All my boyfriends friends cheat on their girlfriends

[taurene]

..should I be worried? He says he would never do that to me, but a cheater would never straight out tell a girl he's cheating. He tells me he's neutral to people who cheat he doesn't think it's wrong or right. He just doesn't care. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now. We've had some issues because he's flirted with a few girls before in our relationship and I've caught him on a dating site (with no activity on it though, no messages. Not even a picture. And this was our first month together..over 2 years ago). He's never actually ever cheated on me to my knowledge. But do you think I'm wasting my time being with a guy like this? The only way his friends know how to have a good time is party and hang out with girls so I get nervous letting him hang out with his friends. He gets jealous of me very easily and I don't have any guys friends, just the boyfriends my girlfriends go out with. When I hang out with my friends we don't go clubbing.. I don't know. I'm very confused about this.

[Darkfairie17]

His neutral attitude towards cheating concerns me. Maybe it's just my opinion, but I think cheating is wrong. If they want out of the relationship, or are mad, it's not an excuse. Leave, get out, don't look back and then they can date and sleep with whoever they want. Don't drag me through the mud and then ask me forgiveness only to do it again. Not saying everyone does it again, some people don't, but with his neutral attitude, what is keeping him from not wanting to cheat? There has to be some motivation either way.

Also, his reaction to his friend's cheating is also an area of concern. His friend cheated, got another girl pregnant and then gave his girlfriend and STD? How is that acceptable? It's a cowardly thing for his friend to do in my opinion, and completely disrespectful to his girlfriend.

I definitely think you need to have a talk with this guy. Set some boundaries, if he thinks it is okay to cheat, and that you should be okay with it, then you need to get out. I would be suspicious too. I realize that you can have friends that do things that you would never do, but his neutral attitude towards it really does concern me. It just shows that in his mind he can somehow justify it, so I would be wary.

If he gets jealous that you go out to clubs or have guy friends, then I think he is placing a double standard on you as well. How is he allowed to go out to clubs where there are girls, and chat with girls and stuff and that is okay? But it's not okay for you to talk to guys? I would honestly get out if I were you.

[Eiffelgirl21]

Well,his sign of jealousy is good in a way, to me.

-It shows that he doesn't want to lose you..and loves you.>>to me

I would not like the fact that he hangs out with his friends who only

party and hang out with girls...nor the fact that he doesn't have an opinion

on cheaters...However, he could just be saying that because he doesn't want

to talk bad about his friends or accept the fact that they are a**holes.

I would be a little worried...but, it is normal/natural to worry. You have been

with him for 3 years now, so you must be somewhat close to each other, yes?

Why not talk to him about it? All these feelings are legit. If it were me, I would

tell him that I don't like it and it makes me uneasy when he hangs out with

his cheating friends...Also, your boyfriend is clearly not single, so he shouldn't be acting single.

If the talk does nothing, start doing what he does..to make him feel what you feel.

best wishes xx

[Skittles_lover]

I had a similar situation like this awhile back. My ex was jealous easily too and very possessive...come to find out it was because he was cheating. He had similar friends like your boyfriend who was always with girls, at parties, and said all of his friends cheat on their girlfriend. I personally think birds of a feather flock together so just be cautious. And it would also bother me to know that my boyfriend sees cheating as a neutral thing, I would feel more at ease to know he knew and felt cheating was wrong. So yeah just be cautious to be on the safe side.

[taurene]

How did you find out?

[Eiffelgirl21]

jealousy is not a sign of cheating, major possessiveness however, can be.

[dtaijo174]

Frankly speaking, you need to be extremely cautious. Guys like this group up to help each other score. I dumped all my guy friends that were like this once I started getting serious with my girlfriend. They would pressure me to cheat or at a minimum flirt/distract the other girl so they could score with the friend. Either way, that's not fair to my gf.

Send your girlfriends to the bar to watch what happens.

[stubbsy]

You should remain catious of a guy who thinks its not wrong to cheat regardless of him wanting to or not, because if the right morals about cheating are not there, then he has a very low opinion on loyal people to, because the way forward in any relationship is to establish your morals and prove your loyalty to your partner, if they can't do this then I believe there will be possibilities of infedelity later on,x

[taurene]

yea it makes me worried because his best friend has been with this girl for a year and has already cheated on her with 15 girls. Got one of the girls pregnant, and gave the girlfriend and STD. I told him I was concerned because I would never want to wake up one day and realize my boyfriend gave me an STD. That would be devastating. So I asked him if he thought this behavior was OK and he just said he was neutral to it... I felt so sick :/

[stubbsy]

Your reaction is probably shared with most girls who got that reply, because most people look upon cheating as sick, its a betrayal from the weak, and un talented, so for anyone to express a neutral opinion, is expressing the attraction of the possibilty, so you should look at his feelings for you because he should only have eyes for you, cheating is the lowest act a person can do, and if they thought it was OK to do, then why do all cheats lie about it, stay safe,x

[taurene]

I know, cheating is seriously one of the lowest things you can do to a person. I don't know why people don't have the balls to leave someone if theyre going to screw around with someone else. Its seriously a mental illness.

[stubbsy]

Its just a level of maturity, people who cheat have not yet matured to the level where morals are something essential in the grown up world, without them, your worthless,x

[puzzled2000]

I am very impressed by your answer,stubby. To actually hear a guy answer with such wisdom .Keep it up! THE WAY FoRWARD IN ANY RELATIONSHIP IS TO ESTABLISH YOUR MORALS and those who cheat have LOW OPINION ON LOYAL PEOPLE. I will always remember what you have said today to remind myself to be a loyal mate.Thanks!

[stubbsy]

I am pleased it made an impression, and for anyone to want to be, whether it be a better man or woman, is a path only those who know what a true committment is about. Loyalty is a true talent, expressing it loudly through our actions, is an act only a few can and will maintain, I hope your desires turn up,x

[Zuzio]

Im going through a very very similar situation to yours. He to said he believes that what his friends are doing is wrong but that he also doesn't see it as completely wrong. He told me he feels that his morals are different from his friends that he wouldn't want to hurt someone by cheating like that. Im glad he said that but just like you hearing that he doesn't see what his friends do as something wrong is really scary. I dont want to judge him to harshly on this , im just a very insecure person and i dont want my imagination to run wild from something this minor.

[Rashad]

You need to be cautious. However, it is very possible that he doesn't cheat on you. It really depends on his personality. All of my friends are promiscuous but I'm not. I just can't do it. So it depends. How many relationships has he been in?

[taurene]

Im his second serious relationship, he was cheated on in his first relationship. The girl slept with a lot of guys and then dated another one on the side.

[kheserthorpe]

Seriously, if you two want to make it work, you both need to find some new friends, together.

[taurene]

He would never leave his best friend. I can't make him choose, he's been friends with this guy since he was 13. How do I tell him to leave his friend without looking like a psycho controlling girlfriend?

[kheserthorpe]

You don't. He'd have to choose to.

How old are you two? Working, school?

[taurene]

Im 22, working for now, then finishing my bachelor's degree next year in Bio/Chem. He's 21, working full time as a marine technician and he wants me to help him start a business on the side doing the marine work as his assistant. But sometimes when we fight he tells me he needs someone to be by his side who won't give him a hard time so he can have the freedom to work as he wants and not be held back. But I really just mind my own business most of the time. We live together too and share a car

[taurene]

The car is under my name and I pay for it, and he pays the rent where we live. I mean I don't want to be crazy and suspicious I don't think he would do it. But his answer concerned me a little bit. I just really don't like his friends and he knows it so he doesn't really hang out with them that much. But there has been times lately when we fought and he just left to go with them. He always came back early though and one time had me pick him up and he left his friends. Idk.

[WeaponZero]

Birds of a feather...