Why Women Need to Act More Like Men

[James-Preece]

When it comes to dating, women quite often sit back and wait for men to approach them. After all, that's what they've been doing for generations right back to Cavemen times. If liked someone they made their interest known in a very subtle way. A bat of the eyelashes, a note through a friend, a flirty glance over the shoulder. The man would take his queue to come up and introduce himself and hopefully a match would be made.

The problem is.....this plan no longer works!

In the modern age we now move much quicker as there's less free time to waste. Men are scared to talk to women as they don't want to risk being rudely rejected. Women put up protective barriers to avoid being hurt and the men are clueless about how to break through it.

If you are online dating and chose to wait for men to contact you then you'll only get interest from the leftovers on the site that nobody else wants. The decent men are already talking (and dating) the proactive women who are writing to them first.

So if you want more dates you have to start taking control and letting your true feelings be known - the same way men do.

I'm not suggesting you need to act in a masculine way as that's a huge turn off. You just need to start taking more direct action. Men are pretty clueless and can't read signals, so make it really clear if you like them.

Flirt your socks off and go up say hi to anyone you would like to know better. Most men would LOVE you to approach them - both online and in real life.

[Klara-Hitler]

I do agree. If as a woman you are attracted to a man you should try to step forward. There is no reason to stand and watch if something happens or not. When you are attracted you may as well prove yourself worthy to yourself and prove your love to be true with breaking the fear of being the first person to tell "I love you".

This norm of waiting was something existing in the society and it is related to the rather passive nature of women but repeatedly broken through history by women who actively were concerned about choosing their own mate.

Many women do like to remain still and consider the first move one of the male's qualities that they are attracted to. means eventually they are not attracted to a male who cannot approach. even if they like a man as a potential mate they wait to see what are his qualities and if they subtly opened the way and he approached then they will start to show their love.

Why? Because they like the masculinity over him. and they identify a man solely with his masculinity rather than as a person.

I in the contrary like a man for his own qualities and though strongly believe in masculinity but I do not believe in super-masculine traits. I do not see masculinity as an absolute active quality in men, but rather a quality existing potentially which can be empowered or weakened. and every man can and will face flaws.

what is my work as a woman? my work is not expecting my man to build up and empower his masculine traits by himself and then approach me as a full-pack ideal masculine, but my work is loving my man as he is for what he is and with my love helping him to empower and keep his masculine traits as he helps me to empower my feminine traits.

Women should understand, you have to love a man for himself not solely for his masculinity. Masculinity and femininity need each other to be able to show off and as long as you stand without helping your men out you cannot expect a man to appear from the sky and approve your...

[Klara-Hitler]

... femininity.

life is mutual. help your men instead of endless expectations.

[G_Stranger]

That also shouldn't be the only measure of such things. I know a few guys who are irreplaceable in a fight and come through for their families and friends more often than I care to keep track who aren't great with women. Are they less masculine for it?

I don't think so, though, I often tell them that they are because they're my friends and that's just how we are xD

[Watermelonoma]

despite how short the myTake is, i can tell some people still didn't actually read the whole thing. People just read the title and think they've read the whole opinion. Same issue I've had with a few of my takes. People... he never said women should act masculine

"I'm not suggesting you need to act in a masculine way as that's a huge turn off. You just need to start taking more direct action. Men are pretty clueless and can't read signals, so make it really clear if you like them."

Being proactive is not a gender-specific trait. I mean really... is the very act of a girl going up to someone and simply saying hi going to grow her two testes?

[G_Stranger]

Oh sit, somebody approached this conversation logically.

[Frost_Byte]

I could not agree with this more. Women need to be more upfront about their feelings, it would be much easier for everyone (as women are generally more emotional and are more in touch/ know more about feelings and behavior). Women are the experts in this aspect, not us! I just wish that this message could get spread to areas outside the GAG community, as it is extremely good advice that in my opinion could better relationships and developing them. Instead of men wasting half of our time racking our brains to know what her actions meant and if its ok to ask ger out or not, things could progress a lot more quickly and smoothly if we left it to the experts.

[ranma187]

I think Feminism has affected men being men greatly. All over media Men are portrayed as either dumbwits who are only interested in sex. Also there's a lot of shunning towards men being agressive towards women. When I was younger, girls quite often shamed me for even showing interest in them. One girl stopped being my friend because she even suspected I had a crush on her. I was checking a girl out once, and some guy who knew her went up to me and almost beat the shit out of me because she had somehow labelled me a rapist.

Because of this I usually wait for the girl to make the move on me. However i found most girls that approach me seem to have a different agenda. I have been used and abused in various ways by these women. And no, I don't see all women like this.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

If I wanted a woman to act like a man, I'd just date a man. I want my women to be women.

[G_Stranger]

Yeah but ah, your generation of women is a bit different than mine, chief.

[yaddayaddayadda02]

Thank God for that

[G_Stranger]

Hahaha, no kidding.

[ManaX]

I have no interest in acting like a man. The kind of men I like make the first move, and do not at all like being chased.
The type of men you will find being that 'go getter' woman is the one who learns to sit back and put in little effort. The one who does not go after what he wants and let's fear hold him back.

Not to mention, there is nothing more naturally attractive to a man than a woman who acts like a woman. Not a fan of all these blurred lines.

[RedVixon84]

I agree with what you have to say, but in the same sense I don't think there is anything wrong with approaching a man. I believe confidence radiates off a woman and men find that very attractive. Honestly, what do you have to lose?

[ManaX]

@RedVixon84 time, got enough men to preoccupy myself with as it is.

There's nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man, but I don't find the men who like to be approached attractive. A confident woman doesn't have to prove her confidence by approaching a man. If she's both confident and smart, she'll give a guy enough signals for him to feel there is no other option than to approach her.

[G_Stranger]

The problem here is your describing a confident, smart woman, who will be proactive enough to get what she wants.

Which is, is essence, what this thread is all about. You're actively doing something when you're attracted. This conversation doesn't apply to you. The point is not to just go up to guys and say that you like them. It's about not being passive and sitting around like a stump, showing interest, doing something about your attraction.

The problem is that most women don't know how to give clues. They do little things and expect it to mean something to others when, in reality, most of it won't even be a blip on the radar.

[xHoneyxBeex]

Why should I act in a way that isn't comfortable for me? I'm a shy person, so I'm not going to approach random people and hope it works out. It will most likely NOT work out simply because of how awkward I would feel. That being said, I don't complain if men don't approach me either but still, I'm a woman, not a man so I shouldn't be expected to "act like a man." And to say that any man who DOES approach me is simply one of "the leftovers" is just rude and not true from my experience.

[G_Stranger]

Then you probably don't have a whole lot of experience.

[xHoneyxBeex]

@G_Stranger I've been approached by plenty of men actually.

[G_Stranger]

I never stated otherwise. But just because you've tossed a few fire crackers doesn't mean you have experience with demolitions, ya dig?

[xHoneyxBeex]

@G_Stranger It means not every guy who approaches women is "the leftovers." Really, my answer here is not that difficult to understand... have a nice day.

[G_Stranger]

How would you know? You've never tried another approach. You could be missing out and not even know it.

Isn't it women who always say all the best guys are taken or gay? Maybe not strictly true but, the point remains.

Until you have tried multiple tactics or approaches, you can only speak from a limited perspective.

[xHoneyxBeex]

@G_Stranger I don't see what me "trying a different approach" has to do with anything. What I am saying, is that the claim that only "the leftovers" approach women is just ignorant and untrue. I don't need to approach men myself to know that.

"Isn't it women who always say all the best guys are taken or gay?" I have never said that and I've never heard any other women say that. You're not making any "point," you're just looking to have a meaningless argument, I'm not interested. Have a nice day.

[AleDeEurope]

I think the title is misleading, but the content of it is true. Just like in life, if you want something you gotta go get it yourself, no one's gonna bring it to you in a silver plate, you gotta work for it.
You can wait, it may come to you, but what if it doesn't? What if it comes late? You can't let life decide the things that matter to you, it's you who have to take the initiative.

Plus, as a man, I know for fact that a woman that approaches wins like 1000 points instantly.

[G_Stranger]

No kidding. And women claiming that they find plenty of men without doing so, well, yeah. They have tits.

The point is finding people of quality. Due, it may happen. I may win the lottery. There are plenty if things that MAY happen but, it's about what will happen. If you take these steps, you will be better off and dating won't be as awkward, and the culture therein will be better.

Change is a constant. It is the only constant. This who do not realize that it refuse to accept it will be passed by by the rest of the world.

[nineteenninetyfour]

I think there is still a place for tradition; traditional men and women where the man takes the lead in courting the women. It depends on the person 100% of the time. Some girls are naturally more bold and will do those sorts of things, prefer to even.
If the attraction or interest is strong enough, one of the partners will make the effort!

[G_Stranger]

Tradition doesn't need to be entirely abandoned but, there needs to be progress in a culture lest it dies.

In my opinion, it's too late already.

[molan]

"Men are scared to talk to women as they don't want to risk being rudely rejected"... no I am not, so don't speak on behalf of all men.

"men are clueless about how to break through it"... again don't speak on my behalf.

That said, nice points - however attractive women don't need to do so, they have plenty of men approaching them. However lesser attractive women would benefit from a more being more proactive.

[G_Stranger]

Yes and no. This post is not for the sake of every man. It is for the majority of men who don't have as much social know how or self esteem. Prior lye you and I may not have much issue here, but there are plenty of others that do. This is for them.

[G_Stranger]

People like**

[YourFutureEx]

You sir are our HERO.
Every girl should read it once in her lifetime.

[G_Stranger]

I'm gonna champion this cause.

[YourFutureEx]

@G_Stranger - Cheers!

[Unit1]

Not sure why the lot disagrees with this take. Most of it's content are really true.

[Watermelonoma]

i agree. Its because people didn't actually read the whole thing, despite how short it was

[G_Stranger]

People don't like change. It makes them uncomfortable. And most are practically incapable of it.

[AshleyMD]

I actually disagree with this, I have found about the same percentage of good guys (for me) initiating and waiting. In my opinion, it really makes no difference which one you do.

[G_Stranger]

You're also only 18. The game changes the father you go into being an adult, and the father you are from a school setting.

[AshleyMD]

@G-Stranger well maybe he should have specified because I thought he was talking about women of any age, but yeah I see your point.

[AshleyMD]

@G_Stranger

[G_Stranger]

He kind of was but, at the same time you have to realize that high school is one of the easiest times to find somebody because you're surrounded by the same people 5 days a week. That familiarity helps quite a bit.

I think what the poster is trying to cover here are situations where the parties involved are not necessarily familiar and don't often see each other, if at all. A lot of the time, you only get one shot to make a move.

[AshleyMD]

@G_Stranger well I met majority of the guys online.

[Anonymous]

"I'm not suggesting you need to act in a masculine way as that's a huge turn off."
Then don't use the title 'Why Women Need to Act More Like Men.'

I don't disagree with your article though, but the title doesn't fully match as there is some women who will initiate as there is guys who won't. So should the gentleman too afraid to get rudely rejected be called a kitty by his friends cause he's not 'Manly' enough?

[G_Stranger]

Semantics. The point remains.

Is not a matter of fear at being rejected, I think fit most of us, we just don't want to waste our time playing the games that women play.

Women always want to be treated like men, same rights, same pay, same opportunity and yet when it comes down to it, that refuse to accept the circumstances that require such things. I'm not saying the two issues are 100% correlated but, it does play a part.

[circlebill]

I think part of the problem is that women are most often approached by pushy "jerk" characters who don't give a damn about them. It's very easy for women get another "jerk". If a woman is smart enough to want better, she will actively seek out a better man and reach out to him! She will have a much broader selection of men to choose from if she searches and reaches out. That would be a very wise woman!

[Anonymous]

Why are you telling them this? They're not going to do it. This is why men ultimately have the advantage because we get to choose who we want, women just have to pray they get a good guy.

[G_Stranger]

No, they're not. That's why there has been very little progress in our society as of late.
People don't like change, even when their world is becoming stagnant right in front if their eyes.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Haha Haha, as that guy said, expert status revoked!

I can't even believe you're an expert.

[G_Stranger]

You're seventeen years old, fool.
You got anything to contribute here?

[KBob93]

I love how you put it as flirty. Makes it feel ok to make the first approach. :)

[Anonymous]

NO
men should act like men
And women should act like women

Dafuq

[G_Stranger]

By that logic, you shouldn't be working, you should be married as soon as possible, popping out as many kids as possible, and obeying your husband.

21st century, sweetheart.

[Opinion Owner]

That's why this century is so fucked up

[G_Stranger]

No, it's because our generation consists of mindless fools who are locked into their conditioning.

[Opinion Owner]

Ehh nah

[sp1213]

I'm not chasing a man.. I'm not a man. Date a man then, lol.

[G_Stranger]

If you think approaching someone is chasing, you're short sighted.

[Anonymous]

Expert status revoked.

[G_Stranger]

You afraid of being emasculated by when cat calling at you, dawg?

[G_Stranger]

Women*

[Opinion Owner]

lolz @G_Stranger

I think I detect a wimp too afraid to ask out women. Best to let them do the heavy lifting, huh bro?

[G_Stranger]

That's twice you've proven you have no idea what you're talking about.

[Princess_Zelda]

women don't NEED to act like anything.

[G_Stranger]

Trivial word selection.

"Smart women should choose to act this way."