My boyfriends ex contacted him after like 5 years... should I be worried?

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half. We live together and everything. Out of the blue this chick (who has a boyfriend and also has a house with this guy) contacts my boyfriend. He did tell me about it and she also wanted to meet up for drinks with him. Should I be worried? It started out where the phone rang and he seemed puzzled letting me know it was an ex. He also mentioned that he got a text from her earlier. A few minutes later, the two texted each other back and forth. Not a whole lot, because by the 3rd time I got really peed off and went to get ready for bed. He only dated her for 10 months, did exchange the I love you, and broke up due to the relationship feeling like a friendship. I think its weird that out of no where she's reaching out to him now. Like I am sure they have exchanged words in the past cause they are friends on Facebook. Should I be worried. I mean he did tell me about and he told me he isn't going to see her. Could she just be really being nice by saying hi?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I wouldn't worry about them getting back together; if that was going to happen, they would have done that before he ever met you. However, I don't think it's good for him to be going out for drinks with her alone. I don't expect them to do anything, but it sends the wrong message to you. The best thing is for him to leave the past in the past, where it belongs.

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    • Wellll... she was living out on the west coast and recently moved back to the east coast to their home town within the past year. They broke up because it felt like a friendship (this is what I was told when we first started dating). She was obviously living out on the west coast for a couple years so they never had the chance to get back together. He said he wasn't going to get a drink since he agreed its not appropriate. I agree he needs to leave her in the past, but will he?

    • If he's smart, he will. You have already made it abundantly clear that you're not cool with him communicating with his ex; now the ball is in his court. I had a girlfriend a number of years ago who kept communicating with her ex in a different city. She told me about it and I was okay with it, but she eventually stopped because she thought it sent the wrong message to me.

    • Talking at 230 in the morning is pretty clear. He may see no harm in it though. I feel like if it's not happening to him, its okay. Like the tables were turned and he is in my position, I think he would be peed off. It just sucks because all I can do it sit here and think, he prob already texted her... are they texting each other right now? What are they saying? Did he change his mind about meeting up? Yet I haven't recieved a single email, text, call, nothing. This sucks. Its funny how when yo

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What Guys Said 7

  • She hasn't let the flame die (in her). Sounds like your boyfriend is "over" her. Best bet is to avoid his meeting her at all. Hopefully, this is the path he will follow.

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    • I don't think she has. I think she is still strung on him. She has a boyfriend so she needs to leave mine alone. How do I know if he is over her? He told me he wasn't going to meet up with her since its not appropraite. Saying and doing are two different things.

  • Of course you should be worried. It's something that we all do when we are not stable in a relationship - check out our options and keep them open. Been there - done that!

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    • I disagree with your comment. If he was the one who reached out to her, then yes its because we are not in a stable relationship. She reached out to him and he did respond. If it was the other way around, I would be walking away from the relationship because your statement is true, but I don't believe its the case here.

  • If you're worried, just tell him. Say you're feeling uncomfortable with him talking to his ex-girlfriend.

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  • Hell yes you should be worried. She has no business contacting him. She is a thing of the past. She obviously wants something

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  • You should be worried. There might be something that she's intending.

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  • Watch what happens. And you cannot stop it. In fact if you try to stop it it will make it happen quicker. Sorry

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  • Only if he's being secretive about it..you obviously know she contacted him but if he's keeping you out of the loop on what they're talking about, then he's hiding something

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    • He was up front about it right away. I don't know if he will continue to chat with her and if he will tell me.

    • Then you might want to confront him about that

What Girls Said 2

  • It's hard to say without knowing her. I mean why does she want to meet up is she going through a bad patch or something or just to socialise. I would be a little miffed myself but it doesn't necessarily mean she has ulterior motives

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    • Thats the thing, I don't know either. I just think 5 years after breaking up with someone and calling them out of the blue has some sort of agenda behind it. Unless he has stuff blocked, its clear him and I are together on Facebook. They are also friends on Facebook too. She was living on the west coast for some time, so maybe I didn't get the full truth and they broke up cause she moved out there? Who knows. I am just at a lost.

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    • It should be. I had a mutual friend of ours check. (however he may have already thought I would check with her and had it be seen for her and I. but I don't think he would really do something like that) If you are not friends with him its blocked but its pretty clear by the few things he has posted on his wall that him and I are together.

    • I don't know then sounds a littl odd! I would ask him why exactly she wants to see him!

  • Hmm. I'm not sure what to tell you. He could have been texting back out of shock or to be polite. Just keep your eyes peeled for now and give us more details.

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    • He told me he texted her to not be rude. He is suppose to text her today to let her know he doesn't think its right to meet up. After that, there should be no more communication in my opinion or am I wrong on that?

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    • I will let you all know what happens. It sucks because I had such a horrible day on Monday that I spent my night crying in his arms, to then Tuesday that happening. I can't catch a break this week.

    • Aww. Feel better!

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