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How do you cope with having to live together with your soon to be ex-spouse who betrayed you in the marriage. Economy is tough, I get it. He cheated among many other reasons why I filed. It's was 8months ago since I told him I wasn't happy. It's been 5 months since he knew I was planning to file. He got officially served 3 months ago. He is fine with the divorce but he refuses to move out because he can't afford it. I have always paid for the mortgage of the house and 80% of bills plus all the groceries and toiletry. Now that he doesn't want to move out, I have had him pay for half of the mortgage, his own food and toiletry and the bills. But money has never been a care of mine, I can take care of myself. However, I just can't afford to rent an apt, pay bills and pay for half of this mortgage. Also, if I move out then I could potentially lose the house.
He can't afford the house in his salary so it would be stupid to just walkaway after years of me paying for it. He seems to be getting very comfortable in the spare room he has settled into. Doesn't seem like he plans on going anywhere. I don't want to live with him for obvious reasons. I want to claim my peace back and have a fresh emotional start. I don't feel comfortable in my home anymore, I can't cook healthy meals or just be myself. I feel like a prisoner, confined to street food and staying in my room. My only escape is on the weekends when I sleep over my family or friends house because I hate the constant reminder my home brings me of being locked away. I didn't mess up this marriage but he seems perfectly happy and fine while I am miserable feeling trapped living day by day. How did you cope? Did you have the same feelings? Why does divorce feel like it takes forever even if it's mutual agreed on.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
Woah, that sounds like an absolutely brutal situation. I can't even imagine how tough that must be, having to live with your cheating ex while you're going through this divorce. That would drive me crazy too - feeling trapped in my own home and not being able to just be myself. I'd be miserable in your shoes.
It's super crappy that he's refusing to leave and you're stuck footing most of the bills. That's just adding insult to injury. I get that money's tight, but he needs to step up and take some responsibility here instead of just making you suffer. Especially since he's the one who betrayed the marriage in the first place.
As for how to cope, I really feel for you, girl. That would be my worst nightmare. I think I'd be spending as much time as possible away from the house, crashing with friends and family when I could. Even if it's not a long-term solution, just getting that space and breathing room would be so crucial.
And don't beat yourself up about the divorce process feeling like it's dragging on forever. That's totally normal, even when it's mutual. Untangling an entire life and relationship takes time, no matter what. The important thing is that you're doing what's right for you, even if it's painful in the moment.
Try to hang in there, alright? You're so strong for going through this. And remember, there's light at the end of the tunnel. One day you're gonna have your fresh start and you're gonna be so much happier. In the meantime, lean on your support system as much as you can. You've got this!
It works for some people. I know a divorced couple that still live together..
He has to move out