Why does he keep coming back?

I met a guy via online dating. We talked for 5 weeks before meeting up. I guess I wanted to make sure he seemed normal, nice and decent. We opened up to each other about a lot of things, but as time would tell, he hid a lot too...

We slept together too early - second date. And then he pulled away and revealed more of his 'real ' self. no more sweet talking - and a lot more brash and up himself. then he would be sweet again, and send heaps of text messages, opening up about how he's a bad guy and bad influence, that his brother is a bikie and the gang comes over often. That he does drugs etc. I was shocked, but also compassionate. seemed like a cry for help. we got close again (talking - not sex) and the talks were good.

Then he was rude and asked me to pick him up from a date. I lost it and told him to grow up. It's like he enjoyed seeing that I cared. He then messaged and called asking me to please come over and see him - I ignored it.

Anyway I called him on his 'act' and games and pulled away. I told him I wouldn't see someone who treated me like dirt and spoke to me unkindly. He then put on the 'nice guy' act again, all because of the chase I think. And the harder I made it for him, the more he chased. He promised he just wanted me to give him a chance to make it right. and that if all I offered was friendship fine he would take that. so after a week of pleading, I gave in.

Wemet - but only as friends. I went to his place and he was p*ssed off when I left becuase I didn't sleep with him or even let him touch me. I told him if he begged to see me for so long after being friends, and he can't REALLY be friends - then leave me alone. It was a tactic to make him realize his own game had failed.

Anyway I still have a feeling ill hear from him again, maybe in a few days or a week. that's what he tends to do when I say 'dont contact me again'. What do I do then? He's made it clear he's talking to other girls - that's fine I'd rather someone else put up with the lies and games. but why does he keep coming back? Especially when he knows he's not getting anything from me now I know his game.
  • He's probably starting to genuinely like you
    Vote A
  • He's a player but likes you, probably why he opened up
    Vote B
  • He's just playing the game
    Vote C
  • You're different and a challenge
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You got played once and he's trying to play you again. He probably likes the challenge or maybe he doesn't want to admit he lost the second round.

    • i think it would have really p*ssed him off when I came to his place looking hot - but only stayed to chat and then left. mwa haha. paybacks a bitch.

    • Not paying attention is much much much worse than that. Not noticing is the worst kind of disdain ;-)

    • true but the irony is the less I talk to him the more turned on he seems and the more he chases. so it seems to be a damn aphrodisiac to him. its hard to get him away. he thinks its a game. wehn really I'm over it.

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What Guys Said 5

  • He wants a groupie, a 'gang girl' who will put up with mistreatment and cavalier treatment like being called to pick him up from a date with..someone else!

    You've already put up with this way too much. give him the cold shoulder if he contacts you again.

  • I think you're challenge as in he's interested in bugging you. But the way he does it, it's just part of the game. Maybe he liked you, but that's just that. It's more likely he just wanted to be honest, after all he had got what he wanted.

    I was going for C, then at the last moment I picked D and now I'm sorry I didn't pick C. So yeah, I would like to -1 for D and +1 for C.

    Save yourself, girl! Block his #, Facebook, whatever. Get rid of him. Your intuition is totally right.

  • He sounds like a typical abusive person. The thing about an abusive guy is that he is not 100% abusive. He'll treat you like you were lower than whale sh*t and then the next time he'll be so sweet with you. That's why many women stay in an abusive relationship. Sure, it may be his way to cry or help but of all people, you are not qualified to help him. Not only because you are not his doctor, but also, most importantly, you are emotionally invested in the guy. Let other people help him! In the mean time, stay away.

  • don't give up!

  • This guy doesn't know what he wants, but he's obviously not relationship material. Your best bet is to avoid him like the plague. If I were in your situation, I wouldn't respond.


What Girls Said 1

  • He's only after one thing, ignore him unless you want him to keep using you.


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