What makes it difficult to find love nowadays?

[Anonymous]

Hello everyone, my name is Rick and I just wanted to ask you all a question because it has been on my mind for some time now. First, I wanted address the fact that I am on the Autism Spectrum and I'm currently single, been single and virgin for my entire life. I'm only 22 and I recently got rejected by my college crush because she was already seeing somebody. Right now I'm struggling to find someone else but I'm willing to learn exactly what I must do to succeed and I'm willing to put myself out there because I believe that is the way to do it. I'm also studying journalism in college and pursuing a career in copywriting. I'm a very clean, kind, caring, understanding, fit, and fun-loving person. If I can describe my personality, I'd say that I am a huge Breaking Bad fan, video game enthusiast, music enthusiast, and enthusiast of anything related to the arts of movies, games, TV, it doesn't matter. I'm currently a gym goer and I work out hard there, always breaking a sweat and activating BEAST MODE. Gotta know how to carry yourself! I have a loving family and wonderful friends, but the girlfriend thing is definitely something that I've been struggling with because I haven't found the right person yet.

Also I'm a good-looking person and always on top of my physical appearance and dress nicely whenever I go out. Another detail about me is I love helping people and when I have a partner? I'd do everything I can to keep her happy and support with all the love in my heart. So I wanted to ask: Why is it so difficult to find love today? Would any girl find someone like me attractive? I'm sorry if it seems like my confidence is low, I'm just dealing with the pain of that last rejection. Thank you.

[PrettyPriya]

It is only difficult when that is your main priority. I have always found that "love" or someone that you can love finds you when you least expect it. Trying to force a relationship when one is not there is the quickest way to disappointment and this attitude that it is hard to find.

I met my fiancé out of the blue one day... by complete chance. I asked him to lunch and the rest is history. I had been single for two years prior to meeting him. I wasn't concerned about having to find someone right away.

If you want to increase your odds, find a local activity group or club. Maybe you have some at your school. Get involved in something that you enjoy doing. The bonus to that is that you will meet likeminded people that already share an interest.

It is a lot easier to break the ice in that manner than say at a bar or pub. Since you already share some type of interest, it should be easy to strike up a conversation with girls.

[Asker]

I agree and I'm not bitter against anyone for not having someone yet. I'm focused on surviving and finding ways to set myself up for the future. I love your answer and I just wanted to say that I'm happy for you. College clubs and groups are great ways to meet new people, I'll definitely search for things that I can do. The key is to never give up and always strive to improve yourself as much as possible. For me, it's a deep down inside feeling that's there. The determination to succeed and the understanding that comes with the learning process.

[PrettyPriya]

That is very much the right attitude you have. Just be the best version of yourself. Everyone can improve upon themselves. Those that think they can't have the wrong attitude.

I do recommend trying to find some activities to get involved with. Again, the bonus there is that you can meet people with similar interests. Much easier to chat a girl up when you are both doing something that you enjoy. Best of luck to you and don't give up. She is out there somewhere.

[Asker]

I won't give up because that's not a winner attitude. You have to push hard because this world will break your limits again and again. You must be prepared for whatever comes your way. I'm one of those that would never downplay how evil and depraved the world can be. But despite all of that. I find so much joy in being an actually good person. What makes a good person is the heart, real heart and feeling for others around you. That's what I feel. I see people and I want them to be happy. But I'm not a hero and I never will be. But I can be supportive and help if I can. I won't be afraid to be firm too because sometimes you can't be nice about talking about the consequences.

[SeriouslyFunny00]

I think the main problem nowadays, is that most people tend to find a partner based on what they see on social media. It's difficult to find someone serious, and most do not seek meaningful relationships anymore..

Seeing your thoughts here, those are good traits so don't change who you are.. 😊 I'm sure you will find a good match someday, all you have to do is wait for her. Best of luck!

[Avicenna]

You’ll find someone, don’t worry. Compatibility is the more difficult part.

[Asker]

I definitely agree. You have people that claim that they are what they say they are and instead they have five skeletons in their closet. Of course, thinking paranoid is not a healthy quality. But at the same time it is understandable considering the rapidly changing society. We just have to adapt to the best of our abilities and be brave in the eyes of terror. That is what I believe. We have to be brave and be willing to take whatever hand life deals us.

[Avicenna]

I think you're right

[Guy13]

Social Media and the wall it has put between people.

[Guy13]

Who talks snd meets any more these days?

[Asker]

I definitely agree. But I'm not giving up home until I find the right person. I have everything else in place and I continue to get everything together. So that when the time comes? I'll be ready.

[Guy13]

I like real people so try this.

www.meetup.com

[BJP21]

People these days keep seeking an unrealistic relationship girls and guys alike, you can have all the compatibility in the world, and still have it fall apart. People forget the intrinsic value of a meaningful relationship.

[DoctorSex]

Because everyone has a different definition of Love.

Kind regards,
DoctorSex

[VanguardTitan]

Statistically there are some people who will essentially go their entire lives without ever finding love.