Is it normal for those who cheated and left to come back again?

[Anonymous]

My ex cheated and eventually broke it off with me. He then got together with the girl he cheated on me with. 3 years later, he contacted me again. He was sweet and nice, was even flirty with me. He took me out on a couple of dates, nothing physical ever happened, not even a hug but he was always sweet in his texts (calling me babe, honey and stuff). I asked about his relationship with the girl and he said he’s very happy with her. So why would he be all lovely and sweet to me then after all these years? Is this normal?

Updates

5 mo

Okay he officially ghosted me. It’s been almost a month since he last left me on read and ignored my calls. Seemed like he was acting all nice and sweet to me just so he could get all his stuff back and to get access to my business partners lol

[ohsheeT]

I never really understood this a guy goes out cheats on his girlfriend or his wife

Basically just walks up and leaves

And the guy stays with his new girlfriend until she figures out who he's truly is and she tells him to get out LOL

Will not having any place to go when they were all Mr big shot and everything so they go back to the girlfriend or the wife before he cheats
And he goes back to her because she allowed him to get away with it for a long time until it got caught anyway

And they let the guy back in that's the part I don't understand

He took your heart your soul and you have to understand if he's coming back he has a mission there is a reason and you should not ever give him that reason to come back I don't care if it's because you want to be nice or he's being nice

The man basically used you until he found something new or different and then he just gave you the finger and walked away you can't still love a guy like that I wouldn't think

[Finchie40]

It’s normal for them to come back, but not normal to give them a second chance , Some of my cheating exes tried coming back to me and apologized for their selfish behavior , I accepted their apology and forgave them , but I never forgot. The only time I might take an ex back, is if they didn’t cheat on me but it’ still isn’t guaranteed,

[Asker]

I think it’s definitely okay to forgive them for cheating on you but it doesn’t mean that they can have access to you again

[Finchie40]

Yea once the damage is done it’s done , people that truly love each other , don’t take breaks from each other or need breaks from each other , Only selfish people do that kind of shit. Relationships aren’t hard , Selfish people make them hard

[Asker]

You’re right. Cheaters are selfish anyway

[RageBabe]

It might be, but would you accept them back? Cheating is a big betrayal for me. I'd have a hard time with that; it would break me emotionally for sure and take me a long time to recover.

[Asker]

I thought he changed. We broke up and went our separate ways turns out he only came back to use me for his own gains

[RageBabe]

I'm so sorry, sweetheart. He's such a loser for treating you this way.

[Asker]

Lesson learned. I shouldn’t have fell for his tricks but thanks girl. I hope you have awesome weekend ahead!

[RageBabe]

No problem. You too! Thank you!

[RageBabe]

Thank you for the MHO! 😊

[avery58]

Him "coming back" into your life was your opportunity to tell him to fuck off... shouldn't have entertained him

[Asker]

To be fair, we were still talking from time to time because we had a couple of work projects together. I was secretly hoping that he would come back romantically but I realized how stupid I was…

[avery58]

Don't worry, at least now you know for sure that he's not worth it. Now you can find a real man and be truly happy.

[Asker]

You’re right. Now at least I have the closure to move on. Thank you, and I hope you have a great day!

[LostandFound__x]

Sorry you had to go through that girl. That fact that he cheated on you and got into a relationship with her sounds awful. And the ghosting part is awful too…if it makes you feel any better I also got ghosted by an ex recently after 2 years of no contact. I also played around the idea that he may have changed. Unfortunately they have no respect for us.

[Asker]

Yeah it sucks to be too forgiving sometimes. I guess we think too positively out of bad people, that’s why they keep coming back trying to ruin our peace…

[LostandFound__x]

Yeah but it’s also really hard to turn away someone after a couple of years when you’ve had history with them…

[Asker]

You get it. I’m still wishing that he would come back even though he’s hurt me…

[LostandFound__x]

We’ll both find better because we deserve better

[Asker]

Yes for sure. Sending you love and warmth xx

[LostandFound__x]

You too xx

[KennethNoisewater]

Don’t do it. For your own sake, don’t do it. This isn’t a male or female thing. It’s a cheater thing. Once a cheater, always a cheater. If they thought it was ok to do to you once, I promise, they will do it again. It’s not worth the heartache

[Asker]

Yeah I learned it the hard way. He didn’t cheat on me again but he did use me for his own gains…

[incorrected]

Cheaters tend to keep their options open generally, that's why they cheat... In any case, don't take him back.

[Asker]

That makes sense, I guess they’re just never fulfilled with what they have

[Alwayreckles93]

Seriously some people have no business being I relationships.

[Asker]

Facts. If you can’t be loyal then why bother get into a relationship to begin with right…

[Alwayreckles93]

Absolutely Correct 💯

[ihateTaylorSwift]

of course they come back
because only they know what they do or they can't find nobody else stupid enough to put up with it

[Asker]

Yeah they only ever come back because they want something and not because they’ve actually changed…

[Fireguy17]

I have a been cheated on twice and did not go back either ti. e.

[Asker]

They don’t deserve second chances

[Fireguy17]

nope, you only get 1 chance to screw me over.
I thought long and hard on the second one, but she never came clean or apologized, so while hard to do, I moved on.

[Nikki1989]

Most men don't know when to let go, even if they are cheaters.

[Asker]

Yeah… turned out he was just using me to get access to my business partners. As soon as I introduced them he bailed on me

[EyesOfGod]

Its call rebound your the backup chick if the first didn't work out. Dont fall for that bs.

[Asker]

That’s true, I fell for it last time but never again!

[EyesOfGod]

Good!

[yelir]

Only if they fail to replace you do they come back. NEVER take them back, do better.

[Asker]

I don’t think he was even trying to get me back. He just wanted something from me and used me as a stepping stone then ghosted… I feel so embarrassed

[yelir]

I feel you. I forgave someone and had to learn it the hard way too.

[Asker]

Yeah, some lessons are a pain in the ass to learn haha

[spartan55]

Wow, you are gullible.

[Asker]

Sadly I realized it too late. Love makes you blind lol

[Radiate143]

That's exactly what they do.

[Asker]

I guess I was just too forgiving… (and stupid)

[Radiate143]

Lesson learned. Don't beat yourself up. People like that only look like they're winning. Don't fall for it if it comes up he next time.

[Asker]

I’m still kinda wishing that he would come back… just gotta process my feelings so that I can move on I guess

[nik0102]

From my experience, she didn't find anything better, so she came back

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆🎣

[Asker]

Just needed to rant bcs I was in denial that he was using me lol

[Opinion Owner]

I understand. Been there. But the fact that you understand that is the biggest victory. You're controlling your emotions not letting them control you. Even if it doesn't feel like that. That's half the battle. a lot of women want to buy what he's selling so bad they'd gobble it up and get dropped on her ass again.
That's why I posted 🎣 cause he's fishing. He's got nothing to lose in this. Not because you're not something to lose. You're just not something to lose to him. And since you understand that you're position is strong. Ignore him or play him right back. It's up to you.

[Asker]

Yes I actually only realized that as I was typing down the details for this question… better late than never huh

He definitely was only playing nice with me because I had something that he wanted to further his career… Never thought that he was that kind of person but then again I never thought that he would cheat on me.

Is it wrong for me to feel a bit victorious tho since he still came back bcs he needed me even after he cheated and dumped me 😂

[Opinion Owner]

Life is about surviving. As long as you're still here fighting you're victorious.

[Asker]

You’re right. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.