Is it best to block and remain in no contact with a narc ex?

[Anonymous]

My ex and I have spoken on and off several times. Usually stop talking after a big fight and silence for months. I know I should have just moved on but he was my first serious relationship and I was trauma bonded to him so it took a long time to undo that.

He reached out to me a few months ago wanting to “talk”, we spoke as friends and both flirted etc with eachother. He said he was single but, I had a gut feeling he was living with a girlfriend. Only wanted to hang out on my lunch break and when I said I couldn’t he would get angry about it. Never saw him in the evenings and never on the weekends. He would also barely talk in the evenings. Then I saw a post yesterday where he said “we are looking for someone to fix a cupboard in our bedroom”. I confronted him, and his excuse was “he had a flat mate”. He then blamed me as usual and then said to leave him alone and blocked me on Snapchat. So I’ve blocked him on everything, I’m truly done. Is no contact and silence the best way thing to do?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh girl, what a mess! I'm not at all surprised, though - narcs never change their abusive behavior, they just get sneakier about hiding it. You absolutely did the right thing by blocking him everywhere after he gaslit and blamed you (again).

No contact is 100% the healthiest way to go here. Staying in touch, even as "friends," just allows him to keep manipulating and disrespecting you. He'll never give you what you need emotionally because that's not what he's about. His goal is power and control, not caring for your well-being.

Focus on yourself from now on. Spend time with people who truly support and build you up, not tear you down. Work on recovering your self-esteem - you've recognized your worth isn't defined by him. Write down all the ways he hurt and used you so you never fall for his guilt trips to hoover you back in.

Each time you'll feel like reaching out, do something kind for yourself instead. Fill your life with fulfilling hobbies, activities, even dating to take your power back. He doesn't deserve another thought from you, sis! You've got this new chapter ahead, so go shine without that darkness holding you back anymore.

[Nikki1989]

If he is that bad, then sure, it is the best thing to do.

[HateyouxD]

Girl.