Ghosted my situationship now he is going crazy?

[Anonymous]

So I was seeing this guy for about 3 months, things were going fine we’ve been spending 4-5 days together and every weekend since.

He intially asked me out maybe 4 weeks in, I thought it was super early so I sorta said we still need to get to know each other but I wasn’t entertaining other people or anything of that sort. Then maybe another 4 weeks later I felt like I knew him enough + feelings grew so I put it on the table as ‘if you were to ask me out now I would say yes’. I assumed he would go for it but no. It also happens that I also have a 3 week vacation coming up so recently whilst drunk I brought it up again as to why he is withholding. He said something along the lines ‘well let’s just see after your vacation’. He also has been acting sort of cocky and commanding since I first asked him.

Obviously, I don’t know for sure what is going through his head but I do know that that wasn’t a ‘yes’. And then to top the cake the other time we were hanging out I could swear I saw a dating app notification pop up. We met on one and HE HIMSELF insisted we pause them but we had a small falling out like 3 weeks ago during which he said he unpaused so I assumed he repaused them but I guess not..

Anyway, so not going to win any awards for maturity here but after thinking about it lots I decided to just leave. I didn’t bother with another convo about our status because I knew he’d deflect. So I did ghost (super unusual for me but I figured he would try to reel me in). Now it has been a few days and he is going crazy. I can tell he is stalking me online + not sleeping + trying to reach out. And I don’t mean to my face, I mean in private. He has left himself logged into my laptop so I see his search history and he is literally waking up at night to stalk my profile.

Genuine question but what the hell did he want or expect from me?

[ProbablyClueless]

It sounds like when you expressed your interest, he assumed he had more staying power than he actually did. I recently had a lady make the same mistake. People who make a point of telling you how replaceable you are, are often surprised by how replaceable they themselves are. I'm not too sure why.

The only thing I'll say, as a guy who has been blocked before; sometimes the "stalking" isn't so much about keeping tabs on you, as it is trying to get some insight about what happened. Like he might not want you back. He might just be wondering what changed that you went from wanting to date him to not wanting to talk with him anymore.

[Asker]

Right that’s baffling to me. 2-3 months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. How do some of them assume they have it like that? Most of the reason I even put dating back on the table is because he asked so once I knew him better I figured I don’t wanna gatekeep and make him think I’m seeing others or whatever. It’s crazy that he thought it was his cue to turn evil and power trip.

Mind me asking how long you were seeing that woman for?

[ProbablyClueless]

Grace and I were entangled for about 6 months. I would say there was only an actual romantic element for about 2 months.

[Clear_Skies10]

He wanted you, then you rejected him, then you wanted him, then he rejected you. Then you ghosted him, then he stalked you online, while you're also watching his every move he makes to see his reactions. This "Situationship" is all kinds of toxic. You both need to stop with the games and have a serious conversation about what you want. Then decide if you're gonna date, or stay friends, or go your separate ways.

[Anonymous]

Stop with the situationship crap. That's a word 8 year olds use.

[Ascendant_Bias69]

Honestly, you should block him. You don't owe him an explanation, and he sounds very possessive, despite him hypocritically being on those dating apps. He's not worth any more energy

[In_Trance]

This is a fucking gong Show

[QuietRunner]

Not sure

Maybe the bear is crazy

[Paige90]

I don't know