Why do girls reject you?

[Anonymous]

So, you've been asking girls out, but none of them want anything to do with you? Believe it or not there ARE reasons she's rejecting you and some of it is your fault! (but not completely)

I see on here all the time guys asking "How do I get her to like me?" or "How do I attract a girl" and the one that always hits home "Why do girls like jerks?"

The number one reason I could ever think of rejecting a guy (without a second thought) Is that they aren't being themselves! Believe it or not, we do not want you to put on an act for us, and we know you're doing it. Some girls, whether it be ignorance or if they somehow think it's adorable, think it's okay. Most girls will see through that. Don't agree with everything they're saying. If they wanted to talk to their twin they would talk to a mirror.

Second, when you're trying to jumpstart the conversation, you didn't actually think of anything to say. Hey how are you and whats up don't exactly catch our attention and it's easy to diffuse. We aren't going to make an effort if we think it's a waste of time. You really have to do a little research and find out what she likes and ask about that. Say something that requires a real answer and once you get her talking, she won't stop. I'll do a follow up on how to shut her up (totally kidding)

Third and final, the dates. If I go to another dinner and a movie I'm going to vomit. It's totally boring and no fun for anyone and not to mention extremely awkward. Not trying to be mean but starting at someone eating and trying to talk to break awkward silence isn't my idea of a good time. Try taking her bowling or paintballing. "Girls just want to have fun" For example: The most fun I had on dates was going to a billiard hall. I got good at it later, but that way I can talk and poke fun and vice versa.

So there you have it!

[heavensgift2girls]

If a single woman rejects a guy she doesn't know it is do to a lack of sexual attraction, and not because the guy is fake. Most of the time she doesn't know him enough to know he is fake. The guy might be nervous and look fake even if he is genuine, or he might be fake and look genuine. There is no way for the woman to know. His lack of confidence could play a role, but not him being fake.

Secondly, if he is being himself, and isn't naturally the most interesting guy in the room, then he will fail your second reason. If he acts like a clown or more interesting than he really is he will fail your first reason you laid out. So you are telling guys to be themselves, but to become something other than what they are. Yes a guy that comes across more confident and funny will have better odds, but a lot of men and women are not naturally like that. So they can't be themselves while doing that.

Third, a date isn't always about having fun. It can be about trying to get to know someone, and getting use to them being around. At dinner you get a chance to talk, and at the movies you get a change to get use to having them near you, and if they hold your hand you learn to be comfortable with them touching you.

If women were the ones that were expected to approach all the time, and make all of the dating plans you would see there is more to it than you think. It isn't easy to be more interesting than the last 100 guys that hit on her. The fact is things like bowling are VERY common date ideas. There just aren't many activities that make good dates.

It takes time to know what activities the other person even likes. If I take a girl rock climbing and she is afraid of heights it isn't going to work out well. Same for horseback riding, ghost hunting, or scuba diving, paint balling. These are things to be considered after you get to know the other persons, so you can take their preferences into account. Just because you like things like paint ball doesn't mean every woman does.

[purpleballoons456]

I liked your third paragraph. It was cute. I never thought about it that way. lol.

[koko124]

"If women were the ones that were expected to approach all the time"

If women were the ones that approached all the time, then women wouldn't be women. Women would be men, and men would be women, and we'd be right back where we started.

[loveisbeautiful]

I have to say I disagree with a lot of this, expect number 1. However, I think it's just common knowledge that being fake is never the way to go and I know for me having a guy be himself helps me be myself, because I have a hard time doing that. So, this is the only one that makes sense but it's also a given.

The other two make no sense to me, why I wouldn't I want someone to say "hi, how's it going" to me? That's just normal human to human conversation and a way to lead to "by the way I like your shirt", but it would just be weird for a guy to start randomly talking to a girl without saying "hi" first or making her feel comfortable and showing that he's friendly. Just like it would be weird for me to just start talking to a guy with out saying "hi" first, it leads to having a conversation and I don't get why that's a bad thing?

As far as the dates go, I personally wouldn't want to do something where we couldn't actually talk and get to know each other. Which is the whole point of dating, getting to know someone and see if you're compatible. You can't really do that bowling or playing pool or even in the movies, so basically you'd just be hanging out. There's always something new to learn about someone, so why wouldn't you want to take that opportunity to do so?

I just think dating in general nowadays is just not like it use to be and it's actually, quite sad. By the way, you know how my mom met my dad? At disco club and she was actual there with a girl he went to high school with and you know how he got talking to my mom? By going to the table a saying "Hi, how are you? Who's your friend?". Moral of the story, ever relationship starts out with "hi, how are you". Without, you've got nothing.

[myTake Owner]

I was talking about the guys that only say how are you or whats up (which I'm sure you've experienced) and really don't have anything to say after that. Hello isn't the problem lol It's when they have the limited dialogue. I think doing something fun makes it less awkward.

[loveisbeautiful]

I disagree, but we're all entitled to our own opinions.

[Bushcrafter]

There have been two times in my life I've been successful with women and that was when I wasn't interested. I started dating late and used to get quite upset that my friends always seemed to be in relationships. When I finally started dating it had its good points and its bad points. It didn't last long and I was amazed at myself for having wanted this so badly. Suddenly I felt very happy to be single and went out for a night out where for the first time ever I didn't want to pull and next thing I know - the hottest woman in the room is over, talking to me.

A couple of years later I have a woman throwing herself at me in sexy underwear. We date for a bit but it goes nowhere and we drift apart but remain friends. My lack of concern at it ending illustrated to me that I was okay being single.

A couple of years after that I'm feeling good and confident about life and I feel like I am walking around smiling inside and next thing I know I have a choice of opportunities. They never happened because of ethical considerations - aspects that made me feel uncomfortable.

I met the woman I am engaged to be married to in a pub when I was just sick of dealing with people and their emotions. She was being very sexual towards me and I just wrote it off as drunkenness. When I made my apologies and left, I had to step back in as a couple of sleazy looking types had cottoned on to what was happening so I had to make sure she was okay.

To cut a long story short - be happy and confident being single and somehow women can just spot it, like they have a sixth sense.

[Anonymous]

I think its because women dont know what they want or feel like, have been dating a girl who was into modelling but she started a relationship shortly before we met. we kept seeing each other and she told me what an asshole that guy was and how badly he treatened her. so 1 day, she told me, René , im beginning to fall in love with you, we better stop seeing each other. Knowing what her Bf's reaction would be like when he found out. so we stopped contact for a few days till she called me, she wanted to talk. well i should have said no but eventually put myself in the friendzone. she kept whining and complaining about this moron, eventually she left him. so i guess i had a chance no i didn't, she went on a holiday and met up there with her best friend , a guy. that guy wanted a relationship from her , but she didn't, because she was afraid of losing her best friend. that dude told her, listen, or you be my gf or we won't be friends anymore. nice huh, so she agreed. thats when i made a clear dinstinction, girls who like jerks are often damaged, individuals with no will of their own. so her and i got into an argument and bye bye.

girls are the most unlogical creatures on this planet, hope 1 day ill get rich and famous and turn those same girls down that turned me down. im husband father material but you rather hang around with jobless losers who seek cxomfort in dugs and alcohol. go along, im gonna make something out of myself. STUPID TAKE!

[myTake Owner]

Not gonna lie I like jobless losers but that's not the point. Just because you follow what I said doesn't mean that they still aren't going to reject you. It's just a couple reasons why.

[Opinion Owner]

you see no logic, why would you like a jobless losers, there are plently of guys who are more awesome, 10 x times as exciting, but because these guys have an aura of mystery about them, you like them. women reject good men for some of the lamest reasons you can imagine, because they are to nice , wtf is that for an excuse, so you want a guy to beat you up everyday, so after a few years you can go to the nice guys , and cry out at their shoulders, i dont think so. not with me. women just dont know what they want, when my girl got pregnant, i could have been an asshole and left her with the problem, but i stayed, helped her the best way i could and therefor i get treated as a piece of shit, get lost. you are one of those women that take away my faith that there are still sincere girls out there.

[myTake Owner]

I will elaborate for you. Guys that other men consider "jobless losers" are the guys that aren't too tired after work to play and talk to me. They can give me more attention an affection, that is why. In my perfect world (not that I want it to happen but if I had it my way) I would be the only one working. I'm not saying it's a rational way of thinking, but it's what I know. I don't want to be taken care of I want a partner and companion, not money, I need emotional support and guys that work too much or are too invested can't give me that. As for being "too nice" I have also rejected guys. Being emotionally unstable, if I have no boundaries or limits and a guy lets me take advantage of them, I won't have any more respect for them than they do for themselves. If a guy can't stand up to me then it probably won't work out.

[Opinion Owner]

so you assume that guys that work won't have time for you? wow you are really ignorant, i work to and i always have time for sex, i have a very high sex drive, morning , evening i dont mind. you know what i like to do when im finished working, pleasuring my girl, spend the evening with her. hanging around with jobless guys, seriously, well and you are a bit hypocrit, you dont want others to take care of you, but you do want guys to stand up to you, so these jobless guys should stand up to you. an alpha male has his own place, his own income, and because he has so, he can stand up to you. its true women are unlogical... by the way dont take any of my writings personal. guys without work are losers, especially when they live with their mommies. thats weak.

[myTake Owner]

As I've stated, I'm difficult. I need emotional support, and a lot of it. Not saying that guys with jobs are dead to me, my husband works as he needs to. But in the winter since his job is seasonal, he would be home a lot and I loved it because he wouldn't be so tired. It's not about sex, I want someone to spend quality time with me watching a movie or tickle fight. Most of the guys I dated had no jobs, so when I'd get out of work I would go pick them up and hang out the rest of the time. Absolutely I want guys to stand up to me! I would never want a yes man. I want someone that sees me as an equal and I can see them the same way. I don't want someone to just be nice and not tell me how it is, what kind of life is that? It really comes down to I want them to be open and honest with me not put on a show to make me happy.

[Opinion Owner]

a dude without work is the worst type of guy you can date, they take no pride in what they do, a strong independent men has his own job, his own place, and wants to spend time with you, because he wants to, and because you like having him arround. the guys you dated are basically just losers with no life prospects, im sorry but im just real. i like to spend every minute of my time with the girl of my dreams, im sorry but there is no pride in dating losers, maybe when you are single thats ok, but not when you are a single mom. i dont want to date girls who have no life standards.

[myTake Owner]

Who says guys with no jobs don't take pride in anything? They usually had a good hobby like working an cars, art, music and things like that. It doesn't mean they're deadbeat dads. I've met more deadbeat dads that were loaded with the expensive car and expensive house because the money gave them too much power and they cheated. I would never date a rich guy because they think they can win every argument with "well I make more than you so clean the house bitch" I don't want an "alpha male" if that means them hanging money over my head.

[killerboots]

Great argument. You both have some strong points but I have to agree with anonymous here.

[AllWomenLie]

Agreed 100% Anonymous. Girls like her deserve the jerks. I for one don't feel sorry for those girls who complain why is my BF a jerk? Well sweet hart you've made your bed, now lie in it in.

[myTake Owner]

HA! That's hysterical. I made my bed and lie next to my husband who is a wonderful and beautiful human being and wouldn't trade him for the world. Sorry, to tell you, the "jerks" aren't the ones who you think they are. All the self proclaimed "good guys" are actually the "jerks" Why? Because they put on a show and then a month later, the women find out that their "good guy" actually just put on a show for a while and is actually a "jerk"

[Opinion Owner]

what a shallow commenct, its lacking any kind of dept. I've been nice and kind to my girl from the very begining, always remained nice to her, she treated me like crap. it takes more strenght to remain calm and patient then be a jerk. A jerk is someone who would leave you before you even found he was one, i think we have completely different views about what a jerk is. When i ended up having sex with the girl i was in love with, and we found out she was pregnant, i could have been a jerk and walked away, but i didn't. i stayed and showed her i wanted to have that child with her, but in your opinion im a jerk right because i told her i wanted that child with her, female logic, there is no logic...

[myTake Owner]

I didn't say you're a jerk for doing the right thing and I didn't say you are desirable for leaving. Not only that, that has nothing to do with being rejected because you obviously were already in a relationship. So even bringing that up is an invalid argument. I'm sorry that happened to you but that has nothing to do with my take and shouldn't effect how you think of women because you got one bad seed that really hurt you. Did you ever put yourself in her situation? There has to be a reason she did what she did we don't just wake up like that. If you want to talk about it I'll listen and tell you what I think but putting words in my mouth will not fly. I'm not some dumb woman or someone without logic or compassion so keep that in mind before you attack me with your twisted way of thinking. I told you how it was, I'm not apologizing for telling you what I truly think.

[Opinion Owner]

then why did she do the things she did and said, she knew she was destroying me from the inside. im not responsible for the problems in her life, the pregnancy should have been a moment of joy, she forced me to hide it from almost everybody. so the day she miscarried, and she had to go to the hospital, her autn asked me what i did to her niece... she knew nothing because i kept my mouth shut because she wanted me to.

I still love this girl to death but she is an abusive, selfish girl who has a very black and white way of thinking. if she wants me back, and maybe one day she will, not without her going to therapy, and her stop seeing these low lifes, that ruin her life. i told her when i disagreed with her, smoking is bad, etc.. etc.. and i wasn't acting like her father, but when ever i disagreed with her actions, she would call me an asshole , she was scared of me, i never touched her or made and verbal treats, tell me then, what logic is there behind a women acting like that

[myTake Owner]

To me that sounds like she felt that you were controlling her in some way and trying to change her into something she'll never be or never wants to be. Which isn't your fault and you can't help that. It also sounds like you felt differently about the situation than she did and in a relationship it's important to talk about EVERYTHING good and bad and team up and it sounds like you guys just weren't willing to get on the same page.

[Opinion Owner]

i tried, i really tried to get her to open up about me, but she is someone with 2 faces, and i know exactly what her life will be like. She is very out of touch with herself, one moment she tells me she often cries, and the next she denies it. or she cries about the miscarriage , and next week tells me it doesn't bother her, and 2 weeks later blames it on me. im sorry but she clearly isn't willing to give it a place like i did, i cried and i did something about it. i would rather bond with her, but she left me for a 7 year younger person, 5 years younger than her, im sorry but i dont have time for kiddie games, im 27, she is 25, better act that way. but i dont fit in her line of basic morons she dates, way younger persons, criminals, scumm etc... im from a good family, im a decent person and i feel better then the losers she dates.

[myTake Owner]

Well just a hint, our opinions change with our moods. I'll say I have cereal one minutes and say I love it the next, depending on my mood. If she didn't want to give it a chance that's her own problem, doesn't mean she's irrational, or that you are irrational, it just didn't work and you guys couldn't connect. Things like that happen all the time.

[Opinion Owner]

if the girl in question is normal yes, but she isn't, i have a hindge feeling something happened to her when she was young, she comes from a broken family and she shows serious signs of a personality disorder. i love this girl to death, and i miss spending time with her, being able to kiss her, and tell her that i miss her but im now 2 weeks no contact. she shows conflicting signs, and im just going to let it rest for 3 to 4 weeks before i try to connect to her. maybe by letter, send her a book or maybe when her daughter has her birthday. i love her to death but i should stay in controll and not her, im not perfect but i can still think logical, she is really emotional. or she insults me or shuts down. when she was pregnant i wanted her to make a decision, yes or no, because i had to find another job, rent a cheaper appartment, save money etc... but she went back and forth, i offered her the help of my parents with our child,

[Opinion Owner]

she said no, i will stay together with my daughter and our child and you won't get to see our child. i knew she wanted it but in her opinion i pressured her, which i didn't... i felt a joy i couldnt show, i told her its your decission, no matter what i still like you but let us make that decission together. you know i want our child, and ill promise you ill do my very best to provide you , our child and your daughter a lovely enviroment. it was just impossible, she kept smoking, she kept drinking caffeine and created so much stress by not being open about the pregnancy, that she miscarried maybe due to those circumstances but i never blamed her, but she did blame it on me. ever since things just went downhill very fast. she canceled the counceling with a psychotherapist herself, she said she was crazy and not normall, i told her i dont care, i like you the person i know, we all have problems. nothing... i miss her so much, but sometimes we have to let someone go before they come back

[myTake Owner]

Well with her being pregnant, taking her seriously is a little difficult. That doesn't sound like she has a personality disorder, that sounds like hormones getting her into trouble. I get pretty cooky when my hormones are high. Her miscarriage more than likely had nothing to do with anything SHE did (like smoking or coffee) that is usually because her body just can't hold it or there was something wrong with the fetus.

[Opinion Owner]

but why blame it on me than and say things like, you won't get to see our child when i offer her the help of my parents , raising our child. i told her she could see our child and hold him or her as often as she wants. why does she remain so angry with me, she went on her holiday, all was good but than she got angry about something really minor. so i challenged her habbits, i asked her, so tell me, your ex is in jail for drugs related charges, you smoke weed, who is more important to you, your daughter or that joint, and she took it wrong, she said i told she was a bad mother but i never did.

if you love someone you speak about your concerns, im not perfect but she think she is. i do think she has a personality disorder. she does this push and pull game, sounds like borderline and does things i can't explain. why does she leave me like that, i was still in love with her, she started replacing me the moment she miscarried, i dont deserve that, i would die for her if i had to

[myTake Owner]

She could be projecting her insecurities and fears onto you actually (not just because she's a woman, but people do that to cope) Maybe she wasn't ready to be a mother and maybe she thinks the miscarriage was her own fault and that's why she's in such a bad mood and she has no one else to attack, you were the closest person to her. There are so many things that could have probably been happening there that would make perfect sense. Honestly, I'm usually attracted to guys that end up behind bars but that's not just my nature, that's what I know. Growing up my dad was in an out of rehab and jail so sub-consciously that's what I look for in men so maybe that applies to her? You really have to put yourself in her shoes and think about what you would do if you were her, because it sounds like you put a lot of pressure on her (def not bad voicing concerns, but there is a difference between nagging and telling them) and you might have been justified but she might not have felt that way.

[Opinion Owner]

well than there is something wrong with you 2, you should stay far away from people like that. didn't you miss your dad, why would you want to go through that again and have your child experience the same thing. listen, there are men like me, who dont have a criminal record, and stay in line but im no push over, if someone treatens me or the people that i care about, and i see no other way out, i will resort to extreme violence. your text does make some sense, but in the end there is no reason for her to handle it like that. if you get pregnant you need to have a good conversation. because well, do i have to find a better job, or a 2nd job, rent a cheaper appartment, how do we do it, because if we aren't together, i do want to be a part of our childs life. you see, a normal healthy girl would want a conversation like that, i was the triving force behind it this time. yes i know hormones, but hormones dont influence decission making. i did my homework, i swallowed in my pride

[myTake Owner]

Of course I missed him, but I'm better off without him than with him for damn sure because he could never be what I need him to be. For you guys to have that "conversation" you have to argue and then get on the same page about things, if she didn't want to do that it's her problem. Legally, you would almost have to be in the childs life, I've seen kids have a really healthy life with their parents separate. For the childs best interest, you guys have to figure out what you're going to do quickly, if they grow up with you together and then you separate suddenly, it's going to mess them up a bit but if they grow up with you two separate, it makes things a lot easier and you don't have to explain much when they're older, because that's all they know. And just because you're "the man of her dreams" doesn't mean that her needs are met per say. For me, financial stability is the least I need. I need someone to be there and comfort and love me (def hard to find) and since I didn't have a real

[myTake Owner]

Father figure, I need that in whoever I'm with, and if my needs aren't met, things get ugly. My husband has to be a father to me just like I have to be a mother to him because we're both missing that and the dynamic of the relationship is different than from what other people are experiencing, but our needs are both met. I spent a lot of time thinking about why I hated my exes so much and realized that it was because they couldn't meet my needs.

[myTake Owner]

What is ur username so I can just message you I think this will be a long convo

[Opinion Owner]

ReneDS is my username

[Robertinho]

... well said, i second that.

[Tdieseler]

Takes like this, though correct to some point, can't be totally correct due to the enormous difference, starting with backgrounds, experiences and up to the persons personality in itself. I dabble back and forth with each of the three reasons you have listed and it works out great for me. for the number one reason, sometimes i use my "representative" for an approach, but mostly, i just start a honest friendly chat and it works hella magic and escalates. depends on how i perceive the girl. number two, girls do that more than guys and its very frickin annoying. and eventually, the conversation bottles down to her replying with one or two words, usually "lol" (cuz im funny like that), i usually point that annoyance out quickly. Knowing how to shut a girl up though, no help needed in that department hehe. I've got that down pat from nicely doing it to abruptly doing it.
number three, Im guilty of that one (creature of habit) and I've been working on more creative ideas, Someone with an interest in me wants to go to a gun range after i suggested going by myself, so yea, im getting there. Good take though.

[Hariss]

Dating doesn't necessarily means eating together, it's a piece of fun time to spend with and make it a memorable moment, this helps to get connected and know a person more because fun make them come out properly, so it's always a good idea to ask a girl or maybe just find what she actually likes to do or have fun, not every girl is same they all have different ideas about dating or u may say the fun time, u don't have to follow the people and do dating in traditional way, it's always a good idea to include some fun in the meetings, once the bonding is strong then people get addicted to each other with strong bonding, then whatever u do together will be a fun, i remember my days when bad girls only wanted to date me, i don't care though who the girl is and her past but my problem is that they kind of use guys and never last in a relationship i am not a guy who is comfortable to keep changing partners i don't wanna endup with a broken heart, i just being myself all the time i don't pretend according to the needs of a girl cuz i am what i am and it's for real, so i can't fake what i am not, but some girls don't like it, they want a guy who fulfils what they demand and bow down to them just for the sake of they accept him but that's not good idea such girls will be temporary, a girl who really likes a guy will love him in his original form. I think guys pretend or fake because some girls want to see it they can't accept things other than their idea, i am tired of looking one now, i don't know why it has to be guys always who asks girls to be with them i wonder if girls doesn't feel to do so, whoever like first must go and approach, i will only wait now if a girl finds me to be with her and come to me i will be very happy but i am not going to look anymore or ask any girl.

[Splithead]

Well here's what I have to say. If you're a nice guy who has been told all your life not to be a sore winner or loser, not to tell women what to do, not to be confusing but to be honest about your emotions, not to tell women what to do (which we can not easily distinguish from simply taking the lead in the positive way)... and you buy into it, where does that leave you. Say that all this emotional vulnerability happens to actually make you feel... well vulnerable? What if you then want to, after doing such a hard thing as letting your guard down, hear from someone that that's all alright... as you were told it would be. I don't think you can give preemptive sensitivity training to men assuming that we all shift naturally toward dominant and asshole and that we will be pulled back from that side. I think we take whatever we're taught and run with it full speed. You can start out thinking your the shit and have full confidence or you can start out thinking everyone's opinion is equal and subsequently devalue your own leading to a need to do whats right, as judged by the largest ammount of people aka low self confidence. What women actually want are one of two guys

1) The Ugly duckling, who started off a wimp or loser and made himself confident.

2) The reformed asshole, who started off an asshole but had a change of heart.

These are the guys who have the most success but its kind of sad because both ways... it's a really really stressful transition that a lot of guys can't make fully and leaves them with tons of issues. I don't think women really like guys any one way. You like us both, which impossible for us to start out as. You kind of demand that we go crazy at one point in our lives if we want to be successful with women.

[username1111]

I'm the ugly duckling lol. i was raised to respect people and be nice to everyone. and girls always rejects me cause I was nice and they always told me not to change , I felt like I was their toy but I never turned bad cause I know I'm gonna find a girl that will actually like me for being nice.

[sp33d]

I agree with the part where you talk about acts and fakes. That goes double for you, too, don't forget that.

Though, what makes you think you are worth the effort "by default", so to speak? Spending 2 hours on "fixing yourself" up and talking a lot of smack with your girl friend does not put the ball in my court, as a matter of fact, there actually is no court contrary to how you seemed to have been raised.

Also this "Don't agree with everything they're saying" - anybody would disagree if they don't agree, don't you think? Are you teaching high school kids? What the hell?

"We aren't going to make an effort if we think it's a waste of time." Tell me about any effort you had made up to this point, would you please be so kind?

The dinner and cinema - you are exaggerating, too much, or you haven't learned how to eat. I'm not exactly sure which one it is. Other than that, I agree as far as keeping a certain originality to the date, though you make it sound like every one of your dates is the same except the time when you got to play some pool. Though, I do agree with the cinema being too cheesy, but perhaps there's a good movie on the both of you would like to see.

The style of your post insists that it's the guy's job to figure out what the hell to do and you are just like a mannequin: completely devoid of any emotion and ideas, just going with it... oh right, you will crack a smile when you feel like any effort has been made.

I am, of course, exaggerating my opinion way out of proportion, but that's the whole point. A counter to yours.

[myTake Owner]

I think you have a bit of a distorted image of me, since we've never met lol I'm more of the grungy girl I guess, I'm not rich, so I just have a different way of thinking, I stated what I know to be true. You would be surprised how many people will agree with you just to be liked, the point I was making. I don't have anyone to talk smack with, so that's kind of random. And no, I didn't learn how to eat, I eat like a baby elephant (no I'm not fat) and eating involves burping, which I do without shame. It's not the guys "job" at all, I just don't want guys to think that if they do everything they're "supposed" to do that it will hold any sway of how a girl feels about them (obviously vice versa) By effort I mean, made clear that you're not just trying to get in her pants, hence the brick wall in the beginning, because the guys that just want sex tire easily with a little resistance.

[sp33d]

I did say I was exaggerating. Yes, I know people would agree with you to be liked, but what was it about acts and fakes you were talking about, again?
Your fear is understandable, it just seems hilarious to me, though, that you would paint every guy with the same brush before you meet them and then decide whether you should change the colours. I would paint you completely in black and white - is that the kind of attitude that appeals to you? With your initial post, those are the only two colours you seem to sense with your two beautiful eyes.

I, in all likelihood, have no actual image of you - the post you made came off the screen as bossy and arrogant to me, I just love moments like these when I could potentially make fun of a Cosmo girl :D

[myTake Owner]

You came off arrogant too lol Uh def no cosmo girl, I wouldn't waste my money, more like Summit Racing catalogs. I don't think it's black and white but depending on the girl, it's more difficult. I'm one of those difficult cases so I figured I'd write about it, though not a lot of guys liked what I said. For me, as soon as I know I'm getting hit on, that's the end of it. It sounds messed up but it weeds them out pretty quickly. I would rather talk as friends or a little bit and think on it first, and then I'm not so on my toes about it. Fake guys: meaning they tell you what you want to hear.

[sp33d]

An eye for an eye - arrogance met with arrogance :)

[sp33d]

I suppose my biggest conflict with your post, now that I think about it, is how methodically you describe it. It gives it a static feel and that's why I said black and white.

[myTake Owner]

Hey I have no problem being given my own medicine lol A lot of people felt that way I guess

[JoshyJames]

I realised that a girl is likely to fall for me if I stick to the simple plain truth other than trying to sugar coat something about myself even if it's true. So I agree with 1 and 3 and 2 Is plausible the only problem is that guys like myself (I am not too sure if most guys do also) do not know how to jumpstart a conversation with a girl you just met at a bus stop or in a store so that could be a bit difficult but I guess it's a good starting point if you have noticed a girl on your class for the past one month you can walk up to her and compliment the way she answers question etc.

[genuinlysensitive]

Personally if a woman wants to go to another smoke filled pool hall or bar, I am going to vomit. You do have some good points, but you also assume, wrongly, that women can tell if someone is being themselves 100% of the time just by how they act and their conversation skills. This is not true in fact if you talk to pick up artists they brag about how bullshiting (basically being a good conversationalist) will get them virtually any woman they want! Meanwhile the shyer guys with jobs, hobbies, who spend time working on something other than their bullshiting skills but are actually themselves (even though they don't act like it) are almost always rejected!

One more thing I would like to point out since SO many women use the method of conversation skills as the ONLY means of determining the worthiness of a mate, and so many still end up with men who turn out to be jerks, maybe you should all come down off your pedestal and admit that your evaluation process is GREATLY flawed!

[ladymcbeth]

I judge a man based on actions, how he spends his time and how he treats the women in his family. Not on conversation skills. Don't put all women in the same boat.

[genuinlysensitive]

I know not all women judge men based only on conversation skills, just that those women who do have a process that doesn't accurately judge the quality of the man, only his conversation skills.

[AzzaBlue84]

So basically its all on us (men). We are some how meant to know what a particular woman wants, even though we may not know them from a bar of soap. There are some women out there who do appreciate the simple classic date, see a movie and/or have dinner. Do you have any idea how hard it is for most guys to work up the nerve to go and simply talk to a woman, even for the really confidents guys (like me) we also find it a bit nerve wracking. I think that women that the sweet end of the deal when it come to dating, because, you do very little of the work and get to enjoy all of the attention. If most of what we are doing is wrong, then maybe women should start to play a more active role in dating.

[myTake Owner]

See here's the thing. Men feel the NEED to approach women and be very forward and put women on this pedestal. Why? I was talking to this girl who was FLIRTING with me and I liked the way she approached me, WHY? Because she took her time to talk to me instead of, Hi lets go on a date. I'm sure there are plenty of girls that like a classic date, but for difficult girls like myself, which is why I wrote this in the first place, it sounds like a hollow load of crap. Not only that, it puts so much pressure on you guys and makes you so nervous that it's awkward for both male and female. I tell everyone not to let them know your hitting on them. Talk to them as I you are just talking to a friend. The reason for this is when you hit on a girl, or take them out to dinner, there's an obligation to do something in return, mainly sex, which completely throws anything sweet you did out the window.

[beatblip]

>I think that women that the sweet end of the deal when it come to dating, because, you do very little of the work and get to enjoy all of the attention
Trust me, I think both sexes have it bad. I talked to a lady at an airport while our flight was cancelled and she started pouring her heart out at me. She talked about this one guy at an airport restaurant who was super excited to give her his cell number because she thought she wanted to be in a relationship with him. And then there was this Japanese businessman who basically asked her for sex. At the other end of the spectrum you have girls who seldom get asked out (usually the super pretty ones or the really ugly ones- sorry don't take that offensively.) and wonder what's wrong with them. Guys can just pick and choose a girl, if they don't want to date you can move on to the next.

>Men feel the NEED to approach women and be very forward and put women on this pedestal. Why?
Because girls seldom ask guys out.

[AzzaBlue84]

Exactly, men do feel the need to ask girls out, because if we don't do it, no one will be partnering up. Women seldom ask guys out simply because they are chicken shit, no offence intended. I agree, that when you talk to a girl, talk to them like a friend as there will be less pressure on both ends, but you have to agree, that a lot of the pressure (if not all of it) is on us guys, especially when approaching someone who is a stranger. It is literally up to us, to pique their interest, and maintain it, without them getting bored and knowing that we are actually hitting on them. To make it easier on us, women should start to taking the initiative, but this will never happen, because like I said before , women are scared.

[myTake Owner]

I already said guys have lots of pressure. Women do hit on guys, it's just not the way guys hit on girls, which I think is why guys don't realize it lol The girl that was flirting with me didn't make it obvious that she was flirting with me until we were having a FULL ON conversation. For me, I want time to think whether to go with it or not. It's uncomfortable for women too, we will be going about our business and then BAM someone pops up and wants to "get to know you" my first reaction is no, not because I don't want to, I might want to, but that's the first thing that comes to mind about going on a date with someone I don't even know. I don't give I to pressure ever. I can't even go to a freakin gas station without someone with me, or I'll get at least one comment. I've hit on guys many times, only got rejected a handful, because I make a plan before I actually approach. And every thing I say has nothing to do with the way they look, which is a mistake guys make to women

[weegin]

I don't know what's up with all the hate in the comments. While it probably could have been specified that this was the Take owner's personal opinion and that she couldn't exactly speak for all other girls, I think that it should be obvious enough to be inferred. Apparently some people are too stupid to infer the obvious, though.

Anyways, nice Take! Initially I thought you were totally wrong about the movie and dinner, but then I thought about it and realized I wouldn't really have any fun on that, so why would a girl? I think it's very good advice, and thank you for it!

[myTake Owner]

Yay not a hate comment! Some guys had good point, obviously I based this off of my own experience (all I can do right?) and some girls I work with that are in successful relationships. I'm glad you can put yourself in their shoes though it really does go a long way.

[Bluemax]

Interesting read. I agree with some things and disagree with others. If I may offer some advice, I would have tried to avoid writing this, "Believe it or not there ARE reasons she's rejecting you and some of it is your fault!" When you use the word "fault," it sounds accusatory and it's likely to push someone away and make them defensive. Did you consider, "Believe it or not, there ARE reasons she's rejecting you and some of them are within your power to change?"

I partially agree with you about "dinner and a movie." I agree with you about the movie part, as it's only an opportunity to sit for two hours and not have to talk with each other, but I disagree with you about dinner. I think eating together is a great opportunity to get to know someone. I'm not suggesting you ONLY have dinner, but I think it's still something that I enjoy with my dates.

[myTake Owner]

Thank you for your input. I agree I come off a little rash, but it's to get a point across. I feel like dinner is boring, I feel like doing something to "get to know each other" becomes a chore, so doing something fun together is a bit easier than trying to make a conversation, which is why I said what I said.

[Bluemax]

Well, using the word "fault" just isn't accurate in many cases. I seldom thought when I rejected a girl "It's HER fault I'm rejecting her." Nor did I ever think when someone rejected me, "Wow. It's MY fault she's rejecting me." There is no fault.

By the way, take owner, did you ever think when a guy rejected you, "Wow. That was totally MY fault?" Or did you just think, "Huh, he's just not into me?"

[myTake Owner]

Yes I did actually. I'd say something that is way too much tmi and it would freak them out and I'm like... yeah I shouldn't have said that. It was my fault. It's not like I beat myself up over it or anything I'm just like wow I bombed.

[rocelot]

Firstly how many times do you think guys get rejected. You learn early on not to take it personally. Secondly if putting on act makes getting rejected easier, or less often, men will do it. Thirdly I love dinner dates, but I love food so tapes or appetizers are great for that (plus a liberating coat of alcohol. Finally just because this isn't what you like doesn't mean every girl doesn't like it.

Also last thought; don't tell people how to think and act, you're not big brother nor would I listen to one if there was one.

[myTake Owner]

Um I obviously can't tell anyone what to do. It was a post that from my experience I wrote why I and some other girls, have rejected guys. Never said every girl hates dinner dates, but it doesn't stand out or speak about you as a person and can be very difficult to navigate from both sides of the table.

[rocelot]

So in other word what you are saying is; meeeee! Am I losing anything in this?

[myTake Owner]

K don't know whats up your butt. All I can say is if you don't like what I said then don't read it.

[rocelot]

How could I dislike something you wrote if I didn't read it? But at least you can admit you should just be ignored.

[noneoftheabove]

i think the best way to win a girl over is just to make them laugh. No obvious intentions as someone had already said women seem to shine to that. I think women appreciate good honest conversation. None of this pick up line bullshit that rarely works for most us if weve tried it...

i think we have it all wrong if we think girls want or need to be serious all the time. And i agree completely with number 1 once you start acting like something you're not thats your chance gone.

No one wants to date anyone who acts fake

[myTake Owner]

-claps- everyone else said I was a bitch, I like you! lol

[AzzaBlue84]

I never said that you were a bitch : )

[myTake Owner]

I'm so happy! Understanding is the greatest thing ever lol

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

This is a load of crap. I've still never had a girlfriend and I've been rejected every time.

1. I'm always myself. Girls actually do want guy to put on some bogus act, whether you say they do or not.

2. Depending on the situation, I think of unique things to say at times.

3. We can go anywhere, I don't care.

The real reason girls don't want guys (in my age group at least) is because girls only want money.

[Bluemax]

"The real reason girls don't want guys (in my age group at least) is because girls only want money."
Assuming that's true, then many men should rejoice. Income is something well within our ability to change.

However, I'm not sure I can agree with you. I managed to get married to a great lady on a teacher's salary.

[myTake Owner]

Some girls want money, and they're wackos. Most of the women I know want lots of attention and affection. Girls really don't even need money because girls work too. So there is no argument.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

Bluemax Income CAN be changed... but it's very difficult too. I'm in school to be a teacher and even if I earned my doctorate degree, that would still keep me in the "middle-class" range.

[AllWomenLie]

I agree 100% rwfrg4g4gg

[Yc2K15]

Haha, the whole time I was reading this I was just picturing some guys I know that use wak pick up lines and act all smooth when introducing themselves.
The date thing is hard, because a lot of girls I have taken on dates are scared of everything!
But the best dates I had which all ended very well were doing things like Go-karting, Paintball (like you said), walked up a mountain, snorkelling etc.
The only times I would ask a girl to drink is if I know that she is always keen for it. otherwise it seems like I'm asking to get her drunk haha.
Anyway I like this article. It should help a few guys realise they look like total douche bags with some of their acting.

[BiffWebster]

One reason girls reject a guys is because they can. You see when women can get men, they get pickier. And when that happens they are less likely to allow a guy to talk to them.
Sometimes it also happens when they don't have a boyfriend. Once they do though they will take a flirt from a guy, you know why not? right. -_- put seriously their a woman's standards will be higher for that reason.

[elektrik_nathan]

I just think some girls reject me because they just do not want to be with me for some reason known to them. I am comfortable with being myself, always will be. However, some people may only see me as a good friend or may not be wanting to enter into a relationship with me at this stage in their life: that is what I see.

[OHGEE]

They could be playing games. Some girls say they actually like dinner dates. There really is no telling. As far as starting a convo goes, if she is boring then the convo is going to be boring, so how is she going to expect you to somehow make it interesting all by yourself?

[OHGEE]

They wind up rejecting you because they suck or they're boring.

[myTake Owner]

Not saying some girls don't like dinner dates, but in my opinion it's not a good first date. Once you're already dating it's perfectly fine and I condone it actually, but for a first date or a "get to know each other" date, I would steer clear. I didn't say make something interesting, all you have to do is ask her a single good question and god knows girls have motor mouths.

[OHGEE]

You also forgot to add that she will because she is in a relationship already. I find that is the number one reason I get rejected. It's usually not a big deal.

[myTake Owner]

I figured that was a given lol

[AllWomenLie]

Enough with this be yourself bull shit. I'm sick of hearing it. Be yourself is something girls like you say to ugly guys, because they have no shot with anyone. I'm myself all the fucking time and I still get shot down. All you want is the jerks but will never admit it. And of course the guy as to be perfect lets not forget that.

[myTake Owner]

What a wonderful username! Love it! Yes, we like jerks because they are being themselves. People aren't perfect, we know this, "jerks" are up front about it. Perfect? No. Something we can deal with? Sure.

[AllWomenLie]

I'm sick of the bull shit women like you say. I've learned to block it out.

[AllWomenLie]

So your admitting you like jerks? No surprise there. What pisses me off is how women are always sayin girls don't like jerks? But yet at the same time you say jerks are themselves? So basically all us guys should become jerks.

[myTake Owner]

Yes, because the "jerks" aren't putting on some amazing act where they're polite and nice all the time. "Good guys" think that if they put on this amazing show for a month, that we'll like them. And then after that month is up the real them comes out and they become "Jerks". So in reality, the self proclaimed "good guys" are the jerks. And the "Jerks" are the guys that have a fight with their girlfriend and are considered "Jerks" because their girlfriend decided to tell you their problem (because women talk about everything). Sorry to tell you, every relationship has problems, doesn't mean they're "jerks".

[AllWomenLie]

You have to the dumbest women I've come across.

[myTake Owner]

Or you are the dumbest man with awful grammar

[AllWomenLie]

Explain to me what I wrote was/is bad grammar? You can't. To sit there and say ''Good guys'' are faking an act is like telling a ugly guy he has a chance with someone not all ''good guys'' are fake. The irony is all women say they want a nice guy but you say jerks aren't fake and that's why women prefer them? So my conclusion is my username was right. I laugh at women who get dumped, slapped etc because they deserve it. Another thing women are just too stupid to realize the jerks are using them and of course the girl sees it as love and affection.

[myTake Owner]

Yes you did have bad grammar. You said "You have to dumbest woman I've come across" instead of you have to BE.

If you had a brain you'd realize that I was saying that YOU had it backwards. Yes, we want a nice guy. We don't want a guy acting nice because everyone gets angry at some point or gets upset. Guys that don't show/tell us how they really feel are the "jerks" Do you think the "Jerks" actually tell us they're using us? No. Why? Because they're "good guys" remember?

[AllWomenLie]

So I missed the BE lol. No I don't have a brain I only dress myself, wash myself, cook when I get hungry, wipe my ass when I shit but according to you I don't have a brain. And you sound like a hypocrite by saying women want nice guys but say Yes, we want a nice guy. We don't want a guy acting nice because everyone gets angry at some point or gets upset. So your logic is if the guy is nice he must be faking? Even though you women want nice guys? So how can a guy be nice when your saying their faking it? Then you say Do you think the "Jerks" actually tell us they're using us? No. Why? Because they're "good guys" remember? So if the guys a jerk he's the hero and the good guys the villain?

[myTake Owner]

Omg I don't know why I bother because you only believe what you want and you want to believe there's only black and white and not see the gray area in between (just for you that's a metaphor) The problem is, everyone says they're nice guys. And guys that are jerks for what? The only cases I can see a guy being called a jerk is cheating and abuse. Breaking up with someone doesn't make them a jerk. Getting into a fight over something stupid doesn't make them a jerk. If a guy is a player and the girl knows it it's their own damn fault then, but other than that I don't know what to tell you except that some guys are assholes like some girls are bitches, it just happens sometimes.

[AllWomenLie]

OMG you still don't understand my point.

[Digitalreaper]

Why are you guys trynna force your opinions on to the other😓Just be yourself is that hard I mean like tf!

[AllWomenLie]

Well when I'm myself I get ignored so nothing changes.

[myTake Owner]

What a negative nancy

[AllWomenLie]

I'm negative for being truthful? Something women can't admit.

[Izzex3]

I agree with 1.. I agreed with 2 up until the researching me part.
& I don't agree with 3.
I'll also reject a guy if I'm not attracted to him.
If it seems like they're"trying too hard" or trying to "charm" me.
If we don't "click"
If I simply don't feel that way about them.
If I get the vibe I'm not special.
If they they approach me a certain way
If I'm not looking for anything.
If I feel like they want a serious relationship
Anndd... That's all I can think of for now.

[PhiOmega]

Yea, i can't go around researching girls, and i agree, i feel that 3 only doesn't work even u don't click, or if one of u funny really talk

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

So basically, you're extremely picky AND shallow. Nice! I bet you only date guys with a lot of money too, right?

[Michael_Rc46]

@rwfrg4g4gg how is that shallow?

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

@Michael_Rc46 She said she would reject a guy she's not attracted to (dead giveaway here.) I also think it's shallow when girls expect certain "vibes" from a guy or when they expect a "certain approach."

[Izzex3]

@rwfrg4g4gg Call me whatever you want, lol.
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be attracted to someone. That's why your asking the girl, right? Because your attracted to her.
I'm picky because I want to be able to like someone? Okay, lol. Maybe anyone would do for you, but I'm not so desperate to want a relationship with someone I don't really like.
& No. I've never dated a guy that had a lot of money. All of us college students are poor and I always pay for my own shit.
Also I don't "expect" anyone to approach me a certain way.
You sound extremely insecure. You should work on that.

[CincinnatiRedsfan]

Put an emphasis on attraction is shallow to me. I don't see how my response indicates I'm insecure. Actually, I'm the exact opposite: I'm very proud of myself.

And you can say college students are "poor" but that's not true at all. My college specifically has rich students everywhere and their parents pay for most of their things. MANY girls in college are shallow about money.

I'll admit: I'm shallow. But I don't know why so many people are afraid to admit it.

[Izzex3]

When I said all of us I was talking about the students at my colleges.
And cool. If your shallow then why even bring it up and call other people it as if it's an insult?
Who cares if some people are too afraid to admit it.

[Izzex3]

@rwfrg4g4gg

[trieze]

Sounds shallow and picky to me.
I just get repulsed by girls like that.
I mean, who really wants a relationship with someone as narcissistic and constantly looking for faults in others?
Someone that self-centered, so blind they just can't take a step back and notice how beautiful everything around them is.

[Izzex3]

@trieze I can be as "picky" as I want, I apologize that not just anyone will do for me and that getting in a relationship isn't one of my priorities. I do not look for faults in others, nor am I narcissistic.
It's funny how much you think you know about me from some of the reasons I listed just for rejecting guys, lol.
Think whatever you want though (:

[myTake Owner]

For the record, we all are guilty of being "shallow" because being "attractive" is a sign of having good genes. That's instinct we no one can help that. I don't think it's wrong to want someone you think is attractive, that being said, I don't think it's okay to not care about personality. In my eyes someone can be physically attractive but be down right ugly on the inside and I would consider them unattractive. But if you aren't that great looking you can still counter your physical appearance with your personality if given a good chance.

And I'm picky too, there is nothing wrong with protecting yourself. If we gave every guy a chance we'd be the slut of the town.