For guys: How do I determine if this married man wants me without embarrassing myself?

I am a married woman in my early 40s & I want to pursue a potential fling with a married man. We are around each other every weekend because our children are in little league together & our spouses are rarely there (always off doing other things). After the games, we just hang around the park & let the kids play, while we chat. When we have conversations it seems as if he's flirting and I definitely feel something, but he is very sociable, so I’m not sure if he is just being an open & friendly person or if he has some interest; I don't want to make the first move & put myself out there, but my desires are becoming harder & harder to suppress. It would be ideal, since we are both married & there would be no strings attached. My husband cheated on me some time ago & I can no longer fight this desire I have for this man.

A few weeks ago, I took mine & his daughter to a kid’s carnival that he promised her she could go to (he had to take his other child somewhere & his wife was away). When we met at the park before the carnival, the kids were playing & we had a deep conversation in which he mentioned that he broke up with his wife twice while they were dating because he didn't want to be tied down, but she was persistent. When they got back together & got married, she "got him" right away with two kids back-to-back. Then he went on to mention how she wasn't very much is type, as he likes women who are curvy with firm, round rear-ends. I found this amusing as that is a physical attribute I possess. I also found it amusing as it was very similar in how my husband & I started off (me not wanting to be tied down, him not being my type, but he kept pursuing me until we fell in-love). I shared my similar story & it lead to some remarks on how challenging it is to be married with so much temptation out there…w/ us concurring on that fact.

…After the carnival, he texted me later that day to thank me for taking his daughter & said that he owes me a drink. I responded by saying it was no problem taking her & that I never turn down a drink, so I'm game. This was a few weeks ago. We have seen each other since- -still chat about relationships, which included topics he brought up about couples that ‘swing’ & asked if it is hard keeping the spark in my marriage (& touched on sports as well); he even went on to say that he thinks he is starting to believe that we (humans) are not meant to be with just one person - -but he has not offered/mentioned taking me for a drink ever since the text. He's even brought up the best bars in the city & favorite drinks, but no offer. We often come across one another in our commute to & from work & I sort of get the feeling that he wants ME, instead, to now make an offer to go out for drinks.

-how do I find out if he is interested in pursuing a fling with me w/out putting myself out there?

-thinking like a man, is he sending me mixed signals intentionally or am I just mistaking his sociable personality & openness with something not there?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • sorry, I didn't read anything more than your question.

    Don you knnow how much harm can you make out of all of this? I have witnessed many family friends in which one of them cheats on the other and the victim tries to kill him/herself.

    And if any of you ahve kids you are basically ruining their lives compeltely.

    sorry if I seem harsh but think about everything that you could cause. And the karma that you can get from all of this.

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    THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE

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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't do it! It causes more harm than good! Please look at the bigger picture and all the damage it can cause.

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What Girls Said 1

  • If he wants you or not that shouldn't be your problem, he is MARRIED after all.

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