The "I'm a nice guy" card

Anonymous

The

So many times have I read and heard of men who are in the friend zone, blame the women for them being friend zoned. Most of the popular reasons I see are that men say girls just go for the "bad boys"

Then, men pull out the "I am a nice guy" card and complain that all nice guys finish last.

The "I'm a nice guy" card

And they say so many times that they are nice guys and blame women.

The "I'm a nice guy" card

There is this victimization in men who are friendzoned and they claim they are too nice.

Sometimes, they do not let their feelings be known to the girl or even ask her out yet these guys will act bitter. Guys can not blame her if she does not know.

The guy will act like "woe is me, the girl I like will not like me because I'm in the friend zone." Newsflash! Women get friend zoned too.

The "I'm a nice guy" card

Do guys fall in love with every nice girl they know? No. So it works the same way with women. I'm pretty sure guys have been friendzoned have friendzoned women too.

For the guys who do ask a girl out and let his feelings be known, not every girl who rejects you is going for a bad boy. That so called bad boy could be a good guy who showed his good character through actions not just words.

If nice guys feel a girl should fall in love with him in return then that guy is not a nice guy

How do you know that every girl you like who does not like you is with a guy just because he is bad?

The "I'm a nice guy" card

This may surprise you guys but women do like nice guys. A nice guy shows it in his actions not his words. A guy can claim he is a nice guy all day it does not mean anything if he does not show it.

Rejection is a part of life. Getting friend zoned by a girl and going behind her back and bashing her shows poor sportsmanship and shows the guy can not deal with rejection.

The "I'm a nice guy" card
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Dipsy
    It's just that those so called 'nice guys' aren't really nice at all (mostly). They just act very nice to get a girl, not just for the sake of being nice. It has to be genuine! Otherwise eventually a women will see it and she will think you tricked her or something.

    Also, the nice guys mostly aren't confident. Women want a strong confident man. See it as this:
    On one end you have the bad boys, and the other end the nice guys. Women want a mix between them, the confident gentleman.

    [BadBoys]--------------->[ConfidentGentleman]<---------------[NiceGuy]
    LikeDisagree 17 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • this is perfect too.

    • Dipsy

      @VampireEmpress Thank you!
      Holy poo, I just saw I got 10 upvotes in total, new record! XD

Most Helpful Girl

  • Anonymous
    Anyone who makes someone feel bad for not wanting to date them isn't 'nice' at all so it's kind of bullshit.
    LikeDisagree 12 People
    Is this still revelant?

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What Girls & Guys Said

1341
  • dartmaul15
    finally someone who gets it.
    A real nice guy doesn't need to say it, it's just natural for him to act like that. A fake nice guy need to create the illusion of niceness by saying he's a nice guy. And 9/10 times the fake nice guy only act nic because he hope to benefit from it.
    Like 7 People
  • muspelhem_5
    The thing I hate is that when I reject a woman, I feel damn guilty about it, and I sure as hell don't ridicule her or shame her online or whatever.

    But I keep hearing this triumphant, condescending tone online from women about rejecting men and how some men are not worthy of them.

    I KNOW women have a lot of fish to sort through, but... it's just so hateful and it certainly doesn't make you look better.
    Like 10 People
    • Yea that is no excuse. Its just another double standard. We are supposed to take their insults and rejections with a smile. Meanwhile they think they have every right to insult dehumanize and humiliate us.

    • ras144

      What the hell are you going on about?

    • @ras144: The male experience of mating. Not the same as the female one.

  • AdenKayStark
    It's simple Woman like projects and problems to fix. Girls like what they can't see. It's simple if you know you shouldn't like something thats bad you will force yourself to believe you dont psychologically suppressing it into the unconscious. But bad guys are like the forbidden Apple for women they want it knowing it's going to cause problems. But these problems are what women like to have. My mum can pick faults with me over the tiniest things when she seems like she's finished her daily problems. Nice Guys cause girls hardly no problems which is why woman dont like them. It's scientific proof woman are atrracTed to men who put them through emotional rollercoaster. At one minute he's all complimentary then the second he's inside your sister ( Im exaggerating). Bad guys are the crux of a woman's insecurity and insecurity is always in there minds. Woman try to fix this insecurity and by doing so they have to change these bad boys. Woman place more focus on things that make them insecure like there face (Make up) and there weight (Gym) so if a bad guy makes her jealous and small he's going to be wanted until she gets rid of this insecurity. Anyway im my opinion im nice but generally nice guys shouldn't be seen as nice straight away. Nice Guys become animals when it's break up time so in theory they were never nice as nice as the claimed. Bad Guys trump Good guys during courting phase and dating but in marriage girls run to nice guys. Because they've had there dose of bad boys and now want a father who will stick around. In my opinion you can't say your a nice guy just like you can't say your an honest person. It's for other people to judge you on these traits.
    Like 2 People
    • Anonymous

      Bad boys show confidence which is what nice guys do not show. Of course the girl does not know he is a bad guy, she just likes the quality of self confidence which is found in bad boys

    • Anonymous

      I think nice guys come across as desperate to some women so it's a qualify I think found in some men that will turn any women off. To be fair if a guy is attractive or not, being desperate is unattractive

    • That's your problem if a man is a Gentleman women consider them desperate and clingy yet if a guy is disrespectful he's confident? Wtf how about viewing confidence in a different light. Society labels confident people as mavericks and people who go aagainst norms. But why isn't confidence conveyed through opening her car doors or speaking respectfully? This is why every guy should become more ruthless and I say this because it's always jerks and players that on her mind. Women attach good traits to bad boys such as confidence how About arrogance? But for good guys e. g. Desperate instead of thoughtful/considerate. Hollywood has fucked with your mind and many girls too. I say BAN CHICKFLICKS haha. Players are conveyed as cool and women try to apply this to real life players because they think they can change him lol.

  • Nuqood
    Most self-professed nice guys were raised by single women and never learned how to be men, so they think it's their duty to shower a woman with love and affection all the time and let her walk all over him, acting as if being her lap dog is what she wants, then wonders why she goes for the guy holding the leash instead.

    I blame single mothers for this epidemic, and I blame the internet for allowing these losers a forum to discuss their troubles.
    LikeDisagree 12 People
    • youknowitt

      While men who were raised by their fathers screw women over. Hmm...

      In a person's life, there should always be a balance, especially in upbringing.

      An individual needs a mother and father figure to be raised properly.

    • Nuqood

      @youknowitt Lol? That was a poor attempt at duality.

      When did I say that a motherless home was ideal? I think you need to work on letting your emotions get the better of you, especially when going as far as to put words in other people's mouths. Just because your knee jerks doesn't mean you have to yelp.

      Realistically a woman will never able to raise a man like a man can. Why do you think so many children of fatherless homes join gangs?

    • youknowitt

      Look at it this way... how did the home become fatherless? Why, it's because there was a man who walked away.

      It's just a dumb cycle.

      You should have nothing against most single mothers who strive hard to raise their children on their own.

      My mother's one of them. Most of the time, it's the father to blame because they think so high of themselves.

    • Show All
  • mangaka92
    I don't get it. I hear women doing the same thing claiming that they're "great girls" or "I'm actually really nice" and things like that even though they act like witches...
    It's really just the "I'm a nice person" card and not a guy or girl specific thing.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
    • Anonymous

      Yes I left that out I was going to write that people pull the victimization card and never really look at the big picture

    • mangaka92

      Oh okay, I see.

  • VictoriousSausage
    I'm a nice guy, i used to get really badly rejected all the time, but thats because i didn't understand how the dating game worked, guys, always take a step back in love, make sure you know what you're doing and that you're happy with it, and that it looks normal, girls like to be treated like normal people, just like guys do, so just do that, make it casual, not like a religious worshiping ceremony, have fun.
    LikeDisagree 7 People
    • I very much agree with this...
      All the guys who downvoted you - kind of obvious that they don't understand a word of what you said. Haha
      (Even though it's very simple.)

  • Kirah
    The last claim about "girls can be friendzoned too" may be true, but it doesn't happen nearly as often. To be friendzoned, you'd have to ask someone out, and it seems that girls generally avoid doing that.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
    • Anonymous

      If you read my take you would have saw that there are 2 types of guys who feel they have been friend zoned. The first I mentioned are men who feel friend zoned who do not ask the girl out or let their feelings be known.

    • Girls get freindZoned in a different way it's more like actions the guy makes like calling her his sister that's exactly what I do. my girlfriend asked me out she could of easily been freindzoned had she not been hot. I've freindzoned lots of girks that are thirsty so I wouldn't say it's not common it's just more secretive and done quietly.

  • DarkHumorRUs
    1) Actually there of plenty of guys who "fall in love" with a girl just because she's attractive and nice and they spend some time together. It's especially common among guys who are forever alone or get friendzoned all the time.

    2) The reason nice guys don't matter is because THE VAST MAJORITY OF HUMANS ARE NICE, whether you wanna believe it or not. Being nice isn't a rare quality.
    Disagree 2 People
    • Anonymous

      I never said it was a rare quality

    • Anonymous

      I think the problem is some men and women fall for a person too easily or they fall for the idea of being with a person. Sometimes a person falls for a person only to find out that the person they fell for it actually a bad person, but it's already too late and the feelings are there

    • I know, it's not rare. That's why it's not really something that girls will date a guy for.

    • Show All
  • tenchu11
    The funny part i've notice is i'm nice and treat them nicely. Then I realize... we aren't on the same page... so i try and leave the courting process meet new woman est.. then we start to argue because i'm spending more time with another woman, not giving her enough attention. Then we start having sex being angry then having fun est... It's not til some one else takes interest in me, their ego is hurt til they start dropping their shields and a very toxic relationship starts.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • Anonymous

      I don't think you should have sex with girls who do that

    • tenchu11

      .. not on purpose i thought they found feelings for me they found... then i realized it was fear... fear of not having me around for their ego boost

  • abzence
    My idea about the matter is that most people are actually nice. There's nothing special about being just nice. If people think it's some kind of feat or that it's extremely difficult to be nice then that is saying something about them and their mentality.

    Being nice is just being a decent human being. It doesn't mean that you are special in any way. You are just capable of not being a complete idiot. I think being nice is the absolute minimum requirement you should ask for in another human being and not like it's the defining thing that is the only thing required in a partner.

    Being nice is the baseline.
    Most people want more than that. Like for example similar hobbies and interests. And also physical compatibility.

    Those people who are nice and have problem finding a partner usually have other flaws like low self esteem or such. The niceness doesn't redeem you from all your other flaws. Those flaws needs to be worked out.
    Like 8 People
  • ManuelMarquez
    It has nothing to do with that, cause nearly all women will not reject a guy who is a self proclaimed nice guy if she thinks he is good looking. The whole not liking self proclaiming nice guys as more than friends should be''not liking a self proclaimed nice guy that is not good looking as more than friends.''
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • Anonymous

      Any woman who dates a guy only because he looks attractive to her is probably a woman who gets into a lot of bad relationships. The attractive guy should have a personality that the girl likes too.

    • I never said a woman will get involved with a good looking guy that is a jerk, I am saying most would get involved with good looking guys that are nice, even the ones that are too nice, even though they claim they don't like guys that are self proclaimed nice guys, pushovers, etc. yet they give an exception to the good looking guy. Most women in their teens and women in their early twenties are like that

    • What I say is truth.

  • evenlift
    I am pretty successful with women, and I have no problem with admitting that I am bad according to conventional morality. Instead of raging against nice guys and rationalizing your own contradictions, why don't you rage against the conventional (and indeed false) morality that produces these men?

    And, by the way, there is no comparison between what many men experience (which is not being wanted by any woman) with what many women experience (which is not being wanted by the specific men they want).
    Like 6 People
    • You mean feminism?

    • evenlift

      @RajeshTheJeshter Feminism is a huge factor, but underlying it is the conventional morality of altruism, and underlying that is the rejection of reality.

    • Anonymous

      Actually some men who get friend zoned actually feel that no one wants them which is not true. The truth is that the women that do want them are not attractive to the guy. men who blame women and so called bad boys are the guys who like to feel sorry for themselves and they know Damn well that girls want them

    • Show All
  • aficionado
    "Friendzone", "nice guy" etc. are just lame excuses. 'Love" is just an overrated piece of crap, and has "cheap shit" written all over it. People changing partners as often as changing clothes, and getting divorced left and right, is proof of this.
    LikeDisagree 10 People
    • Bards

      Love isn't overrated.

    • @Bards Love means something else to women than it does to men. To men, loving someone means making sacrifices to support and cultivate someone else and to improve the quality of their lives. To women, love is the squishy feeling they get in their gut when men make these sacrifices for them.

      Love is something men DO and something women FEEL.

      That's why so many men think love is bullshit and so many women don't. It's a one-way street. You only don't think it's overrated because you're on the beneficial end of it.

    • Bards

      Its because they are not getting what they want.
      Thats why they think its bullshit

  • Falling4UTC
    Also, often the nice guy trashes the girl for rejecting him. That isn't very "nice" of him, isn't it? Most nice guys who say all girls want are bad guys, are usually jerks being nice to girls just so they get the girl and if they don't get her they throw a fit and blame us all. I personally have had what you would consider "bad guys" like me and I have been completely turned off them because I want someone who is kind to me and has a clean slate, not a bad guy with many bridges to break.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • GoodDogNigel
    Complaining about the whiners is just as annoying and prevalent as the whiners themselves.
    LikeDisagree 6 People
    • Anonymous

      I'm not complaining. Try again

  • TheEroticJester
    Bloody nice guys. They were just about to ask that girl out but US BAD BOIZ just walk in and strangle them to death and throw their dead carcass into a dumpster. Then girl proceeds to ride us all night while we mass murder the entire town laughing hysterically.

    Orrrr maybe you just needed to be real? If you're a piece of shit wear it on your sleeve like a proud mofo.
    LikeDisagree 6 People
  • R3d_Anonymous
    This again? Why is there a myTake on the Friendzone like every month?

    As I said on the one many months ago...

    Getting friendzoned just simply means that she didn't like you back. If she did, you wouldn't be friendzoned! 

    It's a fallacy, to think you can manipulate yourself out of the friendzone. You can't. It just happens if it's meant to be.

    There are also couples that started as friends. Those were meant to be, so they eventually evolved into a couple.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • MaskedSanity
    Literally every single guy I've met who complained about being rejected and that he doesn't get it because he's a "nice guy" was a fucking asshole.

    Self absorbed, bitter, entitled asshole.
    LikeDisagree 3 People
  • Strider90
    True what you say. But how can a girl know what a man truly is if she doesn't even give the man a chance to show what he is? Do you know what a man is when he asks you out? Or do you believe that women don't go for bad guys at all?

    Yesterday I had the privilege to work with one of Ridley Scot's producers from Scot Free Productions.
    There was this young girl working as a 2nd camera operator. Nice healthy body, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes and a face full of freckles. Just what most guys love to see (and have).
    After a lot of chitchat with her, I found out she's married, so I gave up the idea of asking her out.
    After our job was done we left together for the train station, as we were heading to similar directions. It was close to midnight and all that was left on the streets was the scum of society. While we were waiting, almost alone, I see a short junkie coming towards us. Long, disgusting rasta hair that reach his waist, chin and ears full of rings, body literally covered in tattoos that end at his face and clothes that refer to anarchist/leftists lifestyle.
    ''Yoooooo, Korra! Here you are! Sorry I didn't answer your calls. My phone is fucked up.''
    ''They know each other?'' I thought surprised.
    She takes him, comes back to me and says ''Let me introduce you to my husband''
    I couldn't FUCKING believe it! I was there looking at them standing together and couldn't believe they are a couple.
    How the fuck can a beautiful, GORGEOUS girl, want to be with the slime of humanity?
    Then people wonder why some men choose the MGTOW life.
    And don't tell me now that a guy like the one I described above is the dream of every female.
  • Clinkz
    Yes there will always be cry babies but those are just a small part of the pond. There's more to this in general. First of all that when me and my friends talk about nice/bad guys. We're mostly just pointing at the fact that a "bad guy" has and shows more attractive traits. And the fact that "douchy" behavior is way more effective than the behaviour that is "being nice" (opening doors? sounds more like ass kissing. The worst part is when that person expects "things" after the kissing).
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