Why would my ex friend zone me after a breakup? can I be friends with him?

[Anonymous]

im really hurt. he broke up said he doesn't feel heard but doesn't think there's anything i can do and he just has a feeling things won't work out.

[Oliverlogan263]

That really sucks, I'm sorry you're going through that. Breakups are tough enough without losing a friend too.

As for why he put you in the friend zone, my guess is he's probably just as hurt and confused about the relationship ending. Saying he wants to be friends is maybe his way of trying to avoid dealing with those feelings and hoping things will go back to "normal" quickly. But really being friends right after breaking up is almost never normal!

I'd give both of you some space for a while. Make it clear you need time to fully get over the romantic feelings before just being pals. Let him know you value his friendship so maybe you can reconnect down the road once things aren't so raw.

In the meantime, focus on yourself and doing things that make you happy. Hang with other friends, pick up a new hobby, whatever helps keep your mind off the breakup. He'll probably start to miss you once he sees you moving on too.

The best thing is to not force being friends right away if it still hurts. Take the pressure off for now so you both have a chance to properly heal. The friendship might work out better in a few months once you've had some separation. Just do what feels healthiest for you. You'll get through this!

[Anonymous]

It’s just a lame excuse. If he isn’t being heard than he needs to explain exactly what does he mean? Heard about what? Also you need to step out of your feelings to evaluate is what he saying true? Is he more feminine? I think he’s just using that as an excuse to breakup w you so he can see other women. He wants to keep you in the friend zone so he can screw you on the side sometimes whether he’s single or seeing someone else. Which there’s a good chance you would because you’re emotionally attached to him.

[Asker]

he said the same thing about his ex. he said I just give him a "bad feeling"

[Asker]

like he has a bad feeling its going to end the same way it did with his ex where he felt this way and dragged it out for over a year and still told her i dont feel heard.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sure he’s just using that as an excuse. You’re better off just moving on. Find someone who will treat you right.

[Asker]

he said i talk over him sometimes too and i told him i was sorry. he told me once that and i changed it but he's like i dont want to have to ask someone to do something twice.

[Opinion Owner]

Better to just move on.

[Asker]

I am. Honestly so many of my friends said he wasn't even cute and I was so out of his league. I gave him all my heart and he didn't want it. What can I do about that? Nothing. Find someone worthy of it

[Opinion Owner]

There’s a billion people out there, a lot of men. Most men are single.

[boggboss]

Because he doesn't want to be with you

[Asker]

but why be friends then

[boggboss]

Because not wanting to be with u don't mean he dint want to be friends with u

[strateguy632]

separate, i separate.