Do you think it is one gender’s fault exclusively when a married couple divorces?

[WhyohWhy69]

I just spoke to someone who thinks it is always one gender’s fault when a divorce happens. Do you think he is correct?

Yes

No

[RavVid]

I've said Yes but would have preferred a MOSTLY option.

Median length of marriage is 8 years and at least 70-80% of divorces are unilaterally initiated by women - I think 80-90% is more accurate. It is undeniably true that divorces are largely initiated by women.

Now fault is ambiguous. Most people wouldn't consider it the divorcing spouses fault if their spouse cheated which is why I think the female initiated divorces are nearer to 80-90%. You have to consider cheating as divorce initiation in my view.

There are a range of things we would consider as not the divorcing spouses fault in the termination of the marriage.

But is boredom, depression and a 'need to find themselves' really the other spouses fault? Considering that both husbands and wives are ordinary people, it is possibly unreasonable expectations that are the major cause.

So as well as being women that are unilateral initiators, I tend to think it is predominantly their fault

[handsomelad70]

Divorce is usually both spouses' fault

[sage2021]

Oh, so now even gender is the cause for divorce. Gender this and gender that. I hate hat hate that word!!!

Why don't you watch divorce court for a week and see for yourself.

Or, just Google it.

[Jennz6]

It could be either, but the female usually gets hurt more and the guy pays more lol

[WhyohWhy69]

I don’t know. Lots of men are instigating divorce. Plenty of men get hurt, too. I say it’s both spouse’s faults.

[Jennz6]

You win 🏅

[BLP11520]

If you start over, it hurts financially, whatever the reason for divorce

[Jennz6]

@BLP11520 I believe you

[BLP11520]

I would like a different wife

[Saiesh30]

Ofcourse not. You cannot clap with one hand. It takes two.
The opinion of that person you were speaking with could be true but not universally. As in if someone in a marriage cheats, then it's exclusively that person's fault. You can't blame the gender coz of that.
Barring such exceptions, a fallout occurs when both the people refuse to try and make things work. Their egos supercedes the relationship. And when a person starts valuing themselves more, it's unlikely to have a fruitful relationship.

[WhyohWhy69]

I don’t think that proves him right that it’s exclusively one gender.

[Saiesh30]

It doesn't. Blaming a gender particularly is bias and not wisdom.

[Anonymous]

Obviously not exclusively, because every case is different and every couple's circumstances are different.

BUT... on average, the blame for the high divorce rate and the destruction of the institution of marriage falls squarely at the feet of women. Half of marriages end in divorce, women file 80% of them, and men get screwed in divorce and child custody.

And, it's impossible to ignore the fact the highest dicorce rate by far is among lesbian couples, the lowest rate is among gay couples, and the rate among hetero couples in right in between. It's pretty hard to ignore the implications there.

Most of todays women are very self-centered and self-serving, and have no sense of commitment. That's the bottom line.

[JacobJordan]

A relationship has 2 people. It takes 2 people for a relationship to work and 2 people for it end. Fault may not always be 50/50 but both parties are always ALWAYS at fault for the relationship ending. In fact the biggest red flag either a man or woman can have is when asked "why did your last relationship end" they respond with "oh so and so did this this this this" and not once do they list anything they did wrong.

[James_Likes_PPL]

Most divorces are initiated by women and most divorces are do to financial reasons. But that doesn’t translate to always and you can’t assume things about every divorce case because of it.

[WhyohWhy69]

No sorry those are old stats.

[WhyohWhy69]

It’s similar to racism. However, society punishes racists. So they move on to blame another part of society.

[James_Likes_PPL]

My apologies. Looks like it’s still 70% of women but the most common reason is lack of commitment.

[Billlewis]

I think it's primarily the man's responsibility to make sure the woman is happy. If he's unable to succeed in doing so consistently, then she has every right to divorce him, in my opinion.

[strateguy632]

most are initiated by women. add lesbian divorce rate higher and know female fault in most divorces.

[Anonymous]

She picked him out of many guys, then she divorces him as women file most divorces so yeah she has the most culpability the majority of the time.

[WhyohWhy69]

Sorry plenty of men file for divorce.

[Opinion Owner]

3 out of 4 are filed by women.

[WhyohWhy69]

I’m sorry- your stats are not only incorrect, they are very outdated. There are reasons for men and women to leave a marriage.

[WhyohWhy69]

I can tell you’re part of a cult of men who target women. Some of you even hurt children and families. Get help.

[Opinion Owner]

A cult? I target? Hurtful to women and children? I am in need of help?

I can see why he moved on, truly. You are shrill, accussatory and fly of the handle. I have been happily married for well over 30 years, have three children all with Masters Degrees and 2 with large homes, excelled in corporate life which would not have been possible by not being level headed and accurate in data and decisions. You’re nuts. Anyway, here is some articles from the US and UK so this phenomenon is not US-centric. There are MANY articles about this and a short google would have shown you that which seems too much for you to manage. The first is from Nov of 2022 in Psychology Today by a female PhD. Argue with her. The rates they state in various article go from 62% to 78% which is 2/3 to 3/4. The BBC article is from May of 2022. BBC is a top news outlet in the UK (I feel it necessary to say that as you given what I listed and you do not seem well read).

I am sure you will want to tell me why this is all wrong or in some weird way you are right but don’t bother.

www.psychologytoday.com/.../why-women-are-so-much-more-likely-seek-divorce

www.bbc.com/.../20220511-why-women-file-for-divorce-more-than-men

[WhyohWhy69]

No sorry- you don’t know what you’re talking about. I’d be really careful about what you support.

[Opinion Owner]

You are ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

No, not always. But in general, the fact that half of marriages end in divorce today is far more the fault of women than men.