Is it better to break up with someone in person, or is it acceptable to do it over text or phone?

Question

provokeesmokee · Accepted Answer

I prefer in person, but I've done one via video call (COVID Borders made in person impossible) and one via text (she asked for it to be sent via text despite me pushing for in person - we both have anxiety disorders, so I understand having it written).

The video call was one I was glad I did in person. The ex I was breaking up with was a manchild who couldn't even handle a serious talk about expectations, so a break up in person is likely not to have landed or made it through his idiot fog. My favourite line from that 31 yo manchild was "I guess I have to do what I have to do" (i. e. do the job he was hired to do, actually clean and cook, etc). 31 years and he still didn't know how to buckle down to do whatever needed doing.

The text wasn't ideal. I didn't want to do it. I think I could've handled it better and refused to explain, but it would've made my ex feel worse. She and I had been growing distant and she'd said some things that were red flags - kink shaming, she has unrealized feelings for her NC friend, and her intense dislike of touch. I knew our relationship wasn't right for me and made the mistake of telling her I'd like to talk next time we saw each other. She told me she was anxious and wanted to know what about right then, and I tried saying I would rather speak in person but she insisted.

I cushioned the latter as best I can - she did nothing wrong-wrong (in my opinion she needs to sort out her sexuality and her love for her friend before dating anymore), it was just a bad fit for our romantic compatability.

The former, however, I wish I'd been more harsh for. He was really a complete idiot, but I was the one who fell for his lies and pretending. At least Canadian Border Agents saved me from the worst mistake of my life, lmao. They do good work and make US Border Agents look like the racist gestapo militants they are. Srsly, the difference between the glorified violence and aggressive patriotism of American border houses versus the toned down and strictly professional Canadian ones is so stark.

No wonder Americans pay so much in taxes. Your border houses are way too big, fancy, and overstaffed for the number of Canadian arrivals, lmao.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

It's incredibly chickenshit, immature and lazy to text or phone someone you've been dating to call it quits. Be a grownup and do it in person. It's more difficult, but absolutely the best way. I had to break up with a woman FRIEND and did it in person. And STILL, afterward, this same woman texted me asking to go out with me on a friend date later.

So after all that effort, I had my actions validated. She was an idiot and heard and saw nothing I did. However, I think SEEING a person's face, and hearing their tone of voice more often than not, CEMENTS the seriousness of your ending things. You get NONE of that in a text and very little via phone.

If it was worth your time to date them, it's worth your time to break up with them, kindly, but firmly.

Novacane · Accepted Answer

In-person is always the hard way since you will have to be there and reciprocate to their emotions in real-time, especially if one doesn't want it to end. But I would say in person is typically the best way. I realized that when this is done in text, people are always left with a need for closure since they never got the full context of why the breakup happened. If the relationship is bad and you can fear for your safety then text/call is the best way

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Both honestly, all depends on woman and the circumstances. For me when got to the break up stage... she was already hard to make plans with. Like she knew the break up was pending and she was avoiding me. So its not like I have actually said the words lets break up in like over 20 years.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Depends on the circumstances. Once it’s done, it’s done.

AviatorTom · Answer

To avoid a bad scene, send a text or email. If you break up in person, be prepared for a lot of shouting. 😉😏🤔

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

9/10 times it should be done in person because it means there's enough mutual respect to honor the time spent together.

There were a couple of break ups I've had that were over phone and honestly, it's fine. Particularly in long distance, are you going to pay $600 in flights to break up with someone and then take the next flight back? Or are you going to use them for a weekend getaway and then drop the bomb at the end, like "bye thanks for the weekend, see you never."

Break up over text is pretty shitty, break up over phone or zoom call is respectable.

Rei13 · Answer

It depends on the circumstances. In person is always ideal especially if you’ve been in a committed relationship. The other person deserves that kind of respect even if you no longer want to build a relationship with them. Of course there are exceptions to that when dealing with abuse etc. If it has to be through phone then calling is better than texting, and texting should be the final option. Texting tends to show a lack of respect followed by the act of actually turning into an actual ghost.

Anonymous · Answer

I break up over text. Neve phone call, voice mail. Or person.
Cause I don’t want to embarrass myself looking like this

👇👇👇👇👇👇👇

I’m not doing it. I WILL NOT look like that in front of someone. I REFUSE to ugly cry to someone. 😬😬😬😬😬😬😬

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

99% of serious conversations with my girlfriend (s) happened over text. I don't inagine breaking up would be any different.
I'm just a sucker for women, so when I look into their pretty eyes and see tears, I lose my words and the conversation ends with me hugging them and saying I'm sorry.
They can manipulate the shit out of me with that stuff, I'll admit it

NamerOfStars · Answer

Do it in person. If they ever meant a damn thing to you- and if they didn't, why were you dating them?- then they deserve that much. If you're worried that they'll flip out in response, then do it in public with other people around. If need be, do it in the police station, but say it to their face.

DizzyDesii · Answer

I prefer bad breakups so that I never consider getting back together. If we have an easy breakup, we’ll likely want eachother again at some point. So I like to go out in petty style. Its best thats done by phone call. Text is pretty fcked up. In-person is awkward but also hard to go through with. You can say “lets break up” but then one person kisses the other and then you erase everything that was just said lmao

Simslover92 · Answer

In person seems best. Doing it through text or phone just seems tactless. The only way I could see it as a possibility is if you're long distance and even then depending on the distance I would still say do it in person if you're only a few hours from each other.

sheikalana · Answer

It's always best to do it in person. It shows how much respect you have for that person regardless. But if for some reason you feel that you can't have that conversation in person a phone call could be a good option too but you should be able too have that conversation in person. Breaking up with someone through text is very trashy in my opinion.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Face to face is the way to go depending on the breakup situation how nowadays a billboard would be awesome.

jualgentengjatiwangi · Answer

Do it face-to-face. Both Winch and Sussman say in-person breakups are the most considerate and mature option for established couples, and should preferably happen in a private place. “If it's in public, they might be distraught, and then they have to somehow get home, which is horrible,” Winch says

catiecatie · Answer

No break up with someone in person. I’ve broken up with people in person and I’ve been broken up with over texting and social media. Have the balls to tell them in person!

MemeSupreme · Answer

if the relationship was serious and lasted for years, then its better in-person. anything else is better over a phone call bc breakups in person are awkward

alice55 · Answer

It's ok to do it by phone / text if you boyfriend / girlfriend is abuse towards you and you feel in danger. Other than this it's still ok but an asshole moves.

coolbreeze · Answer

Both ways seem ok but by phone and text avoids the in person drama and emotion. Some people can get mad when you break up with them.

YesterdaysChild · Answer

I wouldn't do it any way but in person, depending on the relationship. But I would never do it by text. That is just being lazy.

electromagnetic · Answer

I’ve ghosted, broken up in person and via the phone. I consider all methods acceptable depending on their circumstances.

itsalyssaagain · Answer

Sometimes it’s easier to do it over text. I know that stereotypically it’s not the nicest thing to do. But sometimes it’s much easier to express yourself in writing.

Gent207-2 · Answer

Once it's done that's the end of the matter The most cowardly method is changing your relationship status on Facebook

Nikki1989 · Answer

In person is the decent thing to do.

strateguy632 · Answer

i did talking on phone but text messages seem coward. hear the response.

exitseven · Answer

I would rather do it in person but once I did it over the phone because she lived 1500 miles away.

genericname85 · Answer

honestly, i don't see the benefit in doing it in person. neither on the active nor on the passive end.

Hannajenky · Answer

It depends on the circumstances I guess but breaking up my text is kind of lazy in my opinion

Manuel2 · Answer

Break up depends if they are violent person or not. Always think safety first. So start by phone or in person but a public place and have your friends there too.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

In person if actually in relationship. If just talking online/texts then you can end over text.

LovingJo · Answer

Depends how much respect you have for them, and how much they actually mean to you.

Blackcupcake · Answer

in person is a lot better. doing it over text just seems careless.

kinggeorge007 · Answer

Depends on the nature of your relationship. It's already better doing it in person though

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

In person. Via text or phone only shows you never had genuine intentions on the relationship at all

clampfan101 · Answer

If you have the ability to do so in person, you should.

Wise4myage · Answer

It should always be done in person, face to face.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

The preferred methods are 1. ghost  2. text 3. phone  In person is the absolute last resort

bernhardh · Answer

Text only. In fact, best not to react at all and move on.

SlikyThief556 · Answer

I would say, doing over phone or text, highlights your cowardness. So doing it in person would be an effective break up

more_than_a_guy · Answer

In person, even in a breakup, respect should be there.

justabuddy · Answer

I say always in person. Something's just should not be done the lazy way out of respect.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

I prefer that it be done in person.

rachel776 · Answer

they deserve to be told in person

katiesmuff · Answer

It should be done in person!

boggboss · Answer

In person is always better

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Person. The most respectful way.

gothbxtch · Answer

probably better in person

springxxx · Answer

It's better in person

noohair · Answer

In person unless you fear physical harm.

shades777 · Answer

generally its most respectful to do in person

msc545 · Answer

In person is better but not as safe.

EaterPeter · Answer

Whatever works best for whoever

nata590 · Answer

I think it’s always better in person

LavLavLuv · Answer

In person

In_Trance · Answer

in person

BaoBao1 · Answer

In person

Is it better to break up with someone in person, or is it acceptable to do it over text or phone?

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Is it better to break up with someone in person, or is it acceptable to do it over text or phone?

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