I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It


I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It

Cheating. Whether you were the cheater or the unlucky one who was cheated on, most of us have experienced a relationship that has unfortunately involved cheating.

In a recent poll on GirlsAskGuys.com, a website where guys and girls come together to share questions and advice on the opposite sex, almost 50% of guys and girls admitted they were cheated on by their partners. Reasons such as alcohol, temptation, and loneliness scored highest amongst why their partners cheated, but despite the excuses, is cheating ever acceptable in a relationship?

I am not proud to admit it, but I am guilty of cheating on my boyfriend. Though I’m an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person, I realized cheating isn’t always a malicious act, but instead a fleeting moment of weakness and temptation.

It all began when I was a senior in high school, and I somehow landed my ultimate dream guy – the captain of the football team, Matt. With deep, mysterious eyes, long dark hair, and dashing good looks that made even the teachers swoon, everyday was a moment of bliss with him. I never doubted that I was undeniably and madly in love with him.

Matt was my first real love. We spent every moment of every day hand-in-hand, exchanging love notes, and planning our futures together. We were set to head to college together the next year, and we had no doubts that marriage would follow after school. Though some would call it young love, the love we shared was real and nothing has ever compared to it.

When Spring Break rolled around my senior year, I headed to Mexico with my best girlfriend and our families. Our girls’ getaway was abruptly interrupted when I met Oliver. It was as if time was standing still when he walked up to me. I had never felt butterflies like I did when I met Matt, until this moment. His French accent, classic style, handsome looks, and charming personality instant won me over – and that’s when I fell for him.

Sure, I knew spending the week with Oliver wasn’t the best idea, but I believed as long as nothing physical happened, everything would be ok. We spent every moment of the trip together, from sunrise to midnight, sharing stories, making memories, and falling head over heels for each other. We grew closer and closer as the week went on, where holding hands turned into soft kisses, and eventually passion took over on the last night and that’s when I gave in. It was a night I will never forget.

As with any amazing vacation, eventually it had to end. As I said my goodbyes to Oliver hoping we’d see each other again in the future, reality kicked in and I realized what I had done. I had cheated on my boyfriend, and somehow didn’t feel guilty about it until it was over.

This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control. I still don’t know if it was the vacation whirlwind, the weeklong blur of tropical cocktails, my insecurities giving into the attention, or if I genuinely was falling for Oliver. What I did know, however, was the pain and confusion that I was left with was something I never wanted to experience again.

When reality set in, so did the pain. The pain of understanding how I could have mindlessly cheated on my boyfriend I loved so dearly. The pain of wondering if I should tell him, or simply act as if it never happened. The pain of the secret eating at me with every sweet gesture Matt made towards me. The worst pain of all, however, was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again.

I ended up dating Matt for five years after my vacation romance, and I never confessed to my cheating. Some may think I got away with what I did, but I became the worst critic of my behavior. I never stopped feeling guilty when he said I love you, nor did I ever forget the feeling of what it was like to be with someone else. I realized no matter how much I loved him, the possibility of feeling that same love for someone else was also possible. Though I never regretted that week, I regretted giving into my urges without considering the outcome.

I learned that cheating is a sign of weakness. Temptation surrounds us everyday, but learning to avoid it is the struggle we all have to face. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and believe our actions won’t have any repercussions, but this reckless behavior generally causes more harm than pleasure. One week of bliss for me could have caused heartbreak for the one I loved the most, and that’s one risk I never took again.

I think it’s important to live our lives without regrets, but rather to learn from our mistakes to prevent repeating the past in the future. Though I never cheated again, I dated numerous guys throughout the years who cheated on me – perhaps it was karma. Whether I found out through mutual friends, social media, or texts on his phone, no one I ever dated had the courage to tell me the truth. It always made me wonder, did hiding the truth from my boyfriend make me a coward? Or did I spare him the pain and learn from my mistakes? Either way, the pain of what I did was enough to prevent me from ever cheating again.

I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It
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93Guy Opinion

Most Helpful Girl

  • Mekkalyn
    Honestly, you seem to be dillusional if you think that you are "an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person". When you lied to your boyfriend for 5 whole years. If you were an honest, caring, and compassionate person you would have not only cared about cheating (which you said you didn't feel guilty until after it happened - a caring/compassionate person would not have done that) but you would have TOLD HIM. Not telling him is dishonest. The exact opposite of what you claim.

    You proceed to tell about your whirlwind romance with a guy you barely knew, who immediately won you over and made him fall for you... and then claim that you love your boyfriend in the same breath. No, you didn't love your boyfriend if some random freaking guy won you over so quickly. Any normal person in love with their boyfriend would have said "Sorry, Oliver, I have a boyfriend, not interested" and had fun with your FAMILY and FRIEND that went with you. It was completely unnecessary to hang out with that boy.

    So, please, do not claim to be honest, caring and compassionate, and also to have loved your boyfriend and then give evident to the contrary.

    Cheating is more than a sign of weakness. It's a judge of character. Someone who cheats doesn't think of the consequences of their actions. Someone who cheats doesn't care about other people's feelings. Someone who cheats doesn't give two craps about their significant other. Someone who cheats tries to justify it. Someone who cheats is not someone I would ever want to know.
    Like 19 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Mekkalyn

      and also the fact that you say you never regretted that weak also shows how not in love with your boyfriend you were and what a crappy character you had.

      I hope, for your sake, that you've changed.

    • Mekkalyn

      evidence* week*

    • dogman8073

      And I guess as a 20 year old you don't understand the he concept of hurting someone to make yourself feel better

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • OlderAndWiser
    I appreciated most of what you said, except for one sentence. "This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control." Temptation is not beyond our control; the best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.
    Like 31 People
    Is this still revelant?
    • Recoms

      I must say you are totally right...

    • dogbert444

      Yes, I agree, too. There is NEVER an excuse for infidelity. This lady allowed her guy to live a lie for 5 more years. Unforgivable. You were unable to resist becoming a thief because YOU, and YOU alone, walked into the Thieves' Kitchen.

    • @dogbert444 I have never heard the thieves' kitchen metaphor. I am a fan of colorful speech and will work that into my vocabulary.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • AskButterfly
    I've seen a lot of negative comments about this. One in particular "you're a wh***"
    What is wrong with people?
    You are a "wh***" ", seriously?
    How many people never tell their partners if they are cheating-and have to live in the regret that they were never told just to go down the road and suffer in confusion.

    I cheated multiple occasions but when I met my current man, who treats me like an amazing queen who I have never in my life cheated on except once because I felt like I wasn't being paid enough attention to I haven't cheated since. Not to mention, there are two sides to every story.

    Cheating, I feel is just an experience people have to go through at least once in their lives... It helps them to understand how they are feeling, it also helps them search for other fish in the sea, but eventually they learn who the keepers are, and who to just have sex with and to not make a commitment with but that is why love is toxic as well. Yes, some of the people who have commented here, I agree with.

    However, to degrade someone in calling them a "wh***" .,, don't you think they feel guilty enough?

    And by the way we are animals how many actual animals (dogs, cats etc. do you see that only have sex with one particular dog or cat? )

    To sum up, I think everyone just needs to relax on that cheating thing because a lot of it comes with who are meant to be with as we grow older and it is us who determine who to spend the rest of our lives with.
    LikeDisagree 24 People
    • DBAOracle

      "I cheated multiple occasions", "my current man, who treats me like an amazing queen who I have never in my life cheated on except once"

      LMAO... just... LMAO, and you're complaining cheaters get called whores?

      "we are animals how many actual animals (dogs, cats etc. do you see that only have sex with one particular dog or cat?)" And trying to rationalize cheating and presenting it as if nothing is wrong... very typical of a cheater. You see nothing wrong with betrayal, backstabbing and heartbreaking...
      I hope you get cheated on by every man you date in the future and then hear them turn around and tell you about dogs and cats... LOL.

    • DBAOracle

      "the first man that I was in love with... cheated on me many fucking times, and acted as if it never hurt me and I was crazy about him, so sorry if I seem to come off to you as this horrible fucking person."

      2 wrongs don't make a right. The first man did it, you didn't do it back to him; you did it unto others. Even when a man treated you like a queen, you still cheated on him.

      You dated some cheater, and you turned into a cheater also betraying, backstabbing and hurting more people.

      "think that I have always been a damn cheater" Technically, you've always been a cheater with the exception of your first relationship.

      So, reality check to you. Plus, not only did you so proudly announce that you've cheated multiple times including once on a man that treats you like a queen -who I also believe deserves better than you-, you came and stood up for another cheater and criticized those that stood against cheating. Find something redeemable in yourself, if there's any left...

    • schnipdip

      No lie you are a piece of shit for cheating on your current boyfriend. Just because he didn't give you enough attention -.-
      How to Whore 101

      Nigga, you don't deserve to be treated like a queen. You better treat your boyfriend like a damn god if he treats you like a queen after your stupid ass shit

    • Show All
  • Bandit74
    I love how this whole take tries to paint you as the victim.

    "This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control"

    Well actually it was well within your control. You could have refused to hang out with him if you thought you'd have trouble resisting your urges. Or you could have just not had sex with him. OR you could of called your boyfriend and broken up instead of going behind his back.

    "The pain of understanding how I could have mindlessly cheated on my boyfriend I loved so dearly. " "The worst pain of all, however, was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again"

    So the pain of not being able to see a guy you only knew for a week was worse than the pain of betraying the trust of a guy who you supposedly loved and were planning on marrying?

    Why not just be honest and admit you didn't love Matt as much as you claim and that you made the choice to choose short-term pleasure over loyalty.

    Girls like you are why I think guys who want to get married are fucking retarded.
    Friends with benefits > Solitude> Relationships >Marriage
    LikeDisagree 17 People
  • AleDeEurope
    Whether this is true or not, I felt like the whole story was "you" portraying yourself as an innocent and nice person, trying to convince us that you're not a shitty person, which you are.

    Oh boy, another good person humiliated by scum...

    But this doesn't sound like a real experience, more like a story, which I hope it is, and I hope others don't take notes and never cheat thinking they'll get away with it.
    LikeDisagree 21 People
  • SilenRose
    Dang these GAG users went in on you! I'm not even going to attack you or wish you harm like others. I still don't feel like you learned the severity of this act based on your later comment about Oliver. What you had for Oliver was lust, not love. You loved your boyfriend but you weren't in love with him.
    Like 9 People
  • rjroy3
    The temptation was not out of your control. You chose to spend a lot of time alone with a guy you knew you had feelings for, so when something "just happens" you have an out. "He seduced me" or "one thing lead to another", "I didn't plan for it".

    The thing is.. the moment you decided to have a vacation with a guy who was not your boyfriend. You did plan it. You planned to have a vacation that you'd never forget, with no regrets or limitations. The only downside is that for you that involved cheating on your boyfriend.

    The fact that you didn't tell your boyfriend I don't blame you for. You loved him and you didn't want to lose what you had at home AND your summer fling. On one hand, what you did was insanely selfish. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. But on the other hand, you boyfriend would have been crushed.

    It's good that you've been cheated on since. I do believe that's well deserved karma. I don't feel sorry for you, but I don't think people deserve to be punished forever. Hopefully you can have a meaningful relationship in the future that isn't solely based in fleeting passion and chemistry.
    Like 7 People
  • Prof_Don
    #NoSympathy #NoExcuses

    No amount of eloquent writing will erase your title of cheater, not gain u sympathy.

    Hopefully u learned from this, temptation must be nipped in the bud, nobody can make you do anything intimacy wise (unless u were raped, which would be a completely different story).
    LikeDisagree 45 People
    • skeptic007

      No amount of eloquent writing will erase your title of cheater, not gain u sympathy.

      so I feel the same
      bitches will be bitches

    • I agree with prof don. However I'm actually glad you didn't tell your boyfriend. It would have crushed him, especially at that young age.

      On the male side the urge to cheat is even worse because women are attracted to taken men because they are "in demand". Not to bash you ladies but it's really frustrating and unfair. I remember in my last relationship I was offered sex 3 times in 2 months from random women. I had the willpower to turn them all down but it wasn't easy.

      Anyway I cheated on my first girlfriend at 16. After that I vowed to never do that. 16 years later I kept that promise after several relationships.

      I hope you grow from this experience and don't chalk it up as a "cute mistake" because it was nothing but. I know I felt horrible when I cheated on my first girlfriend.

    • @sdistotallyme Men are attracted to taken women for the same reasons.

    • Show All
  • DodgersGM
    Hmmm, something tell me that there is no Matt and Oliver. LOL

    It's a decent piece of fictional writing, but look at all the people you're riling up. Maybe next time post with a disclaimer of some sort.
    Like 14 People
    • Bluemax

      You know, I am starting to feel a bit sheepish. Looking back it does seem sort of like a drama, doesn't it?

    • DodgersGM

      @Bluemax Haha, don't be! It was very cleverly hidden. Only reason I caught on, I think, is because I'm prone to rcognize other writers. And this is pretty well-written, I just don't care for the troll-iness.

  • Octavius
    Quit saying you were in love with the first guy you were not in love no matter how many times you tell yourself you were. Most people seem to have a very low standard pathetic definition of what constitutes as love nowadays because whatever you felt for Matt sure as hell wasn't love. It was just lust. And then another lust came along in mexico.
    Like 18 People
  • hellionthesage
    Your actions are not beyond your control, ever. You fully admitted that spending time with this guy was a bad idea, yet you chose to do so, and continued to do so. Every moment you spent with them was another so called "mistake" you made, not one but hundreds. You cheated, you chose to cheat, you chose to betray the trust of a person you claimed to love, to prioritize yourself above them, to disregard all thoughts of the impact it would have on them. That was a choice, not fate not destiny not something beyond your control, it was a choice. Never ever delude your self into believeing otherwise. That is an excuse and yes cheating makes you weak and it makes you selfish. Not telling him was not sparing him the pain, it was sparing you from having to suffer the consequences of betraying him, you where doing yourself the favor not him. Now learning from your mistakes is good, however not living in regret? Regret: feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity). If you don't feel that then you didn't learn from your (numerous) mistakes, you are just making excuses to try and lift your ego up, to not face the truth that you betrayed some one who loved you with complete and utter disregard for how they felt. If you truly wish to be a better person then you absolutely should regrett how you acted, its the only moral thing to do. Also don't say you loved them the most, thats absurd, you didn't care about him otherwise you wouldn't have betrayed his trust. He trusted you, he believed in you and you made a fool of him for doing so. Then you let him keep making a fool of himself everytime he placed his trust in you for five years. Obviously you didn't feel guilty enough or where a good enough person to try and rectify your numerous mistakes. We all make mistakes but what seperates the good from the bad is the ability to take responsibility for those mistakes and the attempt to rectify them so that it never happens again. You, by your own words, have not done that.
    Like 4 People
  • Hidden_P
    Well that was a bit pointless.

    So you went on holiday, cheated (forgot about having a boyfriend), stayed with him through guilt and then been cheated on multiple times and think that makes it all okay and that you understand both sides.

    Maybe karma. Maybe your attitude changed after you cheated which meant you could be walked all over.

    Either way, it sounds like you haven't fully accepted responsibility for cheating. You still make it sound like you were in the right. You weren't. If you took being treated on well it means they meant nothing to you.

    Love, I hate to break it to you but some of us had it harder. My boyfriend cheated on me after 5 years with a child. I had been a carer for my amputee father for a year and got the first job I could and he left me within a week for his teenager. Told me over text the coward.

    Don't try and justify cheating. You were weak, you didn't have the balls to speak to your boyfriend and you certainly didn't care enough to break up with him.

    At least I had the courage to hold my head up high and keep going. I didn't spoil anything by opening my legs, and I certainly didn't turn my head. My ex doesn't define me - it defines him. Just like your story defines you.
    LikeDisagree 5 People
  • Bliss-taylor
    I've never cheated and never would. Everyone can fall to temptation you are correct but I'm strong enough to not put myself in a position where I would do that. Initially reading your story I wanted to tell you how insensitive you are. I still feel that way. I don't understand how you couldn't tell that your feelings were wrong knowing you left the guy you love back home missing you. You don't just forget someone. You never loved him. Not because you cheated but because you didn't care about how he'd feel what he was doing at home wanting you. Nothing. You got carried away by a spring fling that was never gonna go anywhere. I do believe you can cheat and love someone but you cheated in everyway sexually and emotionally. In my opinion emotionally is worse than a one night screw because you were drunk and barely remember the night before. They might love you and cheat but they sure as hell don't deserve you. You didn't deserve your boyfriend or the boy you possibly lied and told you were single and unknowingly made him become the other man. You're right that people make mistakes and they can learn from them. Their mistakes shouldn't define them forever. You did wrong and you deserve every bad emotion that you had and have about what you did. I hope you did actually learn from your betrayal and won't do it to someone else. But you were very weak back then, I hope you're stronger minded and less self centered as an adult.
    Like 4 People
  • Sara413
    You were young and stupid. No sense still feeling bad about it now. I can see why people here are accusing you of making excuses though. Sounds like you've learned from it though and what matters is how you respect your commitments going forward.

    I accidentally cheated once and felt bad about it for a long time. Eventually I realized it was a mistake and I learned from it and it was time to let myself off the hook.

    In my case what had happened was that it was my very first boyfriend ever. I was 18 and going off to college. We met over the summer and we're seeing each other for a few weeks and made it official the week before I went to college. First weekend there I went out drinking with a bunch of people from my floor and got right tanked. Ended up totally forgetting that I had a boyfriend (not something I was used to..) And went home with a dude. Woke up the next morning hungover and found my way home. Told my roommate what had happened and she was like "uhhhh did you tell me you had a boyfriend?" And I was like "oh shit! I do! Fuck! I totally forgot!!! I'm an asshole!" And then we laughed about it and I realized this was really not the time to start my first relationship. When he called me the next day I broke up with him, simply saying it wasn't the right time and I wanted to just do my own thing. He understood and that was that.
    LikeDisagree 28 People
    • There's no such thing as 'accidentally cheating'.

    • Sara413

      @CarryMeAway yeah. There is. It's what I just described. Now, I would say that if you're in a serious relationship where you actually love the person, it's no accident. In my case, we were only 'in a relationship' for a week and knew each other a month. It meant so little that I literally forgot about him - hence, cheating was an accident. And I broke up with him right after realizing I didn't want to be in a relationship.

    • Sabretooth

      @CarryMeAway is right.

    • Show All
  • Starfishlover
    You repulse me.

    Fair enough everyone makes mistakes, but cheating is a choice. A choice you wouldn't make if you really loved him.

    I do hope you learned from your mistakes and at the very least be a human being and tell him.
    Like 27 People
  • EnigmaStigma
    I'm calling bs on this story, everything about it sounds made up, popular jock boyfriend gets cheated on during spring break in Cancun with exotic mystery man... you forgot to mention you were a cheerleader.
    Like 13 People
    • Mishae

      Well I have to reread her story. Because I forgot my violin. I need to play my violin while I read a story. But that was humorous and sarcastic. I think this entire putdown of this girl is ridiculous. She didn't marry the fucking guy. What she dated for five years. What a waste of five years. Being with other people and that includes fucking helps you learn about life you not so god damn naïve. I applaud her. I'm not putting her down good for you you go girl

  • mutedaisy
    From your take, you sound like you didn't really get away with it. He may have not known, but the guilt was eating at your soul. The guilt alone should have told you that cheating isn't justifiable.
    Like 10 People
  • CarryMeAway
    What's your point? Is this your pathetic attempt to excuse what you did because you 'felt butterflies'?

    You're a cheater. Deal with it. And don't for one second think that not telling your boyfriend was the right move and don't either think that you 'loved' him. You fucking didn't.
    LikeDisagree 21 People
  • Knuckles77
    This is the most interesting study in self deception, and attempt to deceive the intended audience I've seen since Obama last gave a speach. You are self decieved.

    You said you're an "extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person." No miss, you're not. Not at the time this happened at least. Not only did you cheat (sure no one is perfect and we all make mistakes) you then had a lie of omission and didn't tell you're boyfriend, then go on to deceive yourself and attempt to me (the reader) as I will get to shortly. I'm sure you're aware, but cheating and lying aren't honesty. Neither is cheating and lying caring or being compassionate.

    You then state you came to realize cheating isn't always malicious act but instead a fleeting moment of weekness and temptation. What is exactly fleeting and momentary about a week long affair? Nothing. Don't think it's malicious. Oh yes you do. That's why you didn't tell your boyfriend. You know damn good and well he would have thought so and sent you packing. Instead you lacking fidelity continued to accept his love and I'm sure support and money he used to pay for dates knowing you were unfaithful and he wouldn't stand for it and thereby used him. All of which isn't honest or compassionate either.

    You stated you were undeniably in love with him which is also a lie. Girls who are in love with their guys and have high interest levels in them DON'T cheat. Girls who have high interest in their guy and love their boyfriend named Matt don't start falling for Oliver. What you were was bored with you're nice predictable boyfriend who probaly loved you and treated you well, so you cheated. You need to date total scumbags, not stable guys so you can have an endless soap opera, drama filled life. You will do nothing but turn good guys into women hating, A holes.

    You then go on to state the worse pain of all was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again, yet then go on to describe how guilty you felt. BS! That's like me saying I felt so bad for raping a girl and the trauma I put her through, but my greatest regret was I didn't cum and got caught. Do you see the cognitive dissidence there?

    We all fuck up sometimes. I never cheated, never will. I also don't believe "once a cheater, always a cheater." People make mistakes. People can learn, though often don't. You need to be honest with yourself as to why you really did it. This wasn't an instance of being sloppy drunk and some guy put moves on you. It lasted a week. You were bored.
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • Jager66
    You cheated on someone you loved AND lied about it for 5 years? Some people are just a piece's of shit/ waste of skin I guess... I hope Karma comes back to you on this one, it will be beautiful when you get your heart torn out through your asshole, when that happens just know that you deserve it.
    Like 8 People
  • front2back
    Here's a list of why you suck:
    (1.) You cheated on your boyfriend.
    (2.) You are trying to JUSTIFY your cheating to us by writing a poetic short story.

    Stop. The only weakness you have is your lack of care for people and lack of intelligence.
    LikeDisagree 26 People

      I'm pretty sure you wouldn't say that if @ justbanANNAz wrote this take.

    • front2back

      @KENKONG why do you say that? Doesn't matter if it's her or someone else. A person who's an ass shall be called out.

  • pooper89
    I find it interesting that you said that the worst pain of all was the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again...
    so if that's true, then you no longer loved your boyfriend. This is not gray at all.
    Like 14 People
    • Knuckles77

      Yep. Seems like you're one of the only people who noticed that and commented on it.

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