My Boyfriend (M 22) talks about and compares me (F 21) to his ex girlfriend?

[holly6090]

so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 3 months now. It’s been amazing. He treats me well, we’re comfortable and silly around each other and definitely are best friends. We have told each other we love one another and honestly, I don’t think it’s weird. I know I love him. But here’s one problem... he still lowkey talks about his ex-girlfriend

Alright, so him and his ex dated for about a year, 2 years ago. She cheated on him, was manipulative, and was all over not the best. Apparently, she is now a single mother because her baby daddy left her. I’m not making this up lol. Anyway, he told me after he broke up with her, he was depressed for about a year and a half and basically didn’t date or anything. He also didn’t have sex for that time. He has told me that his last relationship definitely created a lot of scars and baggage for him. A couple of weeks ago, he was sleeping over at my apartment and woke up having a panic attack cause he has a nightmare that I was cheating on him. I calmed him down and let him know that I would never want to do that to him. Because of the last relationship he tells me he’s less “optimistic” and “expects the worst in relationships”. However, he is very loving and understanding towards me.

He has talked about his ex-girlfriend of his a couple of times and has also positively compared me to her. For example, he would say “my ex girlfriend used to get mad when I fell asleep on FaceTime but you don’t” when he talks about her, he says negative things about her and positive things about me. While I’m glad I’m being a “great” girlfriend for him, I still don’t like being compared to women I never even met or even talked to. A couple of weeks ago I casually texted him that I don’t like him talking about his ex girlfriend and comparing me to her. He said “I’m sorry” and “he will try not to do it as much” While he has not talked about her that much, he also will time to time still positively compare me to her.

Updates

+1 y

What should I do? Should I be worried?

[Newhead]

He shouldn't be talking about his ex when he is with a great girl. Dude needs to heal and doesn't need to be in a relationship, the is not fair to you and it's disrespectful.

I dated a guy that was not over his ex, he said bad things about her that I didn't believe, she was more beautiful than I am but I wasn't jealous because I'm not that kinda girl. I saw a picture of her by the way, she also had a crazy hot body that is all real.

In my case, I know he abused her, and she left but he makes her out to be crazy and evil. She is now gay, poor thang. I left him too, I had to so I didn't sta-----b him.

[Wizzbang]

Hey, at least he's not comparing you in a bad way?
Usually things like this go away over time, you just gotta let him heal and show him what a real relationship looks like. If he's still doing it, then let him know it's an actual problem and that it affects your relationship

[Lunatic1]

Men are expected to be strong at all times, so things that hurt us cut us deep and take a long time to heal. If he is talking you up in comparison, it is a positive thing so you shouldn't be concerned. Just keep being yourself and be there for him.

[Coolmanxl]

Are you jealous 🙂