Do you think divorce is more the fault of men or women?

[razelove]

I'm a man, men

I'm a man, women

I'm a woman, men

I'm a woman, women

It's neither/both!

[inhua]

it's obviously men's fault by far and it's NOT even close

all the problems, issues, inequalities, injustices and catastrophes that happen in the world is the fault of men who are always to be blame no matter what

it's men's fault for not being over 6 feet tall. who cares you can't control your height. be over 6 feet tall anyway and stop complaining

it's men's fault for not earning over a 6 figure annual salary. so what if only a limited number of jobs offer that make money, just make that money anyway

it's men's fault for not having 6 pack abs. how dare they leave the gym after only 2 hours. they ought to live in the gym and craft the best possible body. no excuses

it's men's fault for not having at least a 6 inch penis. women hate small dicks because they can't feel them so men better find a way to enlarge their penis

it's men's fault for not doing what their woman tells him to do. quick being a cheapskate and buy her that $10000 purse because she said so. quit whining about moving the piano. be a "real man" and do it anyway

it's men's fault for having terrible hobbies. comic books? gaming? who do you they think they are? Henry Cavill? Dwayne Johnson? you ain't that attractive

it's men's fault for not allowing his woman to do anything she wants whether it's posting online thirst traps, flirting with hotter guys and cheating on you. she should be allowed to anything she wants otherwise the man is just insecure

it's men's fault for not accepting a woman with so many red flags. even though she fucked 50 guys for free before you while making you jump through hoops to finally marry her, men need to stop pursuing desirable women and settle for undesirable women

if men did everything they could to meet their woman's physical and emotional needs she wouldn't cheat on him, leave him and divorce him etc. regardless of whether she meets his needs or not. men ought to take some responsibility even for shit they can't control and become as attractive as possible even if it's unrealistically impossible

long story short, it's men's fault for divorce even if he has to pay child support for a kid that's not his

[razelove]

I saw one about a guy getting sued for 10k for emotional damage because he stood a woman up on a date. It got thrown out of court, but for me I treated marriage flippantly when I was young and paid the price for it.

Now It's something I take deadly serious. If I hadn't met my wife when I did, most likely I would have just continued with convenient relationships and just not gotten married as there is no benefit to me if I'm not starting a family with someone traditional.

[Anonymous]

Its hard to look at the numbers of women filing nearly all the divorces, and even having a astronomically higher rate among lesbian than Gays to know Women are in fact the main driving force behind divorce.

Turning around and saying men somehow made them do it is a childish exercise in refusing to take responsibility for your own ACTIONS.

When you dig into the details of divorces you start to see a pattern indicating a cultural problem with how women view marriage, and set themselfs up for failure leading to being miserable and a high rate of divorce.

In general many girls expect far too much from the relationship.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Lord there are some really incel answers to this already blaming women for everything under the sun.

The truth is it really is both their faults at times. It can be anything from an abusive relationship, infidelity, constant fighting, or simply just falling out of love. It's not a woman's fault any more for initiating a divorce than it is for the man who's actions may have led to it or vice versa. It doesn't mean initiating a divorce wasn't justified but if you must assign blame then it should be equal.

[razelove]

I agree broadly to that. The specific examples of abuse or infidelity would be the fault of one partner in the relationship though. Probably the biggest issue in both cases (one I experienced) is not being brave enough to simply leave and cut ties the first time that happens and let it continue to grow, which is where you do become complicit in their behavior.

[inhua]

no you're wrong. it's actually men's fault completely for not meeting all their wife's needs from genetic to financial to emotional etc. if he remained attractive to her in all aspects she wouldn't feel the need to exercise her hypergamy and seek out someone better

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

@razelove I took that under consideration, too, but people like Inhua here will still blame the woman for initiating the divorce, even in cases like that.

@inhua grow up

[inhua]

read again. I blamed men.

under what circumstances would it ever be a woman's fault for the divorce? explain.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I read it just fine. Your sarcasm is dripping through the screen. Grow up.

[Alli39]

Very situationally dependent. Sometimes it's simply that people's lives went in different directions, sometimes one person (or both) starts to take the other for granted, sometimes it's the development of mental health issues, sometimes it's changing life circumstances. I know women initiate a divorce way more, but that doesn't mean it's the man or the woman's fault specifically, just that, for various reasons, women tend to be more willing to openly identify the problem and choose to end it.

[razelove]

Relationships do require work from both partners when the puppy love wears off. Marriage aside I've seen a lot of relationships crumble because one or both partners take it for granted and don't put that work in, myself included.

[Alli39]

I'm fully in agreement with at. I lost a couple friendships recently when I found myself as the only one willing to put in the work to maintain them and receiving a lot of negative feed back for doing so. It really sucked, but that's life I guess.

[inhua]

if women initiate more divorces than men it's definitely the man's fault. after all he is the one who proposed to her so he takes all the blame if he married a gold-digger, a cheater, a narcissist. he is the one who couldn't stay attractive enough for her when she wouldn't have to find another man to meet her physical/emotional/financial needs

[Alli39]

@inhua Um. Those aren't the primary reasons people get divorced. Are you ok? People divorce over issues like increased conflict, lack of communication, lack fo commitment, cheating, domestic violence etc. A lot of times these things aren't present at the start of the marriage and develops in one or both partners. I get that you're trying to put this weird hateful/sarcastic reverse argument up, but it's really not that meaningful or productive.

[inhua]

if I'm wrong then why don't more men file for divorce?

[Alli39]

@inhua Lots of reasons! But it's mostly cultural/psychological. Women are expected to have more responsibility for emotional peace in the household. Women have more complex expectations in terms of balancing career vs household responsibilities (since women are often still expected to raise children, do chores, etc). Women are taught to be more emotionally aware in general and therefore are more likely to recognize and be openly affected by conflict. Men are more likely to engage in physical abuse (partly because violence is more socially/psychologically acceptable for men than women). Women also tend to have more close friendships/relationships outside the household that she can turn to if she divorces. And finally, family often does favor women (in part because fo the woman's more direct role in child-rearing) so there's a larger chance she'll receive partial or full custody of her children. There's probably more reasons but that's at least part of it.

[inhua]

then how is none of this men's fault then? why doesn't he start doing more of the stuff his woman does? or not be violent? or do stuff that makes her less likely to divorce him?

[Alli39]

@inhua I mean, it's less that it's not the man's fault so much as it is both people's fault. Abuse would be an exception, but physical abuse isn't even close to the primary reason for divorce. Lots of divorces happen simply because people fall out of love or end up leading lives that come into conflict. It's both and neither people in many cases if that makes sense. Women may be recognizing the problem more often, but that doesn't mean they aren't part of it.

[inhua]

if it's within a man's control, why isn't it his fault? he could start doing more chores after a long day at work instead of relaxing. he could try to get 6 pack abs instead of settling for a dad bod. he could try to show her more attention instead of worrying about his needs. he could give up his job, lifestyle and livelihood to accommodate for his wife's

[Alli39]

@inhua This is a targeted enough list that I"m going to assume you're trying to tell me you're not interested in having a rational discussion. Have a nice day.

[inhua]

nothing I've stated is wrong though. nor would it be any different to the thoughts and feelings of the women who divorce their man

[AviatorTom]

Divorce doesn't need to be anyone's fault. My wife of 20 years and I amicably divorced because our time together had run its course, and it was time to move on.

[razelove]

I wonder about that myself, like what comes after the kids are out of high school, the house is paid off, and we may find we don't really have that much in common anymore, you know?

[inhua]

who lost attraction for who first?

[AviatorTom]

@inhua In my situation, that is hard to say. We just stopped being intimate.

[DubiousIntentions]

Seems to me you would always know the reason. Had someone gained a lot of weight? Were you no longer sleeping in the same bed? Did one like to do things with friends rather than their mate? Did one's looks take a turn for the worse? There is always a reason whether we choose to admit it.

[OlderAndWiser]

Sometimes neither party is fault; they are just a couple who rushed into marriage and then realized they are not a good match. Other times, the guy is at fault, or it is the girl, or it's both.

[molonski2]

I think the numbers show that its women who instigate and initiate most divorce , I think generally because they have higher expectations and have always seen divorce as an option -- I really don't like the word " Fault " , I'm not sure its black / white like that.

I think that any relationship that last 5 years plus should be celebrated in some form / way.

[razelove]

I like the word fault, because it can be applied in specific circumstances like abuse, cheating, and abandonment to name a few. Also because you do genuinely have no fault where one or both parties simply don't want to be married anymore.

What meaning does no-fault have without situations to assign fault to a party?

[molonski2]

Most circumstances are " No fault " , its just life , you can't place blame on just one action or another , and this is why we have worldwide , no fault divorce , fault is a fantasy in the head of the individual who feels badly done by.

[razelove]

That depends on the state. I had an at fault divorce when I was 19 or 20 because there were heaps of evidence I had collected and submitted. The only fault I put on myself was not leaving sooner, ignoring the threats of self-harm, ignoring any idea of working things out, and just worrying about my own well-being.

You can 100% righteously put the blame on someone else when they do something to hurt you.

[monorprise]

I think its because women are far more focused on their feelings and with today's definition of 'love' said women are actually married to their feelings rather than their husbands.

Then there is just general ignorance and expecting guys to act like women and enjoy talking about feelings.

[molonski2]

Sorry , I'm not from wonderful US of A.
No fault divorce was bought in universally in the 70s. What you guys do is up to you.

[DubiousIntentions]

Seems to me men are the ones who typically shut down in a relationship. A lot of men can't seem to share their emotions with their mate. They hold too many feelings inside. And they are the ones that typically are flirting with all the women and checking them out on Instagram and Only Fans. Of course, this is just my opinion. Others' opinions may differ.

[monorprise]

@dubiousintentions Your discriminating behaviors you find undesirable, but are nonetheless NOT divorcing their wives.

Men have been not sharing their emotions, and flirting with and checking out women since the dawn of time, to expect that to simply stop because he agreed to commit his life and resources to 1 woman, is to expect a man to simply stop being a man.
Theses things are programed into male nature.

This Frankly NEW expectations weren't reasonable at any time in the last 1000 years and its still not reasonable today no matter how much sense it might make to a very differently wired woman. Yet for all of that time Marriages were solid.

So tell me how can theses behaviors be responsible for ending marriages now but not in the prior 1000 years?

The answer is they can't its your frankly NEW expectation and how you react that is ending the marriage. This is why women actually file a super majority of divorces.

Althou I suspect a lot of it really comes down to the fact that modern people particular women who are taught to focus on feelings are really married to those feelings rather than their partners.

[DubiousIntentions]

@monorprise So you are saying men do not honor their marriage vows or can be expected to? That would just about doom marriage as an institution, which was created by God by the way, not man.

[inhua]

because women never check out other men right? nor do they try to get other men to check them out right when posting on Instagram and Only Fans right?

[monorprise]

@dubiousintentions That depends on what the Marriage vows you pick, and how you interpret hoses words.
When even the word 'love' for most of the population has been radical altered to some very different and incomparable concept, how do you think all the other words have been changed?

A man honored his vow's as long as he continued to support his wife first and foremost. Even sleeping with other women was somewhat Ok. Hence the extensive rules in different cultures regarding the status of illegitimate children.

Indeed the modern conflict between christian in Muslims is regularly said to center on this very issue. Obviously the bar for faithfulness to wife's was very low and basically financial for nearly all of human history.

You can say that is very unfair if you want but men and women think very differently in regard to sex and relationships.

[Anonymous]

Women cause most divorces, because the motherfuckers always have a new swinging dick blowing smoke up their ass. Telling them that leave that no good motherfucker and get with me and I will give you the moon. Always greener pastures and a better life. Women have what is in demand and this gives them the power. By the time they leave you they have already been cheating and fucking the new swinging dick. Then with the new dick in the picture the God damn woman won't try to work on and save the marriage, just move on with the new motherfucker. They don't care about the children just their God damn happiness. Like my fuckin ex-wife told me " the kids will get over it". Women are self centered motherfuckers.

[DextroShade]

Women initiate the overwhelming majority of divorces, often over thing like money or "irreconcilable differences". Most men cannot cheat and most women can. In addition our corrupt family vourt system heavily favors women and incentivizes them to divorce; there are actually women who will meet with divorce lawyers before their marriages! All of this means women are definitely at fault for the high divorce rates.

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Men are going to say women and women are going to say men, but the reality is intimate relationship behind closed doors have various reasons why things just doesn't work out in a marriage.

Infidelity, abuse, distrust, financial problems, lost emotional feelings for each other, n
Lack of sex leads to divorce and to say it's more the woman's fault or man's fault isn't accurate.

[inhua]

actually it's more accurate to point the finger at the man because HE chose to propose to her, HE chose to not protect himself, HE chose to not meet her needs i. e. looks, money, status etc.

[exitseven]

I think itvis both. It takes two to tango

[razelove]

I can see that depending on how far back you're going. Like it's tough to blame a woman who takes you for a ride for half your stuff if you met her broke and in a club. Or for a woman to blame a man who cheats if he was dating multiple women when they met.

As far as not assigning blame, that's where I say you have to blame yourself if you have some age and experience, because for most people the writing is on the wall.

[exitseven]

It takes a lot of work to make a marriage work. If both parties are not invested in the relationship it will fail. Either party could be the one that hust gives up

[strateguy632]

if men were the cause then more lesbians would get along but their rate is highest so lady fault

[safricanluke]

I believe that in a majority of cases it's actually a problem with the situation rather than a specific party being at fault. In most cases I believe the problem comes when people get married too young or for the wrong reasons

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

My late mom and dad got a No-Fault Divorce on July 1994

[Nikki1989]

It is not that simple.

[MihirLopez]

It's all wrong.

[XXblack88]

It's both

[inhua]

no it's men's fault

[XXblack88]

@inhua @inhua You're allowed to have your opinion but I'm not changing what I said

[Anonymous]

I say both.

[inhua]

no it's men's fault