What do I do about a girlfriend who makes horrible financial decisions?

[loyalhumblesmart20]

Like we live together and we split rent we have on two occasions not been able to meet rent because she doesn’t have her half. Then when I put my half up or give it to her she goes and spends it and claims it’s a we issue we don’t have rent and I respond no it’s a you issue I meet my rent everytime you fail to get your half. She was recently out of work for a week for something her employer caused and would not try to do workman’s compensation she just gave up and didn’t try to get the money back her solution was to make me try to pay double rent. So her mom just sent her rent money and when I’m at work she goes we still need 400 more dollars because she spent the 600 dollars on her credit card bills. I was fucking furious like she was dug out of a hole and instantly creates another. We got into a huge argument last night because I called her on this ignorance it’s called priorities you make sure you have a roof over your head then everything else comes second because it doesn’t mean shit if you pay your credit card but have nowhere to live.

[Diodoro]

Have her pay you out of every pay check directly first thing and you are the only one who handles money. Don't give her money for shit. She gives you money and you'll handle it. Sucks, but it's be the dad, or be mad until she grows up

That and or get a third roommate. You can open up your couch if need be for extra cash. Pocket that money for yourself. I know this all sucks, but at the end of the day you picked her and you knew she wasn't good with money before you moved in together

Unless you're willing to kick her out, you're going to have to put your foot down and be the one managing this problem

[Diodoro]

Like you have to be strict without even a little bend on this.

[PeacefulRainDrop]

Wow im not sure what she's thinking? Sounds like she might be taking advantage of you! Cause who in their right frame of mind spends the rent money on shopping and credit cards.. if the place is yours ask her to move back in with her parents. Get a roommate that can actually do their part of the deal. there's not much more important than rent! Or you could ask her to let you see her budget... she probably doesn't have one and teach her to budget she gets lets say $900 bi weekly... rent is $1200 so every paycheck sent up an automatic transfer into your account of $300.. help her open free savings accounts inside her bank label one emergency fund, bills, extra spending. Get her to put $100 every paycheck into the emergency and tell her not to touch it.. she sounds like she hasn't had any money management and maybe she has a need to spend money without thinking about priorities only fear going this route she might consider you controlling but you put up with far more than your share!

[dustybiker]

I get your frustration. Sounds like she’s always been taken care of and now expects it. Has she any remorse? One thing though, you can’t loose your cool. Keep your head. Fighting will lead you nowhere.

[WindAtMyBack]

You aren't compatible. This is an important issue that you need to be compatible about. Financial problems cause a lot of stress in relationships.

This is not likely something that changes in the near future, so don't expect it to. You have a choice of accepting it the way it is, which probably means paying part of her share, or leaving her.

Peoples' spending habits tend to develop when they are young, and don't easily change. She might grow out of it and become more responsible, but it could take a long time, and may never happen at all.

[OlderAndWiser]

Are you thinking of her a a good prospect to be a long term partner/spouse? Why?

[libsaretards]

Her financial habits will not change until she wants them to. She does not want to because she knows someone (you or mommy) will bail her out. You are too old to wait on someone to wise up. If you marry her with these issues your marriage will end in a horrible manner and she will milk you for money. She needs a good reason before she changes and you cannot afford to wait around for that to happen, figuratively and literally.

[lovedejj_xo]

You’re 30. Its not rocket science you either have control of your finances or you don’t. You already communicated multiple times to your girlfriend about her problematic spending habits. I’d run fast because it’s only going to get worse especially if someone helped her and she literally put herself back in the same spot. I’m 25 and saving to buy property currently…. prioritizing isn’t hard. She doesn’t care or want to save…. leave her or love her for who she is.

[slatyb]

You tell her that she needs to meet her obligations or you are out. She should be making a direct deposit from her paycheck to cover her prob of the rent. If she won't admit that she has a problem, b then I would be out. A financially irresponsible spouse can ruin your life.

[LikeALog]

She's not going to change if you haven't be able by now to get her to change. She's more concerned about herself than the two of you. Her money is her money. Your money is not yours, it's our money.

Either expect to live with this situation indefinitely or dump her.

[Anonymous]

Imagine what being married to her would be like. Or if you had children with her.
As it is, you can choose not to live with her. The alternative is to accept hey ignorance and take control of the rent. You pay for that but don't pay the utilities or food. See if you can get her to take control of some other area.

[bamesjond0069]

Just be the one responsible. Why don't you pay the rent and she just pays you? Really why not have her paycheck go to your account, pay all her bills and then cut her back what's left. Tbh this is what a man should do anyways because this is a mans job is to be in control of finances. Not only will stress levels of both of you decrease, she will feel safe with you and find you extra attractive, you will feel more masculine and sexual enjoyment will go up up up for both of you.

[AviatorTom]

Take charge of your joint expenses, like rent. Put together a spending plan, review it with her, and then follow it. Some people are not that good with money and need guidance, and someone to take care of things for them.

[Anonymous]

Well, do you want to live with someone like that?
It seems you did pretty much all you could. Unless you want a live-in girlfriend (girlfriend living rent free in exchange for regular sex) there are only few choices such as evicting her (an asshole thing to do honestly), move to a cheaper place instead or break up.

[RasmusAiken]

She's a sociopath. Dump her and don't ever look back.

[exitseven]

The first thing I would do is not marry her if she does not shape up. My wife and I are both very responsible with money and I think it is one of the reasons we have had such a good (not perfect) marriage.

[pleasestopthis]

You pick up your stuff and move on your own. You won't be able to get anywhere in life if you live with an irresponsible person who only knows how to get indebted. She'll suck all the money out of you.

[Anonymous]

you're wrong she's right. if those credit cards don't get paid that kind of debt will fuck her up and you up in the long run especially with the interest rate late fees etc and it will screw you up when getting a mortgage. fuck the rent because there will always be some greedy slumlord looking to screw you over

[HawkPerception]

She's more than bad with money. She's bad for you. You need to have an ultimatum with her. If she fails to provide her share in the future, she's meant for the streets.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need to come to terms with the fact that things aren’t likely to change, so you have a choice to make. Live like that and get deeper, or get out.

[TheFlak38]

Nice sucker. Dumpah now and dumpah fast.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/oNsuS1ZV8NY

[Staximus]

Sounds like you need a better job so you can afford the rent on your own, and a better girlfriend

[TsAubreyKate]

Always choose money it’ll take better care of you than anyone

[Laciandmaci]

RUN>>>>>>>>>>>NOW

[In_Trance]

Never combine your finances