I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It

Anonymous

I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It

Cheating. Whether you were the cheater or the unlucky one who was cheated on, most of us have experienced a relationship that has unfortunately involved cheating.

In a recent poll on GirlsAskGuys.com, a website where guys and girls come together to share questions and advice on the opposite sex, almost 50% of guys and girls admitted they were cheated on by their partners. Reasons such as alcohol, temptation, and loneliness scored highest amongst why their partners cheated, but despite the excuses, is cheating ever acceptable in a relationship?

I am not proud to admit it, but I am guilty of cheating on my boyfriend. Though I’m an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person, I realized cheating isn’t always a malicious act, but instead a fleeting moment of weakness and temptation.

It all began when I was a senior in high school, and I somehow landed my ultimate dream guy – the captain of the football team, Matt. With deep, mysterious eyes, long dark hair, and dashing good looks that made even the teachers swoon, everyday was a moment of bliss with him. I never doubted that I was undeniably and madly in love with him.

Matt was my first real love. We spent every moment of every day hand-in-hand, exchanging love notes, and planning our futures together. We were set to head to college together the next year, and we had no doubts that marriage would follow after school. Though some would call it young love, the love we shared was real and nothing has ever compared to it.

When Spring Break rolled around my senior year, I headed to Mexico with my best girlfriend and our families. Our girls’ getaway was abruptly interrupted when I met Oliver. It was as if time was standing still when he walked up to me. I had never felt butterflies like I did when I met Matt, until this moment. His French accent, classic style, handsome looks, and charming personality instant won me over – and that’s when I fell for him.

Sure, I knew spending the week with Oliver wasn’t the best idea, but I believed as long as nothing physical happened, everything would be ok. We spent every moment of the trip together, from sunrise to midnight, sharing stories, making memories, and falling head over heels for each other. We grew closer and closer as the week went on, where holding hands turned into soft kisses, and eventually passion took over on the last night and that’s when I gave in. It was a night I will never forget.

As with any amazing vacation, eventually it had to end. As I said my goodbyes to Oliver hoping we’d see each other again in the future, reality kicked in and I realized what I had done. I had cheated on my boyfriend, and somehow didn’t feel guilty about it until it was over.

This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control. I still don’t know if it was the vacation whirlwind, the weeklong blur of tropical cocktails, my insecurities giving into the attention, or if I genuinely was falling for Oliver. What I did know, however, was the pain and confusion that I was left with was something I never wanted to experience again.

When reality set in, so did the pain. The pain of understanding how I could have mindlessly cheated on my boyfriend I loved so dearly. The pain of wondering if I should tell him, or simply act as if it never happened. The pain of the secret eating at me with every sweet gesture Matt made towards me. The worst pain of all, however, was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again.

I ended up dating Matt for five years after my vacation romance, and I never confessed to my cheating. Some may think I got away with what I did, but I became the worst critic of my behavior. I never stopped feeling guilty when he said I love you, nor did I ever forget the feeling of what it was like to be with someone else. I realized no matter how much I loved him, the possibility of feeling that same love for someone else was also possible. Though I never regretted that week, I regretted giving into my urges without considering the outcome.

I learned that cheating is a sign of weakness. Temptation surrounds us everyday, but learning to avoid it is the struggle we all have to face. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and believe our actions won’t have any repercussions, but this reckless behavior generally causes more harm than pleasure. One week of bliss for me could have caused heartbreak for the one I loved the most, and that’s one risk I never took again.

I think it’s important to live our lives without regrets, but rather to learn from our mistakes to prevent repeating the past in the future. Though I never cheated again, I dated numerous guys throughout the years who cheated on me – perhaps it was karma. Whether I found out through mutual friends, social media, or texts on his phone, no one I ever dated had the courage to tell me the truth. It always made me wonder, did hiding the truth from my boyfriend make me a coward? Or did I spare him the pain and learn from my mistakes? Either way, the pain of what I did was enough to prevent me from ever cheating again.

I Cheated On My Boyfriend And Got Away With It
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Mekkalyn
    Honestly, you seem to be dillusional if you think that you are "an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person". When you lied to your boyfriend for 5 whole years. If you were an honest, caring, and compassionate person you would have not only cared about cheating (which you said you didn't feel guilty until after it happened - a caring/compassionate person would not have done that) but you would have TOLD HIM. Not telling him is dishonest. The exact opposite of what you claim.

    You proceed to tell about your whirlwind romance with a guy you barely knew, who immediately won you over and made him fall for you... and then claim that you love your boyfriend in the same breath. No, you didn't love your boyfriend if some random freaking guy won you over so quickly. Any normal person in love with their boyfriend would have said "Sorry, Oliver, I have a boyfriend, not interested" and had fun with your FAMILY and FRIEND that went with you. It was completely unnecessary to hang out with that boy.

    So, please, do not claim to be honest, caring and compassionate, and also to have loved your boyfriend and then give evident to the contrary.

    Cheating is more than a sign of weakness. It's a judge of character. Someone who cheats doesn't think of the consequences of their actions. Someone who cheats doesn't care about other people's feelings. Someone who cheats doesn't give two craps about their significant other. Someone who cheats tries to justify it. Someone who cheats is not someone I would ever want to know.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Mekkalyn

      and also the fact that you say you never regretted that weak also shows how not in love with your boyfriend you were and what a crappy character you had.

      I hope, for your sake, that you've changed.

    • Mekkalyn

      evidence* week*

    • dogman8073

      And I guess as a 20 year old you don't understand the he concept of hurting someone to make yourself feel better

    • Show All

Most Helpful Guy

  • OlderAndWiser
    I appreciated most of what you said, except for one sentence. "This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control." Temptation is not beyond our control; the best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.
    Is this still revelant?
    • Recoms

      I must say you are totally right...

    • dogbert444

      Yes, I agree, too. There is NEVER an excuse for infidelity. This lady allowed her guy to live a lie for 5 more years. Unforgivable. You were unable to resist becoming a thief because YOU, and YOU alone, walked into the Thieves' Kitchen.

    • @dogbert444 I have never heard the thieves' kitchen metaphor. I am a fan of colorful speech and will work that into my vocabulary.

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What Girls & Guys Said

4392
  • AskButterfly
    I've seen a lot of negative comments about this. One in particular "you're a wh***"
    What is wrong with people?
    You are a "wh***" ", seriously?
    How many people never tell their partners if they are cheating-and have to live in the regret that they were never told just to go down the road and suffer in confusion.

    I cheated multiple occasions but when I met my current man, who treats me like an amazing queen who I have never in my life cheated on except once because I felt like I wasn't being paid enough attention to I haven't cheated since. Not to mention, there are two sides to every story.

    Cheating, I feel is just an experience people have to go through at least once in their lives... It helps them to understand how they are feeling, it also helps them search for other fish in the sea, but eventually they learn who the keepers are, and who to just have sex with and to not make a commitment with but that is why love is toxic as well. Yes, some of the people who have commented here, I agree with.

    However, to degrade someone in calling them a "wh***" .,, don't you think they feel guilty enough?

    And by the way we are animals how many actual animals (dogs, cats etc. do you see that only have sex with one particular dog or cat? )

    To sum up, I think everyone just needs to relax on that cheating thing because a lot of it comes with who are meant to be with as we grow older and it is us who determine who to spend the rest of our lives with.
    • DBAOracle

      "I cheated multiple occasions", "my current man, who treats me like an amazing queen who I have never in my life cheated on except once"

      LMAO... just... LMAO, and you're complaining cheaters get called whores?

      "we are animals how many actual animals (dogs, cats etc. do you see that only have sex with one particular dog or cat?)" And trying to rationalize cheating and presenting it as if nothing is wrong... very typical of a cheater. You see nothing wrong with betrayal, backstabbing and heartbreaking...
      I hope you get cheated on by every man you date in the future and then hear them turn around and tell you about dogs and cats... LOL.

    • DBAOracle

      "the first man that I was in love with... cheated on me many fucking times, and acted as if it never hurt me and I was crazy about him, so sorry if I seem to come off to you as this horrible fucking person."

      2 wrongs don't make a right. The first man did it, you didn't do it back to him; you did it unto others. Even when a man treated you like a queen, you still cheated on him.

      You dated some cheater, and you turned into a cheater also betraying, backstabbing and hurting more people.

      "think that I have always been a damn cheater" Technically, you've always been a cheater with the exception of your first relationship.

      So, reality check to you. Plus, not only did you so proudly announce that you've cheated multiple times including once on a man that treats you like a queen -who I also believe deserves better than you-, you came and stood up for another cheater and criticized those that stood against cheating. Find something redeemable in yourself, if there's any left...

    • schnipdip

      No lie you are a piece of shit for cheating on your current boyfriend. Just because he didn't give you enough attention -.-
      How to Whore 101

      Nigga, you don't deserve to be treated like a queen. You better treat your boyfriend like a damn god if he treats you like a queen after your stupid ass shit

    • Show All
  • Bandit74
    I love how this whole take tries to paint you as the victim.

    "This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control"

    Well actually it was well within your control. You could have refused to hang out with him if you thought you'd have trouble resisting your urges. Or you could have just not had sex with him. OR you could of called your boyfriend and broken up instead of going behind his back.

    "The pain of understanding how I could have mindlessly cheated on my boyfriend I loved so dearly. " "The worst pain of all, however, was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again"

    So the pain of not being able to see a guy you only knew for a week was worse than the pain of betraying the trust of a guy who you supposedly loved and were planning on marrying?

    Why not just be honest and admit you didn't love Matt as much as you claim and that you made the choice to choose short-term pleasure over loyalty.

    Girls like you are why I think guys who want to get married are fucking retarded.
    Friends with benefits > Solitude> Relationships >Marriage
  • AleDeEurope
    Whether this is true or not, I felt like the whole story was "you" portraying yourself as an innocent and nice person, trying to convince us that you're not a shitty person, which you are.

    Oh boy, another good person humiliated by scum...

    But this doesn't sound like a real experience, more like a story, which I hope it is, and I hope others don't take notes and never cheat thinking they'll get away with it.
  • SilenRose
    Dang these GAG users went in on you! I'm not even going to attack you or wish you harm like others. I still don't feel like you learned the severity of this act based on your later comment about Oliver. What you had for Oliver was lust, not love. You loved your boyfriend but you weren't in love with him.
  • rjroy3
    The temptation was not out of your control. You chose to spend a lot of time alone with a guy you knew you had feelings for, so when something "just happens" you have an out. "He seduced me" or "one thing lead to another", "I didn't plan for it".

    The thing is.. the moment you decided to have a vacation with a guy who was not your boyfriend. You did plan it. You planned to have a vacation that you'd never forget, with no regrets or limitations. The only downside is that for you that involved cheating on your boyfriend.

    The fact that you didn't tell your boyfriend I don't blame you for. You loved him and you didn't want to lose what you had at home AND your summer fling. On one hand, what you did was insanely selfish. You wanted to have your cake and eat it too. But on the other hand, you boyfriend would have been crushed.

    It's good that you've been cheated on since. I do believe that's well deserved karma. I don't feel sorry for you, but I don't think people deserve to be punished forever. Hopefully you can have a meaningful relationship in the future that isn't solely based in fleeting passion and chemistry.
  • Prof_Don
    #NoSympathy #NoExcuses

    No amount of eloquent writing will erase your title of cheater, not gain u sympathy.

    Hopefully u learned from this, temptation must be nipped in the bud, nobody can make you do anything intimacy wise (unless u were raped, which would be a completely different story).
    • skeptic007

      No amount of eloquent writing will erase your title of cheater, not gain u sympathy.

      so I feel the same
      bitches will be bitches
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-nQN-RRT6c

    • I agree with prof don. However I'm actually glad you didn't tell your boyfriend. It would have crushed him, especially at that young age.

      On the male side the urge to cheat is even worse because women are attracted to taken men because they are "in demand". Not to bash you ladies but it's really frustrating and unfair. I remember in my last relationship I was offered sex 3 times in 2 months from random women. I had the willpower to turn them all down but it wasn't easy.

      Anyway I cheated on my first girlfriend at 16. After that I vowed to never do that. 16 years later I kept that promise after several relationships.

      I hope you grow from this experience and don't chalk it up as a "cute mistake" because it was nothing but. I know I felt horrible when I cheated on my first girlfriend.

    • @sdistotallyme Men are attracted to taken women for the same reasons.

    • Show All
  • DodgersGM
    Hmmm, something tell me that there is no Matt and Oliver. LOL

    It's a decent piece of fictional writing, but look at all the people you're riling up. Maybe next time post with a disclaimer of some sort.
    • Bluemax

      You know, I am starting to feel a bit sheepish. Looking back it does seem sort of like a drama, doesn't it?

    • DodgersGM

      @Bluemax Haha, don't be! It was very cleverly hidden. Only reason I caught on, I think, is because I'm prone to rcognize other writers. And this is pretty well-written, I just don't care for the troll-iness.

  • Octavius
    Quit saying you were in love with the first guy you were not in love no matter how many times you tell yourself you were. Most people seem to have a very low standard pathetic definition of what constitutes as love nowadays because whatever you felt for Matt sure as hell wasn't love. It was just lust. And then another lust came along in mexico.
  • hellionthesage
    Your actions are not beyond your control, ever. You fully admitted that spending time with this guy was a bad idea, yet you chose to do so, and continued to do so. Every moment you spent with them was another so called "mistake" you made, not one but hundreds. You cheated, you chose to cheat, you chose to betray the trust of a person you claimed to love, to prioritize yourself above them, to disregard all thoughts of the impact it would have on them. That was a choice, not fate not destiny not something beyond your control, it was a choice. Never ever delude your self into believeing otherwise. That is an excuse and yes cheating makes you weak and it makes you selfish. Not telling him was not sparing him the pain, it was sparing you from having to suffer the consequences of betraying him, you where doing yourself the favor not him. Now learning from your mistakes is good, however not living in regret? Regret: feel sad, repentant, or disappointed over (something that has happened or been done, especially a loss or missed opportunity). If you don't feel that then you didn't learn from your (numerous) mistakes, you are just making excuses to try and lift your ego up, to not face the truth that you betrayed some one who loved you with complete and utter disregard for how they felt. If you truly wish to be a better person then you absolutely should regrett how you acted, its the only moral thing to do. Also don't say you loved them the most, thats absurd, you didn't care about him otherwise you wouldn't have betrayed his trust. He trusted you, he believed in you and you made a fool of him for doing so. Then you let him keep making a fool of himself everytime he placed his trust in you for five years. Obviously you didn't feel guilty enough or where a good enough person to try and rectify your numerous mistakes. We all make mistakes but what seperates the good from the bad is the ability to take responsibility for those mistakes and the attempt to rectify them so that it never happens again. You, by your own words, have not done that.
  • Hidden_P
    Well that was a bit pointless.

    So you went on holiday, cheated (forgot about having a boyfriend), stayed with him through guilt and then been cheated on multiple times and think that makes it all okay and that you understand both sides.

    Maybe karma. Maybe your attitude changed after you cheated which meant you could be walked all over.

    Either way, it sounds like you haven't fully accepted responsibility for cheating. You still make it sound like you were in the right. You weren't. If you took being treated on well it means they meant nothing to you.

    Love, I hate to break it to you but some of us had it harder. My boyfriend cheated on me after 5 years with a child. I had been a carer for my amputee father for a year and got the first job I could and he left me within a week for his teenager. Told me over text the coward.

    Don't try and justify cheating. You were weak, you didn't have the balls to speak to your boyfriend and you certainly didn't care enough to break up with him.

    At least I had the courage to hold my head up high and keep going. I didn't spoil anything by opening my legs, and I certainly didn't turn my head. My ex doesn't define me - it defines him. Just like your story defines you.
  • Bliss-taylor
    I've never cheated and never would. Everyone can fall to temptation you are correct but I'm strong enough to not put myself in a position where I would do that. Initially reading your story I wanted to tell you how insensitive you are. I still feel that way. I don't understand how you couldn't tell that your feelings were wrong knowing you left the guy you love back home missing you. You don't just forget someone. You never loved him. Not because you cheated but because you didn't care about how he'd feel what he was doing at home wanting you. Nothing. You got carried away by a spring fling that was never gonna go anywhere. I do believe you can cheat and love someone but you cheated in everyway sexually and emotionally. In my opinion emotionally is worse than a one night screw because you were drunk and barely remember the night before. They might love you and cheat but they sure as hell don't deserve you. You didn't deserve your boyfriend or the boy you possibly lied and told you were single and unknowingly made him become the other man. You're right that people make mistakes and they can learn from them. Their mistakes shouldn't define them forever. You did wrong and you deserve every bad emotion that you had and have about what you did. I hope you did actually learn from your betrayal and won't do it to someone else. But you were very weak back then, I hope you're stronger minded and less self centered as an adult.
  • Sara413
    You were young and stupid. No sense still feeling bad about it now. I can see why people here are accusing you of making excuses though. Sounds like you've learned from it though and what matters is how you respect your commitments going forward.

    I accidentally cheated once and felt bad about it for a long time. Eventually I realized it was a mistake and I learned from it and it was time to let myself off the hook.

    In my case what had happened was that it was my very first boyfriend ever. I was 18 and going off to college. We met over the summer and we're seeing each other for a few weeks and made it official the week before I went to college. First weekend there I went out drinking with a bunch of people from my floor and got right tanked. Ended up totally forgetting that I had a boyfriend (not something I was used to..) And went home with a dude. Woke up the next morning hungover and found my way home. Told my roommate what had happened and she was like "uhhhh did you tell me you had a boyfriend?" And I was like "oh shit! I do! Fuck! I totally forgot!!! I'm an asshole!" And then we laughed about it and I realized this was really not the time to start my first relationship. When he called me the next day I broke up with him, simply saying it wasn't the right time and I wanted to just do my own thing. He understood and that was that.
    • There's no such thing as 'accidentally cheating'.

    • Sara413

      @CarryMeAway yeah. There is. It's what I just described. Now, I would say that if you're in a serious relationship where you actually love the person, it's no accident. In my case, we were only 'in a relationship' for a week and knew each other a month. It meant so little that I literally forgot about him - hence, cheating was an accident. And I broke up with him right after realizing I didn't want to be in a relationship.

    • Sabretooth

      @CarryMeAway is right.

    • Show All
  • Starfishlover
    You repulse me.

    Fair enough everyone makes mistakes, but cheating is a choice. A choice you wouldn't make if you really loved him.

    I do hope you learned from your mistakes and at the very least be a human being and tell him.
  • EnigmaStigma
    I'm calling bs on this story, everything about it sounds made up, popular jock boyfriend gets cheated on during spring break in Cancun with exotic mystery man... you forgot to mention you were a cheerleader.
    • Mishae

      Well I have to reread her story. Because I forgot my violin. I need to play my violin while I read a story. But that was humorous and sarcastic. I think this entire putdown of this girl is ridiculous. She didn't marry the fucking guy. What she dated for five years. What a waste of five years. Being with other people and that includes fucking helps you learn about life you not so god damn naïve. I applaud her. I'm not putting her down good for you you go girl

  • mutedaisy
    From your take, you sound like you didn't really get away with it. He may have not known, but the guilt was eating at your soul. The guilt alone should have told you that cheating isn't justifiable.
  • CarryMeAway
    What's your point? Is this your pathetic attempt to excuse what you did because you 'felt butterflies'?

    You're a cheater. Deal with it. And don't for one second think that not telling your boyfriend was the right move and don't either think that you 'loved' him. You fucking didn't.
  • Knuckles77
    This is the most interesting study in self deception, and attempt to deceive the intended audience I've seen since Obama last gave a speach. You are self decieved.

    You said you're an "extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person." No miss, you're not. Not at the time this happened at least. Not only did you cheat (sure no one is perfect and we all make mistakes) you then had a lie of omission and didn't tell you're boyfriend, then go on to deceive yourself and attempt to me (the reader) as I will get to shortly. I'm sure you're aware, but cheating and lying aren't honesty. Neither is cheating and lying caring or being compassionate.

    You then state you came to realize cheating isn't always malicious act but instead a fleeting moment of weekness and temptation. What is exactly fleeting and momentary about a week long affair? Nothing. Don't think it's malicious. Oh yes you do. That's why you didn't tell your boyfriend. You know damn good and well he would have thought so and sent you packing. Instead you lacking fidelity continued to accept his love and I'm sure support and money he used to pay for dates knowing you were unfaithful and he wouldn't stand for it and thereby used him. All of which isn't honest or compassionate either.

    You stated you were undeniably in love with him which is also a lie. Girls who are in love with their guys and have high interest levels in them DON'T cheat. Girls who have high interest in their guy and love their boyfriend named Matt don't start falling for Oliver. What you were was bored with you're nice predictable boyfriend who probaly loved you and treated you well, so you cheated. You need to date total scumbags, not stable guys so you can have an endless soap opera, drama filled life. You will do nothing but turn good guys into women hating, A holes.

    You then go on to state the worse pain of all was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again, yet then go on to describe how guilty you felt. BS! That's like me saying I felt so bad for raping a girl and the trauma I put her through, but my greatest regret was I didn't cum and got caught. Do you see the cognitive dissidence there?

    We all fuck up sometimes. I never cheated, never will. I also don't believe "once a cheater, always a cheater." People make mistakes. People can learn, though often don't. You need to be honest with yourself as to why you really did it. This wasn't an instance of being sloppy drunk and some guy put moves on you. It lasted a week. You were bored.
  • Jager66
    You cheated on someone you loved AND lied about it for 5 years? Some people are just a piece's of shit/ waste of skin I guess... I hope Karma comes back to you on this one, it will be beautiful when you get your heart torn out through your asshole, when that happens just know that you deserve it.
  • front2back
    Here's a list of why you suck:
    (1.) You cheated on your boyfriend.
    (2.) You are trying to JUSTIFY your cheating to us by writing a poetic short story.

    Stop. The only weakness you have is your lack of care for people and lack of intelligence.
    • KENKONG

      I'm pretty sure you wouldn't say that if @ justbanANNAz wrote this take.

    • front2back

      @KENKONG why do you say that? Doesn't matter if it's her or someone else. A person who's an ass shall be called out.

  • pooper89
    I find it interesting that you said that the worst pain of all was the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again...
    so if that's true, then you no longer loved your boyfriend. This is not gray at all.
    • Knuckles77

      Yep. Seems like you're one of the only people who noticed that and commented on it.

  • PeachSunset
    Whether this event was real or not, thats pretty damn shitty of you. Stop trying to get everyone on your side of the matter and convince us what you did is okay, because its not. And if its a story, I don't really see a lesson in it, just "Hey, I cheated on my boyfriend".
  • serious
    I am going to be very honest in my reply.

    You may have got away with it once, but that doesn't mean you can get away with this again and again. The reason you got away once was because your boyfriend complete trust in you. As you rightly said, the karma does come back to you, what you do with one person, someday else will do the same thing with you in return.

    Cheating is not a mistake, it's a choice, it's a decision that you made, you knew what you were doing.

    You cheated on your boyfriend and in return of karma, you got to date with those guys who eventually cheated on you. Yes it was totally wrong of you to hide the truth from your boyfriend, you should have confessed the truth to him, so yes it does make you a coward. Of course had you confessed to him, he would have surely broken up with you then and there, so may be that fear of him breaking up was what made you not to tell him the truth.

    Whatever it is, what is good is you have learnt from your mistake.

    However it's good that you have realized your mistake and never repeated it. I really don't understand why people cheat? How people can be so mentally weak to give into temptations? how can a person while being in a relationship fall for someone else so easily?

    It's really sad and unfortunate that these things happen. I don't understand how people can give into their emotions so easily, despite knowing what they are doing, or what they are going to do is wrong.

    Emotions and feelings are very strange, weird and also tricky indeed, many times they will make you do those things that you don't want to do.

    That's all from me.
  • ThePhantom1234
    Karma did you get back, but it got you back through your emotions, it damaged you inside as a person, and you couldn't handle what you did your boyfriend.

    karma actually means actions, for every action, good or bad, comes back on you, and it damages you mentally and emotionally, and sometimes externally, like people hating you, fighting with you, and the effect it will have on you, you will always be looking over shoulder for what you have done, you will be wondering is someone out for revenge, thats how true karma works. By doing bad to others, you are also making your own life a living hell. But if you do good, good things will always happen for you.

    Karma is not a universal law, if you cheat on your boyfriend, eventually someone will cheat on you, that's just life. There are people that never cheat, and still get cheated on, and there are people that have cheated, but never being cheated on.

    The meaning of good and bad, Good means selfless person, bad person means selfish. You cheated on your boyfriend, cause you were selfish, you did it for your own needs and gratification.

    Anyway good take.
    • I am saying this, to be horrible to you, or you deserved it. I am telling you how karma works. Basically you create your karma, mentally and emotionally through your actions.

    • sorry i am not saying this to be horrible to you.

  • krash2002
    First off, I commend you for your understanding what you've done, and willing to decide to never make the mistake again. Temptations can be hard to fight; especially as a kid, and kids of course make mistakes. Which is why I'm glad to see you've grown up, and will never make the same mistake again.
    However...
    "This was the first time in my life I had been faced with temptation that was beyond my control."
    This is absolutely hogwash. There is never a thing as a temptation that is too great for any human being. It's an excuse that you've made up to help cope with the issue, and I'm sorry, but you need to realize that you were just in a moment of weakness where the excuses are none.

    I myself have a similar story, but the outcome was a tad bit different. I had dated a girl for about a year during my Junior year in High School, and ended up going to Cancun for a week with a friends family. Of course; we had our own room apart from his folks, and they let us have free reign.
    That week lead to many nights of drinking, smoking weed, partying my butt off, and basically doing everything that a 17 year old would want to do, but on the contrary to all of it. I remained loyal to my girlfriend, and though I was absolutely wasted one night, on a beach, and a girl hopped on top of me trying to have sex. I politely told her no, that I had a girlfriend, and though I appreciated the offer. It wouldn't be fair to cheat on her.

    Our stories are similar, but I refused to give into the temptation. That example above was one of out four occasions where a girl tried something while I was down there, and every single time I denied them. My relationship with the girl at the time ended soon after, and even though I know it in Cancun. That it wouldn't have lasted much longer. I still refused to be a cheater, and sucked up to the fact that it's better to be a good person than a liar and a cheat.
    • Vesuvius87

      Even better because you were able to still control yourself even when you were very drunk. Unlikes the asker, she wasn't even drunk and still gave in.

  • ClayMorrow
    I won't lie, I've been in situations where I've been tempted to cheat. I can't tell you the amount of times where I've been at a party drunk and thought "God damn I'm horny, I'd like to fuck that girl over there." or had a girl that was interested in me try and get with me. Never gave in though, never cheated on my girl once even with plenty of chances. You know what I did as I'm sure many others have? Removed myself from the situation. Go to another room, leave the party, tell my friends to watch out for me, etc. Sure some people will say "if you're truly in love you won't even think about cheating" but these people have never been drunk and horny. I find that if you know yourself and how certain things/people/situations influence you then you should have no problem taking the steps to control them and your temptations. That being said it sounds like the second you saw this other guy that you knew you could potentially cheat with him. You knew and you went ahead and spent the week with him anyway. That's fucking despicable and you're terrible for doing that to your boyfriend. You sit and act like you had no control, like you couldn't remove yourself from the situation at any time but you could and you didn't and no matter how you rationalize it or try and be poetic about it you are wrong and you fucked up real bad darling. You owe your boyfriend an explanation. Sure he'll be hurt but is it any better than being in a relationship with a woman that essentially feels guilty she's dating you? You aren't giving yourself to him 100% after 5 years and still fantasize about some French guy you fucked during Spring Break half a decade ago. If you really do care about him you'd tell him and won't leave him deceived in this sham of a relationship you've created. Either way, you're fucking wrong buddy, don't matter how you slice it. Don't expect any sympathy on here either.
  • Stazz76
    Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I found your story and everyone's comments interesting.

    I'm glad to read that 99.9% of commenters are condemning cheating. It sets us apart from animals. This moral standard for relationships help keep society civilised, and helps us deal with an epidemic of STIs and single mums.
    The problem is that we are still animals biologically speaking, and just like all animals, the species wouldn't continue to exist without a strong instinct to procreate. Animals aren't monogamous by nature. It is something we choose. Except for the fact that apparently 45% of humanity DOESN'T choose monogamy (according to the quoted poll).

    As much as many of us would like to impose our standards and morals on the whole of humanity, the fact is there are many shades of grey for how monogamous or poly-amorous people are. The most important thing is for us to get over social stigmas and communicate our feelings 100% honestly with our significant others, so that we find someone who has similar thinking - no need to keep secrets. I find it interesting that these days, more and more people openly declare themselves to be 'poly-amorous'. The fact is that some people have always been this way, and it is good for society to not condemn people for being honest - it is better that they ARE HONEST, and then you can decide not to get involved with anyone who is not on a similar level to you.

    Consider this: It's the sleeping around with NEW partners that is responsible for the epidemic of STIs we have. If people were more honest about their poly-amorous sexual desires, perhaps there would be more closed, poly-amorous groups. Group members get more variety in their sexuality, but aren't 'spreading germs' with the wider population. I would have a lot more respect for a person who is poly-amorous but keeping faithful to their group and not contributing to the STI epidemic, than to a person who has had a large number of sexual partners even if it is 'one at a time'.

    As far as the author's story is concerned, my biggest criticism is not that you slept with a second person, it is that you weren't honest with your partner and you kept secrets.
    • Zeanobia

      9/10 bird species as well as the gibbon monkey are known to be monogamous.

  • Bea123
    thank you for this mytake and this piece of information and thank you for sharing your story with us. yes, it was wrong but you realized your mistake and that was the most important thing. It would break your boyfriends heart if you told him what you did, but you should tell him because if you dont you will never be lifted from the guilt. If you really love him you would tell him because you should be honest with him and shouldn't feel guilty your entire relationship.
    good mytake
    • Swano

      So what are you trumping to say exactly? Should we have extra people on the side for just sex and one person for a relationship? I'm not trying to offend you but please tell me that you have been through some trauma in your life or that you don't think straight because who would be okay with constant cheating becoming casual?

    • Bea123

      @Swano I think its not right to cheat on someone you love because if you truly love them they should be enough for you and you shouldn't desire someone else because if you are then you should tell your partner and break up before having sex or another relationship with someone else.
      why would it be okay to want someone else when you have someone? they should be enough for you if you truly love and care for them

    • Swano

      Right, so what's up with your original answer contradicting that?

    • Show All
  • guynextodoor
    i don't know for sure but i do believe that when you cheat based on factors like infatuation or temptation, you never really loved your partner enough and it was weak on your side. and please don't think that you didn't told him to save him from pain, though i hope you learned from it.
  • Crazyced
    "The worst pain of all, however, was the pain of the heartbreak of never seeing Oliver again."

    That's what men need to realise about most women cheating.

    And let's be honnest. The single reason you didn't cheat again is because you did cross that Oliver.
  • the_rake
    ' cheating isn't always a malicious act but a fleeting moment of vulnerability and weakness '

    women often suffer from this delusion that they are not responsible and that they just 'lost control' in ' the moment'. Realistically though, you knew exactly what you were doing.
  • ThisDudeHere
    "Though I’m an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person"
    media.giphy.com/media/O5NyCibf93upy/giphy.gif

    "but instead a fleeting moment of weakness and temptation."
    Stealing an old lady's bag isn't always a malicious act. It's just a fleeting moment when your finger can't control themselves.
    None the less that's not an excuse.

    "temptation that was beyond my control"
    upload.wikimedia.org/.../...en_Facepalm_statue.jpg
    The most lamest excuse ever. There is no such thing as temptation beyond our control. Either you're a good person and you DO have the willpower or you DON'T.

    "I could have mindlessly cheated "
    None of it was mindless. It was a conscious decision from start to end.
    • I hate this culture people have of never accepting responsibility for their actions or living with the consequences.

  • xHoneyxBeex
    I've never cheated but I have been cheated on, and it does hurt. Sometimes I wish I hadn't known about it but then I realize that I'm better off because I am no longer in that relationship.

    I don't believe that cheating is ever justified. It's a choice that people make. I do believe that people can feel legitimate remorse and guilt for cheating, but I don't believe it's accurate to claim that it happens in a moment of weakness or temptation simply because that makes it sound like an accident. Everyone always has the choice to say "no" and to stay faithful to their partner.
    • Mekkalyn

      I hate when people say it was an accident.
      Like, oh, did he slip and fall into your vagina?
      No? Then it wasn't an accident.
      It was most certainly a choice. It doesn't just accidentally happen!

      Frustrates me like no tomorrow! :P

  • kxera
    *writes a take about cheating in hopes of ridding my guilt and feeling better about myself*

    *waits only to receive saracstic comments and the truth that cheating still isn't justified*

    media.giphy.com/media/EjzJxwcqpO2ly/giphy.gif

    On a seriously note, you do you. If this is what it takes for you to not feel guilty about cheating then so be it. But guilt and regret are things we naturally feel for a reason. "A fleeting moment of temptation" doesn't make it any less of a wrong. Just learn from your mistakes.
  • Matchmaker7072
    I cheated one time too. I learned from my mistake and won't do it again. I don't need to type a take trying to justify doing something horrible because most people do it anyways. It's not something to be proud off in any way.
  • Heyyakkk
    "It all began when I was in senior high"

    Yeahhh, I'm not gonna read this crap.
    It's really shitty to have another sexual partner and keep it a secret.
  • Righttobeararms83
    You dont sound real sorry about it so its likely that in some future relationship you will cheat again if circumstances allow it and justify it to yourself and others with a myriad of reasons. To sum it up for your take you were on holiday and it doesn't count as cheating if your in a different area code lol
  • RainbowFanGirl
    Awww...poor you.

    Not.
  • Humping_Tornadoes
    I didn't even read the whole thing, I was skipping all the filler and yet I got what you were trying to say. You were trying to justify that you cheated because it was the first time where such temptation was put in front of you, right? Well, that doesn't justify anything unless having an opportunity to cheat also rips out your ovaries and your brain completely to be able and make decision.

    And to cherry top it, you play the victim card saying how your internal pain and regret made you feel. How you were together all this time with you're supposed boyfriend and not being able to say a word. Oh, how painful that was...

    Please, give us a break. I get shocked of the mental mechanism most women have to liberate themselves from guilt. It seems so easy to you. I wouldn't be able to do anything like this because logic would kick my consciousness ass and it would eat me alive. These things just have no defense and no excuses, yet you so perfectly invented a whole story around it to make yourself feel better. Press delete, forget and re-do, repeat the cycle. So easy...

    I have cheated. I cheated a high school girlfriend and I didn't took her seriously. I acted like a moron when I was 17 years old and then karma or the boomerang effect whatever kicked my ass so hard with other relationship that I never cheated again. I am cured of being a complete piece of shit, and I was cheated later. It hit me like a bag of bricks and I tasted a bit of my own medicine. Which seems it hasn't happened to you. And when it does you will probably blame the other person and think "how could I deserve this?" and be completely oblivious of your own past actions. I sell my left arm this will be the case.

    Trust me, no one gets away with murder. And you haven't got away from it. Whether you believe or not in the spiritual, in karma, or in whatever else force of nature makes you learn from your mistakes, this hasn't been settled yet. And life will put things in perspective for you eventually. Better hope this was all BS for your own good, and the others reading.

    You're a good story teller though, I'll give you that.
  • Esplorare
    You're a whore and hopefully karma brings you a situation where you're sucking some other female's pussy juices off of your man's penis under the impression that he's loyal to you.
  • Blueeyes81
    All I got from this was you trying to justify cheating. I don't think you know the difference between lust and love.
  • COCOCHANEL
    how did you not realize it until the end?
    and how did your parents and friend just turn a blind eye for the entire week?
  • lilac_flowers
    The horribleness of your act wasn't done when you were in this other guy's arms and you "gave in", it was when you first started flirting and developing intimacy with another man while taken, and were somehow ok with it. Gross.
  • Poppykate
    You are not unique or even special! How often do you hear about woman going away on holidays, only to cheat on their boyfriend. It demonstrates a lack of respect for you, for your boyfriend, and for the new boy. you didn't learn anything from this situation, except it may YOU feel bad for a while.
  • Cloud91218
    As someone who has been cheated on multiple times and having never cheated on anyone in my life and never will... I send a mental "fuck you" to you and this eloquently written excuse for your cheating being ok. It's not , it is literally the worst possible pain you could put someone through and how dare you try and justify your actions as they are not and never will be justifiable.
  • peachblossomluck
    This is a textbook case of the narcissist's justification rationale in such a situation. Did you get this from a psychology journal? It's so technical and scientifically accurate. It's uncanny! If you aren't pulling our chain with this story I suggest you get a diagnosis.
  • Baggz
    I am by no means have the right to label you because I am guilty of such acts when I was young, dumb, and full of cum. I have also been cheated on as well. It's a good story and I'm glad you learned something from it.

    FYI. The saying, "Once a cheater always a cheater." Yeah... that shit ain't entirely accurate because a person can change from their past mistake. Shit only applies to someone who had made that mistake and continues to make that same mistake.
  • Araya
    I feel that's one of the worst cheaters---those who are too weak to resist basic temptation.

    You had no excuse or sufficient reason to cheat (there is ONE, but you are nowhere near that situation).

    I don't care for you or people that cheat in any way.
  • admles
    " Though I’m an extremely honest, caring, and compassionate person"

    No, you're not. A cheater doesn't do any of these things. If you truly loved your boyfriend, you wouldn't have had interest in the second guy.

    This take is just basically a way for you to try and justify what you did.

    You should have told your boyfriend so he could leave you and fine someone who actually appreciates him.
  • Johnson123
    I dont even have to read it. If you cheated and feel happy about it... you have some issues girl.
  • TimeSplitters123
    What a pathetic lousy person. i hope you fall in love with someone and they cheat on you in your bed and you walk in on them, you would deserve it.
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