College. Ah, yes. It was possibly the memorable experience that I've had in the past 24 years of my life. In college, you get a chance to meet so many different people from so many different backgrounds. For all you dudes out there, this, of course, includes dating girls. Here, I just wanted to share my experience of being approached by girls in college (What a shocker! Women do approach men!), and why I decided to reject them.
1. She came across as an opportunist.
This girl in one of my class used to randomly message me on Facebook whenever she was "just bored," and was "trying to kill time." She would also message me about various class assignments, about how to solve homework problems, hand in her assignment for her, etc. After a while, it appeared to me that she was only contacting me when she needed me for her own benefit. So when she finally asked me out, I was nothing short of surprised, and I had to kindly decline. When I explain to her why, she told me that she did all this because she was interested in me. That is not how you should approach guys. Nobody appreciates the feeling of being used.
2. She was laid back. Too laid back.
Tomboys. We love 'em. They share so many interests with guys. They're chill, laid back, sporty, independent, and comfortable to be around. What guy in the world wouldn't want them as a girlfriend? The problem is that tomboys can be too laid back sometimes. My tomboy friend and I were having drinks in a bar when the conversation topic turned to sex and relationship. I brought up the topic because I was genuinely interested in her, and was looking at her as a potential partner. But then she said she really doesn't get all hype about sex, and that "relationships sound stupid" as she put it. Maybe she was trying to play it cool and nonchalant as usual, but when you say something like that, you are immediately bro-zoned in my head. My interest in her plummeted that night, and I started to spend less and less time with her.
3. Woah, time out...
When you think your female friend was just a friend, but then...what? She thought otherwise? This one girl was in every one of my class, so naturally, we got to know each other quite well. We frequently ate lunch together at the dining hall, walked to classes together, sat next to each other, did homework together, etc...The problem is, I always thought of her as a friend. Just a friend. One day when she hugged me by the waist, and tried to kiss me, I had to clear up any misunderstanding. I liked her as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less.
4. Just not into you.
What can I say? I was just not into her. Being nice to girls can sometimes be misinterpreted as "I like you, but I'm a shy guy. Please approach me."
5. She had poor grades.
I had a crush on this girl from my major since freshman year, and it continued for good two years. She was blonde, she had cute bubbly eyes, and she was shy and reserved. She seemed witty, intelligent, articulate, and this definitely caught my attention. As we became friends, I got to know her better, and it always amazed me how little time she spent on doing school work. It all made sense only later when I found out about her class standing. It was such an ouch moment for me. Remember, in college, being cool is doing well in school. Not going around drinking/smoking, and having sex everywhere. And yes, whether you like it or not, there is a strong positive correlation between your grades and your work ethics/intelligence. This is especially true in university, and being “hot” will only get you through so far in the long run.
Let me know what you think.