Should I feel bad for exposing my ex girlfriend cheating and possibly messing up her new relationship?

[Anonymous]

So my ex girlfriend of 8 years cheated on me with a friend of hers then left me for him, we tried being friends but she kept being cold towards me. Long story short she ended up cheating on her new boyfriend with me a few times and even planned on marrying me behind his back to help me with a court issue. She ended up not showing up to the wedding after having me spend a lot of money. I ended up telling the new guy&his family everything with poof text messages marriage license photos everything.
I notice she was home during a day she always spent at his house so I changed her Hulu name to bubble butt then got kickrd of our hulu account
Should i bad? She would have been with her for 5 months and it's been a month since I told him everything

[Anonymous]

Given the fact that you’ve posted this several times, I don’t think anything but moving on will ease your guilty conscience, because that’s what this all is — guilt.
Let’s be very honest here and say that what you did was selfish. You didn’t expose her because you feel so bad for the guy, I mean there’s no way you can genuinely feel such empathy when you were hooking up with his woman behind his back all that time. You did this this whole exposure ordeal to get back at her and maybe make yourself feel better after getting played twice, possibly more than that. But in reality what you needed to do instead was take accountability for your role in this and accept you’re not innocent either.
You think because you weren’t cheating on someone you are any better? The fact you even partook in her indiscretion to the point you were going to marry her is just as bad. You did all that exposing, sabotaging her relationship, only to still be where you are now, fixating over her, stagnant in life as a single man, no prospects worthy of moving on from the memory of your ex, like none of this was worth it in the long run.

[Asker]

You're half right and wrong. I do feel a lot of guilt since now that my mind more clear headed I would have done things differently. I should have let her move on and let karma do its job if life feels what she did was that bad. At the time I feel a lot of angry since I had a gut feeling she was cheating on me this whole time but told myself I was being crazy so when she left me it hit like a hammer. She then made me belive she was thinking about getting Back with me with all the flirting, the talks of getting married.. I was feeling a lot of emotions. She's the first person I had sex with, the mother of two of my children and someone i trusted more then my own mother.

[Asker]

So to say I was hurt would be a understandmeny I was mental unstable. I had friends hyping me up saying to send him everything... at the time I did it 0ut of angry not to Is sabotage her relationship just out of angry not caring about the outcome. I wanted to belive at the time i did it because I felt bad for the other guy but idgf about him or his feeling at all.. which does males me feel bad since I should care. I know it's not his felt since he had zero idea she was even cheating on him with me I felt a lot of hate towards him for not even allowing us to be friends. I allowed my ex girlfriend to cheat with me because I still loved her and hope it would work out. . the things she would say to me give me hope. Anyway it doesn't really matter i most post here because it helps me find out how I feel and why I do the things I do. I currently choice to be single by choice I have slept with 5 other girls and its only been 5 months since I lose someone who was like family to me... someone I use to share a bed with for half my life. I hope you have a good day

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe it’s time to have a different approach to this whole thing. When you post here, I think a big part of you is looking for some validation to help yourself feel better. For every “should I feel bad” asked, you’re hoping for outside voices to ease that burden of guilt.
I think instead you need to process what you’ve done and take ownership of your faults so you can move on. Yes, you should’ve let karma deal with her, no, it was not a good idea to expose her, yes, this was mostly in your benefit because at the time you didn’t care about the outcome, etc etc etc. Own these faults so you can forgive yourself, forgive her, and ultimately let this baggage go.

[Opinion Owner]

Also, I would advise that whatever happens in the future, before you act on your emotions involving her, think of what the ripple effects will be. You’ll be dealing with this woman to some extent for the next 18+ years, if I were you I’d want it to be amicable, not beefing or at odds because you’ve done something tumultuous. No matter who either of you date, the kids come first, and if that means you and her are friends and not at each others throats well then your future partners have to accept that, and this is just a general understanding you two should have in place if you aren’t together. I also think you should take this all as a learning experience, and the fuel you need to really be done. There’s no hope with a woman who cheats, both on you and with you. Maybe she used to be a certain person but that lady is gone, you’re dealing with someone else now and should accept that. Don’t let her put you in this position again.

[Asker]

You are 100% right with everything you said.. I hope I can do everything you said without any big issues.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sure you can! Also this is an afterthought, but if you haven’t already then maybe you should think about apologizing to her. I’m not saying she’s fully deserving of it, she was absolutely wrong. However I think it would give you some closure, because what you did was not only out of character but out of anger, and you wouldn’t be so guilt ridden otherwise. She’s probably upset with you right now, I know I would be, but even if she’s not then whenever you get the chance, just have a talk about what happened and how you can be better to one another going forward. The point is to stop hurting each other so you can build a positive relationship again and be amicable coparents, since a relationship doesn’t work at this point in time and honestly if I were you I couldn’t even trust her as a partner again.

[Asker]

I may be working the some job as her we both work in Healthcare and I have a interview at her job tm if I see her I Will apologize if not I'll wait for her to message me. I still love her but you are right I couldn't ever truest her agin since I would be worried every single time she hangs out with another guy or gets a new friend... the relationship died its crazy since we use to be so happy and Healthy. Knowing my ex she's more then upset with me she's likely super mad and heart broken

[Asker]

I sent her out a email and a message on Facebook no reply yet. I notice her account is public now and her boyfriend or ex boyfriend account is still private. I Start working at my new job om the 6th which is where she works at

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know how I missed your last comment lol sorry about that. Well, since you’re her BD there’s no way you won’t be in some sort of contact with her soon, so maybe then you can apologize. Right now she’s unwilling to hear you out, whether it’s out of anger or hurt, even if he’s trying to patch things up with her boyfriend, so I doubt you’ll hear anything if she can help it. If I were you I’d adjust my focus from her onto myself in the mean time now. Work on the things that need it, heal, be a dad, and most importantly let her go romantically. Then this sort of stuff won’t happen anymore.

[Asker]

Trying to make more main I belive before 2024 I'll be at 30$ a hour

[Asker]

I did think about sending her a friend request since I don't think she's even seen my messages but I'll wait

[TruthBeTold77]

Let's not act like you never cheated on her. And yes you should feel bad once it's over mind your own business.

[Asker]

I never cheated on her before not once

[TruthBeTold77]

Okay if you say

[Asker]

I got it all men cheat

[TruthBeTold77]

Yes 😂

[Asker]

Sad you think that

[Billlewis]

I probably wouldn't have done it, but it's not that terrible.

[Riribichri]

Text messages can be fabricated so not solid. Wdym marriage license

[Asker]

A marriage license you need then to get marr8rd in my state

[Anonymous]

She's a slut who deserves nothing but hate

[Asker]

Shit