bullshit. we're equal right? pay me first and i'll pay yours then. how come all girls wants equality on all levels and then for money there's still the courtship going on where you have to bust yo ass to be recognised as a Gentleman? you want my attention and my courtship (money + time) then earn it, for god sake.
0
2 Reply
myTake Owner
+1 y
Um, how does a woman earn your money/time if it's a first date and she's getting to know you? This is sort of implying in the same way you don't want to presumably pay for a first date, that you are so special (aka, a woman who demands you pay for dinner) that someone must earn their way to you... and you're busting your butt to be recognized as a gentleman, I mean just be one. It shouldn't be a hard thing. If it is, you're doing it wrong. Also, it's funny how men created this system where women were to be essentially paid for because they would not allow them to earn money, work, or pay for anything and now it's kind of backfired on all the future generations and now you're all mad, lol. You've got quite a few forefathers to thank for this antiquated system.
nah, i'm saying that if you want me to be extra nice spending my money on you you better watch out for your behaviour as much as i do in being a Gentleman. Otherwhise, check please, time's up, you pay.
I don't "have" to pay. You know why? Because I don't date! :P
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Huh? You state in your title that men "should" pay for first date, and yet you seem to describe that you pay for yourself (*pats you on the shoulder* "Welcome to the 21st century, feminist").
Luckily therefore you don't quite seem like the usual sexist feminist... and for those
" I just think its high time we let go of notions of forcing someone to pay or do anything because their gender or sex is "supposed" to do it." - This is exactly what is fucking up everything.
Before - men and women loved each other Now - everyone is fucked about who they are.
Keep going women, its only going to get difficult for you
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3 Reply
myTake Owner
+1 y
Life is neither more difficult or easier for either sex. This "keep going" you speak of has led women to get their educations, to get into politics, to earn their own money so that in the event that all lifes problems aren't solved by being in a relationship with a man (she says sarcastically) she can afford to live and have a life. The same goes for a man. These arbitrary rules about gender were set in place because of the culture we used to live in where women had no rights, and no money, and no vote, and did not work, hence, they had to rely on men for everything. If the worst that has come out of that is that, by goodness, a woman pays for her own meal, I think we'll be alright, LOL!
If you apparently have a problem with a woman working, getting an education, and owning her own stuff, than there really is no point in continuing any kind of conversation. The world is not crumbling to the ground because of this my friend. No one benefits from being uneducated and unemployed and just being a doll on some shelf to trot out at parties.
— "I pay for me, you pay for you, that way I feel there is no owing anybody anything, and we're on a date because I want to date you and you want to date me, not because I'm trying to get something from you, or you me." Yes. Someone else who says this.
To be honest I dont see the point of paying for someones dinner I may never see again. Rather just hangout and get to know them.
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0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
-When do women invite men out? -Why should I pay when there's a chance you will ghost me after the date? That means the date was worthless and my money was wasted. -Why should I have to pay when you make your own money?
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myTake Owner
+1 y
-Trust, my friend, women do sometimes ask men out. Rare, for sure, I'm not arguing that point, but it does happen. -"Should pay?" Hmmm... If you never want to pay for a date, than don't because it's 'your money,' and you go right ahead and hold on to every nickle, but as a woman I've paid for the dinner or the movies or whatever on dates because I want to treat the other person. There is no "should" or obligation about it. The only thing you should want to do is treat someone the way you want to be treated. He treats me and I treat him, and on and on. There are no guarantees in life whether someone you date will be there for date number two whether you spend hundreds on a first date or zero bucks. Dating is a crap shoot. You never know if you're going to come out on top or with nothing. -How long can you argue that point because you make your own money too. Both should pay from time to time.
Malaysia. People would give an unpleasant look to any men who wait for the women to pay at the cashier. I saw it happened lot of times. It is uncommon for ladies to pay here.
@desidoll I didn't know it was like this in Malaysia it's cool. In France is uncommon for a women to pay. If some men see it they will look at him badly and think of him like a less man.
@RandomBritishGuy94 I mean Britain, a friends of mine go here and she said that guys and people in general are rude, doesn't have manners, etc... It's so different from France. Even women swear so much. Never you'll see a women swear in France? That's really rare.
Thats womens doing not mens (the way women are treated). Women demand it then get pissed off that men acquieced. Women mistreat abuse and take advantage of men then demand men act like "real" men yet they themselves don't act like "real" women (not unlike all those women in the video). Blame women for that one.
Loving/caring. She should be feminine. That doesn't necessarily need to be everything society thinks is feminine. Some things are societies imprint, some are not. For instance I know many Tom Boys who are quite feminine. As for paying, I don't mind. Most guys I know don't either. What upsets us is women who deceive us, they go on dates with no real interest in us, just to get a free meal. That is not what I would call a "real woman" at all.
That's a pretty vague and simplistic view of what a real woman should be, but I do fully agree with your point that freeloaders are awful in the sense that they absolutely aren't going out for the right reasons at all. I find the somewhat equivalent to be a guy who asks me out and then essentially demands sex as payment to be the same thing. It's deplorable in the exact same way. Someone going on a date and expecting money for dinner or sex as "payment" for their time.
It is hard to explain in detail, for a lot of people exactly what they want. Especially since so much is open to interpretation. I have found this true of women as well. I hear everyday how many want a "sensitive" or "caring" man. But I find in practice most women rarely, if ever, choose men with those characteristics.
Yeah, I understand. I personally have never dated or have had sex before, so I can't help you there. If I were dating, then I would probably become friends with the guy first, get invited to dates, meet his parents, and visit his home before I'd allow him near mine.
Hey, how about setting up a picnic with home-made foods?
Yea a woman who can cook is amazingly sexy! Too bad its so rare. Too many women buy into the bullshit that cooking is somehow "slavery" but only for women :(
@genuinlysensitive I hope not! Cooking is one of the humanity's most basic survival skills. No cooking skills can risk starvation. It makes meat and vegetables tender and more digestable.
One of the best dates of my life was when I prepared a whole picnic for this guy who's birthday happened to be our first date. Of course it rained like hell when the day came, but there was this covering that we met at and ate under. It was like movie magic. The rain falling, us eating and talking. I don't think I've ever been on a better date than that.
Out of curiosity, what did you eat on the date? I think you have to bring ready-made foods to a picnic, because eating outside usually means there is no fire, stove, or electricity. Was there a barbecue grill nearby?
Yea but too many people opt for the factory "ready made" foods, which are full of chemicals that destroy nutrients and harm the body. Also, I have tested this myself, buying food and cooking from scratch is way cheaper than buying frozen or microwave meals. Tastes so much better too!
If you are interested I suggest the book "Cooked" by Micheal Pollen.
This is so true. My boyfriend is a Christian Middle Easterner and he never lets me pay. I return the favor by treating him like he's the best guy in the world :)
As long as she is contributing in her way ie her traditional role that would be reasonable, fair exchange of goods, what he has for what she has. Is that the case?
@hellionthesage Basically yes. Men in general like to buy things for the girl he likes. Girls like to give back love and passion. She can buy her own things and he can be very loving and affectionate yet it feels more natural to do the opposite. It's not hard for me to carry heavy things but it's way easier for him to do so.
Lol a bunch of the girls just started looking at their phones or just leaving when he went on about how paying on a date should work.
2
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
I like his point about a first date basically being on your best behavior and so many womens "best behavior" is them saying that they are so above you that you have to spend money just to spend time with them. It only goes down from there. People don't become more courteous to each other after the first date. The first date is when you act your most kind to them and then you relax and don't try as hard after that so imagine being seen as someone who has to pay just to spend time with a girl and then you're only going to be treated worse after that...
@ForScience It's naive if you think people make jokes about this regularly and don't mean it. I see all kinds of gender hate shit on this website daily and on other forums. Some people genuinely believe this kind of thing.
@XRabbitHeartX You know what caused some people to actually mean jokes like this? Its called 3rd wave feminism. You can thank all of the crazy feminazis for changing almost an entire genders mindset about women.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
38Opinion
bullshit. we're equal right? pay me first and i'll pay yours then.
how come all girls wants equality on all levels and then for money there's still the courtship going on where you have to bust yo ass to be recognised as a Gentleman? you want my attention and my courtship (money + time) then earn it, for god sake.
Um, how does a woman earn your money/time if it's a first date and she's getting to know you? This is sort of implying in the same way you don't want to presumably pay for a first date, that you are so special (aka, a woman who demands you pay for dinner) that someone must earn their way to you... and you're busting your butt to be recognized as a gentleman, I mean just be one. It shouldn't be a hard thing. If it is, you're doing it wrong. Also, it's funny how men created this system where women were to be essentially paid for because they would not allow them to earn money, work, or pay for anything and now it's kind of backfired on all the future generations and now you're all mad, lol. You've got quite a few forefathers to thank for this antiquated system.
nah, i'm saying that if you want me to be extra nice spending my money on you you better watch out for your behaviour as much as i do in being a Gentleman. Otherwhise, check please, time's up, you pay.
I don't "have" to pay. You know why? Because I don't date! :P
Huh? You state in your title that men "should" pay for first date, and yet you seem to describe that you pay for yourself (*pats you on the shoulder* "Welcome to the 21st century, feminist").
Luckily therefore you don't quite seem like the usual sexist feminist... and for those
https://m.popkey.co/5cfc99/jW7pQ.gif
The title is just referencing the video and the woman in it who seemed to imply as much which is why the should is in quotes.
you seem bitter, whats wrong with what she said?
Funny gif
" I just think its high time we let go of notions of forcing someone to pay or do anything because their gender or sex is "supposed" to do it." - This is exactly what is fucking up everything.
Before - men and women loved each other
Now - everyone is fucked about who they are.
Keep going women, its only going to get difficult for you
Life is neither more difficult or easier for either sex. This "keep going" you speak of has led women to get their educations, to get into politics, to earn their own money so that in the event that all lifes problems aren't solved by being in a relationship with a man (she says sarcastically) she can afford to live and have a life. The same goes for a man. These arbitrary rules about gender were set in place because of the culture we used to live in where women had no rights, and no money, and no vote, and did not work, hence, they had to rely on men for everything. If the worst that has come out of that is that, by goodness, a woman pays for her own meal, I think we'll be alright, LOL!
Fuck, this is why women will eventually fuck everything.
If you apparently have a problem with a woman working, getting an education, and owning her own stuff, than there really is no point in continuing any kind of conversation. The world is not crumbling to the ground because of this my friend. No one benefits from being uneducated and unemployed and just being a doll on some shelf to trot out at parties.
— "I pay for me, you pay for you, that way I feel there is no owing anybody anything, and we're on a date because I want to date you and you want to date me, not because I'm trying to get something from you, or you me."
Yes. Someone else who says this.
Yes, and women "should" get naked on all fours and stick their asses up when we go back to our places after dinner.
No we shouldn't, it is the 21st century so stop being sexist. Funny how women want it both ways. Stop being selfish.
You didn't read her take did you... She was promoting that men shouldn't have to pay.
he didn't read a word
If you are an American female, id understand why you wrote this.
go dutch. that way if you don't like the date, you can both walk away feeling ok.
To be honest I dont see the point of paying for someones dinner I may never see again. Rather just hangout and get to know them.
-When do women invite men out?
-Why should I pay when there's a chance you will ghost me after the date? That means the date was worthless and my money was wasted.
-Why should I have to pay when you make your own money?
-Trust, my friend, women do sometimes ask men out. Rare, for sure, I'm not arguing that point, but it does happen.
-"Should pay?" Hmmm... If you never want to pay for a date, than don't because it's 'your money,' and you go right ahead and hold on to every nickle, but as a woman I've paid for the dinner or the movies or whatever on dates because I want to treat the other person. There is no "should" or obligation about it. The only thing you should want to do is treat someone the way you want to be treated. He treats me and I treat him, and on and on. There are no guarantees in life whether someone you date will be there for date number two whether you spend hundreds on a first date or zero bucks. Dating is a crap shoot. You never know if you're going to come out on top or with nothing.
-How long can you argue that point because you make your own money too. Both should pay from time to time.
I refuse to allow my date to pay. It is fairly simple, really. I make more money in an hour than she does all day, and for some in two or three days.
In return, I expect her to respect my time. Never, ever be late. You can spend money and make more, but when you spend time, it is gone forever.
Men should pay at least if they are real men and gentlemen. I'm so happy that in my country guys pay for all the date
Lol.
"Real" men do what women want and what women "expect."
Those "real" men are naught but tools
In my country too. Agree,
this is nothing but a distribution of wealth from the mans pockets to the stomach of the woman, you live in a country of idiot men.
"real men" wouldn't care if you thought they were real men or not.
@Kylesar No those kind of men really care about their girlfriend
@desidoll You from which country? :)
@RandomBritishGuy94 Of course coming from a English guys... They don't even hold door...
@anonman32 More macho than idiot plus they treat women like they should not like their "buddy" like un us or uk
I have no problem being a real man! But at the same time, I want a real woman!
@genuinlysensitive I'm a real woman of course.
Malaysia. People would give an unpleasant look to any men who wait for the women to pay at the cashier. I saw it happened lot of times. It is uncommon for ladies to pay here.
@desidoll I didn't know it was like this in Malaysia it's cool. In France is uncommon for a women to pay. If some men see it they will look at him badly and think of him like a less man.
That you think "British" and "English" are interchangeable for the whole UK shows how little you know about it.
Most people down here are very polite. I can't stand going to London where they are rude, and pairs was the same. Just the way big cities are.
@RandomBritishGuy94 I mean Britain, a friends of mine go here and she said that guys and people in general are rude, doesn't have manners, etc... It's so different from France. Even women swear so much. Never you'll see a women swear in France? That's really rare.
I'm moving to France Lol
Do think about it.
@Oram52 If you act like a French man and not an American then you'll be good
I've been to France. I have family there. They tend to swear in French but I do pick up on it.
@RandomBritishGuy94 It depend which part of France I know where I'm they doesn't swear that much. But Latino French tend to swear much
What do women do then?
Thats womens doing not mens (the way women are treated). Women demand it then get pissed off that men acquieced. Women mistreat abuse and take advantage of men then demand men act like "real" men yet they themselves don't act like "real" women (not unlike all those women in the video). Blame women for that one.
Same as here. I guess it's a cultural thing which is great :)
@desidoll Yes, I'm just happy I live in France and not in usa :)
I have no problem paying. I have no problem being a real man. I want to be a real man. But I want a real woman!
what's your definition of a real woman b/c simply paying for a meal does not a real man make. It makes him generous for sure, but it goes beyond that.
Loving/caring. She should be feminine. That doesn't necessarily need to be everything society thinks is feminine. Some things are societies imprint, some are not. For instance I know many Tom Boys who are quite feminine. As for paying, I don't mind. Most guys I know don't either. What upsets us is women who deceive us, they go on dates with no real interest in us, just to get a free meal. That is not what I would call a "real woman" at all.
That's a pretty vague and simplistic view of what a real woman should be, but I do fully agree with your point that freeloaders are awful in the sense that they absolutely aren't going out for the right reasons at all. I find the somewhat equivalent to be a guy who asks me out and then essentially demands sex as payment to be the same thing. It's deplorable in the exact same way. Someone going on a date and expecting money for dinner or sex as "payment" for their time.
It is hard to explain in detail, for a lot of people exactly what they want. Especially since so much is open to interpretation. I have found this true of women as well. I hear everyday how many want a "sensitive" or "caring" man. But I find in practice most women rarely, if ever, choose men with those characteristics.
Make a simple meal at home. That'll cut out unexpected expenses in your date.
Not sure I'd do that on a first date though I love to cook, b/c if it doesn't work out or he turns out to be a weirdo, they know where you live. Ick!
Yeah, I understand. I personally have never dated or have had sex before, so I can't help you there. If I were dating, then I would probably become friends with the guy first, get invited to dates, meet his parents, and visit his home before I'd allow him near mine.
Hey, how about setting up a picnic with home-made foods?
Yea a woman who can cook is amazingly sexy! Too bad its so rare. Too many women buy into the bullshit that cooking is somehow "slavery" but only for women :(
@genuinlysensitive I hope not! Cooking is one of the humanity's most basic survival skills. No cooking skills can risk starvation. It makes meat and vegetables tender and more digestable.
One of the best dates of my life was when I prepared a whole picnic for this guy who's birthday happened to be our first date. Of course it rained like hell when the day came, but there was this covering that we met at and ate under. It was like movie magic. The rain falling, us eating and talking. I don't think I've ever been on a better date than that.
Out of curiosity, what did you eat on the date? I think you have to bring ready-made foods to a picnic, because eating outside usually means there is no fire, stove, or electricity. Was there a barbecue grill nearby?
Yea but too many people opt for the factory "ready made" foods, which are full of chemicals that destroy nutrients and harm the body. Also, I have tested this myself, buying food and cooking from scratch is way cheaper than buying frozen or microwave meals. Tastes so much better too!
If you are interested I suggest the book "Cooked" by Micheal Pollen.
@genuinlysensitive I have Netflix. So, I just watch the documentary series. :P
In my country not only a man is expected to pay but it is considered a deal breaker if he didn't.
thats just sexism.
@anonman32 not really.
The women is expected to do most of house work.
The guy treats her like a princess, she treats him like a king. Everybody wins.
Wow what country is this? I would kill for a woman who'd treat me like a King! And you can bet I'd treat her like a Princess!
See the women in my country get the man should treat a woman like a princess part, but, few get the concept of treating the man like a king :(
@genuinlysensitive middle eastern countries :))
Is it a deal breaker if he is Christian? lol.
@genuinlysensitive if she is Muslim you have to be Muslim. I know many guys who convert when they fell in Love. Islam focuses on family and bonding.
We have Christians in middle east. They have the same mentality. It's cultural I guess :)
This is so true. My boyfriend is a Christian Middle Easterner and he never lets me pay. I return the favor by treating him like he's the best guy in the world :)
@desidoll If he is spoiling you , you feel more than happy to do the same.;)
As long as she is contributing in her way ie her traditional role that would be reasonable, fair exchange of goods, what he has for what she has. Is that the case?
@hellionthesage
Basically yes. Men in general like to buy things for the girl he likes. Girls like to give back love and passion. She can buy her own things and he can be very loving and affectionate yet it feels more natural to do the opposite. It's not hard for me to carry heavy things but it's way easier for him to do so.
;) ;) ;) True
What does it take to convert out of curiosity?
@genuinlysensitive
Nothing really. If you believe in one god and that jesus is his messenger then you are already a Muslim.
Lol a bunch of the girls just started looking at their phones or just leaving when he went on about how paying on a date should work.
I like his point about a first date basically being on your best behavior and so many womens "best behavior" is them saying that they are so above you that you have to spend money just to spend time with them. It only goes down from there. People don't become more courteous to each other after the first date. The first date is when you act your most kind to them and then you relax and don't try as hard after that so imagine being seen as someone who has to pay just to spend time with a girl and then you're only going to be treated worse after that...
Agreed, Dutch is always the best way to go, regardless if there's going to be another date or not.
Supply and demand. If a lady has ten guys who want to date her and five of them won't pay, why would she not then opt for one of the other five.
It's like saying "Women 'SHOULD' be in the kitchen."
You got a problem with that?
Lol just pulling your leg!
Everything was easier and better when women had no rights.
This
@Dasitmane56 Yeah for you as a man. Typical "me" mindset.
@XRabbitHeartX Obviously he was joking. Typical "female" not getting the joke.
@ForScience It's naive if you think people make jokes about this regularly and don't mean it. I see all kinds of gender hate shit on this website daily and on other forums. Some people genuinely believe this kind of thing.
@XRabbitHeartX You know what caused some people to actually mean jokes like this? Its called 3rd wave feminism. You can thank all of the crazy feminazis for changing almost an entire genders mindset about women.
@ForScience I couldn't care less what people want to think about feminism.