6 Golden Rules of Dating Everyone Would be Better Off Forgetting


"Don’t text or call them back for at least 4 hours after they’ve reached out to you unless you want to come off as desperate."

All of the convoluted texting/calling rules for after a date are ridiculous. If you had a good time, tell that person. If you want to talk to them the next day, talk to them. That

If they are the kind of person that is turned off by that sort of communication, is that someone you would really want to date anyway?

"If they aren't talking to you (every day, 24/7, once a week, etc.) they aren't thinking about you and therefore, are not interested.”

...uhh, maybe they're just busy? This one completely contradicts the previous point, yet is one you’ll hear just as much. Maybe they didn’t get back to you right away because something bad happened in their family. Maybe they have a ton of school work. Maybe they’re nervous.

Maybe they’re busy living their life and not hovering around their phone around the clock.

Golden Rules of Dating That Everyone Would be Better Off Forgetting

"Women love a man who's persistent."

Nah. Women love a man who respects their rejection with grace.

A man who's persistent despite phone calls not being returned for months, or shows up to her place uninvited, is a stalker and socially inept, seeing as how many of the 'signals' the girl is supposedly sending him are failing to come through.

"Always be yourself."

*Always be the best version of yourself. A bit like if you're going to a job interview.

6 Golden Rules of Dating Everyone Would be Better Off Forgetting

"Opposites attract."

...though people often forget the other half of that saying. "... but they don't stick together."

In most of the relationships that I can think of, both individuals are pretty similar in many things. If not similar, then complementary.

Certain aspects of you can be different, but complement each other. For example, if one is more quiet while the other may be more outspoken and risk-taking. One of your strengths can cover the other's weaknesses, and vice versa. BUT. You have to have some priorities in common, like shared goals.

You need to walk in the same direction if you're going to be walking together, metaphorically speaking.

"You'll find him when you stop looking."

Which doesn't mean 'go ahead and never leave your basement.' It means focus on living a full life.

If you aren't in a relationship but want to be, don't put your energy into finding an SO. Put your energy into being somebody worth dating. Pick up some interesting hobbies, get in shape, whatever. Work on yourself first.

If you mope around thinking, "When's it gonna be my turn to fall in love?"

…It's gonna take you a helluva long time to find someone legit. Try to get to know actual people, not just space holders you feign interest in for the sake of companionship.

6 Golden Rules of Dating Everyone Would be Better Off Forgetting
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Most Helpful Girl

  • Trashay
    Who ever plays that four day/hour delay rule might be quite the marketer to get people to believe it. Those who actually practice it must think they are gods gift. If you like them, reply back in a timely manner, any respectable person will think better of you that you are not playing that crap game.
    Good post.
    Is this still revelant?

Most Helpful Guy

  • Anonymous
    You are right about the persistence part. I was guilty of doing that to girl in college, but I got smarter in my mid 20s.

    Problem is that Hollywood/TV shows brainwashed men into thinking persistence pays off. It almost NEVER pays off, just turns off.
    Is this still revelant?
    • And women think you're some kind of creeper/stalker.

    • Anonymous

      yep. Thing is MOST of those persistent guys just don't know any better and they really are harmless. Looking back on how I acted in college I feel really embarrassed. The last thing any guy wants to be labeled is a "stalker". Either way these guys likely didn't have any role models (I know I didn't). You don't see the strong alpha male being the positive role model nowadays because of asinine feminism. Fucking hollywood/TV shows don't help with this either.

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What Girls & Guys Said

  • Ssimon91
    I loved reading this. this is so freaking true and its sad how many people live by these outdated rules.

    *points 1 and 2*

    this fustrates me the most honestly. im someone who tells someone how im feeling on the moment. so i say thanks for the date and i TTYL after it. if this makes me looks thristy then LOL.

    i hate when people like point 2 get mad when i dont text or call them for a day then say i dont care, meanwhile im always the guy to start contact. a phone works 2 ways if you want to talk to me just pick it up your self instead of playing your game. I don't know about anyone else, but when i see im the only one putting effort to talk, i fall back for a while cause to me the other person isn't interested. "Girls will make time for people who they are interested in (same goes for guys)"

    "When you stop looking is when you find someone"

    This is low key the realist thing. when i stopped looking for a girl to work on myself, all the sudden i started having better luck with them. however most people rely on online dating, then get mad when they run into unfit people. (not calling online dating bad, but lets be real for a second)
    • kaylaS91

      I fully agree about the second point. Next time a girl asks you why you didn't call or text her the day after you guys went on your first date, or any date really, just flip the question around. I bet she'll be a little shell-shocked if you casually say that you were just busy with work. But are curious why she didn't take life by the balls and call you since she was obviously thinking about it. :P

  • Smmyskittles
    "" You'll find him when you stop looking "" is an important one.

    - - - A lot of people (when looking into dating) seem to forget that... they have a life outside of it. They become almost obsessive about being with someone.

    :] Don't agree with everything else.. but it's a nice take.
  • Unit1
    True these!
    Also the time to wait until sex - Just have sex when you feel ready, not by some rules.
    • kaylaS91

      very true. You can definitely stay tuned for a part two of this take because I could really go on for ages about how much of the dating advice preached about that is, in reality, complete bullshit. 😩

    • Unit1

      Make sure to let me know about a part 2 =) I will be wait.

  • 19MK34
    There are two real golden rules in dating...

    1. Be good looking.
    2. Dont be ugly.
    • You sound like that guy from 21 Jump Street (the movie) when he says how to get along in high school lol.

    • Lol I love it when people who don't know the first thing about dating start talking about "golden rules"

  • beatupjohncena
    This is a great take, such good advice. The only thing I maybe disagree with is the opposites not attracting. For example fit girls date unfit guys all the time. It's just easier to imagine a fit girl dating a fit guy because they probably go to the same gym and have more in common. But it's not like two people of great differing fitness levels would have nothing to talk about.
  • MrNameless
  • peachblossomluck
    Brilliant☆☆☆☆☆ Stuff that may have worked in parent's or grandparent's day can be moot. There's a different social construct now.
  • Gommers
    You know what's fucked up? This, all of this. Every single letter of it.
    • kaylaS91

      Does the grammar (all the periods, commas, etc.) get a pass?

    • Gommers

      Sure if that makes you feel like your time wasn't entirely wasted.

    • kaylaS91

      naw man. Time isn't wasted when it's clear that I've managed to push the stick already up your ass a little bit deeper. 👏

    • Show All
  • jjmarvin
    If a girl can't handle you flooding her basement to play cave trolls she's not the one for you
  • Bluemax
    Very well said.

    A problem kind of arises about "interesting hobbies." That's poorly defined. By that I think people mean "hobbies that most people find interesting." However, people think very differently about what is "interesting".

    I sail. I snorkel and I have scuba dived. I hike. I camp. I was a student pilot. I take great interest in astronomy and earth science.

    My wife enjoyed none of those, though she kind of liked hearing me talk about them. But if I mentioned Coconino limestone her eyes would glaze over. Whereas the woman I am sort of dating now actively asks questions about dikes and sills and terracing when we walk together and wants to learn about them.

    My advice is to diversify your hobby portfolio.
  • phil2
    I think the last one is true and there is nothing wrong with putting effort into meeting people and making connections.
  • Chuhiya
    I totally agree with all the poinrs you have made here...
  • SlightlyCrazy
    That was a wonderful take and is so true
    I must highlight point 1
    That single thing has pissed me of more then any other
    I hate how we can't just be real with eachother
    Thanks for that
  • Pacificblue62
    This is a very great mytake. Very mature advice. There needs to be mytakes on this site giving similar advice
  • bbch25
    I like this take. I have always been firm on number 1. If someone messaged me, and I was free, I'd reply. I didn't wait for a certain amount of time. A guy I met online and then face to face 2 weeks later, he took me back to my car (took the train to my car, and I waited around until the next train came) and then I sent a text after he left saying thanks for taking me to my car, I had fun, please let me know you get back safe too (he had like a 2 hour trip). I didn't worry about sending it. I'm THAT person. And you're right, if he didn't like it, we wouldn't work anyway.

    BUT for the second one. For me, if you're so busy you can't even reply to a message at all for a period, I'd feel like you obviously aren't serious about pursuing things. A text can take a few seconds in an entire day.
  • John_Doesnt
    But when I go to a job interview the best version of me is to lie all the time. Should I lie to chicks? It makes sense if I did.
    • kaylaS91

      I don't view putting the best version of yourself forward as being a lie. It's simply abiding by a social norm. Why would an employer want to hire an employee who comes to an interview wearing sweatpants+bedhair, and farts/picks their nose as soon as the interview starts?

    • I have to lie, because nobody would hire my true self.

    • kaylaS91

      Let's call it a little white lie, in that case. Everybody does it.

  • LiveFreeorDieHard
    I say let people follow any rules they do or do not want.
  • bloodmountain1990
    Great take. You make some great points especially about texting and keeping in contact. You don't have to play mind games where you have to act uninterested to not appear clingy but you don't have to contact each other 24/7 and smother them. It's not a black and white thing.

    And I've learned a lot about the last one too. Put yourself out there but don't make it seem like finding someone is your priority and keep yourself occupied so you have something to offer. If someone you date has a problem with your hobbies and you being busy then that person is clingy.
  • AlwaysBelieving
    Good take. Now if only more people thought this way.
  • Mesonfielde
    Good take, I like it 100/100%
  • ChocoLada
    Yup, that's so true, very good myTake :)
  • NightOwl8801
    Sounds about right , goog solid advice.
  • Panay
    Ncs, well written take
  • kelvinmed
    Nice advise
  • Soulife
    Good take. :)
  • Anonymous
    Actually, if I wasn't persistent I wouldn't be married right now. Some women love that.
  • Anonymous
    What about that guys always have to make the first move and be the initiators?
  • Anonymous
    I like how you pointed out that none of those "golden rules" are realistic. Yeah people are better off forgetting them.
    • kaylaS91

      Mhm. Following them to a t would imply that males and females all function in exactly the same way. That there aren't thousands of variables that could make a specific rule useless, hence why many of them may actually end up screwing you over even more.