Texting guide for Guys


Texting is a game of tennis!

Texting guide for Guys

1. When you text her wait for her reply

Just like a game of tennis when you hit the ball over the net you have to wait for the ball to be hit back over the net to you.

2. Only use 1 ball at a time

There is 2 players in our game of tennis. The guy and the girl. They use 1 ball and 1 ball only. This means that when you send a text you only send 1 text and 1 text only.

Example of wrong.

Guy: Hey whats happening

Guy: Hello ?

Guy: Guess your busy.

Girl: Sorry only just saw your text.

Example of right.

Guy: Hey whats happening

Girl: Hey nothing much and you ?

This still applies if she has read your text but has not replied. The ball is still in her court. So you have to wait for her to hit it back over the net.

Don't over do it

Texting guide for Guys

1. Dont write essays. Do keep it simple!

2. Dont try so hard

Do not try so hard gentlemen. Stop writing stories and stories of what you did today.

Remember keep it simple.

When you write these wonderfull A+ essays with perfect storyline you are coming on too strong for the girl. She is immeddialty thinking wow this guy must like me if he is telling me this much and taking so much time to write this TEXT MESSAGE. You are killing your mystery by just openely telling her what you did instead of letting her ask you. Woman Love Mystery ! They love to investigate and figure out things about you ! You should be a mystery to her. Remember Woman are curious creatures. So by you telling her all this stuff over text your leaving nothing for her to be curious over.

Dont kill the mystery

3. Dont text everyday

When you text her everyday you become boring and predictable. When its predictable there is no more mystery. What did i say before? O yea thats right Dont kill the mystery. If you text her everyday you dont leave her to wonder about you. These thoughts "Who is he with ? " "What is he doing?" "Why haven't i heard from him yet?" They won't enter a girls mind if your texting her everyday. So stop trying so hard and leave her alone for a bit. She won't forget you if you dont talk to her for a few days. She will instead miss you and make her wonder about you and be curious. This is a good thing. And besides you should be busy working on something that you love. Fix the shed if you have to. Be busy it will make you feel like a man.

Dont be so sexual

1. Stop trying to "Turn her on" over text.

This does not work.

You telling her your going to lick her neck does nothing but make her think " Arghh they are all the same" You dont want to be the same. Because then you are killing the mystery !

Dont kill the mystery.

If you are the same as the other guys then what does she have left to figure out about you. Nothing ! isn't that boring. So stop just stop trying to make a bedroom out of your words. Unless you are E. L. James's brother then dont try being sexual because chances are you will not succeed in turning her on. You do want to succeed right ? I will show you how later...

2.) What if she is being sexy mexy on the texts?

Think about what she will be doing if you were together ?

So get together.

Be direct and to the point

Confidence is not only shown in person gentlemen.

1. If you are texting a girl chances are you like her. But i have news for you. No matter how great your writing is this won't make her feel more attracted to you. That is done in person.

To be self-confident is to be secure in yourself and your abilities.

So instead of doing what most guys do which is beat around the bush. Yea yea beat around the bush and text her all day long looking for signs wheter or not she is intrested... Looking for hints. Just all day long. Not anymore!

You are going to be confident and sure of yourself.


You are not going to beat around the bush.

You are not going to wait for signs.

You are not going to have useless text conversations.


You are going to be direct.

You are going to be confident.

You are going to be quick and desisive.

Let me introduce to you The Game Changer.

"Hey i would like to see you, when are you free ? "

That is it gentlemen. When you are texting a girl you are going to ask her out on a date. You will do this quickly. Dont have a bs conversation first.

Be direct and to the point.

How do i do that ?

"Hey i would like to see you, when are you free ? "

You will wait for her to tell you and then you will set a time that you will either meet her at a place or pick her up.


After you have set the date you will then get off the phone.

You no longer need to talk.. you have a date set and can talk there. If you talk before the date then you may run the risk of running out of things to say on the date. You are the man so you steer the conversation. So dont shoot yourself in the foot.

Example of wrong.

Guy: Hey whatsup

5mins later

Girl: Nothing much just finished watching my show wbu.

8 mins later

Guy: Just got home you will never guess what happend to me today ?

10 mins later

Girl: What?

15 mins later

Guy: Blah blah blah

10 mins later

Girl: Blah blah blah

7 mins later
Guy : Blah blah blah

20 mins later

Girl Blah blah blah

10 mins later

Guy: oh haha .Hey when are you free to get together i want to see you ?

Did you see how long that took ? Dont be this guy.


Example of Right

Guy: Hey how is it going.

5mins later

Girl: Good and you ?

2mins later

Guy: Good hey i want to see you, when are you free to get together?

You have just set yourself apart from all the other guys out there.

Leave conversation for when you are in person

Girls like to talk.

Lets look at how texting conversations normally go.

Guy : So you are born in california ?

Girl : Yea i was raised there too.

Guy : What did you like about it ?

Girl : It was just sunny and fun.

Guy : O really ? What was fun about it ?

Girl : Oh you know just normal childhoods. Running and playing with friends.

Now lets look at how this same convo would have gone in person.

Guy : So you are born in california ?

Girl : Yea i was raised there too. I love it there! It was always so sunny and when me and my friend go to paly outside we always had to wear sunscreen. hahaha i always tried to sneak out of the house before my Mom could stop me so i dont have to put it on.

Guy : Haha what did you and your friends do ?

Girl : hahaha we use to play this game called cat and mouse. Basicly its where .... .... ... .. .

See how much was said in a way shorter space of time and it makes the conversation more valueble and potentially connectful that was compared to doing it over text?. Woman want to connect with you. So leave those conversations for when you are in person.

When she texts you first

When she texts you first. You simply set a date

Because she texted you first she wants to see you. Why ? Well she was thiking about you before she sent the text. She wants to talk to you since she reached out.

So because you are confident you are going to set a date.



You are not going to beat around the bush.

You are not going to wait for signs.

You are not going to have useless text conversations.


You are going to be direct.

You are going to be confident.

You are going to be quick and desisive.

You will respond with. "Hey I would like to see you. When are you free to get together ?"

Max 2 to 3 texts then you will ask her when she is free.

Set the date and get of the phone.

And remember dont participate in any bs useless text conversation.

There you go gentlemen!

Girls Guide to texting and Couples Guide to texting coming soon.

Texting guide for Guys
Add Opinion

Most Helpful Guy

  • howardque
    This is really good bro!!!

    Damn wish I was as skilled as you. What if they read and maybe your message was ambiguous. Does that prevent you from initiating next time?

    Or else if you end the convo can you initiate next time?

    In fact, how do you end and deal with initiation techniques in general if that makes sense?

    Erm.. could you help me out since you know your stuff?

    girlsaskguys. com/girls-behavior/q1889570-why-would-a-woman-group-message-you-in-this-special-circumstance

    girlsaskguys. com/flirting/q1889572-if-you-meet-a-nice-girl-at-uni-but-she-has-a-boyfriend-then-she-is
    Is this still revelant?
    • End the text like this : "Alright cool i will talk to you then ( Date) I have to run Enjoy.
      And initiate like a few days after date to get anopther date. Eventually she will text you.

    • howardque

      If it's long distance since you both graduate and move for work (and thus any meet up/date is when either of you visit)?

    • Make Skype your dates then. Treat it the same tho.

    • Show All

Most Helpful Girl

  • buttheadkakakak
    Most of this is actually fantastic advice for guys when texting the girl you fancy. Boys, please read this twice. You're gonna need it
    Is this still revelant?

Scroll Down to Read Other Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

  • NedfromtheNed
    Na, i say trash the whole thing.

    -Step 1. Find a female with which you wish to converse
    -Step 2. When you wish to talk to that person, open your damn mouth and talk to them you little sissy bitches.
    -------1.5: This can be achieved through face-to-face communication or over the phone by calling them.
  • Dipsy
    Great myTake! Bookmarked it haha.

    But I have a question, could you answer it for me?

    At the part of: 'Leave conversation for when you are in person' you show that the girl talks a lot more in real life. But with what I experienced this isn't really the case with me (im shy). Do you know what might be wrong? I think the girls feel uncomfortable probably, cuz they dont know me well. I dont really know how to make them more comfortable

    What do you think about this all?
    Thanks :)
    • Laughter is the best way to make a girl comfortable at first. And later on sticking to your words and following through with them. Okay so what happens when you talk to a girl? Do you find yourself like running out of things to say? And then you have a awkward silence?

    • Dipsy

      I used to be funny before, but now not so much. I don't know what happened. I can still make people laugh, but it isn't that easy anymore. It also depends a lot on the other person too though, whether she/he laughs a lot.
      What do you mean with sticking to your words?

      Yes I run out of things to say. It's not only with girls, it's also with other people quite often. And yes then there is that awkward silence haha.

    • Tease them like they are your sister this will get them laughing. call them names.. Make fun of them in a playful like you would to a sister. Simply ask question why do they like that. What is their opinion on this. Girls Love ! to give their opinions on things. And stop worrying about whether or not she likes you. Just be in the moment and enjoy learning things about her. You can always like is she is done telling about something and there the awkward silence, Just be like why did you stop? What else? Tell me more ! And ask something you are wondering and she will talk for days! Good eye contact is important.

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  • ConsultantIsBack
    This is really good. Some of it I consider to be "common sense" but then again, who knows what common sense even is these days. Great reminder and I agree with this information.
    Basically, I just see texting as an informal way to filter out dates and get to know them initially and setup meeting face-to-face, where the game REALLY begins.
    If someone struggles with being patient/over-invested emotionally, this is what you do: text/talk to MULTIPLE women. Cast your net wide, it works!
    • Yea talking to multiple woman is very good.. It like makes you live in abdunace since if one girl acts flakey your not bothered as the other girl is way more into you so you spend your time with her. Instead of pleasing the flakey girl spending ages to get her to go out with you. Just a waste of time. You should spend your time with those who are just as excited to see you as you are to see them.

  • Punkin45
    I prefer some longer texting conversations to decide if I even WANT to meet the guy. If he's rushing to get me on a date after just one or two short messages, I'm assuming he just wants to get laid and will stall or drop him like a rotten tomato.
    • Punkin45

      Plus, most guys I've communicated with don't text often. They don't like to use words. Can't be bothered putting them together in sentences.

      I've only met one, I think, who was anything like your examples. The rest were like pulling teeth to get them to say anything that gave me any clue to their personality, which is super annoying.

    • You met in person already you know... Like he got your number in person. Texts you 3 days later asking you if you want to go out?

    • Punkin45

      Hah... That NEVER happens. I don't "already know" any guys who aren't taken. If I did, they wouldn't have to text me because we'd already be around each other at work or whatever and he could ask me in person.

      But I see what you mean if you're 18 and there's a whole crowd of friends at school. I'm old. I'm a single parent with a corporate job. All the guys I work with are married or in their twenties. The only way I start talking to guys is online, and I gave up on that about a year ago.

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  • Yeahno12
    The thing is, if the girl in question actually likes you, there really needn't be 'texting rules' or game-playing involved. If I like a guy, he can text me as much as he wants and I'll like it either way.
    • There is no game... No you won't like it either way it will get boring. I have done both text everyday and keeping the for date setting. Guess what works. A lit of guys would agree with me here

    • Punkin45

      Agree with opinion owner

  • Wanderingheartbeat
    Awesome job Mr. Mystery!

    And men please keep in mind not to say "lol" so much. It throws me off.
    • Thank you !

    • lol really?

    • Swanny

      All this time I've been ignorant lol. I've been using "lol" so many times in my conversations unconsciously, I guess I'm going to pay more attention to it from now and on :P

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  • Dragonstarterplus
    Solid advice. The most important part is definitely that it's best to be direct in text messages and not beat around the bush about asking her out.
    • Yea it shows confidence and it saves you so much time. Time is your most valuable resource.

  • Dan2287
    This is great! Thanks for this - I definitely text way too much and beat around the bush - these are things I need to keep in the back of my mind
    • No worries man! You will definitely see a difference in the woman you are dating's interest level towards you.

  • IcyBastet
    Great advice for guys. You seem to know women quite well, I found myself agreeing with pretty much all of it.
    • Yea when I was like 10.. I remember asking my Granddad "I don't understand woman?" and he said " Neither do I.. No one does." I was annoyed by that i thought there must be a way. I asked my Dad he said " Don't try to understand them the more you try the more confused you get" I thought to my self that's bs ! There must be a way! All the guy older than me continued telling me the same thing don't try too its impossible , woman don't even understand themselves and your asking me this? and If i knew i would tell you. I was so frustrated.. How is this possible. No one understands? No one ! And of course i asked woman but they explained in their language which was foreign to me so that got me no where. When I was 17 I found some materials, books , you tube channels, life coaches the works and i started reading, watching , putting it to the test, observing it and just studying it like it was a sbjct i can't fail. And now here I am at 18 so lucky to know these things so young. Had to share!

    • Yeah I wish I had someone to tell me this stuff 10 years ago. Would have been a much better class subject than music appreciation

  • Other_Tommy_Wiseau
    i figured most of this is common sense. do people really not know these? never double text... NEVER!!!
    • Everyone knows something but its the things they don't know that's "Killing" them in a sense.

  • Stacyzee
    I really like this guide!

    But on my end, sometimes I write essays.
    I guess I am the stereotypical woman that loves to engage in rapport.

    But this a great guide for those who want to play it safe and not look clingy.
  • thorthorley
    Great Take! Already knew most of it, but I hope this helps others.
  • mikemx55
    Oh boy! I just read the question that inspired you to write this :) thanks for your time
  • Thatguy321
    Heck yeah, this is the kinds good advise this site needs
  • flakosky
    Great my take. Not all women like that cause the ones that find the guy so mysterious end up thinking that you're a creep or something. But the majority of women probly liked a guy like that. Id say maybe like 5 or 6 txts 3 to 4 is too short. You wanna make sure she's comfortable with you in order for them to go on a date right? But overall this is a great guide!👍
    • Well you have talked in person and got her number so you should already be sure she is interested. She will test you if she is not comfortable with you. Act flakey too see what you do. aka Are you really as confident as you portray you are.

    • flakosky

      True that! Your a f**** genius man! And you're young too. So let me tell you that you're gonna have a great life!

    • Thanks for the compliment man! But I am not a genius I am just another guy who is trying to get a little bit better everyday and pay everything I learn forward. And it is my mission to have a great and happy life no matter what happens. You only live once. Its so cliche people overlook it. But people always ask for answers to why and how. You only live once will usually come up but its said so much the meaning is lost. Sometimes you just need to stop and look at things for what it really is and not what everyone else says it is.

  • dudegrt09
    Very nice take, I know from experience talking to her for hours through text everyday is just a bad bad idea...
    • Exactly she gets used to having you around and then takes you for granted. And when you get together there is nothing exciting you have already had the conversations on the text. You will be like what I say? Just a bad way to go...

  • Rufus335
    In no way is this a texting guide. This is a douchey generalization of how to act like an alpha via text message. The best guide is to fucking text her when you feel like it and be up front. If you want to date her you should state that pretty early and set a date but while your planning the date you should be having a side conversation meanwhile. Especially online you havnt met this girl yet so you need to do a little get to knowingg
    • This is a douchey generalization of how to act like an alpha via text message? How is this douchey?
      You go do that bro see how well it goes. No one said you have to follow this. If you don't want to don't. My guide for online would be completely different. You would have a phone call before you even ask her out. People need to use their own thinking too its not a step 1 step 2 process.

    • Rufus335

      you just said this,

      Example of Right
      Guy: Hey how is it going.
      5mins later
      Girl: Good and you?
      2mins later
      Guy: Good hey i want to see you, when are you free to get together?
      You have just set yourself apart from all the other guys out there.

      that does not work

    • If the girl wants to go out with you what will she say? Thats right she will give you a day she is free.
      If she does not want to go out with you what will she say? Thats right. I dont know. Im kinda busy. Im not sure. You were quick with it now you can move on instead of texting hours trying to impress her which will not work. But thats what most guys do so by doing what I said you have done what? Yea thats right set yourself apart from all the other guys out there.
      My guide is not to make a girl like you. This is for when you have already seen interest or the best possible way to if she likes you to get that date. Often times a girl likes a guy but then he is needy and desperate aka unconfident on text or just takes to damn long and she loses interest. Any other questions?

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  • Sexualchrist
    But what if your first text was an ace or an unreturnable?

    Or what if she does text back but you play a drop volley and she gets caught on the baseline of texting?

    Or what if you text on a break point and its a double fault?
    • What in the world are you talking about?
      ace or an unreturnable?
      drop volley
      gets caught on the baseline of texting?
      break point and its a double fault?
      "Complexity is the enemy of execution" - Tony Robbins

    • You naming tennis terms a Ha ! Funny haha

    • In tennis when you have nothing, you have love.

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  • Mico86
    Hi, awesome read and I will certainly use it. Need some advice, so I asked this girl out last Monday for next Friday (valentines weekend) when should I confirm time with her? After reading your article I haven't messaged her for about 2 days now. My buddy tells me not to message her till Sunday or Monday. Should I wait that long? Any suggestions will help. by the way we did meet online.
    • Okay when you set a date you should have a time while doing that. What you can do when doing that is this. Right you set the date you have a date Friday. Now just say sweet l will pick you up at 7. Now if she has a problem with that she will say something like. No that's too early or I am home at 8 pick me up then you know. Woman help you if they like you. Otherwise she will be like okay or see you then. You know? For your case tho just text her something like this. Hey for Friday I am going to come you up at X. So be ready ;). She will suggest a time if its inconvenient. You can really just message her like right now if you want. Then confirms the times and be like alright cool i have to run but I will see you then.

  • Yeahhbro
    Very nice advice, this is very true. How about calling her? I know this is just texting, but calling is the next step. When to call her? Should i even call her?
    • If you are going to call and not text same thing. Make it short and to the point... Ask her out in like 10 mins max make it definite date and get of the phone.

  • nohomobrah
    Stopped reading at..

    "Dont be so sexual
    1. Stop trying to "Turn her on" over text.
    This does not work."

    Dude you should see my collection of nudes lmao
  • Balcazaurus
    "Don't beat around the bush".

    This is helpful. Thanks.
  • Sebastian25
    Would this work with an ex of 3 months ago? Is there anything i would need to do differently?
    • If the ex contacted you. State you are not interested in friends but only romance. And make a date. If the ex didn't contact you not much you can do except go out there and find someone a million times better.

  • kitty71
    You wrote "If you are texting a girl chances are you like her". That does not always happen believe me. It happened to me and it id not work.
    • kitty71

      Let me add also the part of if a girl text first is becaue she likes him right? Well what if the guy does not get the drift and he is clueless that if the girl is making hte contact first is becaue she likes her. WHat if he ain't got the clue but he kept texting you normally and u both tease a little and flirt, but that does not mean the guy likes the girl.

    • Okay why would he look at this guide if he doesn't like the girl. I said in the guide what to do if a girl texts you first. Its in there. If he is still clueless there is nothing no one but the girl he is texting can do.

  • BruceTrails
    thanks for making this mytake, this will help me so much!
  • notenough
    I hate all of this cause it attributes too a women's game
    but it's very true
    but I don't follow an of this and won't
    • There is no Game it makes sense if you think about it deeply. There is no game. If you are busy you can't text all the time. You talk more if you dont "talk" before the date. No game. But you dont have believe any of it. All of this works.. you can choose if you follow it or not. Everyone knows being healthy feels and looks good. But people don't follow it.

    • notenough


      AND NOT INTO ME" What do you mean by this?
      "AMERICA WOMEN ARE SUCH GARBAGE" - totally unnecessary

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  • mooky06
    So quality over quantity huh?
    • Yea the phone is for appointment/date setting only. Too many people trade this for the real thing in person and never get to experience the magic.

  • JRise25
    Ok, opinion form everyone here. So there was this person in my office building who I text all the time when she was at her old position, but she switched to a new position and she's fairly busy now and since I talk to her in the building. I never like to really talk too much outside with her outside the office buidling cause I don't want to seem needy but also want to save out conversations for in person. Am I overthinking it that we don't text nearly as much with her in her new role since we talk in person just about every day?
  • YourFutureEx

  • Anonymous
    Simply be yourself... If you want to text her daily trust me... She's not going to complain especially if you both have busy schedules, keep it fun and flirty... Convos in text can be carried over in person too... The waiting around doesn't keep me furious or interested - my efforts will go to where I see effort, simple as that... And I find it cute when you can see little hints of him trying to ask you out, beating around the bush before working up the nerve to just come out and ask - it's fun to tease in that flirty way and let's you lead him up to that point... Just have fun with it
    • Anonymous

      *curious not furious 😉

    • I want you to find him irresistible not cute but each to their own. And there will be effort as he is asking you out and you guys are having a blast in person.

    • And you will be curious. Lets see. You guys had a date. It went really well. He hasn't texted you. You will be curious. He texts you bam next date is set. He gets off the phone. Your wondering why is he so busy I can't keep him on the phone. If you date a successful ambitious driven guy all this stuff i described in the guide will happen.

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  • Anonymous
    I prefer essays than just a couple of words lol If he didn't have much to say i would think he felt indifferent about me. Plus, if he didn't text me every day i wouldn't bother keeping in touch with him. I need to know a guy is interested. It is so much harder to know if someone is interested via texting, That is why it is important to text regularly, be reliable and have more to say than a few words, I expect to have a convo via a text,
    • " Plus, if he didn't text me every day i wouldn't bother keeping in touch with him" - if a guy did this to you.. You won't be wondering about him... you will instead be wondering why is this guy not texting me everyday? What is he doing? And if your busy with your purpose you don't have time to text. In and out of meetings. Busy planning there is no time to text all day.
      "It is so much harder to know if someone is interested via texting" If he is asking you out on a date... Well maybe he is interested? If he is doing certain things in person.. Well just maybe he is interested. You can say what you want. I know for a fact if a guy was typing essays to you everyday.. You will not be so excited to go out with him than the other guy who is being direct and straight up " Hey id like to see you.. When are you free? " Men don't go out of there way to go out with girls they DON'T like. "I expect to have a convo via a text" - You expect a convo via text because that's what all the guys do.

    • "That is why it is important to text regularly, be reliable and have more to say than a few words, I expect to have a convo via a text"
      And thats what always happened so this is strange to you. And this is different to texting when your in a relationship by the way. This is a guy you only been on 1 date with or not even first date is still coming. You will feel "confused" if a guy you have only gone on 1 date with.. Starts blowing up your phone.. You will think he is needy, obsessive etc. I advise everyone out in the world to not take advise about this stuff from anyone who is not in a loving relationship.. That you can see. Woman will sugar coat things and tell you what they "think" they want aka what they show in the movies. And Men will be more upfront but still tell you to be like they are in the movies.
      The movies have it very wrong.

  • Anonymous
    I don't agree with much of the stuff in this post. If you want to talk to me just talk to me, don't play games.
    • What don't you agree with?

    • And this isn't a game. Its like maturity and efficiency. Study it all and think about it deeply. You will see how this will mend with your life if you are living to your full potential as a man.

    • "If you want to talk to me just talk to me, don't play games." - Talking in person is better than text. Agree? So why have a conversation that could be very meaningful in person but then do it over text which you forget cause its so bland. No game. If you are confident, efficient, socially intelligent and ambitious passion driven hard working man then You will do this naturally. No game.

  • Anonymous
    This is why I hate texting. You make valid points but it seems like some girls think you're over doing it by texting them a few days after a date but also not interested if you wait long enough.

    But I agree about getting straight to the point when asking for a date, beating around the bushes is useless.

    I prefer to have conversations through person and not text, whether its with a date or friend because if you text too much then you might not have anything to talk about in person.
    • Anonymous

      @MrMystery28 do you think just sending a simple hey what's up? after a first date is overdoing it?

    • When a woman is wondering about you Its a good thing. She is trying to figure you out. And yea convos in person is a million more times satisfying and valuable than the phone. HANDS DOWN. Besides only 7% of communication is done by words the rest is tone and body language. So in person is best.

    • Nope send it a few days after the first date. Then just have a 2-3 max text thing and ask for next date. Id like to see you again. When are you free?

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  • Anonymous
    "Hey, i'd like to see you, when are you free"?
    Brilliant line. So simple yet it is so perfect.
    Make her pick a time since your the one reaching out. The saves you from putting out suggestion after suggestion of times only to get "I'm busy that night", and then she waits for you to suggest another. If she wants to move forward she must make an effort which shows she's not just going along with you because it's easier then telling you she isn't interested. If she's not interested she won't bother. If she does she ends up showing you, and no longer has the plausible deniability women love so much. "I don't like you that way... I thought we were just friends."
    • And it shows confidence. Cause you are assuming she will have a time free. You are asking but in a less approval seeking way. And then all she has to do is go Monday i am free. Then you go sweet i will pick you up at X. Easy.
      "When a woman likes you, the doors start opening and all you have to do is walk through. But if they start closing in your face, you simply walk away." - Adam Carolla