Is ghosting a form of emotional abuse or just a valid way to end a relationship?

Question

Is ghosting the best way to end a long / short term relationship or is it a kind of emotional abuse?

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't call it abuse, but it's a pathetic display of character.

There are people that handle you telling them you're not interested maturely and those who handle it immaturely. You can't control how others react. You can control your own actions. And once you've communicated with them your own disinterest, you've done your job.

It's not your problem if they take it badly. But the moral thing to do is not leave people in the dark, making them wonder what could have happened or what they did wrong. The best way is to say clearly what your issue was.

Like... "Hey, I'm just letting you know I don't see us being compatible because you don't seem to be financially stable and at this point in my life, I need that. I wish you the best though and I'm sure you'll find someone for you soon!"

It's not that hard to show a little empathy.

imtiaz45 · Accepted Answer

Ghosting can be viewed from different perspectives. On one hand, it can be seen as a valid way to end a relationship, especially if someone feels uncomfortable or unsafe communicating directly. On the other hand, ghosting can be emotionally damaging, as it leaves the other person in confusion and uncertainty, potentially leading to feelings of rejection and low self-worth.

While it might not always rise to the level of emotional abuse, it can certainly contribute to emotional harm, particularly in more significant relationships. Open communication is generally considered a healthier approach to ending relationships.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/Avt8e_UHJhM

silvermoon84 · Accepted Answer

It’s not really a form of abuse, just a cowardly way to end a relationship, but it also depends (in my opinion) what you consider ghosting.

scenario 1: meet on an app, exchange about 3 or 4 messages and one person stops responding. Not really courteous or polite but not ghosting (admittedly I’m guilty of this).

Scenario 2: go on one or two dates and then stop talking. Sort of ghosting even though technically nobody owes anyone anything (at least not imo…I’ve never done this but I’ve had it done to me and I just move on).

Scenario 3: talk for several weeks and go on three or more dates then stop talking. Definitely ghosting.

I always let guys know I’m not feeling it, but I always give it at least three dates.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

It isn't emotional abuse but when you just don't feel like discussing issues and hurting the other person it feels easier to ghost.. I used to think it was wrong when people had done it to me, but now I kind of see how it just makes things less complicated. I think I ghosted 2 or 3 times, but I learned it is okay to just be blunt with people and they block you themselves which takes the awkwardness away and gets rid of the problem :D

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

Not to end a long term relationship. Its narcissistic and extremely immature. Now I have done this for short term relationships, they knew I didn’t want anything longterm after our first date or before our first date but we decided to do it, in those cases its not. Anything long term and even after a few serious dates when both of you went into it knowing the other person is dating to find the one ghosting is still immature and wrong.

Some people are so bad that even after they have kids with someone they can ghost. This is some protracted idea that resulted from hook-up culture and now a record number people don’t even want kids anymore. We’ve all been to flippant with reproductive organs and relationships. Its kinda sad.

JustinTheGreat · Answer

It really depends on how long the relationship was and the reason for doing it.

I've heard stories where people found out their partner was cheating so they just up and left without a word. I support that. Some people don’t deserve an explanation.

I don’t think ghosting someone you’re in a full blown long term relationship with is common.

Most of the time people will ghost those they aren’t in actual relationships with, just someone they’ve been casually seeing for a short period of time.

foxsquirrell · Answer

It is very cruel and has a strong element of treachery. Unless there is a good reason to abruptly and all contact as if you disappeared from the face of the Earth then I think this is the worst thing you can do after cheating. Actually ghosting might be worse than cheating, not sure which is worse.

If a guy has been nice to you on the whole he does not deserve it! Just face it and tell him in his face that you want to end it.

I have been through a sudden block for apparently no reason after months of communication, and I know how suicidal feels. Its the worse pain ever, and it took me long months to get back to normal.

This is the reason why some guys in extreme cases murder their ex, or commit suicide. So its no joke.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

It's just cowardice. That's it.

Of course it's painful for the other person assuming they cared. Whatever you decide to do they're just going to have to get over it. But the saddest, most pathetic part of the story is really the one who ghosted.

blueonblack22 · Answer

It’s justified when:

the person was violent and/or legitimately threatened to harm you.
the person lied about something major (having kids, STDS, criminal record, etc).
the person stole from you

But if you ghost someone else because you weren’t “feeling it” you really are just a selfish cowardly POS.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

Vanishing  when  there was a relationship is probably the  worst possible way to give a break up , for the one being left. And the most comfortable way for the one leaving. But there has to be a relationship in the first place, meaning that  both parties must agree explicitly that this relationship exists . I'd say it like that

mattthefatbat · Answer

I'd say it's just neglect honestly, and neglecting people can be emotionally abusive. Usually not communicating with someone about why you want to end a relationship doesn't bring closure, it just leaves the other person hanging.

Anonymous · Answer

If the other party doesn’t seem to get the message that it’s over after multiple attempts then I think ghosting would be justified in that case. I still wouldn’t consider it as emotional abuse though

Arkire · Answer

I'd call it abuse. It can be very traumatic for people, especially if they're in a long relationship. People need closure. To purposefully deny that out of a desire to avoid all discomfort is pretty gross.

At that point, just text them and block. At least it's something.

midnightmoon05 · Answer

Abuse would be doing again and again  it’s a cowardly way to end. I have done it my younger years.  one time I felt really bad after going out 4 times and ended with a text message

Anonymous · Answer

It depends how you've been treated through out any relationship. if the one you though was your SO, but they have been cheating on you then, 'ghosting' them is a valid response, after all the SO has shown that they have no regard for your emotional well being, so why should you give a jot for theirs?

genericname85 · Answer

It's an irresponsible way to end a relationship. I see it as a personal fault. I think we should stop over using the word "abuse", cause I feel that's happening at the cost of actual "abuse" victims.

jshm2 · Answer

Neither, it's a crutch for the immature for not having the words and mentality to say "no" and end things like an adult.

RavVid · Answer

It is impolite at best. If you don't to continue what is wrong with saying that? You can ghost afterwards.

Anonymous · Answer

Neither. It's not abuse. Have the time it isn't even malicious. Ambivalent yes. But not malicious. It is a spineless way to handle something and says a lot about a person's lack of character.

LiamJHayden · Answer

It depends. If a guy ghosts a girl because he is afraid of breaking up in person, that is weak and rude. If a girl ghosts a guy because he is violent, then that is just being prudent.

Account · Answer

It is a way of showing the other person how much you care about them. Which is zilch.

avery58 · Answer

Well the silent treatment by itself is defined by psychologists as emotional abuse isn't it?

WhitneySnow · Answer

It’s not a valid way to do anything. You owe the other person some kind of closure.

dragoblack · Answer

It was originally a means to avoid dealing with insecure abusive people, but after it was popularized, people just used it as a cop-out for people that have to put effort into.

Unap0logetic_ · Answer

It’s very immature.. I would block them on everything. Don’t allow them to come back.

Dongie · Answer

It sounds a chickenshit and cruel way to end a relationship. Unless of course the person being spooked is a pyscho.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s a form of emotional abuse. They know what they’re doing.

DrPepper12 · Answer

It's immature shameful and disrespectful. little boys do that, not men.

paledreams · Answer

Sometimes people ghost here when all I said was hello in the DM or PM lol 😆

MrGSpotHer · Answer

Well I've been told i can't just disappear in the forest even if they can't see me it's not right at all even if they wanted to at first

noohair · Answer

It is norman for the social media freak show.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

I watched the 60's cartoon "Casper the Friendly Ghost" as a boy !!!

OddBeMe · Answer

Both prob. But I would argue there’s no ending a relationship without “emotional abuse”.

BadApple69 · Answer

It’s not abuse. It’s what a cowards do…. Run away!

slatyb · Answer

Neither. It's not abusive, just impolite.

Anonymous · Answer

it's a form of cowardice

Nikki1989 · Answer

It depends on context.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It's abuse 99% of the time.

worldscolide · Answer

Abuse? No, cowardice, and disrespectful, yes.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

It's bad manners, for sure.

Pohjolan · Answer

OP never watched the Kill Bill series...

Jennz6 · Answer

Maybe it’s over

TallAnon · Answer

Being rude is not abuse.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

its just extremely cowardish

thatshydork · Answer

Neither.

Iron_Man · Answer

It’s abuse

dudeinohio · Answer

Mentally abusive

Is ghosting a form of emotional abuse or just a valid way to end a relationship?

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