Women, its OK to value a man's socio-economic status when dating

I keep reading answers to opinions that say things like "I don't care what job he has, as long as I love him and he treats me with respect its fine."

Although this may sound nice and should be how humans think. It's not true at all. Most women feel attracted to men with higher socio-economic status. I see women get defensive when called out on this because its true! there have been studies/surveys to prove it.


Ladies still want to marry a man wealthier than them

Here is a short video, from the documentary Science of Sex Appeal

Wealth is attractive, and thats fine, but dont lie to yourselves and guys on here. Tell them, yes I value a mans socio-economic status and i am attracted to it, but other things matter too!

There is nothing wrong about being attracted to what a man can offer you. It's only wrong when its the main reason for being in a relationship with a guy.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Some of us get defensive because it's not always true. And honestly I can't even begin to express how sick I am of hearing it. Especially when some of us are in perfectly happy relationships where we make more money than our boyfriend and we don't care.

    Sometimes wealth is actually a turn off for me because sometimes wealthy/rich people are difficult to relate to if you personally grew up poor. My last boyfriend had money, grew up in a nice, rich family and I could never get along with him because he didn't understand my way of thinking, from growing up poor and the experiences that came from it. That's been my experience with a lot of wealthy people as well.

    I wouldn't refuse to date someone because of their wealth if I liked them but it's not a requirement or even a trait that I look for in someone else. I value so many other things over money.

    I kind of feel like when you have your own things and make a life for yourself, wealth isn't such a top priority in a partner.

    • That's great! I love the way you think
      I think it's great that a lady nowadays can provide for herself so the reason she is with someone is for their self rather than possessions

    • I arges most rich people dont understand us because they never had to work for anything in life.

    • @skykidx1 not nessacarily true
      Depends how you define 'rich'
      I think someone who has 7 figures is wealthy while bill gates might view that person as upper middle class

      Also many wealthy people acquired wealth with hard work and taking chances!
      There is more "new money" than ever

Most Helpful Guy

  • Great take! The fact is most everyone, men and women, know what you (and the video) say is 100% true, and as you say, it's totally fine. What is NOT OK is women's dishonesty about it today.

    In their defense, women have been scorned for that behavior and the term "gold digger" has been way over used to describe it, so they are naturally reluctant to admit to it. However, women have kind of brought that on themselves with the whole equality thing and complaining about men being so focused on looks.

    It would be nice if we could dispense with all the nonsense and just be honest for a change.

    • Thank you for your insight. I agree completely honesty is key, to starting and maintaining a happy relationship.

    • Girls care about looks not socioeconomic status.

    • @DeltsBrah Riiiiiiiiight. LOL

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What Girls Said 21

  • The frame picture is terrifying. I would assume he was coming to murder me.

    Here's why I don't care. I come from a family that earned well below the poverty line, yet, I never went hungry. I had hobbies, I had pets, and I felt happy.
    I know how to live within my means. I don't spend big. I save and use money for essentials with minor splurges.
    Now, add that to the fact I'm studying to practice medicine (on animals), I will make more money than I've ever dreamed of.
    I don't have flashy tastes. So, I will save and make minor splurges like before.
    Even when I got my first job, I never went crazy.

    The fact that I don't care about a man's job revolves around me.
    It revolves around the fact that I can save and I will earn more than enough money to live how I want to.

    My boyfriend has a job now, and he's not going to have it forever. But if he did, he would be making less than me. And I don't care.

    As long as the guy works hard and works honestly, I have no cares. Because I'm not riding on his paycheck taking care of me or taking me to the jewelers or all over the world. In those instances, I would care, I would want a big money maker. But I don't have those tastes, and I'll make more than enough to take care of myself.

    • That's great
      But this take wasn't about that
      You are already dating him

      This is about finding someone wealthy more attractive before you date

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    • Just to clarify I didn't mean that as woman are all gold diggers. More in the fact that you see what's important in life.

    • @Northeast106 thank you. That means a lot.

  • There is nothing at all wrong with it especially if I see you falling on hard times. It's my job as his woman to be there and pick him up when he is down, especially when I know that he will do the same thing for me. No woman should allow a man to be a freeloader and neither should a man with a woman. It's all about being a team. If you got me, I got you regardless of how much money we have!!

    • That's true! And a great way of thinking

  • I'm not lying. As long as he likes his job and he makes enough to provide for himself, and his job doesn't interfere too much with our relationship, I don't give a damn. And I don't have a reason to give a damn either.

    • so basically as long as you two will be able to live reasonably well you care more about happiness than money?

      Sounds like a healthy approach

    • @dartmaul15 yeah. All I want is us being happy and healthy, and being able to live comfortable lives. And not comfortable as in having 15 maids doing everything for us in our mansion. Comfortable as in living in a nice apartment, not having to worry about food or bills.

    • @lumos yah, i agree there. Rather happy than rich

  • I really don't care if a guy has a wealthy job or not. As long as he has a job, I am fine with this.

    I don't judge men on their looks or how wealthy they are. It is the personality that counts.

    • Wait a couple years... Those thoughts might change especially whe. You aren't being supported by parents and have to be completely independent it helps to have a partner who can treat you some times

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    • "Thanks!!!"

      Thank You! For being such a lovely person!

    • yassyf, I'm not necessarily agreeing with the myTakeowner completely when he says you might see things differently when you're not being supported. For all I know, you might not be being supported. However, do you not think that a person's earning potential speaks something about his personality? Does it say anything at all about his intelligence? His ambition? These are part of a man's personality.

      And this is coming from someone who earns a teacher's salary.

  • Here's what I want: a man who at least makes enough money to support himself. I'm not going to pay someone else's rent as well as my own, okay? Got better things to spend my money on.

    • well thats a given, in todays society both partners should be able to independently be able to support themselves.

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    • Does that mean split equal? Even colloquialy I thought it meant reaching a certain status

    • @fuuuark split equally or taking turns or whatever. En vrac, c'est pas grave. I'm just not paying for someone else's apartment as well as my own.

  • I really like this mytake. I care about a guy's income too because I can't be going into debt for a boyfriend. let alone for a future husband who might leave me anyway, or tries to get revenge on me for whatever by wrecking both of our finances.

    I think people who say otherwise don't really understand how money works or how easily it can be stolen or used by other people.

    • thanks for understanding. I think its foolish to think "money" doesn't matter in a mature, long lasting relationship.
      managing money is important, and having a man who is secure financially is a big plus in my opinion

  • Good take. While I don't care that much about money I need someone who can take care of himself even if its minimum wage if he can pay his own rent food etc without any debt I'm content but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't rather a man who put together with a stable 9-5 job. But I think people who are financially secure is an attractive quality on men and Wemon. Don't make money your number one priority but it's okay if it is a priority

  • Thank god someone said that finally and that too a man, I was going to do a MyTake on that as well. lol. Its so interesting that while most men want beautiful women and their descriptions for ideal women almost always include physical features they are not bashed for wanting a girl only for her looks. Its called the 'most natural thing in the world' for a guy to want a girl because she's hot or pretty. When a guy says ' Dude she's so pretty or hot' or when even a girl says to another ' don't worry you'll find a boyfriend, you're so pretty' nobody blinks an eye but reverse it and have a girl say ' Dude he's so rich' or ' Don't worry you'll find a girl, you're so rich' there is this whole scandalized commotion. While for women if she wants a rich guy ( and she can support herself, not living off him) there is so much bashing and terms like,'whore, slut, gold digger'. Money is an important thing, even more important than looks because looks fade but there's a good chance money won't, so its only fair if a girl wants someone who is successful, whats wrong in wanting to be with someone successful? ( his own money, mind you, not his dad's). Its wrong only if she's looking to live off his money while he is expecting love from her. I say if both the parties have no problem, he wants her for her looks, she wants money and they satisfy each others needs, who are others to do moral policing? If you think you can live with that, go for it.
    There are also men who want to be with girls because they come from rich families mind you, not just guys, just as there are girls who want to be with guys just because they are hot although this not as common as the man looking for looks and female looking for money thing. So either you create some word for men who want a girl because of her looks too and start bashing them or stop it altogether. There is no way in hell I am marrying a broke guy because 'love' doesn't pay the bills ( combined bills), I can't take his load and I shouldn't and it goes for guys too, although if somebody wants to do that, your call. Be practical and if you feel you can be happy with just money or looks for the rest of your life and you are not cheating somebody to expect more, no problem.

    • Well said. I would argue that earning power does speak something about the person's intellect, personality, and leadership skills.

      By the way, men do get bashed for wanting a woman based on her looks. Granted they don't get bashed as much as women for wanting wealth, but they do get bashed for it on occasion.

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    • @fuuuark Do you men even read what I write before commenting? I said AND SHE CAN SUPPORT HERSELF NOT LIVING OFF HIM and COMBINED BILLS.. Go read it again, I said it in caps now to highlight it. Yes you prove my point that looks are subjective, you can perhaps be sexually attracted to someone you love but not money. Love really doesn't pay the bills- are you ready to live with a begger? If you can then I commend you but sorry I can't. I need a man who is financially stable enough to contribute to our family not someone who watches sports on the TV while eating a bag of potato chips and his only contribution is 'I love you'.
      All you men who fly into a rage and start commenting when you see something feminist should take time to actually read it. The whole post is gender neutral. I have said it everywhere ' same goes for guys, men wanting rich girls'. I have covered both genders. And its okay when a guy wants a super hot girl everybody is okay but when a girl wants money she's a whore?

    • @fuuuark Looks are objective too- most people agree someone is pretty when she is- not everyone but majority. You have all kinds of explanations for why men want beautiful girls but you create a fuss when a woman even says she wants a financially stable man.

      And if a man knows a girl is with him for his money and is cool with it, who are you to judge her? How is it affecting you?

  • Of course it matters. What is wrong with wanting someone who looks after their self. I'm sure plenty of men would find it attractive if a woman could look after their self and contribute equally to the household.

    I probably wouldn't date a man who is wealthy but I'm definitely would not settle for a bum.

    • Men really don't care. Even if they say they do. Where it's mandatory for a man to be able to take care of himself, it's not a big factor for females to be as able. Or able at all. Attractive? Perhaps. But not mandatory. All that is expected for females is at least average (or less) attractiveness and not being a complete bitch.

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    • That's the difference. It's not settling. We just have lower standards. We lose nothing from sex. It's low risk, so it doesn't really matter who we choose, minus STDs. It's high risk for females, though less so in modern times, but instinctually very high risk. Sperm = high supply; eggs = low supply. I'm not the one complaining. But if you think males shouldn't complain, then females shouldn't either, right? May as well ask the sun to stop shining. Which I would totally be down with, despite it's uselessness.

      I'm sure that applies to first dates and holidays, as well. 'Adults should pay their own bills'. I'm in total agreement with you.

    • Men don't find it attractive at all, the only reason we would want a women with money is to know she isn't with us for our money, if we were broke she doesn't need to have any money either as we know she isn't a whore because there is no money for her to get at.

  • Yes, I do care. A man, at a minimum, needs to be my equal, which means he needs to be able to take care of his own house. And if he is more successful, that makes me feel more secure and that he not only compliments me, but adds to my life.

    • "Yes, I do care."

      That's why you're not married.

    • @snoopybaron Not really. Just because I want to be with a man that is financially secure doesn't mean "that's why you're not married." I think you're pretty superficial to make comments like that even though I think you were implying that I'm superficial. I'm practical. You're a dick.

    • Lol 35 your time is ticking, remember a guy doesn't care if you have a good job, your biggest asset is fading (looks) you can't demand a guy with a minimum of equal money if not more if you can't exchange equal value, as your money and job has no value to almost all men.

  • I actually don't care how much wealth he has, only he has a job or study as a way of showing me he can support himself. I do casual work and study and came from the poverty line, so maybe its to do with upbringing that can change the stereotype norms.

    • Is it OK if he expects you to show him that you can support yourself as well?

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    • @snoopybaron I wouldn't care too much about what snoopybaron says. It's practical to consider financials. He's just an immature hater.

    • @swynts kill 'em with kindness. It is a practical foundation of life, which proves most of us has sense :)

  • I think society correlates being wealthy with being successful , driven , a leader , go getter and disciplined. Which is attractive to women on a biological level, not wealth part. But to me being successful doesn't necessarily equal wealth.

  • As long as he contributes my equal or more, I'm fine.

  • I don't think I am lying when I say it. I was born in a family where the father didn't work all his life and left everything on my mother's shoulders. He never spent any penny on us. I disliked him for that and there was a time when I hated men and thought they are all liars. I was shocked and surprised everytime I saw a dad caring for his children and spending on them although this is supposed to be normal. So for me, I appreciate a guy who works and cares about his family and does everything to make me feel that he is a man and our family is safe because of him. I don't mind if I earn more than him as long as he shows me that he cares and working hard for our family and children. I do admit that I prefer it if he earns more than me but that is not something I would look for or even consider when I choose my partner. He could be earning a lot but he doesn't care about me or his children. Intentions and the quality for me matter more than the quantity. If he spends just one dollar but I feel his love and caring from it, then that is it!

  • He doesn't have to be the richest guy but he should have a stable lifestyle and be able to support himself. You'd be surprised how many guys do not fit this standard and get mad at women for overlooking them.

    From my experience and observation , if you're stable and self sufficient and you date a guy who isn't thinking that you can overlook his brokeness because "money doesn't matter", you'll end up with a guy looking to take advantage of you for money and wants to be taken care of. I'll never do it again. He has to have what I have, if not more for me to even entertain him.

  • If I liked a guy he wouldn't have richm I would want him to have a stable job and for him to know what he wants with his life and go for it. I have meet guys that have no job and have no sense of direction to were their life is going.

  • Thank You! This is true, but it would only be received well if a man said it.
    If a woman would have created this post, there would be so many commenters calling her a Gold-digger/Slut/Selfish/Bitch/ect.



    • thank you. although i have gotten shit, and have been labeled a weak feminist man. its cool. at least i have a girlfriend.

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    • @myTake Owner
      People consider you a weak feminist for this? How odd.

    • @Bluemax thanks for the sarcasm

  • That's nice to hear for a change. Instead of being called gold diggers and whores.

    Many people (particularly men) don't understand the difference between socioeconomic status being one factor considered vs. the only thing that matters. And most women would rather let their actions speak for them than argue over it and fend of the endless attacks.

    • Not a chance, if you judge a Man by how much money he makes, then you're a gold-digging whore!

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    • Thanks! Yeah, I just don't want to be providing for him is the thing.

      I have a great job and can take care of myself. I'd prefer someone who can keep up. He doesn't even have to make more than me, just enough to be financially independent and stable.

      It may anger the men who don't have a stable socioeconomic situation, but I'm not going to change my preferences just because some people don't like it.

    • god bless!

  • I'd rather have a guy whose pants I want in than one whose pockets I want in. Some of this "science" is not looking as true as women start to make more money, as well. For instance, I've read that preference in partner age range is changing in women as they gain more financial security,

    • Did you read mytake?

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    • Plus we're just involved in so many individual activities now and parents are also often more intimately involved in their kids' activities. Not to mention, there are so many options, and with the way cities and such are set up with fewer pedestrian-friendly areas, even fairly grown kids need transportation more.

    • well said. thank you for sharing :)

  • lolll that picture above that man looks like he might like men.

    mmm thats an interesting view and understandable. but i personally do not care too much about a man having the same status as me. but as long as he works hard at what he does and i respect it and he remembers things in life cost money and he is responsible with money then thats fine by me. but for eg. if i am a doctor he doesn't have to be a doctor or at least make the same kind of money i do or better. if he makes less it wouldn't bother me. a kind man is hard to find

    however i know many women who care very much about the socioeconomic status of a man, and some who would love an unemployed no prospects man

    • GaG added that photo I never put it there 😂
      Yeah people like different things but a financially stable man is universally attractive

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    • hahaha lol you're funny! %OD

    • I try

  • I don't know why you keep seeing women who say they don't care but I do care if a gut is financially stable
    And I don't want to be in a relationship with a man who feels he does not have to be ambitious and work hard and do better

    • *guy

    • thank you :)
      its nice to hear honest opinions

What Guys Said 13

  • I find it interesting how it's socially ok for a woman to expect a guy to be at the very least as financially successful as she is if not even more while heave forbid a man demand's the same thing...

    • That's part of patriarchal programming though
      Society for hundreds of years was built so the man would work while the women would tend to their homes

      So there is still some inequities that are still aren't ironed out and that's why feminism is very relevant today

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    • Pretty weird how there's a patriarchy and yet men get longer jail sentences for the same crimes, almost always lose in the family court and are expected to die like cattle in wars if and when they brake out.

      Unlike women.

    • OP. You might be interested in GirlWritesWhat. The basis of any form of feminism is that women were oppressed for millennia. To embrace feminism means embracing female inferiority. The only group never to rise up against their 'oppressors', until a virtual eyeblink ago. Or. Perhaps women preferred, quite imaginably, not to die bloody in war or suffocate in mines or break their backs plowing the field in the hot sun or any number of other dangerous and bloody things men did for them.

      Women also maintain the most voting power, in the U. S., given their numbers are larger. Odd that they would perpetrate this so-called patriarchy. Then, I would ask if this so-called patriarchy has been more beneficial to men or women.

      The more equal-centered feminists aren't feminists, at all. They're pro-gender-equality egalitarians who don't understand what feminism is. Feminism has become a synonym for equality. It's not.

  • As long as a woman pays her own way in life I'm ok with how ever much she makes for her self and I have no problem with women who hold that same standard.

    I will not support a grown adult and do not expect one to support me.

    • Well said
      Every adult should be able to support themselves

  • Good myTake.

    How much a man earns does say something about his intelligence, his ambition, his charisma, and other things. I've never begrudged women for factoring in a man's wealth, as long as it isn't the only factor... and this coming from a guy who earns a teacher's salary.

  • I pretend to have less money than I do because the last thing I want, is a hypergamous whore as a girlfriend

  • Totally. I think a girl would be crazy to not consider his career, ambitions, and status in who she wants to be with.

  • There are women who would find it appalling, because it's not true of every woman.

  • I think girls who date/marry wealth are different from those who date/marry riches.

    The first would probably be raised with some money... maybe not a lot but certainly not a little. She would want a man who understands that world, she would understand how much more of life you can experience when you've had money your whole life.

    The second would probably go for a drug dealer or an entertainer or athlete. Someone with a huge income but probably no wealth or inherited assets at all. He would buy her cars, houses, trips, clothes. She wouldn't want the first guy. She'd prefer someone from the lowest economic bracket before him, but the second is her ideal.

    Sounds judgey and overly simplistic, but it's how I feel about it lol

  • Great MyTake! Completely agree!

  • Its also ok for men to do the same.

  • Well I guess it's meant to make sense

  • Nothing wrong with liking they possess a lot of currency, but being with them for only hat reason is an issue.

    • I agree completely as you read :)

  • Women don't need an okay pass to be shallow and money hungry. They do that already.

    • i know they do, this isn't a pass, but rather...
      Hmmm, i guess i wrote this, so they could be honest about it
      So they can be honest with themselves and what they want

  • Excuse me for living in a world where most jobs are either taken or gets taken by people who already got a job!

    I don't have a high wage job, does that makes me a worse boyfriend? No!

    Even if I had I'd refuse to take the role as the provider.


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