Paying for a Woman's Dinner is Not Chivalry...it's Buying Her

Paying for a Woman's Dinner is Not Chivalry...it's Buying Her

Paying for dinner during the dates prior to a relationship is NOT chivalry. It is not being a "man" or showing you are "invested" in a relationship.

Put quite simply, paying dinner is the purchasing or buying of a woman for an intimate sexual relationship.

Paying for a Woman's Dinner is Not Chivalry...it's Buying Her

Millions of men out there have been duped into this old fashioned idea that the modern woman is the "weaker sex". That the modern working woman of today is somehow in distress and needs to be "rescued" by a conquering white knight of a male. This is not true. If women need to be rescued, then so do men as well. Why can't women do the rescuing?

Women shall never be equal in our society unless they reclaim the notion for themselves. Sign up for selective service, become the main breadwinner (as many wonderful single moms are), unleash your sexual prowess in the bedroom, and above all, split the check at dinner or happy hour.

Paying for a Woman's Dinner is Not Chivalry...it's Buying Her

Millions of women are going on online dating sites to freeload off of desperate men. On average they most likely go on one or two or even three dates with you. They get their free meals/drinks, etc. and then they move on to the next guy on their list of a hundred messages on Tinder or dating sites. They have their sexy pictures and nonchalant and non-committal profile.

In order to increase their freeloading opportunities they say nothing controversial about themselves. Religion? Blank. Kids? Blank/None. Job? Blank.

It all is justified by phrases like, "The woman does the cooking and laundry. The man pays for food" or "As I man I pay or feel Emasculated". Why? Women embrace misogyny for their own benefit. They say things like "Paying is manly". No it is not. Paying is paying for dinner. How a man treats you and respects you is what is manly. For even if it is two friends hanging out, he is no less a man for splitting a meal or not paying.

Why can't men expect women to pay? Why can't men say, "If a woman doesn't pay for my meal she isn't womanly?" If the expectation is that a man pays on the first date and she pays on the second, what you will see is women refusing to go on second dates. Often times this has happened. Gents, don't be tricked into the alternating payment plan trick.

The most disgusting argument that I have heard is, "A man must show 'investment' in me. If he doesn't pay for dinner then it shows he's not invested." I had no idea that a woman's sexuality and dating experience was a stock option. Please Gents, don't fall for this either. What a woman is really saying is that she has the expectation to essentially be bartered for. if a woman really would like to see investment in a man, she must realize that simply being there and spending time with her is a clear sign of investment. Time is far more precious and expensive than money. That is what many women I have seen in the dating world do not get.

I even heard one woman say, "I think a man has to pay. He has to show effort in a woman. A man must conquer a woman." Money has nothing to do with effort. Time is effort. And why does a woman have to be conquered? Why can't a man be conquered? Women are openly admitting these days that they view themselves as inferior to men and the 'weaker sex'. But when it doesn't suit them, then they complain. Which is it?

Paying for a Woman's Dinner is Not Chivalry...it's Buying Her

Women say, "If he doesn't pay, I wouldn't find it attractive." As a man, why can't we say, "If the woman doesn't pay, then she isn't attractive." if women want to be treated equal then why can't a man say that? And what about paying for dinner makes a man attractive or less attractive?

MONEY.

These ladies out there are GOLD DIGGERS! Let us stop having double standards. Let us split meals evenly on every single date. All sexes are created EQUAL.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • "It is not being a "man" or showing you are "invested" in a relationship." Um, no. You are sadly, sadly mistaken. You are investing or your not. If this is your way of thinking, then please stop asking women out to dates you can't or refuse to pay. And if you do, ask her what are her views about paying on the 1st so you won't be wasting her's or your time. "Let us split meals evenly on every single date." But you can't sacrifice for the first date? Man, you're selfish.

    "The most disgusting argument that I have heard is, "A man must show 'investment' in me. If he doesn't pay for dinner then it shows he's not invested." I had no idea that a woman's sexuality and dating experience was a stock option. Please Gents, don't fall for this either. What a woman is really saying is that she has the expectation to essentially be bartered for." Then here is my advice, STAY SINGLE AND MISERABLE. And stop whining how you can't get a girl. Everybody don't share your views. And you're lying about "What a woman is really saying is that she has the expectation to essentially be bartered for." WRONG. A woman expects to be respected and treated as a woman, the same way she should be treating him as a man. If other girls do what you're saying, THAT'S THEM. That is NOT me. You're entitled to your opinion, but don't lie on women who don't share your views. That is what dating is for. Finding out who is right for you and be with somebody who shares them. Thanks for reinforcing my choices to never date in this life. You just called all traditional women, religious women, etc GOLDDIGGERS.

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    • Thing is you can look at a man and demand he be a 'man' and treat you like a woman by paying for you. He could just as equally demand that you act like a 'woman' and treat him like a man by staying at home, cooking and cleaning, while he goes out to work. You want traditional values when it suits you and yell sexism when it doesn't. Can't have it both ways.

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    • No one wants to date a narcissist.

    • @Harry_Richard

      Of course, no one wants to date a narcissist. This is not about narcissism, it is about what YOU as an individual of what you have to do for yourself before you can share that with other people. So no. I don't think you care to understand the gravity of how people chose to handle their lives differently. As I said before I am celibate and have no desire for that anymore. Therefore as I said, I have to take care of myself by myself. That is not narcissism. I refuse to give myself to just any and everybody. That's called being smart. Not narcissism.

Most Helpful Guys

  • Here are my personal observations on this matter. Feel free to agree, or disagree in the comments below. They're clueless about it themselves. Be warned that this may make you hate women, or me:
    A woman is by inherent nature, asset and trade minded. They have always been so. Everything is an asset to them including their family and their own body. It's not about money. It's about resources and access. Now, those things are most easily provided in the modern day by money.
    In the stone age, they wanted safety, stability, and security and the quickest way to get that was to grab a strong man and give him the fuel for his attraction, i. e. Sex. Only the man fell in love. That's a thing which only men experience. Not women. Fast forward a few hundred years, and they no longer have a need for protection as such, and most women now are more than capable of earning on their own. Hence, men aren't as precious a commodity as they used to be. So, what use does a man have today? The answer is fun, assets and her emotions. Everything is a means to an end for her:
    She uses men and especially Rich men to gain assets.
    She uses Powerful men to get her way and have protection.
    She uses Popular men to feed off his social status.
    She has a different lover and a different person who offers her a shoulder to cry on and one who lets her feel like a mom.
    This all manifests itself in the facts that she would not like to pay for her bills. If she's earning, and you're married, what she earns is hers, and a significant part of what you earn is also hers, which she'll be spending on her own interests. Whatever you have left is what's invested for the sake of the family. She even chooses fun guys when she wants to have fun, and then ultimately marries someone who has a stable future because she doesn't want her assets taken away. And all this while, she would give her body up to anyone who can meet her demands in order to pay them back for their service to secure the continuation of such a trade. Not to mention that everyone likes sex.
    She likes to be bought, not because it shows off masculinity, but because she has everything to gain from it. She realises that men have a sexual drive that attracts them towards her, and she realises that she can utilise that for her personal benefit on both ends if she just makes her sexual assets unavailable and puts terms on its availability.
    The human mind is not something to be taken as a joke. That's most evident when you see women.

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    • It's not that complicated. The human mind is indeed a joke, and a very simple one. Women are whores, they sell their sexuality for money/resources and protection. That's all there is to it. They just don't like to be called out on it.
      The only honest women you will ever find, are prostitutes.

  • Dating is prostitution you just don't always get what you pay for

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    • But you do get exactly what you want in prostitution that's the whole point no games and straight to the point

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What Girls Said 48

  • I don't give a rat's ass how much money a guy has. I wouldn't fuck Mark Zuckerberg even if he gave me all the money he stole from his friends at Harvard. He's not sexually attractive, he dresses like a 14 yo boy, and he has the personality of an area rug.

    Guys buy girls dinner because the guy asked her out. That's basic social etiquette. If one person asks another to lunch or dinner, the asker pays.

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    • That's fine, but I always get girls asking me out and never would they be expecting to pay for the whole thing, in fact some have happily let me pay for the whole thing without saying anything.

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    • Men normally can't play the "free meal" angle. My family is rich, but I am still not paying for a women.

    • Yes, and it is also basic etiquette that the man asks the woman out. Shall we perhaps invent some etiquette's that don't benefit women -- see how pro-etiquette you are then.

  • Maybe I'm just a simple person but here I am thinking the person just wanted to be nice. I've had many people buy me meals not just males that were sexually interested in me. Friends, coworkers, etc. nad then I will repay them by paying for the next meal.

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    • LOL, talk about naive. This is why a lot of women are shocked when they get older and stuff like that no longer happens...

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    • Freeloading until wrinkles. Niice.

    • I can't help it if someone is stupid enough to be a doormat to buy me things. If they're stupid enough to buy me something, I won't deny them. I don't plan on having children so I won't be getting stretch marks, and I'll have extra money to spend on skin care products. Trolling the rejection filled men on GAG is a favorite activity of mine. Those idiots take the bait every damn time.

  • I wouldn't pay to date men when I can have casual sex with hot guys. This is the honest to god truth. It's more of a supply and demand thing with sex that's stacked in the women's favor.

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    • I wish I was a woman. Its so easy. Lol

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    • A lot of women say dating is just as hard for women

    • @bekkesmash I don't think either sex needs each other anymore. Women have vibrators. Guys blow up dolls.

  • I agree for the most part. If a dude is a true feminist/equalist and that shows in how he treats me and other women, I'm happy to split the check or take turns picking up the tab. If he wants to retain certain gender roles that benefit him, though... nah, not happening. So basically, "what's good for the goose is good for the gander." There are guys out there who only want equality when it benefits them, too.

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    • Exactly. It's a two way road. There's a reason I actually look for feminists instead of making fun of them and trolling them. It's worth the patience for a better relationship.

  • It is not buying her. It's the gentleman thing to do. Females who aren't gold diggers and users appreciate it.

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    • Thank you!!! It's saddening to see how many cheap ass guys with inferiority complexes are on here who bitch about having to pay for dates.

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    • It would be the gentlewoman to pay me a meal, you know? Why don't you ask me out, and pay my meal for me? I mean, women are after all out-earning men today, and the college gender ratio is 60-40 in favor of women. I mean, if anything, the gender role-patterns should be reversing! Be a gentlewoman, and pay my meal for me! (Yes, you heard it right, men payed the dinner for women because they didn't have a solid income in the 20th century. Mind blown!) Lastly, females who 'aren't gold diggers and users appreciate it' so basically men are supposed to take a leap of faith. If they get used? Tough shit. So this is the equality feminism has promised! Very impressed.

    • @Svennedude2 Sorry that you're too much of a bitch boy to understand what it's like to be a gentleman. :/

  • Another person confusing equal with identical here.

    Honestly, you are supposed to split the bills. The one who offers the date/gives the treat has to pay.

    I'm tired of bullshit already. All women who want men to pay in dates aren't gold diggers. Do you even know what a gold digger means?

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    • Not supposed to*

    • Why do you want us to pay then? You have full right to say no if you know you can't afford to split the bill. And IF the guy becomes DESPERATE and CONSTANTLY harasses you until you say yes, THEN expect him to pay the bill. Because in that case, he probably will anyway and he is fully responsible. If he expects to split the bill after, THEN say to him fuck you and dump his ass. Men shouldn't be so desperate in the first place. Horrible what they'll do just to get a girl in the bedroom/under their control. But if he asks once and you say yes, then you are consenting. And the bill should be split.

    • Okay, so tell me exactly what benefits men have in dating? You realize that these etiquette's were made in times that women had no solid income. Women were reliant on men paying for them. Today, women in their 20's on average out-earn men. Yet women have grown accustomed to these etiquette's. And I'm done hearing these lame excuses like 'whoever asks the person out pays' when guys still today do 95% of the initiating. A lame excuse to keep your wallet full or stroke your ego perhaps? Bad women can use men whenever they want. A man just needs to get lucky that he doesn't meet a bad person who will screw him over. I see nothing equal in that.

  • I agree. I'm all for chivalry and I do get offended if a guy lets me walk on the road side of a footpath or doesn't hold a door open for me, but I always offer to pay or at least split the bill for whatever it is.
    I also find that paying or splitting the bill, buying a gift in return when he's purchased something for me etc. is a good way to make sure we're even. Like, if I don't like him I don't feel obligated to keep seeing him, you get me?
    Speaking from past experiences. I'm happily married now.

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  • My boyfriend buys me dinner. He knows I am committed to him. Why would he buy me dinner?

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    • This post is really meant for early dating. Before things are official

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    • @Svennedude2 fuck no

    • So let me get this straight... I'm a man, so I should not be paid for, but because you are a woman, you should be. Equality, right?

  • Men in Barbados love paying for food. I came back 115 lbs when I went there about 108 two months before, haha they are raised that way.
    Anyway I think men who pay for dinner are sexy, come on fellas, be sexy.

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    • Women who pay for food are even sexier.

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    • @Z-Spark agreed. I hope less and less women think this way as time goes on. Its pathetic really to see so many stuck in 1940.

  • I'm not gonna buy a guys affection either so I guess it's a standoff.

    I will say when I have paid for myself guys think I'm not interested or too feminist. Sigh.

    Basically, there's no way to win. Better just learn to love being alone.

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  • It's more of a matter of social norms. It's both sexes that are guilty of following them. For instance what you said about paying for meals. But now look at it the other way around. I know women who, like their husbands, they work full time jobs. By because of social norms, they are expected to have dinner made and take care of the kids after a long day of work. Of course there are exceptions to the norms.

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    • Times have changed though. Women are out-earning men in their 20's, and they are gender ratio in college is 60-40 right now. It's about time that we start adjusting to the 21st century when it comes to dating. A lot of people are still stuck in 20th century dating, because it benefits their wallet, or because they enjoy the ego stroke. I have to admit as a guy it's even hard for me when I'm on a date. If I don't pay, it automatically feels as if Implying that I'm not interested in her.

    • I'm not saying that gender norms are ok, but it's hard to get rid of. It also goes the other way around. I don't feel comfortable having a guy pay for everything at the beginning of a relationship. But some even feel insulted if you turn it down. I do agree that people should just get used to the changes and not get hung up in the past.

    • Certainly. Something that comes to mind is that the media has never pointed us in the right direction. From Hollywood to News Networks, when have they given clear guidelines to modern dating? I in fact believe a lot of matchmakers still believe in traditional stereotype role patterns when it comes to modern dating. At the end of the day, it's not the end of the world that I pay, but it feels like an injustice in the back of my head that I pay all because I am a man. Especially because I believe that men and women should equally do the chores in the house.

  • Even when I go out for coffee I will offer to pay or at least my own. I get weird when people spend money on me. I would never go out with a guy with expectation in mind that he is paying, that is not fair.

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  • Welp, of course this can't apply to everyone, but I practically had to fight my boyfriend about splitting on the first date because I see no reason why I can't be responsible for myself. However, I'm one of those girls who only goes on dates when interested in the guy himself (ie. Not his status, wealth, etc.)

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  • "Paying dinner is the purchasing or buying of a woman for an intimate sexual relationship." What? It seems a little presumptuous that I, or any other woman, would have sex with a guy just because he paid for dinner. I think whoever asks should pay. When I first started dating my boyfriend, if I asked him on a date, I would pay. Going halfsies or not letting the guy pay out of some feminist agenda is stupid. If someone pays for both people, it's a date. If each pays there own, it's just doing the same thing at the same time.

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    • You are required to. Its just what a guy is thinking when he pays for your bill. I dont view women like that because splitting checks is more respectful of women than lavishing them in order to get something else in return. we all know the game.

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    • @Apope16 WAIT! Hold on there bud. Sex is a bit more serious then paying for dinner. The way I think it should be done is if a guy likes a girl, he should make 100% sure it's serious vice versa if he asks for a date. If not, then he shot himself in the foot when it comes to paying for the date. If he got so desperate for her even if she didn't seem interested, it's his fault. And sex shouldn't be expected. In any case it shouldn't. If both people really like each other, they'll be willing to split the bill. But don't start shitting on feminists. I dated a feminist and it was the best relationship I had. She wanted independence and I enjoyed it. We took turns paying for stuff and expected nothing from each other. It worked well! Just because both pay doesn't mean it's not a date. Dates can be considered many things nowadays. It's up to the users, not stereotypes.

    • 'If someone pays for both people, it's a date' Of course it is to you, because women get asked out 95% of the time. It's very beneficial for you to think that way. Of course you only bring up 'feminist agenda' as a negative thing when it does not benefit you. Typical woman who cherry picks all the good things women received in the 20th century, whilst combining it with the beneficial things women receive in the 21st century, like equality. It's so easy to use men if you really want as a woman. All a man has to do is take a leap of faith and pray the woman isn't going to screw him over, right. I'm sure that seems pretty fair to you as well, correct?

  • it's just a form of respect. men pay for each other sometimes and it's still a form of respect. if women are using you for a meal then you really need to reconsider where you're meeting these women and what type of people you're seeing. understand that a coffee or a meal doesn't mean you've paid for sex. if I go out with a guy then I'm doing so because I'm genuinely interested in getting to know him. if he's not my type and insists on paying then he can't call it "gold digging" when I dont call him back. I can guarantee you that most women can afford meals.

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    • They can afford it. But why pay ever again if you are a hot girl? Its not about chics being poor, its about chics using men. You are a rare breed. Most women could go on a hundred dates a year. With messages they get.. all first dates too.

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    • The women I date split checks without issue. But 90% of women in society reject outright the consideration of a man as a sexual partner simply for paying his half of a bill. Its not about paying for sex. Its about using the potential for sex as blackmail to compel a man to pay. How nice and kind and gentlemanly a man is gets completely ignored. Just admit that its wrong please.

    • a relationship requires money. nothing is free and if you think that things in a relationship are free then your girl is the one paying for everything. everyone deserves love but if someone is struggling financially then I would suggest fixing that major issue first before bringing someone else into their life

  • My guy and I take turns paying for dates. Whenever we go to dinner and a movie, he will buy dinner and I will pay for the movie, plus all the treats. He will buy dinner, I buy dinner, we take turns, because it is an equal partnership. It has been that way, since our first date.

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  • I don't know what to say to this post as a housegirlfriend... I must be a gold digger :-p everything is paid by my partner

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  • I think splitting should be a natural, mutual agreement

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    • The voice of reason. Glad to see there are women out there with commonsense.

  • "How a man treats you and respects you is what is manly."

    And that can't involve paying for a date? Paying for a woman's dinner isn't "buying her." It's basically like giving a gift.

    "Women shall never be equal in our society unless they reclaim the notion for themselves. Sign up for selective service, become the main breadwinner (as many wonderful single moms are), unleash your sexual prowess in the bedroom, and above all, split the check at dinner or happy hour."

    Men shall never be equal unless they reclaim the notion for themselves. Just like how technology has enabled women to compete relatively well in the battlefield, technology must be designed so that men give birth to as many babies as women. If we can find a way to land on the moon, we can find a way to do that.

    "Time is far more precious and expensive than money."

    Then I hope that men are willing to put as much time into their physical appearance as women do.

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    • But what exactly is a man getting in return for paying for a date? I personally don't see a problem with it, but this guy is talking about equality here and I don't think you can argue with that.

      Men can't give birth and that's just going off on an unnecessary tangent. Giving birth has nothing to do with paying for a date, for God sake.

      Some men put a lot of time, if not more time into their physical appearance. Maybe not more time in the same way that women do, but when you consider the time and effort involved in getting a good body. That definitely shows a lot of consideration to one's physical appearance. And I also don't see how that's an argument anyway, in fact it's irrelevant again.

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    • and I am completely tired of people who can't read and reason yet want to take out their poor comprehension on me by trying to argue with points I never made and go on weak tangents. its getting to the point where I am starting to make grammar mistakes in my own replies. I dont know what is wrong with this site, but im fed up with this.

    • and to help steer you in the right direction look at the law called the Direct Ground Combat Definition and Assignment Rule which forbids women from being on the front lines as the congress was also well aware of the poor stats that women signing up for the military put up. They put this law in place for the simple fact of looking at the data and seeing that women were not able to fight on the front lines, and the same thing applies today.

  • Goodness sense money is a huge ordeal to men these days just eat before going anywhere with them cause they will flip out over it.

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    • If the people that you're chasing is a huge ordeal, over you... maybe you should chase different men.

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    • That's great that you don't expect an arm and a leg, but for some guys, it's still money. Both men AND women have spending problems. I don't like the guys who spend like that either. Or the women. Cause then it says a lot about them and they need to stop their spending addiction because then if I wanna hang out, they are flat broke. But not ALL guys spend that money on wasteful things and neither do girls. I may be a cheap ass, but it wouldn't just come to dates, it comes for everything. Whether it's food, games, shoes, etc, I save as much money as I can. It's smart. Not giving in to spending money is smart.

    • If it's not a big deal, then just pay the meal yourself.

  • I didn't read all that. It was too long and seem interesting enough.

    However I was curious, does that include if she offers to pay?

    Is she buying you if she makes you dinner?

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    • That's not how society works. That's not how any of this works.

      If she buys a man dinner she is buying him dinner. Chances are he could pay anyway and doesn't need her to pay. He's there for her companionship, the food is added benefit. A beautiful girl AND a good meal? Excellent.

      SHE, on the other hand, doesn't have a job or income and uses men to get a free meal ticket. She isn't interested in spending time with him, she's just hungry and knows he'll pay.

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    • There are no "better women" hence why I stopped dating.

    • @Harry_Richard LMFAO! she doesn't have a job or income? why not? where do you live?

  • Sigh. And this is exactly why I don't like involving money so early on. It's such an incredibly sensitive subject to so many people and it's so easy to tarnish whatever potential your relationship had just by bringing up the issue of money on a date. I don't want to feel like I owe someone something (oftentimes sex) just because they bought me dinner, especially if I don't know this person very well and I'm not sure if things will work out.
    I consider myself a modern girl. That last picture does not describe a modern girl. It describes a traditional girl who is trying to pose as a modern girl so that things still can work in her favor (she can keep holding on to her values secretly while at the same time impressing the guy with her "pro-equality" views) - which is why she ends up holding resentment if the dude accepts her offer of splitting the bill or paying for her share. That's everything BUT a modern girl.

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  • I have to fight my boyfriend not to pay for me, he still wins but I'm not forcing him to do shit and when he doesn't have any money, I pay

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  • In my opinion always making the guy pay is ridiculous. When it comes to my friends I am always willing to give them money if needed, and pay for things they want. Even when spending time with a guy (not sure if you can really call it a date though) I refused to let him pay for me. I don't like when others pay, no matter sex or gender, because I'll feel indebted to them, and it bothers me a lot. If I don't have my money on me and someone is offering, I'll grudgingly accept and promise to pay them back later. I may be young but I'm not 5, I can take care of myself, and plan to for some time. I grew up knowing you shouldn't rely on anyone. Being independent is best, just don't go overboard with it.

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  • Only broke bitches date guys for free dinners.

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  • My husband paid for most of our dates

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    • Exaclty lol and if he didn't you wouldn't be with him right cause you wouldn't feel he cared lol
      Imagine that... money over love

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    • @Billybob46 I think yes... and that's an interesting question to ask her... if the girl insists on paying all the time... is that ok too?

    • @TripleAce Yeah I would think so. Especially if a rich woman dates a middle class man.

  • This post was such a downer, so much negativity.

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    • Im surprised to see how many cheap, selfish guys are on here smh

    • @bronzergirl Really? It's not selfish. It's smart. If you want a stupid guy, go find one! It's pretty easy. Enjoy! ;)

    • @bronzergirl I'm surprised how many entitled women are on here. You just feel entitled to free meals. How easy it must be to be a girl. Apply some make-up, get guys to ask you out, free meal. If you don't like him, goodbye and thanks for the free meal. These guys are so selfish smh! I'm honestly disgusted by your attitude. This isn't the 20th century anymore, where women aren't making any money, which is exactly why men paid women's meal in the first place during that time. You can't just cherry pick all the benefits of a time where women weren't equal, while still reaping all the benefits of a time where women are equal. It makes absolutely no sense, but it is still happening to this day. I'll never understand why we're equal in everything in our society, except when it comes to dating.

  • Lol what? xD

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  • Tl;dr. But nope. Wrong.

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  • Pretty much.

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What Guys Said 57

  • 1. Yes, there are gold diggers on dating websites. There are also gold diggers sitting at bars waiting for you to buy them a drink.

    2. Paying for dinner is buying sex from a woman only if we both operate with that implicit understanding. If I don't expect sex on a first, second, or third date, how am I buying sex? The last long term relationship I had, I paid for all of our dates for two years; we did not have sex until 4 months into the relationship. If I thought I was just buying sex, I would have moved on before that 4 months had transpired without sex.

    3. Many of us grew up with traditional gender roles. Following those roles is comfortable for us. It is not related to equality or a belief that women are weaker. None of my past partners would say that I treated them like a second class citizen. Treating someone as an equal does NOT mean treating them identically. Many women have no aptitude for mechanical things or home repairs; should I buy my girlfriend a set of tools just to prove that I consider her to be an equal?

    4. There are guys who think that paying for a meal entitles them to sex. They either get slapped, cursed, and dumped, or they get laid by a willing participant. That's not going to change. That is part of the dating landscape.

    5. You sound like you have had some bad experiences and you have some very obvious residual scars. You need to realize that everyone else has not had the same experiences that you have had and we see things differently. I don't agree with your myTake. I only have pity for you.

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    • How do you guys feel about women making the use of a mans credit card each dinner the make or break condition of whether she puts out?

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    • @Svennedude2 Why should you let someone else dictate to you the rules for how you conduct yourself as a man? Why do you simply accede to the "right" of feminists to change how the rest of us conduct ourselves?

      And if you are a traditional male, why would you chase after a "liberated" woman instead of a woman with traditional ideas about gender roles? NO! I am what I am, I will not change, and my girlfriend is an intelligent and hard working woman who acts like a "traditional" female. I'm happy, so where's the problem?

    • At least you get the full package of a traditional woman, then? Meaning, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids? I hope so, because a lot of these women with traditional dating values, are polar opposites in the rest of their lives, meaning 50-50 cleaning, cooking and taking care of the kids. I'm simply annoyed at those women who are frankly cherry pickers.

  • I pay if I ask her out, seems fair, cause I'm the one who asked her for her time. Its a gesture to say I appreciate it. If its mutual or if I'm asked out, I usually don't.
    I don't think of it as chivalry or something so grand.
    The Chivalric Code was a code of honor between knights and how to conduct their duties. Its not meant to be some dame's fantasy about how a man should stoop to conquer. This word has been grossly misused. Its not nearly as glamorous as people make it out to be.

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    • I get asked out by women. Then they expect me to pay. Lol.

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    • Well even if you get asked out lol... it's not like she's actually ok with paying... maybe like once.. but women that are in demand are waaaaay too conditioned to even think she should...

      I've had a lot of women pay.. actually more than Id expect.. but it's never with no strings attached lol... like if one day we get into a fight hahah it comes out 'oh and I even paid for you arhhh'

      lol

    • @TripleAce yeah its an interesting debate. If you reverse the expectations of men and women its fascinating. like, tell someone you want to be a stay at home dad... or a nanny...

  • I have always treated men and women equally and had the same expectations of all grown adults to be responsible for themselves and I believe that everyone regardless of sex, race, social standing etc. has the right to be respected enough to be expected to be responsible for themselves.

    As the youngest child in my family I understand the frustration that comes with less having been expected of me than everyone else and being the only one not able to pay for my own meals, support myself, etc.

    I cannot speak from the point of view of a woman, but having been raised by a mother who is very much self-reliant and self-respecting, as well as a sister who is quite intelligent and independent, I am lucky enough to have had very positive female role models in my life and not a single experience in my life thus far has threatened my views in this respect or encouraged me to see females as inherently beneath me. Every time I am confronted with an example of a female acting foolish or failing to function in society and am therefore expected to believe it condemns all females, I wonder why males who act just as foolishly or fail just as spectacularly are ignored.

    I bought my girlfriend dinner once when we first met. She knows full well that I respect her as my equal and that I was not trying to make some statement to her that I'm in charge of her life or she has to submit to me or something. I told her right from the beginning that I wanted to take her out somewhere, she accepted, and I got to feel the joy of doing something nice for someone I love while she got to feel the joy of being treated kindly. As things currently stand, she actually has a better job than I do and I often feel that she is the more financially and emotionally stable one between us. But we are honest and sincere about how we communicate with each other, and have a mutual respect.

    This article makes very broad generalizations and speaks from absolute extreme points of view It shows an utter lack of faith in people and at worst will perpetuate the very problem it addresses by suggesting that nobody in the world can ever be expected to respect themselves or anyone else. This in turn urges us defend ourselves from being labeled as sexist by being afraid to ever do something nice for someone or let someone do something nice for us, for fear of our intentions being misunderstood. Consequently, these harmful ideas spread and continue to harm us all. Not everything is an act of oppression.

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    • Yes. That is the point of the article. Without generalising and assumptions, you have no pronciples. No clear definition in life. But for me, if I didn't do it itd be a boring article.

  • So don't pay. Come on, I dare you to if actually believe this. You know what will happen? You'll look extremely rude and put off most women. Buying her dinner is not buying her, it's just a social convention, and if you do it a woman may or may not want another date with you. It really comes down to if you have a good personality, but not buying her dinner will just make her think you're cheap,

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    • I pay out of principle, however she better show me that she's thankful otherwise I won't be seeing her again.

      I pay because I feel like providing, simple as that. I don't do it out of some fear like you seem to do. I would happily not pay if I wanted to. I don't give a shit if a woman who earns as much as me thinks I'm cheap because I didn't pay for her, she's the cheap one.

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    • Thank you OP!!! Finally a guy admits that guys who complain and bitch about paying are just cheap asses.

    • @bronzergirl So what you are saying? Is a man who is poor is not deserving of love? Also, splitting a check is not what I wold regard as "cheap". Freeloading and not paying anything is cheap.

  • Of course it isn't Chivalry for it to be Chivalry, Chivalry would have to actually do with women. When in reality it doesn't, the only mention of women in the entire code of chivalry is to treat them with respect.

    Everything else in the doe deals with the battlefield, single combat and the duties of a knight.

    Paying for someone's meal is a gentlemanly gesture, nothing more, nothing less.

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  • LOL.

    I always ask the women I date why they like older men. The number one reason is, "Because they don't expect me to pay [for a date]".

    You just keep asking the girls to pay and I will keep sleeping with them.

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    • I've seen you post the exact same thing on similar topics previously. You're like a broken record. Like I said to you before, I'll say it again. The women you're dating are USING you, that's why you're dating them. If you're happy with that, more power to you. But don't start laughing at others for having some self respect.

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    • @Kkaos i haven't really posted on this topic at all. I mostly give other types of advice. Ifbyou are referring to this post, I repeat myself because each response is a separate conversation. Im not MGTOW. im a 21 century feminist rather than a 20th century feminist.

    • OP, I'm glad that there are men on this post who have common sense. Like seriously.

  • When a guy asks a woman for a date, he's inviting her to be his guest. As a 'guest', she shouldn't have to pay for ANYTHING. I always considered it an honor that a woman would spend time with me, and paying for dinner shows her that I'm being considerate of her. If I happen to get sex out of the whole thing, that's fantastic, but what I want is just some companionship.

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  • It's only "buying her" if you are demanding sex, or some other reward, in return. If all you ask is a fair chance at love, and the same courtesy from her that you show to her, that's still pretty fair.

    Would it be more loving to demand she pay her Dutch half, and then leave her for the cops or the dishwashing if she falls a few dollars short on her end?

    If I think neither of us can afford a certain restaurant, I simply won't eat there. But if she is just a few dollars shy her Dutch half, you think I'm "buying her" if I pick up the tab even a little?

    Posts like this are the reason chivalry is so rare. Willful ignorance in the quest to achieve some sort of "special" relevance.

    This kind of ignorance, however, is almost more grating than some of the twisted logic atheist rants I've read on here. They at least can point out that they don't want to be ruled in their hearts by someone unseen and unheard, even if that too has its caveats.

    But this? You are denying men a right to voice what is really in their hearts, to paint a broad brush about something where the ethics are not so simple.

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  • If you change the headline this will be a much more attractive article.

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    • And no, not all sexes are created equal, they're created differently to each be more likely to condition better to certain things, of course as you clearly want it to be in your imagination, you're entitled to that pattern of thought. But you're wrong.

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    • Lol! nice!

    • But seriously, apope16 Quit this guilt shit. Get on your game, you don't have to sell us out because "muhfeels"

  • Ok I see where you have tried to come from, unfortunately your execution has only harmed both genders here. I will pay for a dinner because that is how I was raised, however I would pay regardless due to the idea that I asked "her" out on the date and she accepted thus I'm prepared as I'm the one who organised it.

    A split bill is of course ok as well, but that is something to be discussed between two people and is generally kept to the relationship side of things because what yours is mine kind of deal.
    Some women may yes be Gold diggers but I can assure you that if she really were a full time one she wouldn't be having dinner with you, she would be with an old rich man on the verge, and just to even the score, there is a generous amount of male shit bags out there.

    To be honest the pendulum swings both ways, if he pays for dinner it doesn't mean she has signed a contract to have his children. It's unfair to put the whole of a gender in one space and the other in another. Women aren't Gold diggers, men aren't A-typical shitbags, it is just as simple as this, some people are good and others aren't, the question is are you going to fall to their level because it's what is easy or rise above it. how you see the world and act is up to you, but remember every decision we make is one that can affect many.

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  • Of course it's buying her... --> which is clearly why rich guys can get girls... it's really not a coincident

    I met a girl that literally made it clear her last boyfriend paid for everything... clothes, dinners, gas, being her chauffeur... I was like get the F outta here lol... This girl is damaged goods...

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  • Women do expect it. No woman is going to sleep with you just because you bought dinner-but its not going to do your cause any good if you don't pick up the check or even go "dutch treat". Never known a woman to insist when I told her I'd get it. Most women will pick up the occasional check (usually breakfast or lunch) after you've gone out for awhile. I just ended a relationship of a year with a girl who was ridiculously wealthy. I'm a working stiff and do ok but she makes a lot more. We had a lot on common and enjoyed each other but she never ever picked up a check and I never let one sit on the table-and she had really expensive tastes.

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    • I'm sorry to hear that bro. yeah, I just dated a woman for 2 years who made a lot more money than me when i was in graduate school. I was working 2 jobs but dirt poor. It was very frustrating having her pick up the tab. I always wondered why I felt so much anger and shame whenever she paid even though she was making 3x's more than I did. I think when I was making like $12,000 per year she was making $35,000. But the reason why I was so upset about not paying was because of societal pressure.

  • This is really simple to deal with.

    1. Stop chasing after gold-digging sluts. Instead, go after the genuine, good-hearted women. There are plenty out there, man.

    2. Stop going on expensive dates, especially in the beginning. The right girl won't give a shit if you paid $10 for some coffee and scones vs dropping a hundred bucks at some stuffy restaurant.

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  • lol well yeah plenty of guys have told me how they got laid buying girls food and drinks, especially vodka girls like that for some reason and they are much more into sex after drinking it.

    paying for a girl is buying that girl its as simple that thats why some men pay, TO GET LAID , if you're not my girlfriend, fiance or wife i have no reason to pay for you unless i want sex.

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  • I don't see why this is a problem. These women are easy to avoid!

    For every one woman looking for a relationship and expecting to get paid for on a first date, there is one woman who will gladly put out for free. Ignore/cutoff the girls who are looking for relationships and dive in for women looking to have to have fun.

    Hell @raspberry0416 just said what I said...

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  • I didn't read a word besides the title, but yes! That is prostitution, the women obviously being the prostitute.

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  • I think otherwise. It all depends on how you do it. If you are taking her out on a fancy date to impress her at the finest restaurant, then yeah, that is buying her. Save that for when you are married and it is both of your money. But buying her some ice cream and fries at McDonald's is chivalry.

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  • I'm sorry, but if you asked her to dinner, then you issued the invitation you should be willing to pay for her meal. If I invite you to my house for dinner, I am not expecting you to bring me dinner, cook for me, or provide a venue, I have taken that on by inviting you. It is the same thing when you ask someone out. If you aren't willing to pay for it, don't ask.

    Also, Chivalry WAS sexist.

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    • But 90% of the time women won't make the first move and wait to be asked out. Society still literally expects this behavior. lol

    • @MrNameless that is true, and women who do make the first move often are not responded to well. Though it was how things got started with my second serious relationship.

  • Most of the time buying dinner for a lady is how men get their foot in the door! No I don't feel like it is buying her, especially if I asked her out! Granted, there are gold diggers out there, but paying for a dates dinner, is really chivalrous if I initiated the date to begin with!

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  • You´re of course entitled to your opinion. I disagree entirely...
    Depends on the meaning you attach to it. You clearly have strong views on the topic I just don´t see it like this at all...
    I don´t see it as women being less than, for me taking a woman to a restaurant is just romantic and being a gentleman...
    Not all the time no I agree with you. I can see that would be unconfortable and not something I´d want to do either. Splitting bills is tacky on a date. Most women these days do pay and if I could see she was a little uncomfortable I´d say how about you get dinner next time...
    Do we really need to take the sparkle out of everything nice by having some serious gender based conversation.

    Like I say these are your views I feel you in the minority though. Ask 1000 if when the bill arrived on a date the guy said yep lets go Dutch if they´d honestly be impressed, my guess is no

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    • This is exactly why it ruins it for other men out there... cause you have a butt load of guys willing to do anything for a girl...

  • So let me get this straight: we're a chauvinist if we pay, and a deadbeat if we don't.

    "Women are meant to be loved, not understood."--Oscar Wilde

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  • I agree, but...

    IF i invite in the 1ST date... i think it's a kindness that I pay. The other date we can see what it will be like... but I do not see problem in paying if I invited and if it is the first meeting.

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  • I never take a female out for dinner on a first date. We'll have coffee and if that goes well, dinner another time. This goes double if you met her on a dating app.

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  • sexes aren't equal. never have never will. honestly.. I've met a lot of girls who offer to pay.. i choose to pay sometimes depends on the girl i'm with and how i view her.

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  • If a guy offers to pay for a date he was brought up right... if a girl expects a guy to pay for a date, she was brought up wrong.

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    • These are 20th century rules that were invented in times that women had no solid income. Of course men were supposed to pay as gentlemen with a solid income. Welcome to the 21st century! Women outearn men in their 20's. Times change. Stop clinging to the past. In all aspects of our lives we are taught that we are equal, with the exception of our dating lives. Why? Because it benefits women.

    • @Svennedude2 would you treat your girlfriend to lunch or dinner?

  • That's why you go somewhere cheap. If it cost more than $20-$40 on a first date. Drop her. That girl is gonna tire both you and your bank account out. Chase a check. Never chase a...

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  • i don't know if i'd calling it buying her so much as trying to buy her affections but i agree it sure ain't chivalry.

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  • WELL SAID M8! WELL SAID! HOLY SHIT YES!! SO FUCKING TRUE! Men that give into this are dumb and being taken advantage of right under their noses! I know women have similar issues the other way around, but it's nice to see a GUY say something about this. MEN need to start thinking SMART. The more we stand together and say "we ain't suckers, we ain't getting fucked over" the more women will realize that and start fighting for their rights and making the feminist movement more popular. I want it too AS LONG AS they do it right!

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  • Women exept you to pay for the first restaurent. Not ALL of them. Jeez

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    • True. All is click bait. Most women I've dated split checks. Then again they are feminist women typically.

  • I do not go to a restaurant on the first few dates. And places that serve alcohol are a major No No.

    There are too many other ways to spend those first moments together hoping to see if that elusive spark is there.

    A few years ago I actually had an attractive woman from the Plenty Of Fish dating site tell me she is not interested in a relationship. She uses her dating profile to use as bait to get men to take her out to dinner. She told me it is the easiest free food she ever ate.

    If she wants to eat on our initial dates she can pack a lunch lol

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