How do I react to him admitting to almost cheating on me?

[Confusedgirl]

My boyfriend who I have a baby with, I recently found out he was going to cheat. I saw a picture of a girl in his his cell phone ( 3 pictures ). An he admitted to me that he thought about cheating on me with her. He works with this girl. An he said that we have been arguing a lot lately and he wanted to escape. But he never would tell me that something was wrong I figured something was wrong, I kept asking are you happy, are you ok, he would reply with I am fine of course I am happy. He told me that they only talked at work but I found her number in his recent calls when I found the picture, and he said no that it was work related. I don't know what to do I have a baby with him and he is begging me to stay (crying). The thing that sucks I work at the same place I am about to go back to work ( maternity leave) and everyone has been seeing them spending together, and I look stupid. I go up there with the baby smiling and proud of being with him, and they are thinking you are so stupid he doesn't love you. I just can't believe he wants to be with someone else, I know we have problems but not that bad , I have never thought about cheating on him just because things get a little hard. I am just so STEAMED. I don't believe him I think he did something with her nothing making sense. HELP I don't know what to do?

[Kickrockslosers]

Don't ever allow any man2make a fool out of you! This is serious&I can understand your issue with working with these people. Your childs father&the girl he considered cheating with. He's sleeping where he poops, not so smart. I'm sure he didn't consider his child&you when he was getting those pics.

I don't believe the whole 'wanting2escape so he considered cheating as an escape' excuse. If it smells like shit, then it's probably bull-shit! The only reason he's copping2 'thinking about it' is because he got busted. He's probably so grateful that you didn't catch him in the act that he just said he 'thought about it.'

I remember when my co-worker told me that this girl kept calling my fiance. I just asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell me. He told me that the girl was stalking him, which is what my co-worker told me. We all worked together, but I didn't know her at all until my co-worker pointed her out to me. Sometime w/in the next few weeks I was shopping at some store after taking a wrong turn&saw her. I approached the girl who was with her child&asked her if she worked for (alias) ABC Company&verified her name. She told me yes. I asked her if she knew (John Doe LOL) him. I stepped up real close to her&told her2cover her daughters ears. She did. I whispered that if I caught her hanging around him again, that I would cut her up&mail the pieces to her family.

Later that evening, my fiance&I had a conversation while I was slicing the fat off of our pork-chops while preparing dinner. I simply explained2him that if I ever found out that he cheated on me that I wouldn't know what2do. (Slice) Yes, I behaved like a calm quiet psycho woman while I made my threats, but I got my point accross2both of them. She quit the next day& if he ever did cheat on me he sure didn't leave any evidence LOL.

Now I know this may sound harsh,childish&dangerous, but as I said "We all had an understanding" that I was out of my f'n mind. Sometimes that's just enough2 put things in perspective. I'm not advocating threats of violence. If he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat, take chances&do dumb shit like saving pictures in his phone, sending text messages&having new female friends on myspace/facebook.

It really bothers me that your childs father was so careless and disrespectful as to even think about dealing with someone where you both work. You should ask him what stopped him from cheating while you slice some steak&then you should explain to him that you have responsibilities together as a family. You are both just starting your lives&you should learn who he really is before you proceed further. If he's a cheater, get rid of him you are young enough2start over. Here are some things you should get started now for your child.

1. Tell your father what happened so he can talk to him about being a man, a father and a husband.

2. File for child support. You never know since he's so immature when or if he's going to be there4you.

3. Go to college

[sweetvalle03]

Ok this will spund funny, but my huband went through the same thing! we had been together for 3 years when we had our first son together and he was using myspace to meet girls and their was one girl in particular at WORK who he was talking to an awful lot. and it turned out that yes he came close to cheating but never did, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt that he thought about it, the reason he may be acting like this is because if this is your first baby together then of course your arguing, you both have different parenting styles and that sort of thing, it;ll pass, as for the women, pull her aside at work and tell her that you don't appreciate the fact that she's doing what she is doing maybe their is more to the story, then all he's telling you, maybe she was pursuing her or visa versa, but don't get all possessive on him, let him do whatever, if he sees you pushing, he'll go further as rebelling. Whatever happens, don't expect the fighting to stop he really hurt you especially after having a baby, it's ridiculous, give him a chance and find out from the other girl what happened if he really wants to work it out good, if he messes up again screw him he isn't worth it I bet if he does leave for this girl he'll regret it then come home. just be patient, it takes a while, it still hurts me what my husband did to this day, and now that I'm pregnant again I worry but if he screws up hell, child support and a man worth while.

[rocket]

Oh shit, that is hard! I wouldn't run so fast though because at least he's finally being honest and showing some emotion which means he's not ready to end it and may try very hard to make it work. If you stay with him and he pulls this crap again (or similar) down the road, then you know he'll never stop, you'll never be able to trust him and you should probably leave him. But, now that there is a baby involved, you've got to do the right thing for your child. And a child deserves a chance at a family, if at all possible.

[Seenthatmovietoo]

Tough situation you've gotten yourself into by having the baby without a wedding ring. Did that occur to you? The problem that you describe is EXACTLY why people get married. But certainly your Mom or girlfriends have shared this with you by now.

The fact that you haven't thought about straying is completely irrelevant. It's not how girls, especially Mom's, behave. Now you have a child alone and a huge amount of responsibilities for the next 20+ years. If this joker isn't TOTALLY committed to being there for you for the next 20 years then your problem is larger than just who is on his recent call list. As just a boyfriend he can do anything he wants and call anyone he wants and screw pretty much anyone he wants. If you want to stop that behavior then you're going to need to address more fundemental issues ASAP.

Good luck with all of this.

[LonelyEmperor]

Talk to that girl, find out the truth and then you have two options:

1-he said the true, nothing happened (you found the picture just in time)

have a nice conversation with him, ask him to talk to you when he have problems and not try to 'escape' and forgive him (if he feels sorry too)

2-he was lying and he was cheating on you

have a conversation with him (this time a VERY LONG CONVERSATION) and try to figure out if he feels sorry and really loves you, if you think he does, try to forgive him, he deserves a second chance, if you think he doesn't feel sorry/will try to cheat on you again, just leave him, he doesn't deserve you, but remember, you guys have a kid, so think a lot about it.

Anyways, you always have the option to kick his balls and leave him

[loveAnsweringOldQS]

Don't ever allow any man2make a fool out of you! This is serious&I can understand your issue with working with these people. Your childs father&the girl he considered cheating with. He's sleeping where he poops, not so smart. I'm sure he didn't consider his child&you when he was getting those pics.

I don't believe the whole 'wanting2escape so he considered cheating as an escape' excuse. If it smells like shit, then it's probably bull-shit! The only reason he's copping2 'thinking about it' is because he got busted. He's probably so grateful that you didn't catch him in the act that he just said he 'thought about it.'

I remember when my co-worker told me that this girl kept calling my fiance. I just asked him if there was anything he wanted to tell me. He told me that the girl was stalking him, which is what my co-worker told me. We all worked together, but I didn't know her at all until my co-worker pointed her out to me. Sometime w/in the next few weeks I was shopping at some store after taking a wrong turn&saw her. I approached the girl who was with her child&asked her if she worked for (alias) ABC Company&verified her name. She told me yes. I asked her if she knew (John Doe LOL) him. I stepped up real close to her&told her2cover her daughters ears. She did. I whispered that if I caught her hanging around him again, that I would cut her up&mail the pieces to her family.

Later that evening, my fiance&I had a conversation while I was slicing the fat off of our pork-chops while preparing dinner. I simply explained2him that if I ever found out that he cheated on me that I wouldn't know what2do. (Slice) Yes, I behaved like a calm quiet psycho woman while I made my threats, but I got my point accross2both of them. She quit the next day& if he ever did cheat on me he sure didn't leave any evidence LOL.

Now I know this may sound harsh, childish&dangerous, but as I said "We all had an understanding" that I was out of my f'n mind. Sometimes that's just enough2 put things in perspective. I'm not advocating threats of violence. If he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat, take chances&do dumb shit like saving pictures in his phone, sending text messages&having new female friends on MySpace/facebook.

It really bothers me that your childs father was so careless and disrespectful as to even think about dealing with someone where you both work. You should ask him what stopped him from cheating while you slice some steak&then you should explain to him that you have responsibilities together as a family. You are both just starting your lives&you should learn who he really is before you proceed further. If he's a cheater, get rid of him you are young enough2start over. Here are some things you should get started now for your child.

1. Tell your father what happened so he can talk to him about being a man, a father and a husband.

2. File for child support. You never know since he's so immature when or if he's going to be there4you.

3. Go to college

[sfcswede]

Sounds like simple flirting...and if he's begging he most likely realizes he made a huge error and jeopardized everything. Sit his ass down and tell him the rules. and see if you guys can rebuild the trust. It will take a while, trust me on that. And he'll have to be totally honest and open with you. No locking of the cell phone and hidden passwords. But you can do it. Give the guy another chance if you love him and think he's being honest....worse case scenario...later down the road you have leverage for support and custody.

[Anonymous]

Id say try finding out the truth. Talk to the girl that he has supposedly been flirting with. Recent calls is just that you don't know what they talked about or for how long do you? Sounds like there was a trust issue to begin with if he's saying yes to you for everything being alright and yet you go through his cell phone. Ending the relationship would also be a bad idea at the current time also just for the simple fact that both of you work at the same place. I can guarantee that if he was begging you to stay and you end it now he will be dating the girl in question just out of spite to you within the week if he didn't cheat on you. Plus it sounds like he's an emotional guy he may have talked to her to ask questions about kids but was to scared to say something to you in fear of looking like like an idiot and she started to flirt. There's just way too many possible factors but one remains constant keep a level head and find out the truth.

[monkey]

Thinking and doing are two different animals. Doing is not cool but thinking is normal. Crying and begging you to stay is rare - don't end something when you've got a kid over some stupid pictures and flirting.

Either your boyfriend is an idiot or he doesn't really want to cheat on you. Real players don't get caught that easy.

[kazine]

Wow these people who are saying leave him, wow.

He deserves a second chance.

[Anonymous]

1st off have you heard of privacy?

Why go thru the guy's cell phone?

Now if it's different if you both look at each other cell.numbers

Try to see what the problem is?

If you can't fix the problem than dump thim

Easy as that

[KrakenAttackin]

Have you been super bitch the last few months? Ask yourself if you have been a good partner the past few months. Also was this baby planned or did you baby trap him?

[manders008]

Yes take the baby and run...if you have no where to go, go to your parents house!!

lol

but just take all your stuff and the baby and divorce him.

[Anonymous]

End it!!

take the baby and run.

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