Getting weak in the knees over my ex?

[Anonymous]

After my ex dumped me I cut off all contact with her and started doing my own thing again.

A month went by, I got a new (better) job, was feeling great, having fun with friends and my hobbies, the entire break up process went so DAMN smoothly after the first initial (depressed) days that I dunno, I was proud of myself with how I handled it considering how much I liked this girl and considering I was the one who got dumped.

Well, long story short out of the blue she started texting me again last night. I figured at first that there's nothing wrong with being civil about sh*t so I texted back. It was your typical "blah blah how ya been" sh*t but then after a few hours she never texted back so I figured the convo was over and I went to bed.

I woke up and realized that I'm an idiot.

I can't stop thinking about her now and I also have no clue why she would start texting me again. I think it was a horrible idea for me to text back, so much for being totally over her.

I can't stop flirting with the thought of just asking her if she wants to grab some coffee with me, you know, to scope out the situation.

But even if she answered back and said "yes", then what? What if she is going to pull that friend sh*t on me?

I'm confused mates, I could really use some advice.

[Anonymous]

If you haven't moved on, I wouldn't recommend you to keep in touch with her, until you do. During the process you'll think you're almost there, but one little thing (in this case a text) and make you move 3 steps backwards. I'm not against to be civilized with a friend, I actually have a peaceful relationship with my ex's, even when we talk everyday. If she texts you again, just let her know why you're not going to reply for the next weeks/months. (My ex tried to move on and he started to ignore me without telling me, and believe me, it was the worst feeling ever because I had no idea what was going on. Don't be a coward and tell her straight you don't want to talk for some days)

Concentrate in new things, in that job, and when you realized that you haven't thought about her for some weeks, I think it's time to question if you really moved on or not. Good Luck!

[veronica12]

She probably still has feelings for you. Girls, we think we don't need a guy and when we dump him we realize that he's one of the few persons that actually were always there for us.I think that maybe you should go, but take things slow and don't bring up getting back together. ps. I wish I was able to move on as good as you.

[Asker]

Obviously I havn't moved on as good as I thought I did, hahaha. I guess the trick that always works for me is to find something to pour all your emotions into, for me it was getting a new job. Getting it was a great sense of achievement, better pay, something to do, something to focus on and be proud of.

Plus having more money to go out and have fun with is always a big plus.

Thanks for the reply btw! I think I am moving towards the option of grabbing a coffee with her.

[veronica12]

Well, I have nothing to "pour my emotions on" since I'm 16, on summer vacations (bored 24/7), can't go out because my parents are always busy to drop me off, so well..personally I haven't moved on lol.

[Skygirljenn]

stop answering her texts, if she is wanting something from you that is important, she will call. Cut all texting out. It will show you what her true intentions are.

[Skygirljenn]

Also, don't let her think she has you in her back pocket whenever she is feeling lonely or starts missing you. Big mistake. She needs to feel the pain of you not being around and within a texts reach. Get up off that couch and go hang out with friends, they are the best medicine. Maybe look into hanging out with some girls, no relationships, just innocent mingling. I know it feels as if she is the only one you want to be with, but there are lots of other girls to get your mind off of her.

[NicholasHalden]

You need to really get away from her or the notion of her. She is not your friend, your lover, your "bestie" or your confident. Certain people can handle their exes and those are the ones who kept it NSA or never wanted a serious relationship. You are not one of them and have an actual conscience as Marcus Aurelius would say. Stop flirting and start taking the initiatory steps to controlling your own life and not let her manipulate you. Good Luck.

[martyfellow]

I woudn't contact her; that WAS a bad idea. Go your own way and enjoy your freedom.

If she contacts YOU, you'll have to decide right away what you want. Do you want to be back in a relationship again? Sure she won't dump you again?