I miss my ex-girlfriend but was it a lucky escape? Have you been in situations like this before?

[Anonymous]

I met this pretty girl last April and we hit it off straight away. We couldn't stop talking and even when she went back to her parents home in Poland, we spoke every night on Skype. We then got together after meeting up in Paris towards the end of the summer.

First five months was amazing. I was in love and she did everything for me.

Then I saw another side of her - her temper. She could be smiling and happy one minute and suddenly she will be shouting and screaming at me because someone spilled some water or her or I wanted to go for a run for 30 minutes or see my friends.

When we are together (just me and her) staying in, everything was perfect. Problems always start if I wanted to see my parents or do some studying away from her or even to meet up with my friends for a coffee. She said she doesn't mind me meeting up with friends but always kick off about something if I do.

So I started seeing less of my friends & my parents (once a week). I felt like I couldn't breathe and I was walking on egg shells all the time. She was always knocking me down, which affected my confidence. I think I went out 4 times on my own without her in that 6 mths and she gave me aggro for two of them (you are not seeing me tonight if you want to see your friends).

So I started backing off slowly. She then tried to find fault with everything I do. I worked hard to 'rectify' my faults but never good enough. She then said we don't have a future together and broke up with me.

I went out to with friends next 3 days to drown my sorrows. Then I got a call saying if I wanted things to work with her I would be begging her to take me back instead of seeing my friends. I got accused of more stuff and she left. Now she is trying to make me jealous with new dates.

2 weeks on, I still love & miss her but first time I felt like I can breathe. I didn't realise how my confidence can be destroyed in 6 months.

I won't go back to her. How can I re-gain my confidence again soon?

[Anonymous]

It's scary how that happens, isn't it? : / I was with a guy for four months. I wasn't even close to loving him, but it was the first relationship I had and I didn't know what it mean to be in a good one. At first he wined and dined me and was great…then the more time I spent with him the more controlling and verbally abusive he became. He put on a nice facade, but would tell me I needed to go to the gym with him even though I was skinny.

You were in love so it's going to be hard, but just look back at what you wrote and realize that you're definitely better off because of it. Don't let her continue to control you by letting your confidence fall. Besides, it's only been a couple weeks…you have plenty of time to feel better!