You've been given an ultimatum, it's either them or the dog---are you breaking up?

[Anonymous]

So you've been dating someone for a while, and your dog is not a fan. S/he barks at, bites, growls, etc at your partner every time they are near. Your partner has done nothing but try to get along with your dog but your dog isn't having it and now after months of this "abuse," your partner tosses you an ultimatum. It's either them or the dog?

Ha, it's totally over!!!! My dog is my best friend and I can find another partner

My relationship is really important, I may consider re-homing my dog if it's that important to my partner

[slatyb]

I will work with the dog and a trainer. If that doesn't help, the dog is going to have to find a new home.

[Blueeyes81]

I've know my dog longer. He's not going anywhere.

[OlderAndWiser]

I've had this issue arise twice in the past 8 years.

2015-2017 I was dating a woman who had two dogs, and each weighed 50-60 lbs. I would spend weekends with her and sleep with her in her full-size bed. She insisted on having both dogs sleep in the bed with us. It didn't bother the dogs to sleep on top of me but it made it impossible for me to get any restful sleep. I didn't give her an ultimatum but I did tell her that this was a huge problem. Her failure to respond was one of many factors that I considered when I eventually broke up with her (despite the fact that we were otherwise extremely compatible and the sex was great!)

2020-present In December 2020, I started dating the girl who is now my fiancée. She lived 80 miles from me and I went to her and spent most weekends in her home. She occasionally spent a weekend in my home. I had two cats. She tolerated them but she does not like having animals in the house, and she has some allergies. She moved in with me in August 2021. She never gave me an ultimatum but it was obvious that the situation could not continue indefinitely. We found homes for both of the cats and both of them adjusted well afterwards. I still have a cat who is outside during the day, but sleeps on my back porch at night or when it is raining, and my fiancée does everything she can to help take care of Uncle Thunder (my profile pic.)

I loved my cats and I would have never just dumped them somewhere, but I did was I hope brought the most happiness to all of us in the long term.

[Asker]

That seems very reasonable, well, the latter, not the former.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@OlderAndWiser
If you truly loved your cats as much as you claim you did you would not have gotten rid of them. You would have been a package deal.

[OlderAndWiser]

@MysteriousDarkness Your opinion.

[MysteriousDarkness]

@OlderAndWiser
At least I didn't get rid of my cats as if they were disposable like you did with the ones you had. You ginding them a good home meant yours wasn't good enough. Mine were with me until it was their time to go to Heaven. The cats for you were just a place holder where as for me my pets were family and still are in spirt.

[OlderAndWiser]

@MysteriousDarkness Okay, you occupy the moral high ground. Feel better now?

[AviatorTom]

Tough choice... I'd probably keep the dog

[BoopBoopBeep]

My dog wasn't the one who gave the ultimatum. Just sayin'

[Simslover92]

The dog has to go. I'm not a big pet person anyways so it wouldn't bother me that much.

[msc545]

Hell yes we are breaking up Anyone who would do such a thing isn't some one want to be around at all.

[Asker]

Have you actually considered the situation though? You, the dog owner have essentially allowed your dog to bite, growl at, and bark at your partner for an entire year, and they've done nothing to provoke your dog in anyway and now they are at their wits end for good reason. Wouldn't you feel upset if the situation were reversed or your partner just laughed every time it happened (I saw something like this on a tv show, hence my question). To me that shows a bit of lack of respect and that one is a poor dog owner if they don't even try to stop or change the dogs behavior of the dog towards someone they say they like or love.

[msc545]

The dog is more important

[Mallic00]

It doesn't matter if its a dog or your hobbies, anybody that makes an ultimatum like that. Isn't worth sticking around with.

[Asker]

This is a total hypothetical after I saw something like this on a tv show, but can no one feel pity for the other person. If you were being growled and bitten every single day, how happy would you be to be there if your partner did nothing about it?

[Mallic00]

Then that likely means the dog knows something you don't.

[Nikki1989]

Yes, the dog stays.

[LiamJHayden]

Any ultimatum is an automatic bye bye.

[strateguy632]

keep pet dog