How can you make a girl want you back after a breakup?

Question

We have two young children (4 and 2) and we broke up about five months ago after constant arguing, no closeness and distancing. Since then, I have done some soul searching and realized that she is the person I want to be with. I told my wife how I feel but she said she wasn't ready and when I tried to reconnect she distanced herself. How can I show her that I have changed and still love her without pushing it too hard?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It sounds like she already checked out my man , you are best to accept it for what it is and move on , You already told her how you feel about her , and she chose not to accept it , so the best thing for you to do is focus on yourself and move on , because all you are doing is hurting yourself by thinking she is going to give you another chance , never be a sitting duck for a girl , I know you love her and want to be with her , but chasing her is going to push her further away from you. So stop chasing her , that’s the best thing for you to do. She is probably already investing her time into someone else , so you are best to do the same thing , I don’t want to get your hopes up because it’s a 50/50 chance , but when you stop chasing a girl and start focusing on yourself and no longer wasting your time on her , she might come chasing you when she realizes you moved on. Most females’ like to be the chasers , so at this point , your best bet is to do that , because right now that’s the only chance you have at possibly getting her back , but don’t bank on it. Pretty much everyone of my ex girlfriends’ have tried getting me back because when we broke up , I walked the other way and focused on myself and started investing my time into other girls’ and acting like my ex no longer existed , not all of them , but most of them showed back up on my doorstep wanting me back , Pretty much putting the ball in my court on whether I wanted her back or not. Most females’ are drawn to a guy that has confidence in himself , that is perfectly ok without her by his side , she will question why he is not chasing her and she might come running back to him when she realizes he is ok without her. Never allow a girl to walk over you my man. You need a girl that gets on her knees for you that treats you like a King not a joker

RichA322 · Accepted Answer

Buddy, don't be a fool.

It won't work, it didn't work the last time, the same Problems the ruined it, will ruin it again. Move on.

Better being a divorced dad that is happy, than being with her and constantly arguing.

Your children will be happier if you are happy too. Don't fall for that believe children will only be happy and become successful adults if you are living together with her.

They will notice your constant arguing (which will appear again after a while) and your constant bad mood. This will effect them negatively And they will think that being unhappy und constant arguing is the normal behavior in a relationship.

It's better for the children if both of you are happy, even if that is with other people.

Don't force yourself back into a relationship that won't work thinking it will be good for the children. Believe me, it won't help. It will make their lives (and your life) worse.

It's over, because you didn't fit together.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

First, give her space. Respect that she needs HER time for whatever soul searching is needed. The universe doesn’t revolve around you and your personal decisions/preferences.

Next, start small, with considerate gestures for your kids.

Lastly, whatever is making her insist on distance is big enough of a deal that she doesn’t want to deal with you, so keep yourself in check. You haven’t revealed what happened to create the rift. It’s probably more than just a few cross words flung at each other in a heated argument, especially if you have children together. Avoid doing anything that will lead to a restraining order or worse.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

if you've already expressed your feelings and she’s not ready to reconnect, it's important to give her space and respect her boundaries. Change is good, but it’s crucial to show it through consistent actions over time rather than just words. Focus on being a supportive co-parent, demonstrating maturity, and working on yourself. If she's still uncertain, pushing too hard may only make things worse. Allow her to see the changes you've made, and let her come to her own conclusion when she’s ready. Time and patience are key respect her journey.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

Respect her boundaries. Contact her once in a while and show her that you really do care, but not too often or you’ll drive her away. In a few months, ask her if you can try again, but not too soon. And unfortunately be prepared to accept disappointment. Sometimes she just doesn’t want to come back. Good luck. Hope you guys can work things out.

AviatorTom · Answer

How you feel is not important, it's how she feels that rules. Best you can do is tell her, sincerely, that you would like to be together. It's then up to her to do something or not. And you must abide by that.

If you stay apart, you will have to resolve how your young children are cared for. They become the most important thing in your, and her, life.

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

Brother seek God and talk to your closest male friend or other support. If you were younger I’d say move on. If you are wealthy, get a lawyer and move on. If you’re an average guy in the age range you posted here, I feel bad for you.

I lost my kids at 4 and 2 in my 20s, I wasted time and money on lawyers. My kids are effectively alienated/gone. Their mother is in a very feminist state, one of the three worst ones for these scenarios.

I didn’t want other kids, I felt like I couldn’t move on and just “replace them”. Unfortunately if being a dad made you happy, move on. Ask her how she wants to share custody ask her to sign documents in the divorce at your lawyers office that ensure a joint custody agreement, but look even that didn’t work with me my ex was insane she pulled all the shit. Its a joke, a complete joke. She even got caught abusing them a few years ago, still nothing. I’m not a felon just a combat wounded vet, still nothing.

What her and the state did was nothing but evil, it can’t be put any other way. If your ex is in her early 20s and she’s showing any sign of wanting to be malicious and use your kids against you to hurt you, you might as well call it quits and start moving on NOW,”.

Cormac995 · Answer

You could ask to go to couples counseling it would show you're taking saving the relationship seriously and you genuinely see your bond improve with one that knows what they're doing. You also need to be honest open and patient stuff like this is very difficult and emotional to deal with nobody hurts you more than the people you love. How did you win her over the first time? What did you do to make her happy and such when you were dating? Is their some kind of gift or something you could get her that would correlate to one of the most important moments in your relationship?

I think if you went to her hat and hand with a gift of flowers or something tell her how you feel and ask to get counseling together, she might be more receptive. Also, when she talks LISTEN, I know that sounds like condescending advice but the amount of people I've met that apparently don't get this is depressing.

lightbulb27 · Answer

if you can communicate how you learned and changed, that helps. She's probably still in fight/flight state, so being vulnerable and letting in is scary.

So lookup how to write an apology letter properly and do that and see how it goes.

Just wanting to be with her is useless... wanting to live so that she feels secure, gets the life she wants and work together, is likely what she wants.

Realize everyone is different and so if there was clashes, then you have to figure out... whom is going to give in in those disagreements and how you will resolve conflict. Ultimately, your job as guy is to find a way to say yes and provide security as much as possible. when you have to stand on a solid ground and oppose, then you do that, but you do it with love.

blueonblack22 · Answer

This is messy given the marriage and kids. I’m sorry you are going through this.

Figuratively speaking it’s a two street or the highway. No in between. She needs to feel a genuine desire to get back together. If she doesn’t it will never work no matter you want it. And that’s something you need to give her space on. If you get too aggressive it can make it worse and push her away.

But anyway sorry you have to deal with this (very hard) ugly truth when have kids with her and already married.

candycane · Answer

I think it's important to accept that everything is in the past in order to rekindle the relationship. If she doesn't want to take you back, being persistent and constantly telling her how you feel will only push her further away. If she's already distanced herself, it shows her that you're not ready to figure things out. It's one thing to show that you've changed, but that depends on whether she's ready or not. You may need to sort out your own life over time and give her space, without forcing it. If she really doesn't want you, it's best to respect that.

butterfly · Answer

The key is showing through actions, not just words, that you've changed. Don't pressure her or rush things; patience is important. Focus on being a good father to your children, as this can make a big difference in her eyes. Demonstrate that you've matured and are ready for a healthy relationship, but give her space and time to process. Be respectful and understanding of her decisions. If there’s still a chance for reconciliation, she’ll come around when she feels ready.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Not sure.. are you sure you two are good for each other and your kids because it's not good to fight all the time especially in front of them. Just keep getting in contact with her and ask to talk about it in person.. but she maybe already fucking someone else so you may have lost her, unless she gets dumped.

Purpleronnie · Answer

You can’t MAKE her do anything and the more pulling you do the more pushing she will do.

All you can offer is that you really want to change for her , you want your relationship to work and not just for your kids and you’re willing to consider anything to make that happen.

Then leave her alone and give her space to consider what she wants.

roninzos · Answer

Do what the killers on Lifetime Movies do... when you go to talk with her for a minute after she's moved on... ask her, "Does your current boyfriend know you're taking Prozac? I think you should tell him. Transparency is best, don't you think?" That'll make her come back to you, for sure. Nobody can resist that!☝️

Miristheiss · Answer

You don't., you move on. I guarantee she is off screwing other men while broken up so the woman you thought you loved is dead anyway. Make your kids and your career, friends you life priority. Quit obsessing over this woman.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Copy paste what you just wrote, send that to her, she needs to know whats going on in your head, that you are genuine but at a loss for how to prove it, and need both advice on what to do, and the opportunity.

SleepingHazard · Answer

You can't. She wants space, so respect that.
Whether she'll want you back after that, is up to her. Chances are she won't, but if you don't respect her boundary now, you'll only make things more difficult.

Ferngully2000 · Answer

I don’t think you can, once people are emotionally detached then that’s it.

Best thing is to be emotionally detach yourself, try to occupy your mind and give her some space and then maybe like you, she’ll realise she missed you.

DizzyDesii · Answer

A guy would have to hit me up within less than 48 hours if we wants to rekindle. After that, i’m on to the next

Kelley1 · Answer

You can't. That ship has sailed. It's best that you move on. There are 100,000 women just like her that you can have.

AManOnTheWeb · Answer

Find a woman that's younger and prettier to date. Jealousy can be powerful.

Iquestioneverything · Answer

The one thing that always bothered me was seeing him with another woman.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Lol, you're not going to be able to with that mindset. It's apparent that you don't understand woman. How many women have you been with b4 your wife?

mobiusforniner · Answer

You let go. You cannot control others. Learn only to control yourself.

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Tell her you are sorry about all the arguing and causing stresses. You won’t do it again. I realized that you are my soul mate. I want to be with you. 😍 I love you

Plugs · Answer

Lol if having children with her didn’t make u care about her , nothing will. Quit the drama

Ifdyourmom · Answer

While I don't condone really trying to get back with ex's, they're ex's for a reason, the main reason women break up with men, is that the feel like you just won't take care of them, and protect them

I. E. look at Michael from GTA v

linka_pat307 · Answer

Apologies and prove to her you are serious now about your relationship

dudeinohio · Answer

Move on  The same issues that caused the breakup will still be there.

noohair · Answer

You can't do anything but be a good person and wait. You can change yourself but you can't change another person. Good Luck.

Anonymous · Answer

Couldn't find a replacement? I hope she is happy.

Anonymous · Answer

Actions speak louder than words unless she acts like a stubborn mule aka total coldhearted bitch than she's not worth it which a lot of women are prone to doing unfortunately

Ariesman81 · Answer

Ignore her and fuck her friend

jshm2 · Answer

You don't. It's her call.

SuperZonicGUY1992 · Answer

If she 18-28 I will date her 😙

ilistengood · Answer

Win the lottery

In_Trance · Answer

You can't

How can you make a girl want you back after a breakup?

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Best things to do after a breakup that can lead to her wanting to be back with you?

How can you make a girl want you back after a breakup?

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Best things to do after a breakup that can lead to her wanting to be back with you?

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