Cheated on my boyfriend... Will he be able to EVER trust me again?

[Anonymous]

I was with my boyfriend for 2 years. We were high school sweet hearts and everything. life was beyond perfect... Then I started this new job and in came another guy. At first he was trying to get at me. But then one night my boyfriend had made me sooo mad as a reaction I went out with my coworker and we went out drinking.. I can't remember much. But I know (and my coworker has confirmed this) that we hooked up. It took me 2 weeks to tell my boyfriend but I told my boyfriend what I had done and I was upfront about it. And I hated myself. I hated how I was able to hurt him so much. I had loved him so much. And my boyfriend broke up with me. We have been broken up with for about 5 months. And we have tried to go at the relationship one more time but he's not sure about it. I know it's going to be tough for him to trust me again but do you guys think that MAYBE with time and love he would be able to trust me once again? Or should I just give up? (PS. He has told me he forgives me and he has told me he still loves me and he knows how much I regret my decision)

[DasVoz]

A true test of one's character is how he or she handles a position of power as well as adversity. When you cheated over a heated disagreement, you were exposed. The feelings of regret don't matter. The fact you love him doesn't matter.

What matters is how you handled the relationship at that critical moment. You made the decision at that moment that you don't love him.

Trust is faith, which is belief on insufficient evidence. Trust is all you have when you're holding hands and hugging eachother like lovers, because there's no way of knowing how you'll handle adversity until you actually face it.

The evidence is here. When challenged, you cheated, he didn't. There is no more trust to be had. Should you give up? Well, he's the one who should be asking the question. Should he give up on you? Standing in his shoes, the answer is yes.

[MaskedSanity]

Brilliant answer. 👏👏👏

[DasVoz]

@MaskedSanity thanks!

[OpenWine]

Bless this

[sephylove]

Best answer yet.

[HopefullSally]

👌👌👍 definitely a great answer @DasVoz

[Chief16]

You guys might get back together. Sure. But don't expect any trust whatsoever. Its broken. There's nothing you can do that will remove that mark. I can feel the guy's pain. He still loves you too much to let you but still mad to not let you get off so easy. Put yourself in his shoes? How would you feel if he'd say 'I was mad at you so I got drunk and slept with someone else.' Whatever good times you had or however good you were to him don't matter when you betray someone like that. Move on and let go.

[MaskedSanity]

You should move on and let him heal.

You have A LOT of work to do on your character, if at the first sign of trouble you run to another guy to get wasted and fuck.

Stay away from relationships and take up a hobby that requires a great deal of discipline so you can coach yourself into a respectable mindset.

I strongly advise against pursuing him or any other man in the near future.

[candycrushcoconuts]

I think you should give him - not him. To actively seek revenge by going out with this co-worker (alcohol or not) is pretty inexcusable in my books. Even if he doesn't leave you, you should question what you're doing with someone who you can't communicate well with, to the point you decide to seek revenge.

[Illloveyouforever91]

Promise to never hurt him again and in time, with love and support, he will fully be able to trust you again. Just don't mess up, if he makes you mad maybe it's for the best that you broke up but if you truly love each other, the relationship will find its way.

[Anonymous]

You should move on. Trust is like a delicate porcelain dish. Once it's broken it'll never be the same.

[TFW97]

Personally, if I was cheated on regardless of the circumstances I would never trust that person again. Cheating not only damages a relationship but also cause the person being cheated on to find it hard to trust other people in other relationships. You may love each other but he will always know that you cheated on him and he will never forget that. Besides that do you really want to be in a relationship feeling guilty and feeling like you're gong to have to make it up to him for the rest of your relationship?

[singlebee]

Who cares if he would be able to trust your not? No one gives a fuck about a person like you... not even me or other people of GAG over here...

You made your bed you sleep in it now... why don't you go and hook up with that guy with whome you cheated with? Go get drunk enough to lose all control... After this is what most guys want... a girl like you...

You deserve it... leave him alone. let him find a nice, mature women for himself...

[OpenWine]

there's a movie (I mean a lot of movies) about romance and the flaws the women made r forgiven maybe you are a lucky one and get back together. I personally would get together with you, have sex with you and dump if I was that kind of a person which my mind doesn't allow to. Personally I would be trying to take you back (if you were my love) but never be with you and reject whenever possible.

[Octavius]

Nope. Not deep down. If you give the slightest shit about him then don't contact him anymore. Let him fully get over you. He probably still feels embarrassment but also has conflicting feelings for the person he once thought you were.

[Sweepthelegjonny]

Im romantic as the next guy... But he's not being honest with his feelings... I fell that ur relationship is going to end badly some day

[CoolSky01]

i will be honest for you i dont think i can ever get back with you if you done that to me, once a cheater always a cheater , you will do it again its just a matter of time

[JustinTheGreat]

Well since he said he forgives you and knows you regret it, it sounds like he's willing to give you another chance maybe

[Asker]

But that's the thing. Like today we went out for the first time in 5 months and it was AMAZING! We acted as if we were back together. Holding hands kissing hugging being all cute. Then we get back to "reality" and tells me it's best if we don't talk to each other at all anymore. I want to know if I should continue to try or if he really believes that he won't be able to ever trust me again.

[JustinTheGreat]

Well that sounds like he really still does love you and wants to be with you, but he thinks if he gets back together he will get hurt again

[Nuqood]

I've said it once, and I'll say it again: You don't feel bad for cheating, you feel bad for being exposed as a cheater.

[joesepy1]

You will be fine, the o my way to keep a relationship is to have bolth sides pushing through together, as long as he keeps pushing through the problem, so he can stay with you then he will be dine, and you will be fine

[MoreThanACookie]

He may forgive you but he will never trust you again.

[jmmmfi2]

I wouldn't even look at you sideways again. I find it funny how alcohol is such a convenient excuse for a lot of the things people do.

[James19]

I feel sorry for him.
Control your anger issues... trust me it reuins lives

[lumos]

Nope. Don't think so.

[EllaC]

If you think it's worth it, try.

[Dred1614]

If I were him, I would want nothing to do with you

[Jared____]

No I wouldn't