When is the best time to tell an ex you’re pregnant?

[Anonymous]

When you have symptoms and think you may be

When you take a pregnancy test and it comes back positive

When you do a blood/urine pregnancy test at the doctor

When A/B/C occurs and you’ve started showing a belly bump

When you’re about to give birth and want to invite him

When you’ve given birth and he can do a paternity test

Its okay to never tell him

Updates

26 d

It’s scary to think that a miscarriage or stillbirth or something could happen. Some men also want proof that they are the father. Why scare or upset him if I haven’t given birth yet?

Updates

24 d

I thought it would be obvious that the ex is the father. He is the only man I have been with. Why else would i randomly share this news with an ex boyfriend? He is only an ex as of recent. It hasn’t even been a month since we parted ways, respectfully.

Updates

16 d

I asked him and he said he’d want to know asap if I was pregnant. He then asked if I was. I changed the topic and he never caught on

[Surely]

If you maybe don’t want to be around him or be a co-parent with him. You can financially support a child without his support. Then best to stay away. If you want child support. Then he really should know as soon as you know, for sure.

[Asker]

I like your first option, but I am not against co-parenting.

[Surely]

The women that I dated with children. You could always expect the sperm donor to screw up your dates. But if you feel that you can peacefully co-parent with him. That is your choice. It can get awkward!

[Asker]

He said he wasn’t ready to be a dad, so thats why I’d hold off on telling him.

[Surely]

Unfortunately for him. He doesn’t have much to say anymore about not being ready for fatherhood! Good luck on whatever you decide!

[Surely]

Thank you for the MHO! I hope everything works out for you and the future addition!

[Keyboardkat]

Sounds like you picked a real winner to have sex with. People can use birth control, but still, accidents will happen. Actions have consequences! Don't want to be a dad? Then don't sleep with women, duh! Man up and take responsibility! There ain't no free lunch, my friend! You know, the late radio psychologist said that a woman should have two things before she sleeps with a guy: A ring, and a wedding date! Don't sleep with a man who is not committed to you! He's likely to grab the first plane to Katmandu! Or Katmandon't. But now the deed is done, so you have to
make the best of it and that he will do his utmost to be a father to his child. Kids need a daddy!

[Keyboardkat]

Sorry, I meant the late radio psychologist Dr. Joy Brown.

[DannyUk2017]

You keep on saying after the birth, after the birth... obviously you have something in your mind... CHILD SUPPORT!, as you don`t want to let the father know that you are pregnant and have no regards for His decision.

[Asker]

I do not need his financial support. I am comfortable doing this alone.

[DannyUk2017]

Well then at least let him know...(and you updated the question), why would you think he will be scared? It was an "not allowed befre marriage sex"? and "incestuous sex"? a "mistake" such he cummed in you and you didn`t told him nothing?, why would you reach to the conclusion that He wouldn`t be Happy to be a Father?

[Asker]

He said he wasn’t ready but took the risk of doing it without a condom even though he didn’t cum. But it looked like he did. It was not precum. It was definitely the color of cum on his tip when he pulled out.

[DannyUk2017]

Well then i can say one thing... He Just Fucked Up... :D Either way he has a right to know... ;)

[Seinna]

I'm really curious, what decision would that be? To walk away from the responsibility of caring for his child? Or pressuring the woman to abort it? Just to be clear, I believe both men and women have the right to make a decision - when they chose to sleep with a person of the opposite sex at the age of consent when they understand the consequences.

[Jessica405]

Safety in numbers. So normal home test confirmed by a test at the doctor. No point in telling him you MIGHT be pregnant. Wait until you are sure.

[Asker]

Thats what I was thinking. I want to be for sure

[katiesmuff]

Might as well fuck with his mind asap so when the pee test shows positive. Let him know he might need a second job soon.

[Asker]

That’s so mean though

[katiesmuff]

Oh hell look at the fun he had getting you in that position!!

[Asker]

Good point

[Rei13]

I would wait until you know for sure and then tell him. Just be prepared for either outcome where he will either be there or not.

[b_lova]

I say after you get a blood test from the doctor. While highly accurate home tests do give false positives. If you wait too late then your ex won't believe he is the father.

For what it is worth, it is not the end of the world. Something similar happened with my parents, they broke off their relationship before I was birthed into the world but by the grace of GOD I turned into me. My mom was patient and raised me with the help if my Dad's parents. My Dad took responsibility for me during the Summers so I did grow up with him around, but he was living with his parents for most of my childhood so I was nurtured by my second mom too, my grandmother.

I know you will figure things out and hopefully you can always be cordial with the child's father. That took a lot a patience on my mom's part and I love her for it. Because while I love my dad he can be a man child.

Finally and I know you didn't ask this, but please don't let the child be the excuse the two of you get back together. Only do that if you love each other and are committed to your relationship otherwise both of you could be signing up for a living hell which in the end could do more harm to your child than good. But I will add that if the two of you are willing to become a unit your child will benefit greatly.

You will be in my thoughts as I pray before GOD. Be Blessed Always!

[sean1234]

People want to have their cake and eat it too. If you were married in a very long term relationship, there would be no problems. That being said, you have to tell him. It his responsibility to know. Men shouldn't be heartless monsters to just throw their kids in the trash so to speak. We can only pray to Jesus for things to turn out right.

[poshspice123]

It really depends on why you broke up. If he is an abusive guy… I don’t know maybe never.


Also check legal repercussions.


Also depends on your money situation.

[butterly248]

This is also a good idea!

[laly520]

When you take a pregnancy test and it comes back positive

[Asker]

Why not when you’re more sure, like after birth?

[laly520]

if he is the father he has right to know about it

[Asker]

So wouldn’t after birth make more sense? That way he can even get the paternity test to truly believe it.

[laly520]

after birth is too late n will get everything so complicated
better deal with it from beginning n in direct way
the baby dont deserve irresponsible childish parents

[sawno]

Make sure that you are sure and then tell him, even if its a miscarriage he deserves to know and a chance to grief the loss.

[Asker]

I doubt he’d grieve.

[WindAtMyBack]

When you are positive about it. For a current boyfriend, it can be sooner.

I'm assuming that the ex is the father. If he's not, I don't see any reason to tell him at all.

[TommyMountainFigure]

You can't just ask a question like that with literally no details and expect appropriate responses. I mean, how does he even know it's his?

[Asker]

Did you not see the option on the poll regarding the paternity test?

[TommyMountainFigure]

Oops my bad.. Sorry. I missed it!

[TommyMountainFigure]

I've had time to really think about this. It depends on the reason for the break up. Was he cheating? Did he beat you? Is he heavily on drugs and you know he would be a terrible father?

[Asker]

I think he’d be a great father but he does not want to be one yet.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Sigh. A kid needs his or her father. Go and tell him. If he'd be as good a dad as you say, maybe it is just the wake up call he needs!!

[JacobJordan]

Immediately unless you don't know who the father is. Regardless you should get a DNA test anyways so he knows the child is his

[Asker]

he's the only person I’ve been with

[JacobJordan]

Doesn't matter. The DNA test isn't for you. The baby is yours obviously it is literally inside you. The DNA test is for him so he doesn't have to "believe" the baby is his. He can know just like you.

[Asker]

I put paternity test on the poll for a reason. You say it as if I don’t agree that he should do that

[JacobJordan]

Yeah but you placed it with "given birth" he should know 9 months before that point.

[Asker]

You can do a paternity test before birth?

[JacobJordan]

Yeah. I don't know the exact procedure so check here for more information. flo.health/.../paternity-testing-while-pregnant

[PeachyPie93]

When you take a pregnancy test then you both can decide if you want it or not.

[Asker]

What if one person wants it and the other doesn’t? Is it okay not to tell them?

[PeachyPie93]

I don't know. I would tell him regardless of what the decisions are. His feelings could change or he can opt out but I think he still should know.

[Simslover92]

When you confirm at the doctor's office that you're actually pregnant.

[Asker]

Why not after birth?

[Simslover92]

Because he has the right to know that he is going to be a father beforehand. He needs to have the option of whether or not he wants to be in the child's life before you give birth. That would be too much to spring on a person after giving birth.

[TheDaydreamer]

there will never be a good time. first ask yourself if you want them in your life or not when it comes to raising the child. if you don't want them you don't have to tell

[DishLady]

Before you start showing… but the sooner the better, obviously.

[rosemilk]

when you take a pregnancy test at the doctors office.

[molonski2]

Just tell him when its absolutely confirmed.

[dustybiker2]

You aren't telling an ex. You are telling the father of your child.

[red324]

Time to get back together I think. Whatever quarrel you two had to cause a break up is probably nothing compare to a baby already growing up in a broken home

[jshm2]

He's your ex. Unless you can prove it's his, you've got nothing to gain.

[AngryCarl]

Why would you need to tell your ex something like that? Is it his kid? Better tell him right away, he's going to be paying for it.

[Asker]

He is the only person I have been with and no one said he has to pay

[Anonymous]

If you are like most women, after the baby is born, you will complain that he never offered any support during your pregnancy.