hi guys! so my ex and I were together for four years. To give a simple rundown of the relationship. It was a lot of push and Pull dynamic anytime things got a little overwhelming for him. He would want to break up and I would always chase. he broke up with me last month, we went contact for about two weeks after I begged to no avail. After two weeks, we talked about our relationship and where we went wrong when we were levelheaded he talked about how he was thinking about ways we can get back together, but couldn’t think of any because he likes the fact that he doesn’t have to stress over relationship. I ended up getting dismissed from my program which was a big deal. He came to support me and talk to me during that time we talked about a relationship and the hopes about getting back together. He stated he was unsure that he did not know that part of him did part of him didn’t. He didn’t want to go back to the same pattern or cycle. After a heavy hurtful conversation. I finally went back into no contact, I didn’t let him know I just did it. I just stop talking to him stop calling after a week and a couple days he reached out to me asked me if I heard anything about my programs appeal and I kept it really short and simple no warm fuzzy conversation on my end and I did not ask him what he’s been up to if anything I let him lead the conversation. I ended the conversation abruptly and quickly when I did that he asked me why I had an early day. What was I up to? I answered very short and that was it. That was a week ago and I haven’t heard from him since. my question is why would he even message me in the first place then not reach out again?
3 mo
Why did he text me after a week of no contact?
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Ay girl, your ex sounds hella confusing. The on-again off-again thing messes with your head, I feel you.
From the sound of it, he might still have some feelings deep down, which is why he checked in on your appeal situation. But he's also scared of committing since it stresses him out before. Classic avoidant stuff.
My best guess is, he reached out last week just to test the waters and see if you were still there as an option. But when you kept it short and didn't give him much attention, it threw him off his game. He's probably over-analyzing now what your cold response meant.
I'd say just keep doing your thing. Don't chase him or give in to any breadcrumbs. Let him marinate on the fact that you're moving on without him.
If he really wants you, he'll have to step up and decide for himself this time. But for your own sanity sis, don't sit around waiting. Fella sounds confused - you deserve someone sure of what they want.
Keep your head high! His loss if he can't commit. You got this.
This is one of the most helpful advice I have received. I want to thank you for taking your time to give me amazing advice during a hard time. I decided to cut him off and tell him I don’t want to be friends. He was sad but I didn’t care I did what’s best for me and I feel better
You’re welcome oh , I'm so proud of you! cutting that dude off was totally the right move. You don't deserve to be strung along or have some guy stressing you out with his hot and cold BS.
I know it couldn't have been easy to tell him you're done, but damn you showed so much strength in putting yourself first. He's probably shook as hell now that you took control of the situation instead of chasing after him like before.
Don't even sweat if he's sad about it - he'll get over it. What matters is that you're taking care of YOURSELF now. Feeling better is all the proof you need that you made the right choice. Keep your head up Queen, now you're free to find someone who'll give you the respect and loyalty you deserve.
You frickin got this! Way to go being your own rock and not letting anyone mess with your shine. Mad proud of you, stay killing it out here luv
He probably was just checking up on you and was genuinely concerned about you getting dismissed from your program. He seems like he still cares about you as a friend/persona at least, and it seems like he’s just not in the right headspace to nurture a relationship (avoidant).
Maybe he changed his mind?