The "I'm a nice guy" card


So many times have I read and heard of men who are in the friend zone, blame the women for them being friend zoned. Most of the popular reasons I see are that men say girls just go for the "bad boys"

Then, men pull out the "I am a nice guy" card and complain that all nice guys finish last.

And they say so many times that they are nice guys and blame women.

There is this victimization in men who are friendzoned and they claim they are too nice.

Sometimes, they do not let their feelings be known to the girl or even ask her out yet these guys will act bitter. Guys can not blame her if she does not know.

The guy will act like "woe is me, the girl I like will not like me because I'm in the friend zone." Newsflash! Women get friend zoned too.

Do guys fall in love with every nice girl they know? No. So it works the same way with women. I'm pretty sure guys have been friendzoned have friendzoned women too.

For the guys who do ask a girl out and let his feelings be known, not every girl who rejects you is going for a bad boy. That so called bad boy could be a good guy who showed his good character through actions not just words.

If nice guys feel a girl should fall in love with him in return then that guy is not a nice guy

How do you know that every girl you like who does not like you is with a guy just because he is bad?

This may surprise you guys but women do like nice guys. A nice guy shows it in his actions not his words. A guy can claim he is a nice guy all day it does not mean anything if he does not show it.

Rejection is a part of life. Getting friend zoned by a girl and going behind her back and bashing her shows poor sportsmanship and shows the guy can not deal with rejection.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's just that those so called 'nice guys' aren't really nice at all (mostly). They just act very nice to get a girl, not just for the sake of being nice. It has to be genuine! Otherwise eventually a women will see it and she will think you tricked her or something.

    Also, the nice guys mostly aren't confident. Women want a strong confident man. See it as this:
    On one end you have the bad boys, and the other end the nice guys. Women want a mix between them, the confident gentleman.



Most Helpful Girl

  • Anyone who makes someone feel bad for not wanting to date them isn't 'nice' at all so it's kind of bullshit.


Join the discussion

What Guys Said 41

  • My idea about the matter is that most people are actually nice. There's nothing special about being just nice. If people think it's some kind of feat or that it's extremely difficult to be nice then that is saying something about them and their mentality.

    Being nice is just being a decent human being. It doesn't mean that you are special in any way. You are just capable of not being a complete idiot. I think being nice is the absolute minimum requirement you should ask for in another human being and not like it's the defining thing that is the only thing required in a partner.

    Being nice is the baseline.
    Most people want more than that. Like for example similar hobbies and interests. And also physical compatibility.

    Those people who are nice and have problem finding a partner usually have other flaws like low self esteem or such. The niceness doesn't redeem you from all your other flaws. Those flaws needs to be worked out.

  • finally someone who gets it.
    A real nice guy doesn't need to say it, it's just natural for him to act like that. A fake nice guy need to create the illusion of niceness by saying he's a nice guy. And 9/10 times the fake nice guy only act nic because he hope to benefit from it.

  • The thing I hate is that when I reject a woman, I feel damn guilty about it, and I sure as hell don't ridicule her or shame her online or whatever.

    But I keep hearing this triumphant, condescending tone online from women about rejecting men and how some men are not worthy of them.

    I KNOW women have a lot of fish to sort through, but... it's just so hateful and it certainly doesn't make you look better.

    • Yea that is no excuse. Its just another double standard. We are supposed to take their insults and rejections with a smile. Meanwhile they think they have every right to insult dehumanize and humiliate us.

    • What the hell are you going on about?

    • @ras144: The male experience of mating. Not the same as the female one.

  • I am pretty successful with women, and I have no problem with admitting that I am bad according to conventional morality. Instead of raging against nice guys and rationalizing your own contradictions, why don't you rage against the conventional (and indeed false) morality that produces these men?

    And, by the way, there is no comparison between what many men experience (which is not being wanted by any woman) with what many women experience (which is not being wanted by the specific men they want).

    • You mean feminism?

    • Show All
    • You did a really good job of drawing out the take owner's true colors.

    • @Transigence Indeed. Thanks!

  • I'm a nice guy, i used to get really badly rejected all the time, but thats because i didn't understand how the dating game worked, guys, always take a step back in love, make sure you know what you're doing and that you're happy with it, and that it looks normal, girls like to be treated like normal people, just like guys do, so just do that, make it casual, not like a religious worshiping ceremony, have fun.

    • I very much agree with this...
      All the guys who downvoted you - kind of obvious that they don't understand a word of what you said. Haha
      (Even though it's very simple.)

  • It's simple Woman like projects and problems to fix. Girls like what they can't see. It's simple if you know you shouldn't like something thats bad you will force yourself to believe you dont psychologically suppressing it into the unconscious. But bad guys are like the forbidden Apple for women they want it knowing it's going to cause problems. But these problems are what women like to have. My mum can pick faults with me over the tiniest things when she seems like she's finished her daily problems. Nice Guys cause girls hardly no problems which is why woman dont like them. It's scientific proof woman are atrracTed to men who put them through emotional rollercoaster. At one minute he's all complimentary then the second he's inside your sister ( Im exaggerating). Bad guys are the crux of a woman's insecurity and insecurity is always in there minds. Woman try to fix this insecurity and by doing so they have to change these bad boys. Woman place more focus on things that make them insecure like there face (Make up) and there weight (Gym) so if a bad guy makes her jealous and small he's going to be wanted until she gets rid of this insecurity. Anyway im my opinion im nice but generally nice guys shouldn't be seen as nice straight away. Nice Guys become animals when it's break up time so in theory they were never nice as nice as the claimed. Bad Guys trump Good guys during courting phase and dating but in marriage girls run to nice guys. Because they've had there dose of bad boys and now want a father who will stick around. In my opinion you can't say your a nice guy just like you can't say your an honest person. It's for other people to judge you on these traits.

    • Bad boys show confidence which is what nice guys do not show. Of course the girl does not know he is a bad guy, she just likes the quality of self confidence which is found in bad boys

    • I think nice guys come across as desperate to some women so it's a qualify I think found in some men that will turn any women off. To be fair if a guy is attractive or not, being desperate is unattractive

    • That's your problem if a man is a Gentleman women consider them desperate and clingy yet if a guy is disrespectful he's confident? Wtf how about viewing confidence in a different light. Society labels confident people as mavericks and people who go aagainst norms. But why isn't confidence conveyed through opening her car doors or speaking respectfully? This is why every guy should become more ruthless and I say this because it's always jerks and players that on her mind. Women attach good traits to bad boys such as confidence how About arrogance? But for good guys e. g. Desperate instead of thoughtful/considerate. Hollywood has fucked with your mind and many girls too. I say BAN CHICKFLICKS haha. Players are conveyed as cool and women try to apply this to real life players because they think they can change him lol.

  • "Friendzone", "nice guy" etc. are just lame excuses. 'Love" is just an overrated piece of crap, and has "cheap shit" written all over it. People changing partners as often as changing clothes, and getting divorced left and right, is proof of this.

    • Love isn't overrated.

    • @Bards Love means something else to women than it does to men. To men, loving someone means making sacrifices to support and cultivate someone else and to improve the quality of their lives. To women, love is the squishy feeling they get in their gut when men make these sacrifices for them.

      Love is something men DO and something women FEEL.

      That's why so many men think love is bullshit and so many women don't. It's a one-way street. You only don't think it's overrated because you're on the beneficial end of it.

    • Its because they are not getting what they want.
      Thats why they think its bullshit

  • "Girls can be Freindzoned too"?

    Spelling much?

    Let's universally agree that "nice guys" and fat girls need a loving smack over the head, a brief instruction, and then deserve not an ounce of pity of they do not follow the advice and better themselves.

    And let's dispatch that lie right now. Girls don't like "nice" guys unless they're about to hit the wall and get desperate.

    Girls like men who are physically fit, men who have good looks, have money, confidence, humor, charisma, social skills.

    "Nice" is not a thing that attracts women.

    Go watch Daniel Craig's James Bond. He's polite, he's witty, he's confident... he's not "nice". Never.

    • I did not create that meme I got it off the internet

    • Show All
    • Well said man.

    • And that's why bond girls never stay with him...

      Honestly though, nice is neutral, i care that you have morals, and will care if your dog died, or if I'm bleeding out and need the ambulance. Confidence and humor definitely. Eh as long as you aren't starving and can split the bill, money is OK

  • I admit I've felt this way before (trying to be nice that and not having it work out, wanting to be nice and actually being nice are quite different), but I don't disagree with what you said it certainly can go both ways on the friendzone thing and just saying something doesn't make it true, showing it through actions is important.

    Its also true that there are plenty of people that do trample over peoples good will and take advantage of those who really are genuinely nice.

    I think it is important to realize this and for both men and women to realize the difference between being nice and being taken advantage of, or instead using this as an excuse for why things didn't work out.

    When it comes down to it I hope that my experiences with similar situations helps me find someone who likes me for who I am and me for who she is, not always an easy task. I think this helped me understand something I might have missed before so good job.

    • I have to agree with you. You have to recognize woman or men toy with a person feelings. You have to find someone that fits your needs and wants in a partner. Some that shares your interest and a lot of your dislikes. I see that now with my brother and his wife.

    • You go after someone that does want to hang around.

  • I don't get it. I hear women doing the same thing claiming that they're "great girls" or "I'm actually really nice" and things like that even though they act like witches...
    It's really just the "I'm a nice person" card and not a guy or girl specific thing.

    • Yes I left that out I was going to write that people pull the victimization card and never really look at the big picture

    • Oh okay, I see.

  • True what you say. But how can a girl know what a man truly is if she doesn't even give the man a chance to show what he is? Do you know what a man is when he asks you out? Or do you believe that women don't go for bad guys at all?

    Yesterday I had the privilege to work with one of Ridley Scot's producers from Scot Free Productions.
    There was this young girl working as a 2nd camera operator. Nice healthy body, tall, blonde hair, blue eyes and a face full of freckles. Just what most guys love to see (and have).
    After a lot of chitchat with her, I found out she's married, so I gave up the idea of asking her out.
    After our job was done we left together for the train station, as we were heading to similar directions. It was close to midnight and all that was left on the streets was the scum of society. While we were waiting, almost alone, I see a short junkie coming towards us. Long, disgusting rasta hair that reach his waist, chin and ears full of rings, body literally covered in tattoos that end at his face and clothes that refer to anarchist/leftists lifestyle.
    ''Yoooooo, Korra! Here you are! Sorry I didn't answer your calls. My phone is fucked up.''
    ''They know each other?'' I thought surprised.
    She takes him, comes back to me and says ''Let me introduce you to my husband''
    I couldn't FUCKING believe it! I was there looking at them standing together and couldn't believe they are a couple.
    How the fuck can a beautiful, GORGEOUS girl, want to be with the slime of humanity?
    Then people wonder why some men choose the MGTOW life.
    And don't tell me now that a guy like the one I described above is the dream of every female.

  • Complaining about the whiners is just as annoying and prevalent as the whiners themselves.

    • I'm not complaining. Try again

  • This again? Why is there a myTake on the Friendzone like every month?

    As I said on the one many months ago...

    Getting friendzoned just simply means that she didn't like you back. If she did, you wouldn't be friendzoned!

    It's a fallacy, to think you can manipulate yourself out of the friendzone. You can't. It just happens if it's meant to be.

    There are also couples that started as friends. Those were meant to be, so they eventually evolved into a couple.

  • tl;dr
    I'm sorry, but this is some weak ass stuff.
    The Nice Guy is nothing more than the opposite side to the Jerk coin.
    They both are horrible with women.
    A Jerk may get girls, but the girls want nothing to do with them on an emotional level.
    A Nice Guy doesn't get the girl because he's not putting in the right type of effort to get women.

    A real man lets a woman knows his intentions, is clear and respectful.

    Any man who is unhappily friendzoned needs to work on his approach.

    P. S. The friend zone isn't always bad. Since, I'm married, I don't want women hitting on me... anymore.

    • Honestly, nice guys are horrible.
      Some of them think because they bought her stuff and gave her compliments, they are owed sex.
      Not how it works, brother.

    • Show All
    • I'm actually going to make another take about women who bash men for not liking a certain body type

    • It's all good.

  • 1) Actually there of plenty of guys who "fall in love" with a girl just because she's attractive and nice and they spend some time together. It's especially common among guys who are forever alone or get friendzoned all the time.

    2) The reason nice guys don't matter is because THE VAST MAJORITY OF HUMANS ARE NICE, whether you wanna believe it or not. Being nice isn't a rare quality.

    • I never said it was a rare quality

    • Show All
    • "THE VAST MAJORITY OF HUMANS ARE NICE" Not in my experience at all.

    • @genuinlysensitive refer to the second part of that sentence

  • Most self-professed nice guys were raised by single women and never learned how to be men, so they think it's their duty to shower a woman with love and affection all the time and let her walk all over him, acting as if being her lap dog is what she wants, then wonders why she goes for the guy holding the leash instead.

    I blame single mothers for this epidemic, and I blame the internet for allowing these losers a forum to discuss their troubles.

    • While men who were raised by their fathers screw women over. Hmm...

      In a person's life, there should always be a balance, especially in upbringing.

      An individual needs a mother and father figure to be raised properly.

    • Show All
    • @genuinlysensitive making up what? I'm pretty sure you don't know me

    • Wow you are just a lonely pathetic internet thug.

  • Bloody nice guys. They were just about to ask that girl out but US BAD BOIZ just walk in and strangle them to death and throw their dead carcass into a dumpster. Then girl proceeds to ride us all night while we mass murder the entire town laughing hysterically.

    Orrrr maybe you just needed to be real? If you're a piece of shit wear it on your sleeve like a proud mofo.

  • I'm a guy. Nice, good, bad? #DontJudgeMe

  • Too bad I don't know how dating game works also I have no idea attracting the opposite sex. I don't mind being laughed by my friends behind my back for being a virgin and loser. It's to good be single forever ang give up on women. I realized that being nice is not enough to make girls attracted to me, so I stop being nice and I have cold treatment to girls, I still appreciate woman's beauty though I don't have enough reason to make a move

  • Yes there will always be cry babies but those are just a small part of the pond. There's more to this in general. First of all that when me and my friends talk about nice/bad guys. We're mostly just pointing at the fact that a "bad guy" has and shows more attractive traits. And the fact that "douchy" behavior is way more effective than the behaviour that is "being nice" (opening doors? sounds more like ass kissing. The worst part is when that person expects "things" after the kissing).

  • More from Guys

What Girls Said 13

  • Guys say "I've been friend-zoned" but really what they do is girlfriend-zone girls. They go up and talk to girls expecting to hook up or start a relationship straight away (I'm not saying this is the case with every guy, but lots of guys do it) but some girls just want a guy to have as a friend or someone to talk to. having girl friends are great, but talking to guys can give you a different perspective too. When girls only want a guy to talk to, and not date, the guys get mad and say they've been friend-zoned, well sometimes you gotta be a close friend before you can get into a relationship! Being a friend with a girl first shows you know each other well, then you can make the next step easily, because you know you get along. Point is: don't expect a girl to want to date you just by "being a nice guy" actually show that you are and prove yourself date-worthy.

  • Good take and well said.

    Guys friendzone girls they are not attracted to all the time and don't think twice about it.

    They always want the prettier and more popular girls to bolster their ego in front of other guys but guess what those girls are being inundated by all the alphas and 'nice guys' so get in line and wait patiently and quit complaining. Maybe one day they might take notice of of 'nice guys'... but chances are they won't so maybe the so called nice guys should pay more attention to the girls who like them who are genuinely nice girls.

  • Literally every single guy I've met who complained about being rejected and that he doesn't get it because he's a "nice guy" was a fucking asshole.

    Self absorbed, bitter, entitled asshole.

  • Yup...

    But guys will never admit to this. And will always blame the girls for 'rejecting' them.
    Awwww poor little 'all is in words and I'm afraid of girls' babies.

    • you know one think still men are the one who approach first in most of the case.

    • Show All
    • @truthistruth1 I've asked men out plenty of times. I'm not a coward like most men. =)

    • not asking after get into the relation before it. and you know the truth that most girls don't ask first.

  • The last claim about "girls can be friendzoned too" may be true, but it doesn't happen nearly as often. To be friendzoned, you'd have to ask someone out, and it seems that girls generally avoid doing that.

    • If you read my take you would have saw that there are 2 types of guys who feel they have been friend zoned. The first I mentioned are men who feel friend zoned who do not ask the girl out or let their feelings be known.

    • Girls get freindZoned in a different way it's more like actions the guy makes like calling her his sister that's exactly what I do. my girlfriend asked me out she could of easily been freindzoned had she not been hot. I've freindzoned lots of girks that are thirsty so I wouldn't say it's not common it's just more secretive and done quietly.

  • Also, often the nice guy trashes the girl for rejecting him. That isn't very "nice" of him, isn't it? Most nice guys who say all girls want are bad guys, are usually jerks being nice to girls just so they get the girl and if they don't get her they throw a fit and blame us all. I personally have had what you would consider "bad guys" like me and I have been completely turned off them because I want someone who is kind to me and has a clean slate, not a bad guy with many bridges to break.

  • It's really good to see that most guys get that the whole nice guy and bad boy thing doesn't exist. Just like we women think a man only wants us to have sex with and look at our boobs. Again, I blame the media. I blame the media for everything. Racial hate, 12 year old sluts (male and female), body image issues, the self-centerdness of humanity, and yes, the idea that there's such thing as a friend zone.
    A person either likes you that way or they don't. Instead of getting upset that your crush isn't feeling you, stop 'friendzoning' the people that DO like you. I've seen it so many times.
    Girl likes guy 1.
    Guy 2 likes Girl.
    Girl doesn't like Guy 2.
    Girl complains that nobody likes her and she's always being friendzoned and WHY doesn't he like me? I'm so perfect for him!
    Guy 2 just sits there like, "Hello, I exist."

  • usually the guys who keep saying I'm a nice guy I'm a nice guy are actually the opposite and they backstab you.

    • If a guy was truly a nice guy they wouldn't have to keep saying it

      they would just be...

  • That last guy in that picture is cute tho

    • It's beyond my understanding why you have two downvotes. People downvote for no reason here sometimes it seems.

    • @R3d_Anonymous lol dude its because I dont give a shit about this Take. I'm not taking it seriously. There is no point to agree with pissbabies who like to whine about someone not being into them and just wanting to friends

  • 0|0
  • I completely agree with you. That's exactly what I've thought when I've heard complaints about nice guys and how hard they have it.

  • I generally don't think "nice guy" when a guy says it actually means what the words imply. And anyway, when i think of guys that i am attracted to, "nice" isn't at the top of that list. I expect them to be respectful and have some manners, but really that's a pretty damn low bar to hit. I also expect things on top of that and that's where "nice guys" fall apart.

  • AMEN !!!