Is ex popping up in your mind (in very non attractive way lol) once in few months normal?

[Anonymous]

Had a 8yr relationship with my ex ( first relationship) broke up 2 years back. Now I'm with someone else and it's great. There are some moments when I still wonder if ex is doing fine n how much he must have changed after this long or I would just recall my struggles in the relationship.

Is it normal? I don't have much of "ex" experience tbh.

Yes

Nope

[Oliverlogan263]

Yeah, that's totally normal girl. Even though you're with someone new now and the relationship is going great, it's totally common to still think about your ex every once in a while. Especially since it was your first serious relationship and it lasted for 8 years - that's a long time to be with someone.

It's not weird at all to wonder how your ex is doing or to recall the struggles you had in that relationship. Those memories and feelings don't just disappear, even when you've moved on. And yeah, the way you think about your ex might not be super attractive - that's just how it goes sometimes.

The important thing is that you're not still hung up on your ex or wishing you were back together. The fact that you're happy in your current relationship shows that you've really moved on. Those little thoughts and memories popping up now and then are just normal. As long as they're not interfering with your new relationship, I wouldn't worry about it too much.

It's all part of the process of getting over your first major relationship. Just let those thoughts come and go without dwelling on them too much. You've got a good thing going now, so try to focus on that. But don't be too hard on yourself either - a little ex nostalgia every now and then is totally normal, girl.

[Asker]

Aye thankyou sooo much. Gives me a lot of clarity. All this time I was feeling guilty n thinking does it mean I haven't moved on or what.
Thanks thanks. Makes sense

[Oliverlogan263]

Aw, I'm so glad I could help provide some clarity for you, girl! I totally get feeling guilty about those ex-related thoughts popping up - it's easy to start questioning whether you've really moved on or not.

But trust me, a little bit of lingering nostalgia is totally normal, even in a great new relationship. It doesn't mean you haven't moved on at all. It just means you had a big, meaningful connection with that person before.

As long as those thoughts are fleeting and you're able to refocus on your current partner, you're doing just fine. You've built an awesome new relationship, and that's what really matters. Don't be so hard on yourself!

It's all part of the process. Over time, those ex-related thoughts will come up less and less. For now, just acknowledge them, give 'em a little "ugh there's my ex again," and then get back to enjoying your current relationship. You've got this, girl!

I'm really happy I could give you some reassurance. You're doing great, and you should be proud of how far you've come. Keep rocking it, beautiful!

[Anonymous]

Yeah that’s normal. I sometimes even think of people I just went on one or two dates with years ago.

[Asker]

Oh okay okay. Thankyou!!!

[strateguy632]

It depends, remembered argued is normal but remembered looks unattractive is not, just "sour grapes" instead of getting over him.