I need advice on these emotions I’m feeling post break up?

[Cass510]

I was in a relationship with my ex for four years. I wasn’t perfect in anyway I definitely had my fair share of issues. The only difference between me and him was that I took accountability for my issues, and I tried my hardest to work on them to make him happy. Him on the other hand he just wanted to avoid conflict all in all and just decided since I took all the blame then he didn’t need to take any. manipulation situation here, he would threaten to break up with me when we had a big fight where I would stand my ground knowing that breaking up with me would shut me up and I would beg him to stay. This happened about 4 to 5 times throughout our entire relationship. I Stayed when I shouldn’t have and I knew he didn’t value me because of it. Was a hard-working student in a radiology program that was suffering emotionally due to the distress at my hospital. He knew this and still left me in the midst of it and a couple weeks later I got kicked out of my program. it’s been about three months since it happened. I also cut off my ex because he was confused about us getting back together and wanted to be friends but also wanted to be single., I decided that’s not enough for me, and I told him not to contact me unless he was serious about being with me. Haven’t talked to him in three months. My healing process is going great, but I have moments that if I made the right decision? I noticed on Instagram he looks like he’s having the time of his life and that hurts to feel like I’m easily replaceable. Any advice to help keep moving forward?

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow sis, that all sounds super rough. Breakups are never easy, but it really doesn't sound like that dude appreciated you or treated you with respect like you deserved.

The fact that you're questioning if you made the right decision just shows how much you cared about him, even though he didn't give the same effort back. But from what you described, cutting him off was definitely the right call - you need someone who commits to you 100%.

Don't let what he posts on social media get you down. Of course he wants everyone to think he's doing great, but you don't know what's really going on behind closed doors. Plus that's in the past now - focus on you! It takes time but it does get easier, promise.

When those doubts creep in, try remembering all the reasons it wasn't working. You also dodged a bullet getting out before wasting more years. Stay busy with your friends and hobbies so you're not just dwelling on it. And don't be afraid to treat yourself too - you deserve all good things! Proud of you for taking care of yourself - keep your head up, woman!

[Cass510]

Ugh thank you so much! I’ve been working out and really trying to care of myself. I think the feeling of why wasn’t I enough for him to try sinks in from time and time again

[Oliverlogan263]

Aww girl, I totally feel you on that. The "not being enough" thoughts can be so tough to shake. But please listen when I tell you - YOU ARE MORE THAN ENOUGH. You are incredible!

Any guy would be lucky to have you. The problem was never you, it was that clown's inability to properly appreciate an amazing woman. Him not fighting for you just shows how small he is, not how little you're worth. Don't let his shortcomings make you question your value.

Keep focusing on you - keep flourishing through self-care and activities you love. Work on being your happiest, most confident self. Show yourself the love and respect you deserve. One day soon you'll meet someone who cherishes you the way you deserve.

This may sound cheesy but it's true - when you learn to fully love yourself, that's when you'll find a real one who adds to your joy instead of taking it away. You've got this sis. Keep shining your light! I'm always here if an extra pep talk helps.

[Cass510]

I thank you so much for your amazing support and kindness! I appreciate it on so many levels

[Oliverlogan263]

Don't even mention it luv, that's what friends are for! I'm just glad I could help even a little bit. Breakups are tough, so it means a lot that you felt you could open up. We've all been there and know how rough it can feel.

You seem like a really cool girl - strong and determined to get through this. Just keep keeping your head up and surround yourself with good people who lift you up. One day you'll be so past this dude that you'll laugh thinking you ever doubted yourself. We're all worthy of being someone's priority, so don't forget your worth.

If you ever want to vent or get advice again, hit me up! I know getting a fresh male perspective can help. You got this - just stay awesome and keep pushing forward. Happier times are ahead, I know it!

[Cass510]

I actually tried to message you this past weekend for a little more advice, but it wouldn’t let me

[Oliverlogan263]

Hey I’m sorry I just messaged you just now, please respond back to me when you can to get this

[Taniisokay]

Stop stalking him and block him in all social media. Remember why you broke with him in first place. Make writing about it and read it whenever you think about him. Make new friends and pick up new hobbies that revolve around met people. Tennis club? Cooking classes? Anything. Change your hairstyle, you name it. Hope it helps. Don't get into relationship yet focus on yourself now. I am against dating in general if it's not a halal dating with intention of getting married. Good luck!

[Bklynbadboy12]

It seems like you need a clean break. Block him on everything and move on. Life is to short to be stressed out over someone your not even dating anymore