How can I tell if the issues in my relationship are fixable or if it’s time to move on?

Question

I’ve been feeling like my partner and I are constantly arguing about the same issues—things like communication, priorities, and even small habits. Every time we try to resolve it, it either ends in frustration or feels like nothing really changes. I care about them deeply, but I’m starting to wonder if we’re just fundamentally different in ways that can’t be reconciled. How can I figure out whether these challenges are something we can work through together, or if we’re better off apart?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

If you both are having the same arguments over and over then the best thing to do , is to try to understand why the both of you are butting heads instead of blaming each other. Most couples run into this problem in their relationships because most people have a hard time taking accountability for their own actions or behavior , they have a hard time accepting that they are wrong and assume they are always right. Understand you can’t change anyone the only person you can change , is yourself. So if
You love your boyfriend and you want your relationship to last with him , without butting heads like you both are doing , try to listen to what he is saying , instead of preparing for your comeback attack. Most people that Yell and argue are trying to get their partner to listen to them , which sadly isn’t going to work , because yelling just makes other people put their defense walls up , basically preparing themselves to attack back and they are not really listening to the person that is yelling all they hear is some crazy person coming at them. But yelling is pretty much a cry for help , the person yelling is struggling for the other person to hear them and listen to them , and sadly they don’t feel listened to so that’s why they are yelling while the other person is preparing to attack them back. So tlearn to put a stop to that , the best thing for You to start doing is learn not to say the word YOU , most couples that argue always say You did this and you did that , so instead of using the word you , replace it with the word I instead. I understand , I took it the wrong way, I was unaware that upset you. When you start doing that to your partner, it makes your partner feel like you are actually Listening to them instead of trying to attack them. Hope that helps , if it doesn’t then the both of you are best to go your separate ways ways

BadApple69 · Accepted Answer

First off realize that men and woman are different. Way different. Things that are majorly important to you may not be important to him at all. Anything could be worked out if you just sit and talk about it. but first you need to understand what is important to the other person. And if something that is really important to you is not important to him you have to accept that fact. you said that you keep fighting about the same things obviously you both have different opinions on these things and that has to be accepted by both of you. And at this point what is required is compromise.

LilCorgiXx · Accepted Answer

I can understand how frustrating it must be to keep facing the same issues. It sounds like you care deeply about your partner, but you are questioning if these challenges are something you can work through. Sometimes repeated arguments point to deeper needs or values that need aligning. It could help to have an open conversation with your partner about these concerns, and maybe even consider couples counseling to work through the patterns. Ultimately, it’s about figuring out whether you both want to invest the energy into resolving these differences or if it’s time to rethink things.

rosemilk · Accepted Answer

if there is no change happening or no effort to make change happen, then it's over. you don't want to be stuck forever, repeating the same cycle and just having the words "sorry" thrown around with no resolve only for it to happen again

Summeroflove · Answer

Constantly arguing and not communicating is a major problem that says that there isn’t healthy communication as well as when people try to change one another. Some differences are workable if two people are willing while others times it’s

best for people to figure out if they’re compatible and if need be end it on good terms.

Some people are looking for different things out of a relationship. Some people can’t communicate like adults. Some people let the little things bother them and play games expecting someone to read their mind until they blow up. That or you try communicating and they just don’t receive it.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Why do women always feel the need to change whatever man they’re involved with?

You think you aren’t annoying in some ways? Does he constantly put on a drama show about you changing for him?

This is one of the things that makes men either shut down or just start ignoring you because he wants to be somewhere else.

Anonymous · Answer

If you fundamentally love one another and there is a ground swell of good feeling between you (before you open your mouthes) and both wish things were better between you then chances are whatever other problems you have can be resolved using different approaches, processes, and language.
Maybe you just need someone to teach you new thinking, dialogue and whatever other communication.

Cormac995 · Answer

It depends on if you're both willing to work on it. When you hit that point either then you both need to work on the relationship but if they refuse to discuss this and work on it with you than why stay together? Things would only get worse then.

Lisadecker15 · Answer

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trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

You have to be honestly you need to sit down and just straight up say we either need to work this out or end it maybe see a couple councilor if that's what's needed

HungTexan · Answer

You have a lot of relationship questions. Sounds like you need some friendly advice. DM anytime. Just an older guy who’s been there before.

Twalli · Answer

Each of you make a list of issues you have with the other person. Look them over and find out if you actually want to fix any or all of them. If so, you both need to work on fixing your own issues.

Alwayreckles93 · Answer

Well he needs to forget any his mom and put you first.

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you can't tell, then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship, period.

MikeTheBartender · Answer

How long have you been together? If it's less than a year, peace out.

JesseP1nk · Answer

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Ariesman81 · Answer

You are different from each other. Learn how to be understanding rather than argumentative.

lightbulb27 · Answer

Sounds familiar. We got through it. Up to you two.

How can I tell if the issues in my relationship are fixable or if it’s time to move on?

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