What did heartbreak teach you that happiness never could?

Question

I gave him my love, my heart, my soul… and he tried to break me. But he only taught me a lesson... I became a Phoenix... I rose... i survived. I learned to love myself.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

Many things. From knowing  how to use kleenex  to... More complicated life concepts... First heartbreak taught me that  people can leave me abruptly, without any apparent reason , it wasn't very reassuring lol. Maybe it told me something about freedom and randomness of life? Second heartbreak taught me to be more cautious about who I fall for, daydreaming okay, but  evaluating the reality of people  is a very good idea too. Lesson not learned though because... Third heartbreak was the first to truly devastate me, this is where I have seen this relentless pain of absence in me. This is the phœnix type, yes, it transformed me into... What? That's a very good question. Did I learn to love myself? I can't say that,  I learned to see life in a much more relative scale, me, life, people, the cosmos  lol. It was trippy and I wasn't drugged I swear. This trippy vision remained within me, to this day.  Fourth heartbreak was more peaceful, it taught me to not apply reason nonsensically with people, I'm not a machine,  I can't aim at controlling myself like a bot , even if I wished for it. Back then. Fifth heartbreak was another devastating one, several months of hardship, recovering properly took ages my god lol, I was brought on my knees, again, by expectations soooo grand.  So did I ever learn anything at all?  It was also the first time I initially denied myself recovery during mourning phase, a scary approach to grieving I don't recommend lol.  But I got out of this unhealthy view. I accepted, again, devastation within, instead of fighting it for stupid reasons. And then, there was still love to find after the apocalypse, and that's my most recent lesson. There's always love somewhere, there's always someone unexpected in a crowd,  there's always someone with whom sharing absurdity of this universe . There's a pattern I see and it's a comforting sensation. I'm deeply in love currently.  Until the next heartbreak? Pleaaaaaaaase , not again! 😂

Phoenix98 · Accepted Answer

I didn't really learn anything from heartbreak to me it was just a whatever kind of thing it didn't work out, o well.

No I learned my lessons from the cruelty and brutality of the world. Growing up in a dangerous neighborhood, being bullied, getting jumped on the streets, overcoming adversity and obstacles, becoming stronger, almost dying myself, my best friend who I treated like a little brother who died, being someone's dirty little secret a plaything they used until something better came along. To name a few things.

Those taught me far more valuable lessons then heartbreak every did. Heartbreak ultimately doesn't leave a lasting impression on you that sticks with you for the rest of your life. It's ultimately meaningless and not worth fixating on.

Pearl222 · Accepted Answer

That sometimes even when you are honest and have pure intentions, you can never really tell what the other person feels and that actually loving someone requires courage and accountability. Also, that ultimately everyone ends up leaving so it’s better to focus on yourself and trust God.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

To limit the sad time because it will make you look old way faster! I wish I knew so that every time I would cry I would stop it as soon as it started and tried to be happy because believe it or not, looking old is what most humans do NOT want.

DishLady · Answer

Not to trust so easily.

TheoreticallyGreat · Answer

"Do you wish to return to where you cannot see", he asked.
"No.", she said.
"Then live. And let your failures be a part of you."
Oathbringer, Brandon Sanderson
Heartbreak has taught me most of who I want to be, and to choose those who desire to be with me

mobiusforniner · Answer

I learned in my last heartbreak, that love is truly letting go of what is wanted. When we let go- that is, release our expectations, controls or desires from people or things - and we do so for the greater good, then we've achieved love in its most divine form.

TCredo · Answer

Your description for the question is powerfully written. Heartbreak has made me stronger and smarter. It's a reminder to enjoy the splendor of life which sometimes gets taken for grant during happiness.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Don't be sad miss phoenix, i know how much it hurts but he never deserved someone like you, be happy because god might want you to find someone like you , someone who is willing to give you the same, if not more 😌

FreyaRed · Answer

I'm heartbreaker maybe this gives me heartbreak immunity. On the other hand my psychopathic mother broke my heart so many times. It became hardened, no man can even scratch it.

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

To never get overly attached to people or assume you can always count on them no matter what.

People disappoint. A lot. And a lot of people abandon you when they feel they have no use for you anymore.

katiesmuff · Answer

I think most of us have gone through heartbreak and always a good thing when one like you can rise up and learn that you are about you. Feel so bad for those who just seem to not be able to make that jump.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You can't build an emotional connection with people who are emotionally disconnected from themselves.

WhiteThought · Answer

It taught me to never be what a woman wants me to be.

Shiprex · Answer

Heartbreak gave me the sense to make sure I get to have needs and expectations of others.

Keihan · Answer

I'm 58 and after two divorces, betrayed both times, I found I am quite happy with myself and being with myself. I am more focused on me and my daughters now... and my klingy cat!

glennos89 · Answer

It reached me that love can be dangerous to my heath because heartbreak causes me to self destruct. Knowing the dangers that comes with love I became very careful who to give my heart to

biraileeşkadını · Answer

When you are happy, somehow sadness follows. It's a strange thing. Even in our ashes, there is grudges. They couldn't end it despite tearing us apart.

McSteamy · Answer

Never ever share your emotions with people even when they're closer to you

BarryLiverstone · Answer

My Faith is strong. That when it feels like I’m so lost and hurt, God is always there.

leahzrc · Answer

Taught me Jesus loves me more than any guy. Men use me to better themselves and then blame me for the issues that come along

ManOnFire · Answer

People tend to be more in love with a fantasy about you and not actually in love with you.

DonaldDarko · Answer

I don't know to be honest other than just pain and maturity.

HusamRocks · Answer

Of course it could happen, you only need someone loyal and considerate and of course mature 👍🏻

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

It taught me that my stupid fucking feelings does not matter.

ChiTown33 · Answer

"Love is a dung pile and I am but the cock that climbs upon it to crow" -Archibald Cunningham (from the movie Rob Roy)🤣

es20490446e · Answer

That every negative emotion is positive in the right amount. Than instead of avoiding to express it, you shall express it in the right amount.

exitseven · Answer

Nietzsche was right. "What does not kill us will make us stronger."

SotiCoto · Answer

That people are fundamentally different and don't communicate their individual desires well.

Anonymous · Answer

All I had was the heartbreak, several times, multiple-fractures of the heart. Happiness... when it comes to love - I really never had it :(

qwerty2469 · Answer

That misery loves company, and that when going through Hell, dont stop to admire the scenery, get the Hell out of there.

Pterodon · Answer

That I can survive heartbreak as painful and damaging as it is

sage2021 · Answer

Heartbreak 💔 hurts like hell!!

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

It taught me that everybody can't be trusted and that my trust should be earned never given

Anonymous · Answer

What heartbreak taught me at a young age:  "Never lose your head over a piece of tail" and  "Women are like subway trains; there's another one every 15 minutes"

Anonymous · Answer

Don't trust anyone and it's better to be alone than hurt by anyone

TadBehaya · Answer

to not neglect my gut instincts

abbyjgriffin98 · Answer

You can't win them all.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Pretty much what it taught you

alice55 · Answer

I never had one so I can't say.

WonderingManII · Answer

It taught me that some women are bitches.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

That happiness (with an other) is fleeting.

RHK36 · Answer

People will ultimately do whatever they want to do

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Life is not a romcom.

AydenHazor · Answer

I learned to value myself, that I deserve better

Flower7 · Answer

Relationships are usually a waste of time.

nawtee_me · Answer

How to forgive…..

Quetaismymiddlename · Answer

That there’s other fish in the sea.

Anonymous · Answer

I found out exactly what i don't want in a man

FenixG45 · Answer

Same. After many years of CBT, meds and recovery.

Jennz6 · Answer

Same as you

Abbiii · Answer

Yeaaa

What did heartbreak teach you that happiness never could?

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