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She keeps asking for things like jewerlys, clothes or flowers, anything she likes.. I like buying her stuff of course, but there should be a limit for it right?
11 d
Superb Opinion
That's not appropriate. A relationship isn't about using someone financially, emotionally, or otherwise. What does she bring to the relationship herself? Does she spoil you with gifts and contribute financially to bills and things?
Financial abuse in relationships is actually VERY common, as one party feels required to supply the other, as a means of "taking care of the person I love" but it's not. It's enabling that very person to control how YOUR money is spent on a regular basis.
1) have you set boundaries regarding finances? Have you discussed the concerns about constantly providing gifts / items is not essential for the relationship and should not be expected all the time?
2) Is your girlfriend lazy? Does she see you more along the lines of a "sugar daddy" or someone to provide her with what she WANTS, financially support her, and care for her, while she does nothing but live her life the way she chooses to?
3) Have you been doing this since the start of the relationship? If so, that is a pattern you have set and established, so in her mind YOU spending money on anything / everything she wants = how she feels loved, special, and now it has become the expected lifestyle she craves from you.
4) Does she work? Why can't she buy her own products for herself and stop relying on you to purchase these things?
You need to address this serious topic, and explain to her your concerns and WHY you are not going to continue supplying the financial excess to be used freely. Setting boundaries will help you save so much money, so you can actually save up for things like couples trips, weekend getaways together, big purchases (new furniture, appliances) etc.If she demands this lifestyle, and expects to be financially supported, spoiled, and has any issue with you setting these new boundaries, you KNOW she is only interested in relationship as a financial gain to fulfill her own materialistic desires.
The sooner you discuss this, the BETTER.
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663 opinions shared on Relationships topic. There was a guy like that at my office a while back. We all felt sorry for him. He literally took out a loan to get his fiancée the enormous ring and matching earrings etc. that she wanted but spent his daily lunch hour at his desk eating a miserable bologna sandwich and looking at the website for a pricy watch he’d been drooling over for years…
From what I could tell, the girl was gorgeous but also very cold until you specifically offered her a gift — I call it “pretty girl syndrome” but I’m sure there’s an unkind name for it as well….
Anyway I asked him one time why he doesn’t just put his foot down and tell her she’s being a brat. After all, many of us have been engaged and married and set our caps for SHARED values like a space to raise a family, etc.
He shrugged my question off, thinking I didn’t understand, but we could all see he was being taken advantage of by his pretty little lady. They married. He moved up and left our group, and like Icarus flying too close to the sun I believe the lady over asked… The guy’s single now but has his f-ing watch.
People make the choice to have what they want, but they don’t always see that some choices are toxic — and not just guys, mind you. Women can fall prey to this sort of thing as well. Either can be blindsided by a pretty face, particularly if they struggle with low self esteem and keep thinking HOW LUCKY they are to have this “out of their league” type person….
The answer is to set reasonable limits — for yourself and for your SO. Also, make sure she’s there for YOU and not for the stuff you’re giving her. Even Santa sets boundaries and only comes around once a year….
Alright are you dating a hot 19 year old or something? If not (young women shouldn’t be doing this bs either unless their was an upfront arrangement) you already know the right answer to this. Draw the line on this and if she doesn’t quit mooching off you then be ready to walk away and mean it. It’s better to be alone and have self respect then to have a leaching freeloaded like your girlfriend do this to you.
Remember this isn’t really a money issue but a respect issue. There are worse things in this world then being lonely. It’s one thing if you make a lot more money then her, enjoy treating her out occasionally and she is grateful about it vs entitled. However if she unilaterally made a decision to mooch off you then she really has little respect for you. Don’t expect her to have an “epiphany” one day because she won’t. Don’t enable that bullshit.
All of this comes down to the ability to say NO. If don’t say no now it only gets harder to say no later. And I get it the idea of “losing” her is scary. But deep down she doesn’t respect you if she is shamelessly doing this. And there is no substitute for respect.
2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. It won’t stop until you dump her ass , sadly you fell for a high maintenance girl that thinks she should be catered to , if you don’t cater her? She will find someone else that will, I been in your shoes before and sadly it all ended badly , when I no longer could cater to her when I lost my job , she started treating me like I was a loser cuz couldn’t afford her spending habits , so do yourself a favor and kick her to the curb , if she likes to spend money? Her ass needs to be working as well and should be your partner. not a fucking user.
Artificial Intelligence
Ah, love and finances, a classic cocktail with the occasional bitter aftertaste. Here's the thing: love isn't about draining wallets, it's about filling hearts! It sounds like it's time for a cozy, open chat. Let her know how you're feeling about the financial flow in the relationship. Approach it with love and understanding, not accusation. It's important for both of you to be on the same love boat when it comes to spending and saving. And remember, the most valuable things you can give each other often don’t cost a cent. Communication is sexy, my friend, so dial up the charm and have that heart-to-heart. 😉
What Girls & Guys Said
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Opinion
67Opinion
- 332 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
This is my own personal opinion, so feel free to take it with a grain of salt. Flowers are one thing, because they’re sweet and romantic, but that’s something you should give her because you want to not because she asks you to. Otherwise it’s no longer a gift. Buying clothes and jewelry, that’s a wife privilege.
With that, here’s the options I would suggest:1. You put your foot down and tell her “No.” Tell her you will buy her things when you want, not when she wants. And whatever you give her will be out of the love you have for her, not because she demands it.
2. Decide whether or not this is the woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. If yes, then you should disclose to her your budget and how much this spending is affecting your finances. But again, that is a wife privilege.
3. Break up with her and find someone who is more financially compatible.
- 1.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
There are a few things you can do:
1. Dump her and get another girlfriend who is fiscally responsible
2. Put a low limit on your credit cards, which restricts what you can buy her
3. Set a ground rule... only one purchase for her a month, and it must be less than X dollars (you set the limit)
1.6K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Shouldn't have gotten a high maintenance of
- 8.4K opinions shared on Relationships topic. u
When she asks for something, respond with "That's a good gift idea for next Valentine's Day, Christmas, or her birthday," whichever is the next gift-giving event on the calendar.
- 1.3K opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Don't buy an expensive car if you can't afford to change the oil. Trade it in for a beater.
7K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Learn to say no when it gets too onerous
Like you solve most relationship problems - communication.
And yes, there should be a limit. It's nice when a guy buys you something sometimes... especially at the beginning of the relationship. Potentially also if you happen to be a millionaire but I don't have personal experience with that.
But, if she's thinking seriously about your future together and she knows that you are not wealthy then she wouldn't be doing it in the first place... unless she's immature or not very intelligent. Or isn't thinking about you long term. Otherwise she'd prefer to save, plan together to where you're both contributing eg for a house etc.
You might need to rethink this relationship, but first give her a chance to change after having an honest conversation with her.
Dealing with financial strain in a relationship requires open communication and setting clear boundaries. Here’s how you can address the situation:
Have an Honest Conversation: Start by expressing your feelings about the financial situation without blaming or criticizing.
Set Clear Financial Boundaries: Discuss what you are comfortable contributing financially and what you aren’t.
Create a Budget Together: If you share expenses, work on a budget that suits both of your financial situations.
Encourage Financial Independence: Encourage her to manage her own finances, which can include setting personal financial goals or following a budget.
Seek financial counseling. If the situation is complex, consider consulting a financial advisor or counselor.
Reevaluate the Relationship: If financial disagreements are a constant issue and compromise seems impossible, it might be necessary to reevaluate the relationship’s long-term viability.
- Anonymous(30-35)
These days women shouldn’t be asking for NOTHIN’! Like what makes you think I should just go out and buy you a 30k diamond ring? Like WHO are you again? That’s a CAR for your finger!
There’s a huge lack of self-awareness. Real talk, times are tough, let’s work together to make it through, not kickstart our financial downfall because you want to put a ring on your finger everyday. I mean, how stupid? Lots of better things to save your money for.
And it’s like, “it doesn't even mean I don’t want to be with you,” you know? There are just way more important things to worry about than “buy stuff for ME ME MEEEEE!”
Stand your ground man. Talk some sense into her or something. Different times we’re in and it’s clear that women are having a tough time adjusting. I wish it wasn’t so but that’s facts.
What a fool you men are when it comes to women. Why do you think a woman gets a boyfriend? So she can live in her pleasure zone to benefit from you then when she finds a man who can give her more. She drops you and goes for that person. You are weak and do not know how to stand up to her. You allow her to do this to you. From day one of your relationship, you should set boundaries about the purposes of your relationship. She cannot get your money unless you allow her to. I guess she also took over your home. You just friends, she not your wife. When will you men learn what most of us women are all about? Again, the reason why we get a boyfriend is to benefit from you. You two do not have an actual relationship. The relationship is a one-way street (her). I am sure she also talks trash behind your back. What you need to do is drop her. There is no relationship. She is not your friend. Your relationship is over. She has made a fool of you.
- 620 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
You stop buying things man. It isn't hard. If she gets mad then she is showing her true colors. I like buying things for my wife too but my wife also knows that it isn't going to be all the time regardless of the fact I can afford it. Gifts are special because they don't happen all the time.
- 496 opinions shared on Relationships topic.
Unless you’ve given her access to your accounts, she isn’t draining you. You’re draining yourself and blaming your own weak will on her. You’ve found yourself a taker. Clearly you’re a giver. Now it’s time to draw a line and see if she’s just there because you don’t know when to say when. Or drain yourself dry and see if she sticks around. Your choice. Ell oh ell!
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You could always... break up with her. It's very difficult to change anyone's financial mindset. You can't undo the programming, they have to do that for themselves.
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How can U stop it? U r asking us how U can stop something. Keep your wallet closed dont open it when you are with her maybe. Stop putting your hands in your pockets when you are with her might help as well. I think this is the only way to stop. P. s get another girlfriend who is less irrational and respects ur limits because this one doesn't respect u or ur money
- https://www.youtube.com/embed/LH-i8IvYIcg
Play this on repeat
2.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. You have 8 years on me and you can't figure out how to stop someone from using you?
Assert your boundaries and stop caring what they think. Treat yourself like you would treat your most precious loved one and stop disrespecting yourself by putting a gold digger on a pedestal. Have a bit of shame, have a bit of pride.
1.9K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Are you really 43 years of age? If so, for fucks sake start acting it.
2.5K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Get rid of her.
I am telling you this as a 61-year old man who CANNOT retire because his wife cannot control her spending and considers "Save" to be a "four-letter word" (aka expletive).-
Sounds like she may be a gold digger. I mean does she ever buy you anything in return. in my opinion it should be equal in gift giving but it's not always about the material and you should never try to buy their love.
5.2K opinions shared on Relationships topic. Just stop buying her stuff. If she dumps you then you know she was only in it for the money
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