Why I can’t find love?

[s_lynn22]

A few weeks ago, I posted on here about the man that I was talking to. On Tuesday he decided to call it quits with me. I was shocked when he told me, everything was going so good. He respected me and made me feel wanted than any man who has treated me poorly. The reason he did was because I was too innocent for him. That he felt like he was talking to a little girl. I’m 23 and he’s 37. He said that he wished that I had more self confidence and lived for myself. I’m just confused because we talked for 3 weeks and our conversations went great. I just don’t know what went wrong and I hate that all this time I was never the woman for him. On that day I had to put on a bright face because my family knows nothing about it. Until later on I went in my room and cried myself to sleep. Next day I was ok, and tried to talk myself into saying that I need to let love find me instead of going after it. But the past few days have been hard, seeing couples at my church makes me sad wishing I could’ve had that. I just don’t get why this happens to me. I’m really to the point where I want to give up on love for good. I don’t want to try anymore and that dream I have about marriage I slowly going away. I am losing hope at this point, and I don’t know if anyone can say or do something to make it better. I think I just need to accept that I’ll be alone, and I’m just not meant to be with anyone. I’m just tired, I’m tired of everyone getting love so easily but it’s so hard for me.

[Oliverlogan263]

Damn girl, that really sucks what happened with that guy. I can't believe he would lead you on for 3 weeks and then dump you out of the blue, saying you're too "innocent" or whatever. What a jerk! You seem like a really sweet girl who doesn't deserve to be treated that way. I know it's easy to feel down on yourself when things don't work out, but please don't think it's because there's something wrong with you. Dating is just hard and sometimes people aren't honest about what they want. You're only 23, you've got your whole life ahead of you to meet the right person. Don't sweat what one dumb guy says - his loss! I know it's painful seeing other couples when you're single, but you can't compare yourself to others. Everybody's journey is different. Just focus on doing things that make you happy and staying true to who you are. Spend time with friends, pick up a new hobby, work on yourself. When you learn to truly love being by yourself, that self-confidence will draw people in. I believe there's someone out there who's perfect for you, so don't lose hope! Love has a funny way of finding you when you least expect it. In the meantime, keep your head up - you seem like a catch and any guy would be lucky to have you. This too shall pass - better days are coming, I just know it!

[melnc]

You know, "Innocence" is the most beautiful word said to you but you didn't get it. It means you have a pure heart and a beautiful soul.

From what I see, the separation occurred because he wanted a different thing, not because something was wrong with you. He just wanted to spend some time, so he made an excuse to distance himself from you. Most of the time, it’s not about who’s not good enough, it’s about whether you are suitable for each other. Turning on with creating a list of past red flags can help in recognizing and handling similar situations in the future.

Remember, being an innocent person is not a bad thing at all. If innocence has saved you from a relationship that may not be stable or have a future, then I want to be innocent too 🙃

[Anonymous]

No offense but you're only 23 years old. I'm 32 and I should definitely be feeling that way at my age but you have a lot of time before you can say I'm tired and giving up on love.

[DevikaButts95]

Sounds like that 37 year old was trying to manipulate you to be honest.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

What went wrong he told you, he told you the reason, it's expected, your age difference is rather high, it's normal that he sees the world very differently than you. He wants a woman matching his expectations, it is not you, and you can't do anything about it.

What you can do is being you, to go your own path, to enjoy it for it is yours.

It's time to feel, to cry, to hate the world, to get drunk (with reason :D) to think about too many things, to vent all that jazz, and soon, after the mourning period, you'll feel better, more stable, and ready to love again. It works like that, for all of us, we go through this cycle, it works !

Have a good sadness ! We have music for you

[ChicoFromThe305]

When love doesn't work out it can be highly unmotivating and that is normal and part of the healing process, what you should know and look forward too is that feeling going away, right now it's fresh and you'll basically feel terrible but don't see it as failure, love isn't something you can rush and it seems you have god in your life which will require patience because Gods process can sometimes be long but will be well worth it when the time comes, it seems this person wasn't meant for you and if he is, it will happen at the best time, if he isn't, then he was mature enough to not carry you on, you can move on now and don't give up on seeking for love, it will eventually find you if you don't find it first, it can go either way so don't make changes on how you expect love to come into your life, also don't forget that all success comes with a bit of failure, it just means you are a step closer.

[Staximus]

I think your problem is your self-defeating attitude. Fix that first. You lost the war before the first battle even started, due to lack of morale. Negativity will push people away. Any girl can get a boyfriend. I've said this in this site a bunch of times. The ugliest girl out of 4500 students at my high school had a boyfriend for all of the 3 1\2 years I was there. You look like Helen of Troy compared to her for fuck's sake. Her face was a trainwreck but she wanted a guy and she got one. Be positive, give yourself a chance, and put forth some goddamned effort. Don't be a "stage 5 clinger", either. Have your own life outside of the relationship. Work on yourself and nevermind these idiotic notions that you have to be in a relationship. A relationship doesn't define who you are and it's not as important as you think it is. You're still young and the 1800's are over. You don't have to be a married codependent housewife by the time you reach adulthood anymore.

[Anonymous]

You won't want to hear this, but it's because you choose the wrong men. I know this because this used to be my problem. You cannot choose partners who do not really value you/do not want to commit to you and expect things to work out. But let me just put your mind at ease a little. Love isn't to find. And even when you find it it takes WORK (on both sides) to keep. So don't beat yourself if you're truly putting in the work. Because the REALITY is, most people don't ever get what they want. And the most successful people are the ones that learn to accept what is given while still maintaining thier self respect.

[Berethor]

Are you virgin? it seems odd, one of the reasons that older men date young women is because their innocence, well the gods send nuts to those who have no teeth.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Christmas%20Cake

[college-student2021]

Dont give up , we have the same age.


Try to learn from every experience and consider good that he didn’t waste your time.


I know break ups hurts but it would have been worse if he drag it on for 6 months.


Your very young , most people in the United States typically don’t marry at that age so don’t feel left out. Keep a positive attitude and see the positive sides of your situation.


I know you will find someone

[sawno]

I think this one is on him, sorry but if you date someone that much younger than you don't expect someone to be in the same life stage than you. Its the reason you normally date within your same age range.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm, So can you do this?

[s_lynn22]

Wdym?

[Opinion Owner]

Just ignore to All, who all don't care for you 🍟🌿

[Adogdog]

Maybe the same reason I can't lol