One of our first problems was, he lied about his age by a few years younger than he was and didn't come clean til after we'd been dating over 6 months.
Now when I met him, I knew he fucked up in the past.. but he got involved in all these programs that he said changed him and helped him grow into a decent man, which is what he's always said he wants to be.
One of his big mistakes was cheating on his ex. She was his fiancée, they lived together, he was madly in love with her.. but she had problems and did things that hurt him.. and he ended up cheating on her, which ended their relationship.
Now it's been a few years between he and I and things seem to be slowly moving forward.. but I realize I don't trust him. And I can't hide it.
Do you believe that a cheater can really change? Or is that an impulse that's too strong for most guys to resist? I wanna believe he's being faithful.. but a big part of me is scared that one day he'll leave me for someone else and I won't even know it :(
Should I end the relationship or would that be self sabotage? Also, I have discussed this with him and he's always insisted there's no one else but me.
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I have been in the exact situation, but mine was a longdistance relationship. My ex loved his fiance. He told me she was a bad girl that hurt him and cheated on him. But later I found out that was a big lie.. He was the one that neglected her feelings and therefore she talked with another guy for emotional support. He twisted her story, spread rumors about her in his community. And I found out my ex was the one that cheated on his fiance.. she loved him.. he loved her.. but she ended it with him and then moved away. Then he met me a few times. He lied to me telling me I was the first girl he was with after her. He also lied to me about his real age. At first he looked very trust worthy. We had everything in common. I really felt loved by him. He told me I was the one for him and proposed to me. But after a few months something wasn't right and lacking, we had fights. He told me was only talking to me. And I noticed he was soon doing things (lie and like other girls (body) pictures). I didn't like it and it was hurting my feelings. Then we had small fights and after months I found out he had a side chick (his sisters best girlfriend as a safety net incase I would end it with him) with whom he had sex. It distroyed my trust completely and our relationship. He denied everything and begged for me to stay. But I couldnt forgive him. Then he told me he was with another girl before me. One of his relatives, whom he didn't love and broke up with cause he didn't want to be with her. Lets name her tina. After we broke up I noticed he chatted up with tina and she has no idea that he is just using her as a safety net until someone better comes. I know this cause I felt jealous that he was with someone else that quickly. So my best female friend told me she would test if my ex loves tina. My female friend chatted with my ex and sent him pics of her face (she is very pretty). He lied to my female bestfriend and told her he was single and interested in her. He told her he wanted to meet her and really liked her. (After a few days talking he wanted to dump tina for my best female friend...) So in short: think like this, if he can find another one who's worth to cheat on you, he will cheat on you. Cheaters always cheat if they have a chance. My ex is now with a girl (whom I have named Tina) he dumped once for me.. just to pass time.. and he wanted to cheat on her with my best friend.. im glad im out of that toxic relationship. You deserve better than a liar