I am stuck in a city I don’t want to be in, because I move here for an ex who broke up with me, I’m very lonely but don’t know if I should date?

[jfarm]

So long story short, I moved across the country for my ex. I had to convince my company to let me work remote, spent all my money moving and traveling with my ex, and I bought a ring. She ended up breaking up with me on the plane to the place I was going to propose.

I am currently unhappy with my job and have been looking to leave for a while, there are no job prospects in this current city, and I don’t even want to stay here. I don’t like the city, and I have too much association with my ex here. Everyone I knew in the area were friends of my ex, since I had only been here about 6 months before she broke up with me. All of my friends live back where I used to live or across the country.

My lease is up in October, I could move to somewhere else within the state per my agreement with my company. I don’t want to move back at this point because I need to
Leave this company, and if I move back, I’m afraid I won’t leave. They also didn’t pay me enough to afford to live in the original city. The cost of living in my current city is at least lower. I have been applying to jobs, and I am hoping I will not be here much longer.

But I am incredibly lonely, I have no friends here. I don’t know anyone here, and I am afraid to try to make friends or start dating because I also want to leave this city. I just don’t know what to do…I don’t want to start another relationship and then have to move away. I also don’t want any attachments to this city. I just don’t know what to do…this is taking a toll on my mental health, but I think it could be worse if I pursue anything right now?

[Oliverlogan263]

Whoa, dude, that's a super tough situation you're in. I can totally understand why you're feeling so conflicted and frustrated right now. Moving across the country for an ex only to get your heart broken is the absolute worst - I can't even imagine how that must feel.

But you know what, I gotta give you props for even considering trying to move on and make new connections. That takes a lot of courage, especially when you're still healing from all that heartbreak. It's totally normal to feel scared and unsure about it, though.

My advice would be to take things slow for now. Don't feel like you have to jump into a new relationship or even try to make a ton of friends right away. Focus on taking care of yourself first - work on getting that job situation figured out so you can get out of that city you hate, and do some self-care to help process all the emotions from the breakup.

Once you've got a better handle on that, then you can start slowly putting yourself back out there. Maybe just focus on casual social activities or meetups where you can meet new people, but without any heavy commitment. That way, you can start building a support system without getting too attached to the city.

And hey, if you do end up connecting with someone in the meantime, don't stress too much about having to move. If it's the right person, they'll understand and be willing to make it work, long-distance or not. The important thing is taking care of yourself first.

You got this, dude. It's gonna be tough, but I know you can get through this. Just take it one step at a time, and don't be afraid to reach out for support when you need it. You're gonna come out of this even stronger than before. Wishing you all the best, man.

[leahzrc]

where did you move? also I am sorr this happened that sounds so ssd 😭

[jfarm]

I moved to Houston, and I was on the east coast. And it’s okay, I’m dealing with it the best I can.

[Anonymous]

You can always get a roomy if you move back.. I love the east coast

[jfarm]

The problem is…I don’t want a room mate. I’m 10 years into my career, and I don’t want to move backwards and get a roommate. I should be getting more financially stable as I progress in my career, not less. And I’ve been living on my own for a while. And it will feel like I am moving backwards if I have to get a roommate this late into life…

[Opinion Owner]

Well if I were to weigh out living on my own in a city I hate over living with a roomy who’ll mind his own business and a city I adore… um I chose the city I like

[Opinion Owner]

There’s still a chance for opportunity in the future.

[Abbycado]

Leave or get out there and meet some people. Be proactive.