Disconnect. Men expect women to fall into more traditional roles without being willing to be a provider or defender themselves. Women expect men to be a provider and defender without compromising any of their previous party lifestyle.
I'm not saying that's true for everyone, but it is by and large the case. So you wind up with women who are playing the field as "girl power" and men who are doing the same as "fuck bois".
Neither is interested in finding love, rather if they do find a genuine connection they will reject, ghost, and friend zone it as a threat to their lifestyle looking at the risk/reward. A guy looking for love is labelled a simp, a woman is condemned by other women for not embracing her "empowerment".
I wish that wasn't the case, and that so many people didn't buy into narratives that divide us and lead to both genders being bitter and unhappy, but that is the trend. Like, simple question, have you found dating, and the expectations of both your peers, and the men you date have gotten better, or worse over time?
Peer pressure and access to technology are changing the way we meet, date, form relationships and families. Those initial positive aspects are turning very... terrible (infinite options through dating, and unrealistic expectations from porn and media), for lack of a better word. Tinder lifestyle is a symptom of that, not a cause.
What are your expectations and requirements for who you will/would date?
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Simple, people dont know what it is. Love is work, love takes work but when it comes to relationships, women, especially, expect it to just fall in their lap out of the blue. Or think that a list of things (a recipe) if achieved, will magically turn into Love. This is why many women pick the wrong men, too busy seeing the things they have on their list that will create love, instead of seeing what matters.
doesn't help that in order for relationships to start now, you have to satisfy a preliminary list. I remember a time when people just went on dates and got to know each other, now, you won't even get that far unless a certain amount of things on that list is checked.
That being said, its gonna be difficult to find love when everyone has a checklist of expectations from the other person, and here's a tip I've been trying to tell women for a long time now, "You are the reason why you can't find love, its all around you, from people who can find it with you, if only you will put down your fucking list, and instead of thinking about what you want, and can get from a relationship, how about you make a list of what you can BRING to a relationship"... call it a resume.
lol... reminds me of a survey i conducted once when i asked women to write what they wanted in a relationship an some of those lists were loooong, and Specific. and when i asked them to write what they could bring to a relationship, most didn't even get up to 5 things on that list and what was listed was vague and general... like "i will be there for him"...
You want love, learn to take chances too.
Honestly, I think there are quite a few reasons. People's standards are MUCH higher, I've seen people on Tinder say "swipe left if you don't drive" "swipe left if you live at home" so on and so forth. If you ask me, judging people by whether or not they drive, or who they live with is a little self-entitled and you must be prepared to understand that people may have struggled financially, the economy is rather tough. However, some people are lucky and won't make allowances for things like that. That's one example of what I mean by 'high standards.'
There are those who have problems with commitment and priorities. For example, potential partners have said to me they don't have time to drive from the next county to see me, or they can't even make time for their best friend who lives down the road. Then the likelihood is they're not going to make time for you.
There's also a lot of competition. If you go on a date and there are one or two little things you don't like about that person, oh well, there are half a dozen other single people out there who could be better. Some people will only settle for 'perfection' which doesn't exist, hence why these people often find themselves alone.
People put their careers first too. Some may put all their energy and social life into their job, which leaves them with no time for someone else. That or they're just unable to prioritise. I've had guys dump me because they've got a better job in a better place, or they have started a new job and lost interest in me as a result.
Simple. Because you cannot find love except for in Jesus and God. Love should already be in you. The problem is that people have forsaken that because it's too religious, fictional, mythical, or Disney supposedly nowadays. I'll come to realize that the Innocence that God has commanded us to have, people are told to not have because of the way of being an adult. Notice how the most miserable people in the world are those that are adults. People have forgotten what love is anymore. And then when you offer that, people rejected. So it's not that is difficult to find love. It is difficult to trust people who constantly throw the word around and still don't know what it means to have love for the other person besides themselves. The world teaches that love is having sex and doing things sexually. When is not true. Yet that is exactly what people do.
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Because things are complex and always changing. I'm bound to leave something out but here are some reasons as to why things aren't always compatible:
There are different types of love. And we have emotions for different reasons which means that the motivations for seeking out the same valued emotions can be different for different people. Even the very definitions for which we use to explain our emotions are complex and confusing. Then on top of that, other factors of reality can mess with things like intensity, duration, style, form, etc.
We're not compatible in ways we'd like to be. But we try. We're here obviously not to get along emotionally. But instead, to (seemingly) reproduce. That's why it's not uncommon to see a lot of unhappy people but plenty of kids.Because people forget what love and relationships should be about. Because people think you can order the perfect relationship like ordering from a take out menu.
Because people are so caught up on what the other has to offer, or what benefits they get, instead of what they are willing to offer and how their partner would benefit.
It wouldn't be so hard to find love if people would just love people for who, what they are instead of what their expectations of people are...I think one reason it’s difficult is that if it was easy less people would be loyal to their partners or appreciate them
- u
It wouldn't be a valuable prize if it was easy to find.
It’s a matter of where you have been looking and the type of people you have been looking for.
We have to look in the biggest issue when we try to date, understand that we can’t just push unrealistic expectations on realistic scenarios.
There was an old mentor of mine who believe in the motto of accountability. Always look into yourself and see if there is something you done wrong and try to correct it with improvements. Don’t be rough just be honest and acknowledge it’s apart of your journey to happiness.
Now the people you talk to, try to understand what’s the type of relationship you want and try to find a person who is on the same page with you. Also never underestimate the power of chance and luck. I encourage everyone to search on all platforms and avenues possible to meet new people because the next partner in your life could be on an app or a coffee shop you stop by every day.
I think I’ve been lucky with falling in love at least 3 times in my life but there was plenty of mistakes along the way so I’m grateful when I do hit the bullseye.This video explains a lot.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/GYJjGpUwhrUI think it was this guy too that said it too, “men need to feel at peace.” Notice the general culture exuded by women... “Men this, men that... Men are to blame. Blame, blame, BLAME!” Women in an awful LOT of cases do not look themselves in the mirror to see what they offer men. They expect men to cater to their every need. Men are seldom ever good enough for the modern woman.
Do NOT fall for the terrible DESTRUCTIVE politics of today’s world. Women ARE capable of whatever they set out to achieve, but they have to stop acting like they are better than men and that only the top 3% of men are the only things that can bring them joy. There are plenty of regular guys out there doing the best they can and know how, making a reasonable wage, that only want a committed and loving partner, that won’t even bat an eyelash to them... and what for? Because he doesn’t own a yacht?
As if a regular guy couldn’t look good enough, be successful and worthy enough, treat you well enough and treat you to a fun time or getaway every once in a while.
It goes both ways too, ask yourself, are YOU doing your part? Are you being enough for somebody else? Are your expectations too high? Are you grounded in reality?
The faster EVERYONE knows and grasps these concepts and that our modern culture and society is TRASH, the better off we will all be.It's generally because people are more focused on what they expect from the other person rather than what they bring to the relationship. If you see value in what you offer, through the other person's eyes, you're more likely to see value in what your eyes tell you, also. After all, the greatest joy we'll ever experience is sharing in a loved one's joy.
Another problem is people's reluctance to learn and use effective communication skills. People generally talk at each other rather than show a true interest in understanding the other. The other person's perspective makes just as much sense to that person as yours does to you.
Back to expectations, are they realistic (from the other person's perspective, not from yours)? A lot of people feel entitled to have a provider of a lifestyle, but just because I want you to give me a million dollars, how likely would you be to unconditionally give it? When we're realistic, seeking no more than we bring to the relationship, we're more likely to see stability over time. Imbalances rarely lead to healthy relationships. I'm not saying everything needs to be completely equal, but a good effort goes a long way.Because different people have different preferences. Guys and girls think they are entitled to the best the other sex has to offer. The problem is that there are so many ways of dating today that one looses interest in going on a journey and trying things out patiently.
Also I see our modern day focus on sex as a problem because sleeping with another isn´t making love if you don´t have love already.
The biggest problem is that we´re not willing to give and fight for something on the long run, we´re looking for easy intimacy hoping it will last long.People just have too high of expectations & can't find the beauty in another's imperfections.
"Girls want a tall guy". My boyfriend is shorter.
"Girls want a guy who look like Brad Pitt or the like". My boyfriend looks like Seth Green.
"Guys want a girl with big boobs/butt, but a tiny waist". I'm a size 16 dress with a boyfriend who's a size 28-30 pant.
If you can let go of societal parameters or personal parameters that are superficial, such as looks that will fade in time, & just look on the inside, your odds of finding love increase.This gets asked a lot on here, but here we go again...
- Social media
- Hookup culture
- Simp culture (Twitch and OnlyFans)
- Male players and womanizers
- Narcissitic/entitled women
- Shallow women ("No men under six feet, please.")
- Online dating apps
- Horrible dating pool: Whores ("bisexuals" and "open relationship" people), Trannies, and Single Mothers
- The economy (more time for work, less time for socializing)
- Feminist cunts/MeToo scaring men from making the first move.
And so on.Lots of reasons surely, but the largest that comes to mind for me is because our concept of love is sophomoric or superficial. Our sense of love has been influenced by Disney and other such novels which purport love to be “happily ever after” and easy. Love isn’t like that. Love is hard, it’s a commitment and it’s selfless and it’s sacrifice.
What we tend to think about when we think of love is actually lust or infatuation. It’s that initial period of newfound love where you act better than you are and ignore faults in your partner that you couldn’t ignore over the long haul. That state may eventually fall into true love, but often doesn’t.Because what we want and what's available to us are often two different things. We live in a culture where we can connect with people on the other side of the world but are appalled or fearful when someone stops us on the sidewalk. We increasingly isolate ourselves in our phones because it feels safer, ultimately eroding our ability to connect. Women prefer to meet online because its safer and gives them options but secretly are turned off by the guys who have to "resort" to online dating, preferring instead to use their platforms as a means of advertising their social media as opposed to genuinely finding someone. It also doesn't help that guys love based on looks and women love based on looks or socioeconomic status so we're always chasing the proverbial carrot in front of us.
Finding love isn’t difficult. Understand what makes a relationship succeed and grow is the difficulty. Relationships need honesty. Not only with each other but honesty with yourself.
My wife once told me when we first started dating that geese mate for life. She thought that was very romantic. I replied to her they also don’t have to talk to one another.
Love is just a feeling as is distrust, stress, anxiety etc. always being honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings will alleviate the distrust, stress, anxiety etc and will allow your relationship to have more room for love.
😊I would say love isn't difficult but more so other factors and choice. It becomes difficult when people are more idealistic.
Sadly, nobody cares anymore about the value and true meaning of love. They either just want sex or a friends with benefits because they'd feel like thatd benefit them better than a relationship and they dont wanna put the effort, loyalty, and commitment with love and relationships. It's also hard because its finding that ONE person who just gets you, has a deep connection with you, and that compatibility😔
I think it is difficult to find love because as a whole we are somewhat selfish, impatient, unrealistic and insecure. We often think about our own needs above those of a boyfriend or girlfriend. We don't have the patience to let love develop gradually. We mistake infatuation for love only to feel let down once the initial newness wears off.
We are often unrealistic in our expectations and give up too soon when things don't go how we envisioned. Insecurity often causes us to be a bit clingy or get jealous when we should trust and give space to the other person.
Some people are lucky and find love early and it lasts forever seemingly without much effort. The rest of us have to look a little harder to find it and work a little harder to keep it.It's not. You have to be WORTHY. Have you done the work?
Tell us, what exactly do you bring to a relationship that would be considered high value?
You need to be able to articulate this as a high-value guy will expect it.
Do you have any idea how to KEEP a man? My guess is you've never even considered it.
Oh, and it's not your empathy, or your golden vagina - every woman has those.There are a lot of reasons tbh, it could vary from person to person.
1. High standards
2. Not meeting the right person.
3. Being shy around the guys or girls you like.
4. Unrealistic or too high of standards for example a 2 wanting an 8. In most cases that'll never happen.We shouldn’t be finding love. Living life well and focusing on better ourselves should be the main concern. I’m sure everyone wants to meet someone genuine and fall in love one that but it shouldn’t be the main priority. The greatest things happens to us when we least expect it and looking for it won’t make it come any faster.
Honestly? Because most women prefer the world of make believe as a opposed to the real world. Ergo they tend to latch on and develop feelings for guys that are the biggest liars the greatest storytellers. After this happens to a woman 4 or 5 times rather than her taking responsibility for how easily misled she is she decides to just blame ALL guys. And from then on it's just downhill for both genders. No guy can regain her trust because she's just chosen to distrust. And all guys would be best served just avoiding her altogether but she doesn't come with a warning tag that says " perpetually broken". So she comes in and out of guys lives wreaking havoc seeking some sort of retribution in her head for days past.
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