It's a good take listing the positives and negatives (which most people usually leave out). However many women are just too afraid of being rejected and too afraid of being seen as desperate
I tried to make it "balanced" enough. Because it's not always all positives, and we have to be realistic with what might happen.
And yes, that was definitely my issue. I didn't know how to cope with rejection, I didn't want the guy to think I was desperate or even think that me asking him out meant I only wanted sex
.. shit, I hit submit in accident. It was also a fear of the unknown for me. I had gone so many years without asking a guy out. And new things sometimes scare me. Especially if they include people.
Yeah and it so unexpected. The first date I ever went on, the girl asked me out to see a movie. And i, being completely oblivious, replied "cool who else is going?"
If a female around my age came up to me and asked me out, I would be really shocked. The first is that that's rare and surprising. The second thing is why would she find me attractive?(not confident about my looks at all). The last thing goes along with the second item. Is she playing me? Is it to get revenge on an ex, or was it a bet from her friends. If I got reassured that she was genuinely interested in me, I would reject her because no one has standards that low :)
Tbh I'm one of those guys that don't respond well to girls that approach me. I've had two girl approach me. The problem wasn't there appearance because I would check them out too. The issue is they come across all over confident it's like a shock to your system I need time to evaluate the situation. I end up acting nonchalant and it comes across like I'm no longer intrested. In hindsight I regret it but the initial shock is unsettling.
xD well I guess some men r VERY opinionated on this topic so we gave ourselves the patience to read it. I myself am quite opinionated on this topic lol
Yah I do think that women should also start asking guys out. Now that doesn't mean guys should stop asking ladies out but if we want equality (and for all intents and purposes my life to be easier :D ) the ladies gotta do some of the work!
I agree. When I mention this, men and women get indignant. "Oh, so you want women to be men now?" And surprisingly men get bothered by this too, I guess it's more traditional men though that prefer "the chase".
I'm not advocating role reversals, just more equalization. Lol Thanks for the feedback :)
Agreed. Many guys seem to think that all a woman has to do is ask a guy out and he'd be jumping for joy and say yes.
But that's not how it is. Some men don't like being approached for whatever reason. And since we're not as used to this, it's hard for us to know why. It's just a trial and error type of thing. We don't know how many women the average man asks out before he gets a yes. So I think that discourages a lot of women.
Then we're told that if he really likes you, he'd already have done it.
And then there's those pesky men who think this forwardness from a woman implies that she's "desperate/easy" and wouldn't take her romantic advances seriously, or mistake them for sexual advances.
I would love to see more women making approaches I think it would be of great benefit to themselves and men too. Sadly I don't see it happening anytime soon knowing how most people are reluctant to step outside their comfort zone. However, I have got to say I have a lot of respect for those women who do.
Lose the power of dating? That makes no sense, but okay, here's my take on this.. Why would you lose the power on Dating if you are getting what you want in a way? And I kind of like to stick to the old school paying for my woman type of thing, not going 'Dutch'. Besides only reason I rarely do it is because some women turn out to be golddiggers these days.
I prefer asking out women, because I hate rejecting girls. When they ask they seem so innocent and sweet. Plus I can ask out who I want which was one of your advantages. My advice to women who wants to ask out a guy is just do it, the more you over think, the more you will stress out.
I agree with most of these points. Being a nerdy guy, yeah, it'd be awesome to receive compliments and attention. Damn, it'd be a real confidence boost :)
My girlfriend asked me out (Albeit over text from Online dating, but she did it) and hasn't regretted it at all. I'd have never noticed her if she didn't speak up. I couldn't be happier either.
It's not that we are weirded out by it. Many guys aren't used to getting attention from women so it's more just really surprising and unexpected and some guys don't know how to react.
And you know that from all your experience being male? I can't speak for all guys but if my experience with this site is any indication most of the women think guys don't want attention and the guys think they're wrong. So who is right?
Humans enjoy attention. Humans like to feel desirable and attractive. Do we disagree yet? Are males human? I forget sometimes. But I think the answer is yes. Next you're gonna try and tell me guys like to pay for dates and wait for sex.
Sure, there are guys who enjoy always being the initiator, there are guys who like to pay for dates and there are guys who like to wait for sex but they're the minority. Make a poll asking if guys mind if a girl asks them out. I'd be willing to bet the vast majority are not opposed. Go ahead, I can wait.
I don't get the guys' comments on this. The girl who wrote this, said she totally failed when she approached guys! Did anyone read it? I was agreeing with her.
I'd ask and I've done so before but I still expect my dates paid for regardless. Unless it's something expensive then I'll pay my own way. Never had a problem with this lifestyle. Past boyfriends and potential ones don't mind paying for me,
@Bluemax I was first very good friends with everyone of them and I'm still good friends with a lot of them now. It's pretty easy for the topic to come up and so I've asked.
@Toad-1 That might go for you but it's not like that for me. Besides it's not really as much as a topic now considering the fact that I'm in a relationship.
Although I do approach men I like it's still hard for me because I am a shy person. It has nothing to do with me being a woman, I'm a shy person. I try do do my best though
It's a reference to Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The show isn't very popular and is in it's final and 8th season this year. But anyone who has watched it becomes a die hard fan.
every girl that approaches me, especially if i happen to not like them, i will make it clear how much i appreciate their confidence for coming up to me. i know it's not easy for girls to do especially with a great looking guy like myself
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It's a good take listing the positives and negatives (which most people usually leave out). However many women are just too afraid of being rejected and too afraid of being seen as desperate
Thank you :)
I tried to make it "balanced" enough. Because it's not always all positives, and we have to be realistic with what might happen.
And yes, that was definitely my issue. I didn't know how to cope with rejection, I didn't want the guy to think I was desperate or even think that me asking him out meant I only wanted sex
.. shit, I hit submit in accident.
It was also a fear of the unknown for me. I had gone so many years without asking a guy out. And new things sometimes scare me.
Especially if they include people.
Yeah and it so unexpected. The first date I ever went on, the girl asked me out to see a movie. And i, being completely oblivious, replied "cool who else is going?"
If a female around my age came up to me and asked me out, I would be really shocked. The first is that that's rare and surprising. The second thing is why would she find me attractive?(not confident about my looks at all). The last thing goes along with the second item. Is she playing me? Is it to get revenge on an ex, or was it a bet from her friends. If I got reassured that she was genuinely interested in me, I would reject her because no one has standards that low :)
Tbh I'm one of those guys that don't respond well to girls that approach me. I've had two girl approach me. The problem wasn't there appearance because I would check them out too. The issue is they come across all over confident it's like a shock to your system I need time to evaluate the situation. I end up acting nonchalant and it comes across like I'm no longer intrested. In hindsight I regret it but the initial shock is unsettling.
Awww I'm disappointed the ladies don't have an opinion on this xD
Nice take!
Lol thanks. I guess I made it too long. :/
I would like to hear reasons of why women still don't want to.
Maybe I should have let anons comment, but there's far too many women haters on this site and I'd like to see who they are lol
xD well I guess some men r VERY opinionated on this topic so we gave ourselves the patience to read it. I myself am quite opinionated on this topic lol
Ok. Shoot.
Tell me your thoughts.
Oh lol forgot that part
Yah I do think that women should also start asking guys out. Now that doesn't mean guys should stop asking ladies out but if we want equality (and for all intents and purposes my life to be easier :D ) the ladies gotta do some of the work!
I agree. When I mention this, men and women get indignant. "Oh, so you want women to be men now?" And surprisingly men get bothered by this too, I guess it's more traditional men though that prefer "the chase".
I'm not advocating role reversals, just more equalization. Lol
Thanks for the feedback :)
xD you're welcome! And I think part of the reason is that I'm lazy xD I want them to do all the work!
Awesome my take! This is something i and many other guys want!
Ill read more later but its looking good! 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Thank you very much lol
Sorry about that, being concise is not my forte. :/
I doubt it sometimes can backfire if a woman approaches men if they are not interested
Agreed. Many guys seem to think that all a woman has to do is ask a guy out and he'd be jumping for joy and say yes.
But that's not how it is. Some men don't like being approached for whatever reason. And since we're not as used to this, it's hard for us to know why. It's just a trial and error type of thing. We don't know how many women the average man asks out before he gets a yes. So I think that discourages a lot of women.
Then we're told that if he really likes you, he'd already have done it.
And then there's those pesky men who think this forwardness from a woman implies that she's "desperate/easy" and wouldn't take her romantic advances seriously, or mistake them for sexual advances.
I would love to see more women making approaches I think it would be of great benefit to themselves and men too. Sadly I don't see it happening anytime soon knowing how most people are reluctant to step outside their comfort zone. However, I have got to say I have a lot of respect for those women who do.
My concern is, WHY do men get less compliments than women?
Is it the men's fault for complimenting women too often, or is it the women's fault for rarely complimenting men?
To add confusion to the mixture, female friends compliment each other on a daily basis, yet males rarely compliment each other.
So if it's a guy's job to compliment a woman.. why is it not a woman's job to compliment a man?
I'd have to think about that.
Lose the power of dating? That makes no sense, but okay, here's my take on this.. Why would you lose the power on Dating if you are getting what you want in a way? And I kind of like to stick to the old school paying for my woman type of thing, not going 'Dutch'. Besides only reason I rarely do it is because some women turn out to be golddiggers these days.
I prefer asking out women, because I hate rejecting girls. When they ask they seem so innocent and sweet. Plus I can ask out who I want which was one of your advantages. My advice to women who wants to ask out a guy is just do it, the more you over think, the more you will stress out.
I agree with most of these points. Being a nerdy guy, yeah, it'd be awesome to receive compliments and attention. Damn, it'd be a real confidence boost :)
Thanks, we women don't have to be afraid. The difficulty is to defy and oppose to what generations have taught and impose in us.
Not saying That it is impossible, but we need to be more assertive and not regret anything.
I'm already hitched to some hot chick so who cares. Make me a sammich please.
Lol lucky you ;)
Typo yes? You meant "lucky me" :)
Oh mayo and pickles too.
My girlfriend asked me out (Albeit over text from Online dating, but she did it) and hasn't regretted it at all. I'd have never noticed her if she didn't speak up. I couldn't be happier either.
from what I've seen guys think it's really strange. I think it's best to just start the flirting with them and then let him ask u out.
It's not that we are weirded out by it. Many guys aren't used to getting attention from women so it's more just really surprising and unexpected and some guys don't know how to react.
@tyber1 maybe really shy ones. but most guys don't think this is hot.
And you know that from all your experience being male? I can't speak for all guys but if my experience with this site is any indication most of the women think guys don't want attention and the guys think they're wrong. So who is right?
Humans enjoy attention. Humans like to feel desirable and attractive. Do we disagree yet? Are males human? I forget sometimes. But I think the answer is yes. Next you're gonna try and tell me guys like to pay for dates and wait for sex.
Sure, there are guys who enjoy always being the initiator, there are guys who like to pay for dates and there are guys who like to wait for sex but they're the minority. Make a poll asking if guys mind if a girl asks them out. I'd be willing to bet the vast majority are not opposed. Go ahead, I can wait.
www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1852641-does-it-bother-you-if-a-girl-asks-you-out here
@tyber irl all the guys I know like feeling dominate... I think iit's mostly guys who have relationship issues on this site.
@BuchitaBuchys
"Dominant."
And I think both the men and the women here have relationship issues, mostly (or at least emotional trauma surrounding issues of sex).
@Transigence why are you tagging me? I didn't make this opinion. @KawaiiPie67 was the one?
@Transigence lol and "correcting" me when again, I didn't write this. Check yourself before you wreck yourself haha.
@Transigence Yep, no reason to comment on mine @ all.
I don't get the guys' comments on this. The girl who wrote this, said she totally failed when she approached guys! Did anyone read it? I was agreeing with her.
@BuchitaBuchys Yep. My bad, I did mean @KawaiiPie67.
I'd ask and I've done so before but I still expect my dates paid for regardless. Unless it's something expensive then I'll pay my own way. Never had a problem with this lifestyle. Past boyfriends and potential ones don't mind paying for me,
I don't have a problem paying for dates. However, when you say, "Past boyfriends... don't mind paying for me," how do you KNOW this for sure?
If you ask, you pay those are the rules
@Bluemax I was first very good friends with everyone of them and I'm still good friends with a lot of them now. It's pretty easy for the topic to come up and so I've asked.
@Toad-1 That might go for you but it's not like that for me. Besides it's not really as much as a topic now considering the fact that I'm in a relationship.
Although I do approach men I like it's still hard for me because I am a shy person. It has nothing to do with me being a woman, I'm a shy person. I try do do my best though
"Equality" is an illusion created by Dracula and his knight slaves.
I don't get the reference but OK...
It's a reference to Aqua Teen Hunger Force. The show isn't very popular and is in it's final and 8th season this year.
But anyone who has watched it becomes a die hard fan.
I've seen it before. I didn't really like it :x
This a very good take. I condone every action taken for making women work more in the dating scene. Bravo.
every girl that approaches me, especially if i happen to not like them, i will make it clear how much i appreciate their confidence for coming up to me. i know it's not easy for girls to do especially with a great looking guy like myself