4 Things A Girl Said or Did That Ruined Her Chances for A Second Date With Me

[burlen]

These are some reasons I have ghosted some of my dates from Jan. 2016 - July 2016 because of what they did or said.

1. Trying too hard to raise her social value

She devoted much time talking about her ex boyfriends, ex fiancé, and the guys hitting on her as well as talking about her father's wealth and social standing, as if to signal to me: "be my boyfriend because I am a high value girl". I allowed her to ruin her chance for a second date as it seems talking about her exes and the number of times per week she gets hit by guys was her favourite topic.

2. Wanting to know the reasons for breaking up with my exes

She wanted to know the number of girlfriends I have had in the last three years, the reasons for the breakups, and the last time I had sex. I was startled by her question. I exclaimed silently: really? It is my date etiquette that discussion about exes is a no-go-zone. She further ruined her chance for a second date when she criticized me for dating a Muslim girl.

3. Talking about religion

Talking about religion in a date is a topic I always avoid because I don't want to say something that could offend. This date, for no reason, switched the conversation to religion, and started criticizing Islam and Catholicism, and favoring her Pentecostal faith as the best. I smirked as she continued her shallow and narcissistic vitriol of religious faiths. I felt the urge to identify weaknesses in her arguments; I then decided against it because it was pointless to engage in a debate with a woman whose wit can be outclassed by a college kid.

4. I'm a party girl

At least I like your honesty but to tell me in a date at a pub that you only work two days a week because you reserve five days for partying and shopping is a deal breaker. It raises unnecessary questions about your priorities, and intention of dating me. If you were 26 year old or below, I'd have overlooked your honesty, but at age 36 you ought to be working full-time, and not looking for a guy to fuel your lavish lifestyle.

What are yours? It could be something he or she said or did, including mannerism that ruined their chance for a second date.

[arineunha]

I think i did the first thing unintentionally because it made me excited that someone asked me out for the first time. also it fueled my ego when guys gave me compliments on my looks.

I realize i was wrong to do that. Never will i do that again

[burlen]

Thanks for your honesty. 😉

[Boomboomboom78]

Your take is well said 👏

[burlen]

Thanks. 😊

[Boomboomboom78]

Welcome ✌

[Stacyzee]

I'm not 36 but I love to party every now and then. I think even when someone is in their late twenties if they commit themselves to partying all of the time it reeks immaturity. I'd only find this acceptable from someone 18-22.
Late 20s should be more career orientated.
But yeah , all of your reasons are understandable for not wanting to go on another date.
Some people demand to know too much too soon and should just relax and enjoy themselves.

[Anonymous]

The thing about the exes... I can understand wanting to know, because you can see red flags sometimes like when a guy says shit like "all my exes were crazy" and stuff like that, but maybe first date is a bit quick to ask personal questions like that. I do agree with all of this though.

[LifeChoices]

Do you really want a dude to be honest and tell you his flaws on a date? Da fk you should understand them on your own otherwise your womenly brain will just imagine those flaws on him when your needing a reason to blame him

[Opinion Owner]

@LifeChoices not that I need him to tell me, you can kinda tell usually anyway if you don't ignore things, but I'm saying knowing about exes is still good and I can understand wanting to know to see if there are red flags like him saying all exes are crazy, or those guys with kids they never see.

[LifeChoices]

I thought woman love kids, shows commitment

[Opinion Owner]

@LifeChoices a lot of women don't want a man who already has kids. And committing to his kids doesn't mean he'll commit to her, so they shouldn't think it does. Some just don't want other womens kids in their lives like that.
But yea it's the guys with kids that they never see that are a bigger red flag. If he can't do anything for his kids, you know 100% he can't do anything for you as his girl. His kids should always be a priority in his life, and if his own flesh and blood isn't a priority, you can't be either... and he's definitely not for more than a fun relationship.

[Cc1234]

I think conversations about exes and religion are things that need to happen at some point. Maybe not the first date, but fairly early on in the relationship so you don't get any surprises later on. As far as flaunting wealth and saying all you do is party, well I could see why those would be turn offs.

[PumkinRottie]

I think dating someone with a major lack of self awareness is also a huge turn off. But no 1 and 3 for sure regardless of gender.
Also dating someone who turns out to be a bigot, racist, homophobe, transphobe is also a no no.

[slimstiffy]

1 and 4, spot on. 2 and 3 are not necesaarily dumping grounds to me, but i can see why you avoided those two oarticular girls.

[burlen]

Do you mean I should have told her I had sex with a friend-with-benefit a day before we had the date? Should I have told her I have had 7 short-term relationships in 2 years? Should I have told her my last long-term relationship was two years ago?

Should I had punched holes in her Pentecostal faith? Should I have entered in a debate about religion with a girl who isn't my intellectual equal? Imagine a geneticist (not that I'm one) picking a fight about DNA sequencing with a freshman.

Discussion about exes and reasons for breaking up ought to be had when you've known each other for a long period. I'm in a date with you for us to know us, not to know my dates and circumstances of breaking up. Did she want to hear I dumped my ex for another girl because my ex wasn't good in bed?

Surely, you can know a lot about a date through the relationships they've had but it risks opening up unnecessary painful emotions or nostalgia when in fact you should be focusing on the one in front of you.

[slimstiffy]

Do you mean I should have told her I had sex with a friend-with-benefit a day before we had the date? Should I have told her I have had 7 short-term relationships in 2 years? Should I have told her my last long-term relationship was two years ago?
thats upto you.

Should I had punched holes in her Pentecostal faith? Should I have entered in a debate about religion with a girl who isn't my intellectual equal? Imagine a geneticist (not that I'm one) picking a fight about DNA sequencing with a freshman.
thats upto you too.
i dont really give a shit

[NatashaJ]

I only touch on exes like how it was I don't go into details unless he ask.

[Otakugeek]

Wow this makes me so proud of my sellf that on my 1st date at the age of 25 , went into it as myself. And not as someone I'm not

[beebetree25]

These are very realistic. I stand behind these turn off, they'd turn me off as well

[93stepsawayfromhome]

Maybe they ghosted you as well, because you're an arrogant douchebag?

[Anonymous]

and u so sure she want a 2nd date with u... like u r a prize or some lol

[NatashaJ]

He not acting like that he just saying how it is, the first point the girl was clearly brag, second one seem like she did wanted to date him and want to know his sex life, third she piece of a crap and 4th didn't know that would look bad.

[NatashaJ]

bragging*

[matt1209]

Constantly being on your phone.

[YaBaba]

INteresting