I was just asking someone for some advice, and was told that marriage was a bad deal for men under most circumstances. I never plan on marrying...that's something I decided on as soon as I hit puberty and 8 or so years later...I feel the exact same way. Only now, I feel like even dating is a complete bust. A lose-lose situation. Here's why I personally think dating in this generation is a no go...if you can even call it "dating", at least from my personal experience.
This is An Age of Materialism
Up until now, I've never really heard the terms "beta" and "alpha" male thrown around outside of National Geographic. But now, it's more apparent than ever that dating has de-evolved so to speak. Mate selection (or shall we say, date selection) is based entirely on materialism. I have not once seen a girl who wouldn't completely drool over a tall, muscular man. An alpha. There's absolutely no care in the world for anyone who society brands a "beta" in this stupid little game. And sadly, I'm in that category for things I can't possibly change.
For one, I am fighting an on-going battle with Asperger's Syndrome (which is something that will probably never be stopped unless a cure is found). Anyone with this might as well be a "beta" due to their distinct interests (which don't always revolve around manly things such as sports) and the judgement thrown around. If whoever I talk to finds out about my disease, it's already strike one. I'll always try to hide my disorder, but unfortunately, I'm not going to be perfect- and women are very attentive to detail. If they don't pick up my undesirable quirks...they'll notice upfront my other physical flaws. There's my weight, which I'm working on every day. But there's also my height..I'm under six foot and also have a cleft lip. Meaning nasty, crooked teeth. They don't like that stuff and most will be instantly turned off by it.
I've Never Had Many Positive Experiences With Women
I may have had a few girlfriends, but most of them either dumped or cheated on me. Then there's the instance in which I was with a significantly bigger girl who assaulted me (not that anyone here is going to believe that for a second...because apparently men can't go through that stuff). I know some women will read this, laugh, and label me as a bitter manchild. Go right ahead. But I feel as if I have every reason to step out of the dating game for a long while. I'm not saying all are like this, but at this point...I simply don't want to get hurt again. Who does? And might I add, even on a platonic playing field, I've had issues.
My mother is extremely toxic and has said some incredibly nasty things to me as I am struggling to get through college (and the bullying I still endure...community colleges aren't all that great) and work to earn enough money so I can leave St.Louis and everyone in it behind. This all means, of course, I've just learned to be extra careful around girls. Not getting too close, not overstepping my boundaries, and knowing the warning signs of a user. It's not too hard to stay away from them given they are repelled from my height and weight alone. But still, should anyone dare to go near this monster I've become, I know to be careful and not trust them upfront if they start to say I'm attractive (which rarely happens anyways).
Nobody Wants To Get To Know One Another
If you've been following the news, this could go for a lot of situations going on in this generation outside the dating world. But to keep things on target, we are gravitating more towards a hook-up culture. Even dating sites tend to prioritize characteristics not in any way related to personality or establishing any real chemistry. On any app I've ever used, financial status and physical characteristics (height, weight, eye color, blood type...anything surface level) played a bigger part in making matches. That's probably why I never had any luck from them.
The Easiest Way Not To Lose...Is Not Playing
I tend to see modern dating as I would those lottery scratchoff tickets. You go through so many tickets (or people), and more often than not you get burned. Only the luckiest individual is going to hit the jackpot (a person worth keeping around). So to me, it's very simple.- don't invest, and you won't lose anything. I never played the actual lottery except for when I was very young and would go get a $1 scratchoff somewhere (and get crushed every time, of course) and I'm glad I never tried to go that route. Same goes for dating. I'm glad I no longer throw myself out in the open to get trampled on anymore. Sometimes I wish I could get the jackpot, but then I remember my chances of getting struck by lightning are better.
Phew. Feels to good to get that all off my chest. I know it's gonna get me hate, and I know there's going to be lots of hateful comments soon enough directed at me (it's GirlsAskGuys...and it doesn't take much observation to see that everyone here is at each others' throat for the most part)...but I'm at that point where it couldn't matter less.