My boyfriend doesn't trust me because he cheated on me...?

[Anonymous]

You read that right. My boyfriend doesn't trust ME because HE cheated on me. I just can't wrap my head around this, so I was hoping maybe someone could help me understand what is going on here.

My boyfriend is incredibly jealous and possessive. He's always questioning me and what I'm doing. He won't let me have guy friends, he won't let me hang out with friends or go to parties, and he's constantly checking my phone and social media accounts. He has cheated and lied a lot in the past, so he's says he's paranoid that I'll cheat on him to get back at him.

I have never told a single lie to this man, nor have I ever cheated, flirted, or acted in any way inappropriately with another person. But he will not give me any privacy and is really suffocating me. I don't understand why I should be the one being questioned all the time for HIS mistakes. Why does he do this?

[Paris13]

Being your boyfriend has been this cheating cheetah many times over, he is now doing this "reverse role," and making you his fall guy for his emotional issues. And he won't quit neither. He is feeling so scared, so "Paranoid," that it's Now Consuming His life And Yours, because he is figuring: "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander," and he won't let it rest in the nest.
Along with his bird brain thoughts, he is also laying this gangly guilt trip on you, bringing you down to his low life level, watching you like some guard dog, and making you pay for his mind boggling mistakes. He has got you feeling like this Minnie Mouse mistress before it would even happen.
You need to sit this boy down and have a pet talk with him of ALL your pet peeves in this relationship. You're not living your life with him breathing down your neck, but Existing in Name Only. Don't let him control you, continue his tricks, or you will never live normally, being Constantly put under his thumb, pawing you to death.
You need to tell this bully boxer that, either he stops badgering and biting the hand that has always petted his head like a good boy every time he "messes up," or you will be forced to hand him his walking papers.
It's your choice, but unless something is Firmly said and done, there will never be any trust in this relationship, or even a chance to salvage what is left of it.
Good luck.xx

[CrystalMinds]

Sometimes the ones who aren't to be trusted are very hard on trusting others. Maybe it's because he knows how "easy" it can be to cheat, or because he thought "if I cheat, she'll do it too", ...God knows. Well, he kinda says why, though that's not right to do. Have you talked to him about it and, if so, what did he say? Call him out on his behaviour and let him know he doesn't have the right to act like that, that you never betrayed his trust and that you're not planning to either, he shouldn't work out his frustration over his own mistakes out on you. My advice would be: talk to him, let him know how his behaviour makes you feel, and that you don't need to take that from him so things need to change.

[PinkAcid]

its quite a common thing to happen, he doesn't trust you because he thinks if he can do all the sneaking about behind your back so easily and cheat on you then you could easily be doing the same to him and he think you might revenge cheat too.

dont stay with him he is a complete loser, you deserve better than to be cheated on time and time again and not trusted for being faithful

[Aftd2007]

He's afraid that since he cheated you will cheat to get back at him. Plus people will get defensive and get jealous about things that they feel guilty about.

[RealityCheckTime]

This.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Psychological projection

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_projection

[Lauren2410]

Ok I'm not going to tell you "why did you take him back after cheating"(because I don't think you want to hear this since you're back with him), even though that's my opinion, but I don't get why he shouldn't trust you.It should be the other way. He probably feels regret or guilt for what he's done and knows that you could do the same thing to him, which is where the paranoia comes from.I think you should really talk to him, not to us, because only together you can solve this.Explain him that he doesn't need to worry, that even though he cheated on you, you forgave him.

[Anonymous]

This is HIS problem. He fears if he lets you have control of yourself, you'll find someone better than him! Guess what? YOU WOULD TOO! I can't believe you're with this tool bag. Did you read your own post? Can't have guy friends, can't hang out with your girlfriends, no parties, invades your personal space, cheats on you. . . what does he do that's positive? He must have great hair, or something, jeez. Walk away now, holy crap.

[utopianromance]

He is sick in the head, he's playing sociopathic games with you, you should leave him girl or your life will be hell.

You are on to him, I'm sure you'll do what is best for you.

[Tractorbeam]

That sounds normal.The people who mistrust you the most will be the ones who are least trustworthy.They are expecting you to be no better than them.

[Giulyy214]

Wished to know where you are from as I'm having a similar experience, and kind of desperate to find someone to share things that would understand... any chance you boyfriend is from India?

Sorry I can't really help, but Thanks for sharing, it made me feel a little bit less alone 😪😉

[uuhhhh]

What does it matter, just get some sense and get very far away from him

[kalrodkal]

He is a bit of an idiot. Insecure and needy. They say that the people are the most insecure of being cheated on end up being the ones doing the cheating

[shakesomeaction]

he sounds like a loser to be honest.