Why is a normal guy who isn’t abusive who’s faithful dropped quickly by most women?

[Anonymous]

Like there’s a stark contrast between my relationship with my ex and her previous relationship he called her names cheated on her and sexually manipulated her and even when he found another women she begged him to come back even saying she could be on the sideline. Ok I have never done any of these things our arguments have stemmed from the fact is take my ground and don’t get bullied and not everything is supposed to be her way or else. so she would get extremely upset and want to breakup, she has physically hit me twice and called me names she said in a more recent phone call don’t even try to get back together.

[MrOracle]

It's because women STILL need their man to lead, and set boundaries, and not take their shit. If you make things too comfortable for a woman, she will actually resent you and lose attraction to you. While most men want PEACE, most women do not - they want drama and conflict - at least SOME - and if you don't provide it, she'll seek it elsewhere.

Mentally unhealthy women - and there are a LOT of those - actually seek out and desire outright ABUSE. But even mentally healthy women want to be with a man that challenges them, and who keeps them in line (they're fully aware that they are often out of control and cross the line - part of that is them shit-testing you to see if you step up and take charge). If you take charge and lead and set boundaries and expectations - and if you do all of this with logic, reason, wisdom, and a sense of fairness, rather than in an abusive way - then she's going to respect you, and her attraction to you will be maintained. If she feels like you always give in and let her have her way, she will see you as a door mat, which makes her feel unsafe, and her vagina will be dry as a desert.

She wants a man who is NICE, yes, but he also must be DANGEROUS, even to her in a slight way, and yet he must be able to maintain control over his dangerousness, except in those rare situations where he NEEDS to be dangerous. Would you hire a body guard who wasn't dangerous? No, of course not. She doesn't want a boyfriend or husband who isn't dangerous, even though she expects that dangerousness to PROTECT her rather than attack her.

[Asker]

Ok she broke up because I wouldn’t let her abuse me she hit me twice and her favorite names for me was nuisance and stupid motherfucker

[MrOracle]

If she's hitting you and calling you names, and you're STILL waiting for her to break up with YOU, then you are definitely not leading, setting boundaries, or have enough self-worth. Of course she didn't respect you - you let her walk all over you. That's the kind of thing you have to cut off IMMEDIATELY, the very first time, and be fully prepared to end things if it happens again. She needs to fear you at least a little bit, or she won't respect you.

[Asker]

I did I threatened to call the police on her each time and have her ass put in jail

[MrOracle]

You threatened to CALL *OTHER* MEN to handle things for you, rather than handling them yourself right then and there. Do you not see why this completely goes against what I'm talking about?

If my girlfriend seriously hit me, especially without any justification, she should immediately be thrown out of my house, along with any of her belongings, and we'd have been done RIGHT THERE. No threats would be made, and no one else would need to be called. I handle my business MYSELF. And THAT is what women want in a man - a man who can handle his business himself.

What if there was some bad guy breaking down the door? Are you going to threaten to call the cops on him? SHE can do that - why does she need you? She wants someone who can PROTECT her - someone who can put the fear of god in a bad guy so that he never wants to be anywhere near that property ever again. Bad guys largely aren't afraid of the police, but I promise you, they'd be afraid of ME.

[Asker]

Ok let me break down what my choices were cause we were on a lease together so she had a legal right to live there. I’m biracial she’s white so if I call the cops I’m endangering my life and she knew that fully. So I was just stuck cause I wasn’t gonna be baited into hitting her back I have too much self control

[dynamicyandere]

It sounds like boredom.


There’s no passion and excitement. There’s a lack of emotion. Women want to feel something. They want to feel alive. In fact, every human wants to feel alive. But, if a relationship has become boring, the spark has gone missing. There is no fire. Women tend want to feel the highs, even if there are lows.


A man doesn’t need to be an an abusive asshole (please don’t). But, if a man wants to keep a woman interested, it’s best that he does what he can to keep the passion alive and not allow the relationship to get boring.

[dynamicyandere]

You can be kind. You can be a gentleman. But make sure there’s still excitement that you can bring to the relationship too. Where is the magic? Where is the passion? Where is the fire?

[dynamicyandere]

It’s possible to do all this in a non-toxic way. But girls that are damaged are often seen attracted to damaged guys, because of the familiarity factor. It’s best to find someone else who isn’t drawn to toxic men. Find someone who appreciates you.

[Asker]

I did plenty of fun spontaneous things for her that created excitement much of this centered around the fact I wouldn’t continue to let her treat me like shit

[dynamicyandere]

If there truly was excitement and attraction and passion between you two, and she was still treating you like sh*t, then she sounds unstable and broken. If you truly were doing everything right, then it’s just a matter of finding someone that will appreciate that — instead of being with someone who is drawn to dysfunction. My most verbally/emotionally abusive ex girlfriend told me that she wouldn’t want to be with me even if I gave her another chance, because I made the relationship too easy. She wants a challenge. In other words, she literally craved drama and fighting and dysfunction. Some people are just like that. It’s best that you avoid dating them.

[Asker]

I’ll say that she was similar she wanted to argue about everything, I cared about her issues she didn’t care about mine or ignored them. I took her on spontaneous dates when she would come home from work, I got her tickets to one of her favorite shows. Got her a coach purse for her birthday, favorite perfume for Christmas she was constantly glued to her phone when I would try to talk to her

[LazerBean]

Certain types of women like to be abused. So if you only get with those types of women, then yeah they're always going to end up dropping you.

[OlderAndWiser]

1. Who decided that you are normal?
2. Is she claiming, or are you thinking, that she is normal?
3. How does “normal” get involved in this discussion, anyway?
4. Sounds like she enjoys drama. Your reaction will tell us whether you, too, enjoy drama.

[TheGuyWhoKnowsStuff]

1. Treat 'em mean to keep 'em keen.
2. Some women don't know what is good for them.
3. Women don't like men they perceive as weak.
4. You're not sexually satisfying her like her ex must have.
5. Some women have a fetish for dangerous, abusive men.

[aceleon]

here is to key to understand it

everything you are, woman are NOT.

you want a nice girl? she wants a bad boy, you want low body count if any? she wants experience from her man, you want faithfullness? she wants emotional rollercoaster, you want respect? she wants being dominated.

this logic can be applied for almost anything and exceptions does not make facts.

[slatyb]

Your premise isn't true. I'm a normal guy, not abusive, and if I tell someone that I'm not seeing others, it's true. Women don't drop me quickly. After three dates they invite me to bed. Maybe your question is "Why am I dropped quickly by most women?"

[Billlewis]

Because he doesn't have sufficient appeal for her to keep him around very long.

[Unit1]

These women need drama and the good guy provides none of it.

[Asker]

So she was ready to go back to her ex after their relationship ended even though he sexually manipulated/assaulted her.

[Unit1]

Pretty much. Drama.

[jarkitor20]

That's just w your ex looks like it
Most women are different and you can't compare all of them to one relationship you had

[exitseven]

My uncle who was a cop used to say the sadists always find the masochists.

[zagor]

I think you are confusing the words "woman" and "women". You can't generalize based on one experience.

[Anonymous]

He's boring. Believe it or not a lot women would rather have exciting douchebag tha will treat her like 💩 than a "normal guy" that is boring.

[CrazyBadger]

Get out of there. If you’re planning to live a life with her.
It’s just going to be a tiring

[Bella2423]

Not true

[Asker]

What do you mean

[Bella2423]

You dropped by this woman and you should leave her, but when you say most women this is not true.