Did he just want to see me in pain?

[Anonymous]

After one week of no contact my ex came all the way here to tell me he wants nothing to do with me and the baby while hugging me and telling me i won’t have a happy pregnancy because he's not going to be there and he actually has 6 kids in total by 3 different women and how he still loves me but doesn't want to be with me like dude you could've said this on the phone. Then had the audacity to say why are you crying this is all your fault Im like why would i not be crying when im carrying your child that we planned and your telling me you don't want any parts of what is inside of me so fine ill get rid of it and he’s like look how easy it is for you to say that im like what do you want me to say when your telling me you dont want it. Im like i really don't want to kill my baby and he's like your priorities is f*** up you worried about killing a baby when you threw out my helmet I'm like wow okay this is all my fault when you constantly lie and tell me your coming and don’t show up having different women calling your phone and when i question things you make me seem like I’m weak and now I'm pregnant and he is like yes it is your fault you gotta live with this one. I feel like this guy came over here just to watch me cry like why the freak are you hugging me while I’m breaking down while you say this shit and plus you drop a bomb on me by telling me you have way more kids than you told me from the beginning but calling me a liar. This pain is different but I'll be okay Im still crying now. He also said like what do you want me to do hold your hand and tell you i want to go through with this i would be lying if i told you that. My thing is why did he come all the way to see me to say this? Was it to see me cry cause he could’ve said this on the phone. Once he dropped me off he told me to call him from my window once im upstairs and when i did he blew me a kiss through up the heart signal and drove off.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, that guy sounds like a real jerk. I'm so sorry you had to go through all that. Honestly it really seems like he just wanted to hurt you one last time before cutting ties completely.

Some guys get off on having that kind of power/control over someone, making them cry and emotionally torturing them. Why else would he drive all the way there just to drop bombshells and reject you/the baby in person? He could have easily done that over the phone.

I think he wanted to see the devastation on your face, to watch you break down crying so he could feel big and in control. Some people are just cruel like that, taking their own insecurities and failures out on others. Trying to make you feel as miserable as he probably feels inside.

It was super messed up the way he kept hugging you too, giving mixed signals and getting your hopes up maybe he'd changed his mind. Just to further hurt you. He clearly has some issues he needs to work out.

You don't deserve to be treated that way at all. Please don't let him make this your fault or your problem - his actions say it all about the kind of lowlife he is. Stay strong and surround yourself with people who really care about YOU. His opinion doesn't matter at all. You've got this!

[MrOracle]

Guys like this are walking chaos, and they are also completely selfish and take zero responsibility for themselves or their actions. My question is: how did you not know who this man was before you got together with him - or did you know?

Did you vet him for his morals, values, and life-goals before getting together with him? Or did you just go with your feelings?

[Anonymous]

I hope not